are children overrated? came across this article, thought it was interesting

[stevesmi]

There is an unspoken taboo in our society where if you admit that having kids wasn't quite what you thought it would be and that if you could do it all over again that you would have chosen NOT to have kids, that you are a monster, an evil, despicable monster.

The truth is a large percentage of parents HATE being parents. They will never say it out loud and they can't even admit that to themselves because "only an evil demon" would come to that conclusion, they think.
However, underneath it all, underneath all the B.S. is the truth that we all know:
Children are overrated.
For every precious moment where the little brat does something special, there are 1,000 moments where they drive you crazy.
They literally tear your life upside down. Marriage, sex life, your wives appearance, your social life, the list goes on and on and on.
Oh yeah, the worst part is yet to come - the teenage years. I could write volumes on this subject.
The reason people have children is because of this unwritten societal norm where the standard is to get married and immediately begin to produce offspring because "that's the thing to do".
Here's another fact for you if you're interested in the subject: the highest points of martial satisfaction are: 1) after the kids leave and 2) before the kids were born. Look it up, it's true.

I decided not to have kids or a wife...

And haven't regretted it one bit!!! I look at all my sorry faced friends straining to make ends meet, having the endless honey do lists, soccer games, Dr bills, bitching, whinny little brats, debt up their asses!!.....and me....well I focused on work and saving money and have no debt, date all different kinds of women, no strings attached, buying a brand new custom house that my friends and family can only dream about, and will be able to retire at 45.....
Yea, I may grow up old and have no one but look....most of you will be divorced and so broke after raising kids, alimony, child support, kids college...that you will have nothing to show for it when you are 65 and still have to work till your are dead......sorry thats reality.
My relatives have given up asking. They know better. Then someone always pulls me aside and says, "I would love to have your life".

I think most people end up having kids because 1) They're too stupid to know how to use birth control properly and/or 2) They have an idealistic, completely unrealistic vision of what parenthood entails.

People imagine dressing their daughter in pretty clothes, or playing catch with their son. They don't think about being awoken at 2 a.m. by a sick, screaming kid who just threw up all over the bed, and who doesn't give a shit that you have to get up for work in four hours. They don't think about the mortgage company threatening to foreclose, or the electricity being shut off, because the husband can't pay all the bills on one income. More people should think about these things, and fewer people should be having children. Parenthood should be left to those few couples who are willing to take the good with the bad.

 

[-Ariel-]

Not gonna read that. Have immense respect for people that want kids. Friends that have children are the happiest and healthiest. No joke there.
My brother has 2, and his family is a pillar of strength for him.

That said, I don't want kids. Wanna be an awesome uncle, but that's it.

 

[stevesmi]

Not gonna read that. Have immense respect for people that want kids. Friends that have children are the happiest and healthiest. No joke there.
My brother has 2, and his family is a pillar of strength for him.

That said, I don't want kids. Wanna be an awesome uncle, but that's it.

i wouldn't mind having ONE kid. but only with a sane woman.

 

[ricco561]

You have never really lived until you've changed a shitty diaper at 2 am.

 

[RottenWillow]

perhaps a real life analogy to The Emperor's New Clothes.

 

[twenty47]

while i can respect that guys opinion obviously hes doing what he wants but i atleast want a wife. just hope she's the right one. i beleive some women can be the perfect partners. keyword some.

stevesmi worded it better ^^^ a sane woman lol.

 

[stevesmi]

You have never really lived until you've changed a shitty diaper at 2 am.

i have 2 dogs.. when they were puppies i've had to take them for walks at night or clean up their piss off the carpet etc. so i can kinda relate.

but a baby will cry for an hour, atleast a dog knows when to shut up after he gets to crap outside.

 

[stevesmi]

while i can respect that guys opinion obviously hes doing what he wants but i atleast want a wife. just hope she's the right one. i beleive some women can be the perfect partners. keyword some.

stevesmi worded it better ^^^ a sane woman lol.

haha. the one i am dating now has anxiety and has xanax in her purse. thats a problem i suppose. i'm scared if i marry her one day she will turn nuts one day.

 

[twenty47]

haha. the one i am dating now has anxiety and has xanax in her purse. thats a problem i suppose. i'm scared if i marry her one day she will turn nuts one day.

dude i left my girl in chicago that has the same thing. but she is different then all the girls i have met. she is just straight up cool. never gets jealous. i just cant explain how shes different but she is. BUT she gets really bad anxiety and has super bad problems with her mom. carrys around xanax and shit. From a girlfriend standpoint she is perfect but im afraid of the other stuff. and she has super bad health problems. she gets sick like every month and doctors dont know why.. has strep throat and shit all the time. gets high fevers. its weird. if i marry her im afraid she's either going to get super sick or shes gonna go crazy because of her mom.

 

[cw801]

Or....you could do what my hubby did....find a woman that already has a kid (or two, in my case) AFTER the diapers and all that no-sleeping BS....and who are well behaved...... I wonder sometimes if my hubby actually wants a baby of his own (because I am done - that would be a deal-breaker), but whenever he's around his twin brother's baby, he is very glad he's never had to change a dirty diaper in his life......

 

[cw801]

dude i left my girl in chicago that has the same thing. but she is different then all the girls i have met. she is just straight up cool. never gets jealous. i just cant explain how shes different but she is. BUT she gets really bad anxiety and has super bad problems with her mom. carrys around xanax and shit. From a girlfriend standpoint she is perfect but im afraid of the other stuff. and she has super bad health problems. she gets sick like every month and doctors dont know why.. has strep throat and shit all the time. gets high fevers. its weird. if i marry her im afraid she's either going to get super sick or shes gonna go crazy because of her mom.

Marriage is over rated....just stay BF and GF......

 

[cindylou]

I have one baby, a great family and support system. My social life is exactly the same as it was before, I get out at least once every other weekend, and the weekends I dont get out, my friends come to my house. My life is 100% better post baby than it was pre-baby. I dont think having ANOTHER kid would make it better, but I dont regret having a baby for one second. Abby has only woken up sick in the middle of the night once. She slept through the night 8 hours at 6 weeks and slept 12 hours at 5 months. I am a WAHM so things get hectic, but its only for such a short time. Who cares. I was so structured and routined before, now I can live life and go with the flow - I have learned so much from her.

I think it helps that God blessed me with an Angel child and a family who fights over who gets to watch her so I can have a life outside being a Mom. I get the best of both worlds. One kid is the way to go! I couldnt imagine going through life not experiencing what its like to be a Mother. Its a life experience just like trying new foods and traveling. It does not last forever. Some people are so scared of being temporarily inconvenienced they miss out on the experience. Too bad. Kids are only kids for awhile, they grow up and move on and you could possibly have another 40 years to be childfree again.

And dressing her up is fun as hell and we already throw the ball to eachother.

