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Anybody with commitment issues here?

princesa

princesa

Elite Mentor
Platinum
Apparently I have commitment issues :rolleyes: according to one of my friends, we recently reconnected. Btw, nothing happened we are just friends...

This is news to me, I had no idea. For example, we were talking about food and I said 'MAYBE I'll make it for you one day'. I don't like to make plans unless I know for sure..There is no such thing as a sure thing, right?! Right! :) He says that I use the word 'maybe' quiet often and that's usually a commitment phobia type of thing..i don't know wtf..

I don't think that I have commitment issues, I'm just cautious. I think I overdo it sometimes. Anyhow, I keep thinking about what he said and if there is any truth to that :confused:
 
ceo said:
He's cheating on you.
Click to expand...

lolol

He is a cheater for sure.


We used to work together. One night at a xmas party we made out, I believe that I was drugged because I don't remember most of it and I only had one drink. So, we were making out for over an hr on 74th and columbus on a snow night..like who does that? Not me.

Anyhow, he just came out of a 7yr relationship. Not surprised they broke up, he would cheat on this girl left and right. Not what I'm looking for.
 
princesa said:
If I did that, I feel that I'd be setting myself up for failure. If I don't give too much of myself than I wouldn't lose anything (get hurt?)
makes sense?
Click to expand...

I meant in life, although I've done that in established relationships once or twice (ie promise more than I can give or end up giving )

Anyways, that whole shell mentality will lead you nowhere. It's like business people that are afraid to take risks. Sure they need to be calculated, but you can't just shut everything down.

I have the shell problem too, but for the most part I don't really give a shit enough about most people to let them in. The people that know me, know me.
 
Do you have serious trust issues with men? Have you ever been truly happy and secure in a relationship? How did that end?
 
calveless wonder said:
I meant in life, although I've done that in established relationships once or twice (ie promise more than I can give or end up giving )

Anyways, that whole shell mentality will lead you nowhere. It's like business people that are afraid to take risks. Sure they need to be calculated, but you can't just shut everything down.

I have the shell problem too, but for the most part I don't really give a shit enough about most people to let them in. The people that know me, know me.
Click to expand...


Exactly!

Men and relationships haven't been a priority for quiet some time now. When you are used to certain ways it gets harder to let people in. ( I think you can relate here)
I'd consider it only if I was WOW'd- anything less it's not worth the time. When was the last time you were WOW'd? :) But, I'm trying to keep an open mind and give people a chance.
 
jiggagold said:
Every girl who gets drunk and fondles men blames it on the roofie. Typical breezy statement.
Click to expand...




1. I'm not your Every Girl okay? get that straight

2. I'm telling you I was drugged. It wasn't my first time drinking alcohol, pretty sure I know the difference.

3. If I wanted to make out with someone, I would do it/say it. Wouldn't be ashamed of it and certainly wouldn't use the alcohol excuse.

mkay :artist:
 
you did use it as an excuse, i doubt you were drugged for a make out session, its obvious you have a connection with this dude and are afraid of committing to him
 
BBR100 said:
that sounds like a fear of commitment to me.
Click to expand...

And I think she would respond and say that would be her being cautious which I totally understand. I know some really nice and pretty girls that are mutual friends with myself and my GF I'd love to hook up with my friends, but I don't know ONE guy that is a slam dunk good guy that wouldn't fuck them over. (that is good looking) At the same time maybe she is going after the wrong kind of guy and maybe her "cautious" attitude turns away some great guys as well.
 
princesa said:
Apparently I have commitment issues :rolleyes: according to one of my friends, we recently reconnected. Btw, nothing happened we are just friends...

This is news to me, I had no idea. For example, we were talking about food and I said 'MAYBE I'll make it for you one day'. I don't like to make plans unless I know for sure..There is no such thing as a sure thing, right?! Right! :) He says that I use the word 'maybe' quiet often and that's usually a commitment phobia type of thing..i don't know wtf..

I don't think that I have commitment issues, I'm just cautious. I think I overdo it sometimes. Anyhow, I keep thinking about what he said and if there is any truth to that :confused:
Click to expand...

Consider the source.
If guy just cheated on his gf all the time, and now they're not together, obviously he is the one with commitment issues- he's just projecting onto you to make himself feel better.
 
trex74 said:
Consider the source.
If guy just cheated on his gf all the time, and now they're not together, obviously he is the one with commitment issues- he's just projecting onto you to make himself feel better.
Click to expand...