 

[billfred]

Or....you could do what my hubby did....find a woman that already has a kid (or two, in my case) AFTER the diapers and all that no-sleeping BS....and who are well behaved...... I wonder sometimes if my hubby actually wants a baby of his own (because I am done - that would be a deal-breaker), but whenever he's around his twin brother's baby, he is very glad he's never had to change a dirty diaper in his life......

pre-fab family - not a bad way to go

 

[stevesmi]

dude i left my girl in chicago that has the same thing. but she is different then all the girls i have met. she is just straight up cool. never gets jealous. i just cant explain how shes different but she is. BUT she gets really bad anxiety and has super bad problems with her mom. carrys around xanax and shit. From a girlfriend standpoint she is perfect but im afraid of the other stuff. and she has super bad health problems. she gets sick like every month and doctors dont know why.. has strep throat and shit all the time. gets high fevers. its weird. if i marry her im afraid she's either going to get super sick or shes gonna go crazy because of her mom.

mine doesn't take them unless she has a panic attack. which she says she hasn't had in 2 years since her cat got sick and was dying in the hospital.

she uses yoga and herbs to stay balanced.

but my fear is one day if we have a kid and something happens to the kid she will panic and go crazy.

 

[trex74]

I don't think having kids is overrated, but I think trying to be the perfect parent is.


http://www.nytimes.com/2010/06/06/fashion/06Culture.html

an excerpt:

..."But Ms. Badinter thinks that new social pressures are hard for many women to resist. The “green” mother, she says, is pushed to give birth at home, to refuse an epidural as the reflection of “a degenerated industrial civilization” that would deprive her of “an irreplaceable experience,” to breast-feed for both ethological and environmental reasons (plastic baby bottles) and to use washable rather than disposable diapers — in other words, to discard the inventions “that have liberated women.” "

 

[stevesmi]

I've noticed some ethnicities have tons of kids. like italians or hispanics. they seem to just have them cause its the 'thing to do' even if it means living poor.

and then you have the parents who drop their kids off at the mall or theme park for the day. i just see a lot of parents have kids then not spend any time with them and just get sick of them.

 

[billfred]

I think it is each to their own. Lots of people certainly having kids that don't need to. Unfortunately, the ones that need them the least seem to have the most.

I have 3 kids and I don't think I would do it any different - well yeah, I would probably have 4 to try and avoid the middle child syndrome.

Money has not been much of an issue and I am fortunate to have a wife that keeps up with all their functions as I could never manage that.

That being said, I have travelled a lot during my career and one of the things I enjoyed most about it was the solitude it brought and break from all that "family time". I used to feel guilty about enjoying it so much I got over that in a hurry.

 

[musclemom]

Real estate ownership and reproduction are both totally over rated.

 

[canadianhitman]

I am THRILLED not to have kids.

I can do what I want when I want...my friends who have kids are constantly missing out on going to hockey games, UFC, weekend road trips ect because of family commitments. I think finding a like-minded woman and being kid-free is not a bad thing; there are too many people on this earth as it is.

 

[-SD-]

You may not want a child and choose not to have one, which is everyones choice and right. But the minute you bring a kid into the world it does no one any good to express in any way how you regretted having that kid. You would damage the child long term more than likely if they found out. Everyone has regrets but in this case its best to keep your mouth shut about it and be responsible parent. Unless you want your kids hating you the rest of your life, and everyone else for that matter.

"No use crying over spilled milk" as the saying goes.

 

[cindylou]

mine doesn't take them unless she has a panic attack. which she says she hasn't had in 2 years since her cat got sick and was dying in the hospital.

she uses yoga and herbs to stay balanced.

but my fear is one day if we have a kid and something happens to the kid she will panic and go crazy.

I think its nuts that you think she will panic and go crazy just because she has had a couple panic attacks. Anything can cause someone to have a panic attack, too many stimulants etc. I had a year where I had panic attacks - its really not a big deal.

 

[ceo]

There is an unspoken taboo in our society where if you admit that having kids wasn't quite what you thought it would be and that if you could do it all over again that you would have chosen NOT to have kids, that you are a monster, an evil, despicable monster.

The truth is a large percentage of parents HATE being parents. They will never say it out loud and they can't even admit that to themselves because "only an evil demon" would come to that conclusion, they think.
However, underneath it all, underneath all the B.S. is the truth that we all know:
Children are overrated.
For every precious moment where the little brat does something special, there are 1,000 moments where they drive you crazy.
They literally tear your life upside down. Marriage, sex life, your wives appearance, your social life, the list goes on and on and on.
Oh yeah, the worst part is yet to come - the teenage years. I could write volumes on this subject.
The reason people have children is because of this unwritten societal norm where the standard is to get married and immediately begin to produce offspring because "that's the thing to do".
Here's another fact for you if you're interested in the subject: the highest points of martial satisfaction are: 1) after the kids leave and 2) before the kids were born. Look it up, it's true.

I decided not to have kids or a wife...

And haven't regretted it one bit!!! I look at all my sorry faced friends straining to make ends meet, having the endless honey do lists, soccer games, Dr bills, bitching, whinny little brats, debt up their asses!!.....and me....well I focused on work and saving money and have no debt, date all different kinds of women, no strings attached, buying a brand new custom house that my friends and family can only dream about, and will be able to retire at 45.....
Yea, I may grow up old and have no one but look....most of you will be divorced and so broke after raising kids, alimony, child support, kids college...that you will have nothing to show for it when you are 65 and still have to work till your are dead......sorry thats reality.
My relatives have given up asking. They know better. Then someone always pulls me aside and says, "I would love to have your life".

I think most people end up having kids because 1) They're too stupid to know how to use birth control properly and/or 2) They have an idealistic, completely unrealistic vision of what parenthood entails.

People imagine dressing their daughter in pretty clothes, or playing catch with their son. They don't think about being awoken at 2 a.m. by a sick, screaming kid who just threw up all over the bed, and who doesn't give a shit that you have to get up for work in four hours. They don't think about the mortgage company threatening to foreclose, or the electricity being shut off, because the husband can't pay all the bills on one income. More people should think about these things, and fewer people should be having children. Parenthood should be left to those few couples who are willing to take the good with the bad.

I assume you are not the author of this piece? Though I do not see a link or source, so perhaps you are? But then why would you contradict yourself in the very next post? Plus, as you have no kids, I don't see how you could write volumes on the subject of parenting through the teenage years. But then this author has no kids, and yet apparently deems him/herself an expert on the subject. LOL, sounds like some of the 18-20 year old 6 ft. tall 180 lb. kids on the AAS board who have never done a cycle, but are giving out steroid advice.

I think this is the point of view from someone who is a very selfish and arrogant person. Not for the fact they just don't want kids. For that I definitely agree. Someone such as this would be a horrible parent, and god knows we have enough of them already.

"I don't want kids, so I'll just say, 'the truth that we all know is: children are overrated.' This is true because, they would totally screw up MY social life, MY sex life, MY free time, MY, MY, memememememememememememe. I'll also say how my life is so much better than everyone else who has kids, and how I can afford all the things they can't and it's all because I don't have kids (I'm just better)."

Maybe this author should find new friends who aren't as broke as he/she says all of his/her friends are. My wife and I have a kid, and several of our friends have kids, and none of us are hurting financially. I do have some single friends though, who couldn't fucking touch our lifestyle. I wouldn't love to have this author's life. I bet his friends and family hate him too.

 

[ceo]

i wouldn't mind having ONE kid. but only with a sane woman.

I won't say they don't exist, because I found one. But, finding one is like finding a needle in a haystack son. I ran through a LOT of crazies before I got lucky.

 

[ceo]

haha. the one i am dating now has anxiety and has xanax in her purse. thats a problem i suppose. i'm scared if i marry her one day she will turn nuts one day.

she's cheating on you.


and lol @ "turn nuts" bish carries xanies in her purse...she already IS nuts.

 

[ceo]

dude i left my girl in chicago that has the same thing. but she is different then all the girls i have met. she is just straight up cool. never gets jealous. i just cant explain how shes different but she is. BUT she gets really bad anxiety and has super bad problems with her mom. carrys around xanax and shit. From a girlfriend standpoint she is perfect but im afraid of the other stuff. and she has super bad health problems. she gets sick like every month and doctors dont know why.. has strep throat and shit all the time. gets high fevers. its weird. if i marry her im afraid she's either going to get super sick or shes gonna go crazy because of her mom.

again, LOL @ "gonna go crazy"! wtf is wrong with you d00ds? She IS crazy!


Oh, and obviously...



she's cheating on you!

 

[-SD-]

she's cheating on you.


and lol @ "turn nuts" bish carries xanies in her purse...she already IS nuts.

lo

 

[ceo]

and she has super bad health problems. she gets sick like every month and doctors dont know why.. has strep throat and shit all the time. gets high fevers. its weird.

dx: full blown AIDS...



from all that cheating on you!

 

[ceo]

Or....you could do what my hubby did....find a woman that already has a kid (or two, in my case) AFTER the diapers and all that no-sleeping BS....and who are well behaved...... I wonder sometimes if my hubby actually wants a baby of his own (because I am done - that would be a deal-breaker), but whenever he's around his twin brother's baby, he is very glad he's never had to change a dirty diaper in his life......

So he didn't just shoplift the pootie? Good guy.

 

[-SD-]

lol @ doods thinking their GF isnt batshit while carrying around xannies in her purse.

 

[IrightI]

It is horribly UNDERATED! I never knew what pure love was, heard about it, but until you hold that child, I'm not sure you ever will. I absolutely LOVE being a dad. All of it, the shitty diapers, feeding, and now being coach, playmate, and Dad. As I said before many times, God gave me something that I didn't deserve, and I'll never be able to repay that gift. As I see it, all I can do is try and be the best parent that I can.

In my experience, the parents who aren't thrilled with it, are the same ones who still want to be single, act single even though thery may be married. They probably had a child thinking that it somehow would make them feel loved and wanted in some way, and it didn't. Now, they have the same mental deficites and the pressure of a child/ children. I know several parents who will say that they probably wouldn't do it again, that's the ones who are still at the lake drinking, doing dope, going to bars, cheating on their spouse, many other forms of selfish behaviors, etc. They are obviously still children themselves. Their kids are poorly behaved because they are constantly shoved unwillingly from g-parent to g-parent, left with friends, and little or no disipline.

I don't miss anything, hockey games, baseball games, movies, or any of that. I'm coaching all the sports, and taking them with me to the movies. I did wait till I was older, 37, before I became a parent.

I LOVE it, wouldn't change a thing. The greatest job in the world, being Dad.

signed,

TxB

 

[-SD-]

It is horribly UNDERATED! I never knew what pure love was, headr about it, but until you hold that child, I'm not sure you ever will. I absolutely LOVe being a dad. All of it, the shitty diapers, feeding, and now being coach, playmate, and Dad. As I said before many times, God gave me something that I didn't deserve, and I'll never be able to repay that gift. As I see it, all I can do is try and be the best parent that I can.

In my experience, the parents who aren't thrilled with it, are the same ones who still want to be single, act single even though thery may be married. They probably had a child thinking that it somehow would make them feel loved and wanted in some way, and it didn't. Now, they have the same mental deficites and the pressure of a child/ children. I know several parents who will say that they probably wouldn't do it again, that's the ones who are still at the lake drinking, doing dope, going to bars, cheating on their spouse, many other forms of selfish behaviors, etc. They are obviously still children themselves. Their kids are poorly behaved because they are constantly shoved unwillingly from g-parent to g-parent, left with friends, and little or no disipline.

I don't miss anything, hockey games, baseball games, movies, or any of that. I'm coaching all the sports, and taking them with me to the movies. I did wait till I was older, 37, before I became a parent.

I LOVE it, wouldn't change a thing. The greatest job in the world, being Dad.

signed,

TxB

Im 35 but not a parent (yet?). Do you think its an advantage or not waiting your age to become a parent instead of at say, 25?

 

[hurricane]

a person should never have a child till they are mature enough to handle the responsobility..part of the reason i waited till my mid 30's/

selfish people or people that care only about themselves dont deserve a kid or shouldn't have any..part of being a parent and enjoying it IMO is loving for your child more(or as much) as your own self..when u feel this way nothing will even be a burden or nothing will be going to far to make them have a good life or to make them happy..sadly alot of parents dont feel this way and thats where feelings like this authors come from..

i would give my life or take a bullet for my son without thinking twice. he is my world.. there is no more of a pleasure in this world then me doing something that helps to make his life better

 

[IrightI]

Im 35 but not a parent (yet?). Do you think its an advantage or not waiting your age to become a parent instead of at say, 25?

SD, if your through doing the things that are considered, "self-destructive", you can be a good parent at any age. I wasn't. I was selfish, still out there doing the deal, running hoes, all of it. After age 35, I started slowing a bit. When my son was born, it pretty much ceased. You need to get all that out first, being a parent HAS to become your fist committment.

There IS life after parenthood, but it's different. Now, you can't kill yourself and it not matter. You can't go to jail, and it not matter. You can't lose a job, and it not matter. You have to consider all the ramifications of the "what if's"....

TxB

 

[IrightI]

Ouch. I go to the lake drinking and my baby spends a ton of time w/ her grandparents. But I dont go to work, I stay home with her. I still stand by what I choose to do and how much I leave her. To each their own.

You notice, I said "Unwillingly", that was for you....