This sounds alot closer to the truth to me.

And besides Princesa, a certain amount of caution is wise. For reasons you know all too well I'd suspect. For your own edification, perhaps whatever relationships behind you that helped form the extra caution need to be re-examined. Perhaps there is still some unresolved/unhealed wounds there not allowing to move forward.

Loving someone is one thing. Trusting them is another.
 
princesa said:
Apparently I have commitment issues :rolleyes: according to one of my friends, we recently reconnected. Btw, nothing happened we are just friends...

This is news to me, I had no idea. For example, we were talking about food and I said 'MAYBE I'll make it for you one day'. I don't like to make plans unless I know for sure..There is no such thing as a sure thing, right?! Right! :) He says that I use the word 'maybe' quiet often and that's usually a commitment phobia type of thing..i don't know wtf..

I don't think that I have commitment issues, I'm just cautious. I think I overdo it sometimes. Anyhow, I keep thinking about what he said and if there is any truth to that :confused:
Click to expand...

i have condom issues, i cant maintain an erection if there is a condom within 20 feet of me

dunno if thats the same thing though, maybe
 
I say I don't have commitment issues but one of my best friends likes to tell me I do because I always choose men with commitment issues.

Sooo, I don't know if I do or not, but I'm steering clear of relationships unless there's some type of wow factor kinda like princesa was talking about.
 
I have commitment issues but not due to lack but as someone else mentioned I commit to too many things and then dont follow through, forget, etc.
 
AFeedz said:
I say I don't have commitment issues but one of my best friends likes to tell me I do because I always choose men with commitment issues.

Sooo, I don't know if I do or not, but I'm steering clear of relationships unless there's some type of wow factor kinda like princesa was talking about.
Click to expand...

What about just fuckin? You cool with that?

:D
 
superdave said:
Youve committed to that stellar avatar

I see no committment issues
Click to expand...

that's kinda the point...i find a place where i'm happy/comfortable/fulfilled/excited/etc and i tend to stay there...i'm a total underachiever compared to the rest of you :lmao:





























ps: obviously i'm being a wiseass :)
 
lartinos said:
Do you have serious trust issues with men? Have you ever been truly happy and secure in a relationship? How did that end?
Click to expand...

Damn! We are reaching pretty deep here lol


I can't say that I have trust issues because I do give everyone the benefit of the doubt. But, once I catch someone in a lie it's over..I can't trust them, no matter who they are. I don't know, it could be my flaw.

As far as my past relationships...There is no point in going back and trying to examine/disect everything, pretty sure I've made plenty of mistakes. I think that I've grown a lot since and I'm pretty comfortable and secure in my own skin.
 
princesa said:
Damn! We are reaching pretty deep here lol


I can't say that I have trust issues because I do give everyone the benefit of the doubt. But, once I catch someone in a lie it's over..I can't trust them, no matter who they are. I don't know, it could be my flaw.

As far as my past relationships...There is no point in going back and trying to examine/disect everything, pretty sure I've made plenty of mistakes. I think that I've grown a lot since and I'm pretty comfortable and secure in my own skin.
Click to expand...

Same, but I don't think that's a flaw. If someone betrays my trust, there's no reason to trust them and it's no one's fault but their own, not a flaw of mine.
 
trex74 said:
Consider the source.
If guy just cheated on his gf all the time, and now they're not together, obviously he is the one with commitment issues- he's just projecting onto you to make himself feel better.
Click to expand...


Good point.
 
princesa said:
Damn! We are reaching pretty deep here lol


I can't say that I have trust issues because I do give everyone the benefit of the doubt. But, once I catch someone in a lie it's over..I can't trust them, no matter who they are. I don't know, it could be my flaw.

As far as my past relationships...There is no point in going back and trying to examine/disect everything, pretty sure I've made plenty of mistakes. I think that I've grown a lot since and I'm pretty comfortable and secure in my own skin.
Click to expand...

We could go deeper, what was your parents relationship like. Does it give you a certain view of how a relationship should or shouldn't be. In my case shouldn't be, I am glad to find someone who comes from a family that both parents have stayed together for 25 years though. For some reason it makes me feel like that is what she is used to and really wants.
 
IMHO, I think girls give it up too fast to too many guys. Then they figure all guys just want to get down there pants, and ditch them. But hey, guys are thinking, why buy the cow when I get the milk for free, hahahaha
 
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