 

[trex74]

They probably had a child thinking that it somehow would make them feel loved and wanted in some way, and it didn't. Now, they have the same mental deficites and the pressure of a child/ children. I know several parents who will say that they probably wouldn't do it again, that's the ones who are still at the lake drinking, doing dope, going to bars, cheating on their spouse, many other forms of selfish behaviors, etc. They are obviously still children themselves. Their kids are poorly behaved because they are constantly shoved unwillingly from g-parent to g-parent, left with friends, and little or no disipline.

+ infinity

I can vouch for that from personal experience- I was unplanned and an intrusion by all accounts seeing as my parents were divorcing already.
My mom didn't want me around in the house, especially when she had friends over to smoke dope with.
Thank God for my grandparents who took me every weekend till I left home at 14.
If you don't really want kids please don't just go along and have them.

 

[cindylou]

It is horribly UNDERATED! I never knew what pure love was, heard about it, but until you hold that child, I'm not sure you ever will. I absolutely LOVE being a dad. All of it, the shitty diapers, feeding, and now being coach, playmate, and Dad. As I said before many times, God gave me something that I didn't deserve, and I'll never be able to repay that gift. As I see it, all I can do is try and be the best parent that I can.

In my experience, the parents who aren't thrilled with it, are the same ones who still want to be single, act single even though thery may be married. They probably had a child thinking that it somehow would make them feel loved and wanted in some way, and it didn't. Now, they have the same mental deficites and the pressure of a child/ children. I know several parents who will say that they probably wouldn't do it again, that's the ones who are still at the lake drinking, doing dope, going to bars, cheating on their spouse, many other forms of selfish behaviors, etc. They are obviously still children themselves. Their kids are poorly behaved because they are constantly shoved unwillingly from g-parent to g-parent, left with friends, and little or no disipline.

I don't miss anything, hockey games, baseball games, movies, or any of that. I'm coaching all the sports, and taking them with me to the movies. I did wait till I was older, 37, before I became a parent.

I LOVE it, wouldn't change a thing. The greatest job in the world, being Dad.

signed,

TxB

Ouch. I go to the lake drinking and my baby spends a ton of time w/ her grandparents. But I dont go to work, I stay home with her. I still stand by what I choose to do and how much I leave her. To each their own.

 

[IrightI]

a person should never have a child till they are mature enough to handle the responsobility..part of the reason i waited till my mid 30's/

selfish people or people that care only about themselves dont deserve a kid or shouldn't have any..part of being a parent and enjoying it IMO is loving for your child more(or as much) as your own self..when u feel this way nothing will even be a burden or nothing will be going to far to make them have a good life or to make them happy..sadly alot of parents dont feel this way and thats where feelings like this authors come from..

i would give my life or take a bullet for my son without thinking twice. he is my world.. there is no more of a pleasure in this world then me doing something that helps to make his life better

^^^^^ that's Mr. Harry Cane, the guy/ Dad I know...

 

[cindylou]

Im 35 but not a parent (yet?). Do you think its an advantage or not waiting your age to become a parent instead of at say, 25?

I think men need to wait a little longer. Sadly, women dont have that option. I cant explain why a woman needs to be young to have children, God made it that way. Maybe it gives them a little less anxiety, once you become too wise about the world having children can really make you anxious. IMO, a 20 year old mother does not worry and fret as much as a 35 year old mother...

 

[IrightI]

I hope Digi sees this thread.

 

[uamaverick]

The happiest married couple I've ever seen have two children. They were married for about three years before they had their first child. I've never seen a couple so consistently happy as them.

 

[cindylou]

+ infinity

I can vouch for that from personal experience- I was unplanned and an intrusion by all accounts seeing as my parents were divorcing already.
My mom didn't want me around in the house, especially when she had friends over to smoke dope with.
Thank God for my grandparents who took me every weekend till I left home at 14.
If you don't really want kids please don't just go along and have them.

Thats sad, I'm sorry about that.

Though, my DH spent every Friday night at his grandparents while his parents had a date night. THey focused on their marriage and made it important and he told me it made him feel secure in his family.

 

[hurricane]

^^^^^ that's Mr. Harry Cane, the guy/ Dad I know...

thanks..

like i said it all comes down to sacrifices u make for the love of your child

example.. the crap this thread is based on

its all about memememe..what burdens the child brings to him.. how a child makes his life harder..less things he can do because of the child...all selfish thoughts of someone that cares only about himself

when u truely love your child its a pleasure to sacrifice this stuff for them..well maybe not always a pleasure lol but more then worth it ...

 

[ceo]

I think men need to wait a little longer. Sadly, women dont have that option. I cant explain why a woman needs to be young to have children, God made it that way. Maybe it gives them a little less anxiety, once you become too wise about the world having children can really make you anxious. IMO, a 20 year old mother does not worry and fret as much as a 35 year old mother...

I disagree. Mostly because this is too much of a generalization. A woman doesn't "need" to be young to have kids, that's a ridiculous claim. Of course you see it this way because you had your girl in your 20's, and you even made it relatively impossible to argue by taking it to the highest authority ("god made it that way"). Yes, they have options. Ever hear about grandma carrying a baby for her daughter? Where are you getting these bullshit ideas from anyway?

Some people are just wired to worry. They can have money in the bank, solid job/career, happy children and spouse, little to no debt, and still worry...no matter how old or young they are. Actually, I think a 20 year old girl in most cases has a LOT more to worry about than that 35 year old woman who is at least done with school and probably has a career, and hopefully some savings.

Also, there are more and more women who start having kids now in their 30's (hell, even 40's). It's certainly not impossible, nor is it necessarily anything to worry about.

 

[trex74]

Thats sad, I'm sorry about that.

Though, my DH spent every Friday night at his grandparents while his parents had a date night. THey focused on their marriage and made it important and he told me it made him feel secure in his family.

That sounds healthy...I never felt secure like that unless I was in a structured environment like school or sports.
The good thing was my grandparents were old school and taught me a lot of good stuff.
I was just feeling a little bitter- I guess it came out that way too.
Thanks

 

[IrightI]

I disagree. Mostly because this is too much of a generalization. A woman doesn't "need" to be young to have kids, that's a ridiculous claim. Of course you see it this way because you had your girl in your 20's, and you even made it relatively impossible to argue by taking it to the highest authority ("god made it that way"). Yes, they have options. Ever hear about grandma carrying a baby for her daughter? Where are you getting these bullshit ideas from anyway?

Some people are just wired to worry. They can have money in the bank, solid job/career, happy children and spouse, little to no debt, and still worry...no matter how old or young they are. Actually, I think a 20 year old girl in most cases has a LOT more to worry about than that 35 year old woman who is at least done with school and probably has a career, and hopefully some savings.

Also, there are more and more women who start having kids now in their 30's (hell, even 40's). It's certainly not impossible, nor is it necessarily anything to worry about.

itttcryadayada23456, whatever that techy thing is....

(TITCR)

 

[hurricane]

I disagree. Mostly because this is too much of a generalization. A woman doesn't "need" to be young to have kids, that's a ridiculous claim. Of course you see it this way because you had your girl in your 20's, and you even made it relatively impossible to argue by taking it to the highest authority ("god made it that way"). Yes, they have options. Ever hear about grandma carrying a baby for her daughter? Where are you getting these bullshit ideas from anyway?

Some people are just wired to worry. They can have money in the bank, solid job/career, happy children and spouse, little to no debt, and still worry...no matter how old or young they are. Actually, I think a 20 year old girl in most cases has a LOT more to worry about than that 35 year old woman who is at least done with school and probably has a career, and hopefully some savings.

Also, there are more and more women who start having kids now in their 30's (hell, even 40's). It's certainly not impossible, nor is it necessarily anything to worry about.

+1 i agree 100%.. i know from experience. alot of teens and early 20 year old women arent ready.."not over the selfish stage imo".. but it really depends on the mother

i should know my grandmother played a huge part in raising me because my mother was this way..she had me at 19

 

[cindylou]

I disagree. Mostly because this is too much of a generalization. A woman doesn't "need" to be young to have kids, that's a ridiculous claim. Of course you see it this way because you had your girl in your 20's, and you even made it relatively impossible to argue by taking it to the highest authority ("god made it that way"). Yes, they have options. Ever hear about grandma carrying a baby for her daughter? Where are you getting these bullshit ideas from anyway?

Some people are just wired to worry. They can have money in the bank, solid job/career, happy children and spouse, little to no debt, and still worry...no matter how old or young they are. Actually, I think a 20 year old girl in most cases has a LOT more to worry about than that 35 year old woman who is at least done with school and probably has a career, and hopefully some savings.

Also, there are more and more women who start having kids now in their 30's (hell, even 40's). It's certainly not impossible, nor is it necessarily anything to worry about.

Thats fine if you disagree. I think thats easy for you to say because you are not a woman and you dont HAVE to worry about it. I'm 29 with less than a one year old baby. I'm not exactly a youngin either. I know far to many women agonizing over not being able to conceive becuase they waited too long and are spending their precious savings on IVF treatments. ITs just the way it is ceo.

Also, I agree that I was generalizing. I was just SPECULATING (I said it was my opinion and I used the word maybe a couple times) on the reason why women can only have children when they are young. There must be a reason why nature/god set it up that way. It must be the best way to be.

My ideas are NOT bullshit. I wont discuss anything here with you anymore becuase you dont respect me in the least, so I wont respect a letter of what you write on here either.

 

[ceo]

Thats fine if you disagree. I think thats easy for you to say because you are not a woman and you dont HAVE to worry about it. I'm 29 with less than a one year old baby. I'm not exactly a youngin either. I know far to many women agonizing over not being able to conceive becuase they waited too long and are spending their precious savings on IVF treatments. ITs just the way it is ceo.

Also, I agree that I was generalizing. I was just SPECULATING (I said it was my opinion and I used the word maybe a couple times) on the reason why women can only have children when they are young. There must be a reason why nature/god set it up that way. It must be the best way to be.

My ideas are NOT bullshit. I wont discuss anything here with you anymore becuase you dont respect me in the least, so I wont respect a letter of what you write on here either.

Um, no you didn't. You didn't use the word opinion at all. Maybe you should read your post again. You did say you "think" that men need to wait, but then you said that women "don't have that option" because, "God made it that way." So, like I said, you made it impossible for anyone to argue your ridiculous and unsubstantiated point because you already took it to (your) highest authority. "God made it like that so there's just no other way and no arguing."

It's not that I don't respect you, I just don't respect the way you went about presenting your case. There isn't a fact to be found in it, yet you made it inarguable. And, when presented with an argument, you run away instead of trying to find any facts to support your claims.

Does it become more difficult to have kids when a woman is 35 rather than 25? Statistically, yes. Does it mean women "NEED to be young to have children" and, "don't have that option" of waiting until they are in their 30's? No, not at all.

And if you post absolute bullshit, expect to be called on it. It doesn't mean people don't respect you, and it's no reason to act like a child.

 

[ceo]

and no, I'm not a woman, but I am married to one who had a child at 34, and will likely have another. So, what exactly is it you are saying I do not "HAVE" to worry about?

 

[Underwraps]

People who DON'T want to have kids and then DON'T have kids are a blessing to human kind. People who DO want to have kids and work really hard at doing it well either by emulating their good upbringing or by learning through their parents mistakes are also a blessing. People who SHOULDN'T have kids and then do...well...that's where the tragedy lies. If they are wise they learn about the best tools to survive it and they bring up decent human beings and the pay off will come later when their decent human offspring wipe their old wrinkley asses for them when they're old and make sure they die in comfort. If they are stupid, they don't find the tools to cope and instead they abuse/neglect/spoil their kids into rottenness and then let them loose on US. The wisest of these will still grow up into decent human beings despite their upbringing by recentful parents. The dumb ones will just follow in their parent's footsteps and create more unloved or incorrectly loved children. Then we create gigantic nurseries for the poorest of these poor souls called prisons. Oversimplified, yes. It's OKAY to not have kids. If you don't want them PLEASE don't get yourself or anyone pregnant. Children deserve the gift of TWO loving parents, one will do at the very least &/or a couple of great grand parents, or give the gift of adoption. You are not evil for not wanting kids.

 

[cw801]

I had my kiddos in my early 20's......in retrospect, there are good things and bad things about having them younger, as opposed to mid-thirties.....while I had more energy for them and was young enough to have very low-risk pregnancies, we also didn't have a ton of money back then. Yes we provided just fine for them (my ex and I), but the financial issues we had put a huge strain on our marriage/relationship. Plus, I hadn't really had a chance to do all of the things I wanted to do with my life before I had kids......I think if I had them at this point in my life, rather than earlier, I would have been able to provide for them better, and would have been more "settled down" - meaning I would have done a lot of things I had wanted to do already....been more ready for kids. If I were able to do it all over again, I'd probably choose to have them in my 30's.......but, I adore my kids, and I am who I am today because of the way they shaped my life - so......absolutely no regrets in that department!

 

[billfred]

I disagree. Mostly because this is too much of a generalization. A woman doesn't "need" to be young to have kids, that's a ridiculous claim. Of course you see it this way because you had your girl in your 20's, and you even made it relatively impossible to argue by taking it to the highest authority ("god made it that way"). Yes, they have options. Ever hear about grandma carrying a baby for her daughter? Where are you getting these bullshit ideas from anyway?

Some people are just wired to worry. They can have money in the bank, solid job/career, happy children and spouse, little to no debt, and still worry...no matter how old or young they are. Actually, I think a 20 year old girl in most cases has a LOT more to worry about than that 35 year old woman who is at least done with school and probably has a career, and hopefully some savings.

Also, there are more and more women who start having kids now in their 30's (hell, even 40's). It's certainly not impossible, nor is it necessarily anything to worry about.

Dude - lighten up. Cindy is not bashing material here.

 

[cindylou]

Um, no you didn't. You didn't use the word opinion at all. Maybe you should read your post again. You did say you "think" that men need to wait, but then you said that women "don't have that option" because, "God made it that way." So, like I said, you made it impossible for anyone to argue your ridiculous and unsubstantiated point because you already took it to (your) highest authority. "God made it like that so there's just no other way and no arguing."

It's not that I don't respect you, I just don't respect the way you went about presenting your case. There isn't a fact to be found in it, yet you made it inarguable. And, when presented with an argument, you run away instead of trying to find any facts to support your claims.

Does it become more difficult to have kids when a woman is 35 rather than 25? Statistically, yes. Does it mean women "NEED to be young to have children" and, "don't have that option" of waiting until they are in their 30's? No, not at all.

And if you post absolute bullshit, expect to be called on it. It doesn't mean people don't respect you, and it's no reason to act like a child.

I am not the one acting like a child. Look ceo you dont have to agree with me, but I've been on this board since 2003 and I wont tolerate you calling my posts bullshit or my ideas bullshit. Are you unable to be civil and disagree with someone without insulting them? Save that shit for other newbs and drama starters who thrive on contention because I wont be a part of it.

Women for the most part have to be young to conceive naturally. Thats a fact. Now, young might be relative to you but I consider a woman in her early to mid 30's still on the young side. Possibly because Im 29 and still view myself as young. I dont always feel sorry for a woman who cant conceive because she waited until she was 37 and extensive rounds of hormones and fertility treatments didnt work. Its not wise for a woman to wait forever if family is important to her and she wants to conceive naturally.

SO. You dont like my idea about WHY nature intended it that way. Thats fine. I was just thinking outloud, and yes I did use the word MAYBE. Its obviously my opinion, maybe I didnt type that out exactly but going back and reading my post, I dont see where it isnt clear that I was just speculating, its obviously an opinion, anyone who can read and has a little social skill can tell fact from opinion without having to have it stated for them. I think we all learned that from elementary school.


There must be a reason that only women in their 20s and early 30's can conceive naturally and men can go on forever... I dont know the reason, but I can think about it and wonder..

 

[ceo]

I dont see where it isnt clear that I was just speculating, its obviously an opinion, anyone who can read and has a little social skill can tell fact from opinion without having to have it stated for them. I think we all learned that from elementary school.

Let me help you:

Sadly, women dont have that option. I cant explain why a woman needs to be young to have children, God made it that way.

No maybes, no opinions. Now do you see where I put my elementary school skill set to use?

There must be a reason that only women in their 20s and early 30's can conceive naturally and men can go on forever... I dont know the reason, but I can think about it and wonder..

OK, so before I LOL at this and refute it, would you like to clarify for me if this is your opinion/speculation too?

signed,

child of a 42 year old

 

[cindylou]

Okay, its FACT that its easier for a 20 year old to conceive naturally than it is for a late 30's early 40 year old woman. You really want to start an argument that women should wait that long just because it worked out okay for your family?

My opinion on that fact was WHY. That was my "idea". That was my opinion and what you had such a problem with.

And I've spoken about God in all my posts on this site since I've been here. I've been able to keep civil and make friends, good friends, with an athiest and a witch, and many other people with different ideas than me. Your offense at my wording says more about you than it does about me. So forget that I used God, replace that with whatever you believe, why did evolution set it up for younger women to conceive in droves while it is hard for older women if that is really what is in the best interest of the children and mother/father?

 

[TableFun]

how did this become an argument about the age at which a woman conceives? if a 40 yr old woman wants a baby, and she conceives then I say great for her! maybe she didnt *wait* but maybe she already had kids and wanted MORE. or maybe the circumstances of her life NOW are such that it would ideal to procreate with her current partner (maybe partners before were not really worthy?). who knows. there are so many variables, who are we to judge?

 

[cindylou]

how did this become an argument about the age at which a woman conceives? if a 40 yr old woman wants a baby, and she conceives then I say great for her! maybe she didnt *wait* but maybe she already had kids and wanted MORE. or maybe the circumstances of her life NOW are such that it would ideal to procreate with her current partner (maybe partners before were not really worthy?). who knows. there are so many variables, who are we to judge?

I totally agree w/ you. I wouldnt want to judge anyone. I made a statement about how women dont always have the choice to wait as long as men (we dont.) I pissed off Ceo.

 

[TableFun]

I totally agree w/ you. I wouldnt want to judge anyone. I made a statement about how women dont always have the choice to wait as long as men (we dont.) I pissed off Ceo.

oh, you're right. biology dictates that for us (for men and for women).

 

[ceo]

Okay, its FACT that its easier for a 20 year old to conceive naturally than it is for a late 30's early 40 year old woman. You really want to start an argument that women should wait that long just because it worked out okay for your family?

My opinion on that fact was WHY. That was my "idea". That was my opinion and what you had such a problem with.

And I've spoken about God in all my posts on this site since I've been here. I've been able to keep civil and make friends, good friends, with an athiest and a witch, and many other people with different ideas than me. Your offense at my wording says more about you than it does about me. So forget that I used God, replace that with whatever you believe, why did evolution set it up for younger women to conceive in droves while it is hard for older women if that is really what is in the best interest of the children and mother/father?

It's not your use of God (although again, it makes it pretty much impossible to debate an issue with someone who uses that argument), it was your use of absolutes. Though apparently, you either didn't see that you were in fact using absolutes, or you worded your posts poorly.

But surely you can see that when someone states things like "a woman needs to be young to have children" and, "only women in their 20s and early 30's can conceive naturally," it does seem pretty absolute. In fact though, it is not.

I am not trying to start an argument that a woman should wait until her late 30's or later to have children. Women have been having kids at all ages since the beginning of time. My friend has a beautiful 9 year old girl who was born to a 41 year old woman (her first child). They weren't trying, but they weren't prophylacting either. According to the bible, Sarah was 90 when she gave birth to Isaac, and 86 when she had Ishmael, so to say God made it so women need to be young to have kids, is refuted by God himself.

Regardless, we are both speaking in generalities when it comes to the best age for a woman to conceive. I've known females in their 20's who haven't been able to conceive. I worked with a lady who tried to conceive for 20 years (starting in her early 20's), then wound up having a friend be a surrogate. Every case is different. In general though, I disagree with your view that a 20 year old is better suited to have kids than a 30 or 35 year old. Physically speaking, that is usually true. But these days, emotionally speaking? No way. Things aren't like they were 50+ years ago.

Things did work out ok for my parents I guess. I mean my mom was 23 when she had my oldest brother, and 42 when she had her last of 4 (me). Now in that 19 year span there were a couple miscarriages and a stillborn child. I imagine those were difficult events...hell I know the miscarriage was, because I went through that with my wife...but yes, things did turn out ok. But that is just one case and hardly the sole reason for basing an opinion.

Perhaps we are just not communicating well with each other. I am ready to concede that you are not intending to speak in terms of absolutes.

 

[miplank]

I absolutely love being a father and I wouldn't change it for anything. My son is my world. I don't see how anyone could say that being a parent is overrated.

 

[ceo]

I totally agree w/ you. I wouldnt want to judge anyone. I made a statement about how women dont always have the choice to wait as long as men (we dont.) I pissed off Ceo.

no, you didn't piss me off. Actually, I was LOLing. As I stated in my previous post, it was your use of absolutes (although perhaps unintended).

I still like you.

 

[jnevin]

What I'm getting out of this is ceo's boys can't swim anymore.

 

[stilleto]

The subject of children (and throw in a dash of religion) are a touchy subject. lets try to stay polite here- everyone is going to have some pretty one sided opinions and there really is no right answer except your own.

agreed?

 

[cindylou]

:hug: I dont believe in absolutes


I admit I could have taken more time to say what I meant but I was already on the defensive. Sorry

 

[ceo]

I frequently can come across as an asshole. It tends to (at times) impede my ability to debate civilly. Most likely this is the result of being born to a 42 year old woman.

lol.

 

[ceo]

What I'm getting out of this is ceo's boys can't swim anymore.

actually, the last test was back in April, and they are not only swimming just fine, but the count was higher than the average range.

 

[PICK3]

I'm considering adopting a 16 y.o. Asian girl

 

[stilleto]

:hug: I dont believe in absolutes


I admit I could have taken more time to say what I meant but I was already on the defensive. Sorry

no apology necessary my dear.

ceo? can you and cindylou hug it out or am i going to have bust a cap in yo' ass?

 

[stevesmi]

intersting thread. no i didn't write the opening. hence the question i was asking. i am undecided if i want kids. here is something else that same person came up with.

chew on this: AGAIN i DID NOT WRITE THIS. but i thought it was very interesting and thought provoking and it scares the s*it out of me, no way do i want this to happen to me!!

The thing about 90% of most women that become mothers is that their twat stretches out and they get a big gut. They started eating for two, and they find they like it. So it's twinkies and m&ms all day. Then they run up the mastercard buying the Tova Borgnine wrinkle cream and the Bob Bowersox spatchela collection from QVC which they watch all day. So you come home from your day at work, and you see this fat fuck in polyester stretch pants. "I took Dakota to the doctor and he has ADD. And Ashleigh has the flu and I think I have a scratchy throat too. And the voyager makes a ping ping sound so you have to take it down to the garage. And I think I damaged the springs under the front seat when I loaded my 400 lb ass onto it while strapping and unstrapping and adjusting and unadjusting the rear facing child safety seats while it took me 45 minutes to load and unload the screaming little treasures in and out of the car."

You see, once the woman has her two little trophies, she doesn't need you any more, except as a meal ticket.

We had one kid. Wife stays home, but the kid wears her out. I bust my fucking ASS 60 hrs/week and get no credit. Wife gives me guilt when I don't throw everything down right after work to watch this screaming, annoying fucking kid so she can go out to the gym, or to some restaurant with her friends, or to her sister's house to watch movies.

She gets to take naps during the day when the baby sleeps, and every time I call her on the cell during the day, she is at Starbucks with her Mom or friends. She says that doesn't count as "Her time" because she's with the baby.
I've had enough. I feel so undervalued and OWNED. She is so 'entitled' now it's like 60 (or 70, or 80) hours a week from me is EXPECTED. Being at work from 8-7 counts as my 'social' time, so I am not allowed to have any friends or ever do ANYTHING outside of change FUCKING DIAPERS.

I give birth to your kids and you complain we don't have sex? How do you think they were born, osmosis? Who takes care of them, drives them to school, picks them up for after school activities, drives them to sports, takes them to their friends houses, plays chauffeur, cleans, cooks, goes to PTA meetings and then caters to your sorry whiney ass when you get home. To top it off after you eat, fart or burp you walk out the door and go out with your buddies.
You want sex? Go fuck yourself! I'm too tired.

 

[puddlemonkey]

I recognize this article from razorguns favorite website.

 

[ceo]

no apology necessary my dear.

ceo? can you and cindylou hug it out or am i going to have bust a cap in yo' ass?

psst...the post you quoted was meant for me.

we handled it already leto.

 

[nimbus]

the claims by psychologists that i've seen state that on average having children results in a slight decrease in happiness overall for couples. i don't know how they did their studies though

 

[ceo]

marriage and kids aren't for everyone.

 

[*ebony*]

Always saw myself with kids. Always planned on having a couple. Im total mommy material...or so I've been told.lol

Cant even imagine not being a parent one day. Just doesn't feel right, kinda empty and hollow.

 

[PICK3]

As I have not reproduced (that I'm aware of) I'd say surveying the peeps I know that have successfully spawned are split down the middle.

Approximately half believe their children will further their family legacy in a prideful, productive manner. While half are disappointed to varying degrees of what their children have become.

 

[-SD-]

As I have not reproduced (that I'm aware of) I'd say surveying the peeps I know that have successfully spawned are split down the middle.

Approximately half believe their children will further their family legacy in a prideful, productive manner. While half are disappointed to varying degrees of what their children have become.

of course, in order to reproduce, one must actually copulate with teh opposite sex.

 

[nangiggles]

there's a bit of everything, if you're a good parent your kids arent so bad, if u dont pay attention and let them do what they want due to laziness or guilt of not spending enough time with them they will walk all over you
Ive heard parenting/having a child is a blessing and a unique experience u dont understand until you have one, I personally dont want any, cant miss what I dont have/know
Oh and that last post is ignorant, vags are stretchy and go "back into place"

 

[stevesmi]

surprised no one on here with kids has mentioned the financial burden.

in the US, it costs on average 222K per child. and that doesn't count if you decide to send them to private school nor college costs (not like parents pay for their kids college anyway unless they are spoiled brats with poor grades, any idiot can get a scholarship with a decent SAT score).

and that price tag will go up from here with the price of housing, food, and retail goods set to rise over the next 5 years.

 

[bakemeacookie]

I don't mind having kids. My parents had kids hence why i'm here.

Not a big fan of having a wife though.

c

 

[IrightI]

surprised no one on here with kids has mentioned the financial burden.

in the US, it costs on average 222K per child. and that doesn't count if you decide to send them to private school nor college costs (not like parents pay for their kids college anyway unless they are spoiled brats with poor grades, any idiot can get a scholarship with a decent SAT score).

and that price tag will go up from here with the price of housing, food, and retail goods set to rise over the next 5 years.

maybe that's because we "with children" don't consider them a finantial burden in the least. To be a burden imo, you have to not want to pay it, taxs would be a burden, insurance to some degree would be a burden, if you follow me. Every family has a level of living within their means that they adjust to, sometimes that may mean not buying the Escalade, the 3500 sq. ft home, the vations that have become a tradition, you make sacrifices in some cases. Money needs to be put into savings, education costs are addressed with savings and 529 funds (tax free plans for anything that has to do with college), things like that. If you are a strugelling couple, and the basics of food and shelter are a consideration, maybe you SHOULD have thought aboout that prior to making the decision to have/raise a child.

My son is never burden, ever. Every expense that I have reguarding him pales in comparison to the love and joy he brings. He gives back a trillion fold for every penny I spend, it's not even a consideration....

 

[digimon7068]

there was a time in my life when the thought of having kids seemed ridiculous...then something changed, not sure what, it was just a number of subtle changes over a long period of time i suppose and, by the time i got married, i told my wife that i wanted to have 5 kids...and i was serious.

anyway, after a couple of years of marriage, we started trying to have kids...and we tried...and we tried...we tried a LOT...and it didn't work. we were living in pittsburgh at the time, thank God, UPMC McGee has an unbelievable fertility program...so we got tested, couldn't really find anything wrong with us...my count was up and down from time-to-time but, within the acceptable range...so, with no specific cause, we started out in the program at the entry level...mild dose of fertility drugs for both of us and timed sex (ugh)...did that for a few months, nothing happened...then we moved on to artificial insemination (abstain for a few days prior to ovulation, i go to the hospital and make a "deposit", they take my junk and spin it out then separate the strongest swimmers then they turkey-baster it into my wife's honey-hole)...did that for a few months, nothing happened...then we moved on to in vitro (test tube baby...my junk, her junk, in a petri dish, eggs get fertilized, or not, and then "grown" for a couple of days, and then they are rated based on the rate at which they are dividing, then the strong ones are selected and you decide whether to pick 2 or 3 to be inserted and the rest are frozen for other attempts)...we did that once, everything had to be regulated during the process, i was on clomid, and i had to inject my wife with different drugs at different times to regulate ovulation, etc so that it could be timed to the minute...at "go time", i make a deposit, and then her eggs are harvested and then into the petri dish it goes...that didn't work...sooooo, then we moved on to ICSI...with ICSI, the process is the same as in vitro except individual sperm are injected into individual eggs by an embryologist using a tiny little needle and pipette under a big-ass microscope.

we inserted three fertilized eggs, two took and we have 10 year old twin girls at the time that we did this, a lot of the procedures weren't covered by insurance so, we had to pay out-of-pocket...we spent at least $50 grand (thank God we were both making good money!!) and, it was the best money i ever spent...the days, weeks, months, years since then have been the best and happiest of my life...my wife is the best mom i have ever seen and my kids are wonderful and i think i'm a pretty ok dad...do they challenge you and push your buttons?? YES! smart kids are like that...but, my wife is just so good at molding them into little citizens.

oh and, two days before my 41st birthday my son was born...he was au natural...after the girls, we never really stopped "trying" but after a while, you just kinda write it off...ain't gonna happen...then, one day i got a phone call at work (like everyone else does) and she said "i think i'm pregnant" and i just couldn't believe it...i said "how do you know?" and she says "well, i took three of those ept's and they are all positive"...that was one of the coolest experiences of my life...to have a kid like everyone else does...and to get that phone call at work like everyone else does.

anyway, when my son came along, i was excited...i hadn't really thought about having a son...i suppose every guy wants one but, after several years with a house full of chicks, i just didn't think about it...anyway, he came along and filled a hole in my life that i didn't even know was there until the hole was gone.

i could go on and on but i won't.

i will say this, though...when we were having problems getting pregnant, i was pissed off...a lot...all around me, people were having kids left and right and a lot of them didn't even want or deserve them and my wife and i couldn't have one to save our lives...and then we went through all that medical stuff and spent a bunch of money and it just seemed like a curse...but, honestly?? looking back, it was a blessing...everyone should have to "work for it" a little, then maybe they wouldn't take things so much for granted...and maybe they'd look at their kids every morning (like i do) and realize what a blessing and what a miracle they are...i kinda feel sorry for people that didn't have to struggle a little bit...especially those ones that take their children for granted...shame on them.

PS: we stopped at 3!! at our age, that was enough and we did't wanna push the envelope with regard to health issues (both mother and child) that can arise after the mid-30's.

 

[stilleto]

psst...the post you quoted was meant for me.

we handled it already leto.

oh. well. as long as i'm not needed, i'm going to go play outside.

 

[75th]

I absolutely love being a father and I wouldn't change it for anything. My son is my world. I don't see how anyone could say that being a parent is overrated.

stfu

 

[ricco561]

of course, in order to reproduce, one must actually copulate with teh opposite sex.

So, I assume he's a top and just doesn't understand this whole reproductive thing.

 

[ceo]

surprised no one on here with kids has mentioned the financial burden.

in the US, it costs on average 222K per child. and that doesn't count if you decide to send them to private school nor college costs (not like parents pay for their kids college anyway unless they are spoiled brats with poor grades, any idiot can get a scholarship with a decent SAT score).

and that price tag will go up from here with the price of housing, food, and retail goods set to rise over the next 5 years.

what about it? You either know about it going in to the deal or you'll soon find out.

Everything in life is a financial burden. Things cost money. If you're not paying for your things, someone else is. Look at all the people on welfare that we're already supporting. At least with a kid I get to spend my money on them how I see fit.

 

[stevesmi]

what about it? You either know about it going in to the deal or you'll soon find out.

Everything in life is a financial burden. Things cost money. If you're not paying for your things, someone else is. Look at all the people on welfare that we're already supporting. At least with a kid I get to spend my money on them how I see fit.

during the great depression people would have kids even though they were starving cause they needed the kids to grow up to help them on the farm grow crops and help with chores etc.

do today's kids do that?

 

[ceo]

during the great depression people would have kids even though they were starving cause they needed the kids to grow up to help them on the farm grow crops and help with chores etc.

do today's kids do that?

I would assume so, if they had to, but there aren't as many farms today. Poor people tend to have a lot of kids though. It's always been that way.

 

[nangiggles]

it's not like you pay $220k up front when they're born....

 

[ceo]

IrightI and digi, both made great points. I don't see my son as a burden in any sort of way at all.

 

[IrightI]

I would assume so, if they had to, but there aren't as many farms today. Poor people tend to have a lot of kids though. It's always been that way.

cultural differences, it's not looked down on to have children out of wedlock. And last but not least, the gubment pays $$ per kid. The chances of the kids seeing the money is miniscule. As long as g-mom will take care of them, they're gonna keep giving themselves a raise.