What do you bring to the table?

[GoldenDelicious]

there are a lot of issues in this post, and so im going to chop it up. hopefully after thinking about it for a bit, youll snap out of the coma youve been living in for the past 30 odd years (no offense)

So I found myself thinking about this the past few days as I continue to get pressure from my brother and sister in law about settling down. Not so much about myself, as I'm perfect , but rather the women I've dated the past 6 or 7 years.

a really important thing to ask yourself is WHY your sister/bro are pressuring you. do they really care about your happiness, or are they jsut a bit worried about you and just want you to do whatever society has taught you (however irrational) so that youre *safe* ...yet not neccessarily happy - so taht their worry goes away? (its usually a mix of both, but still, its an important idea for your autonomy)

I went through them one by one and asked myself what would each girl bring to the table in a long term relationship? It seems like the same scenario time and time again. Maybe its the women I've associated myself with, but debt and mental instability came up repeatedly. And kids too, most women my age have a couple kids.

it seems to me that youre a classic beta male provider/nurturer figure, and hence, you attract women who want a protector/provider. a logical extension of that is that the women who need the most protection/nurturing are the ones who are going to be most drawn to a man like that.

Most of my friends refer to these women as DG (damaged goods), but personally I don't mind rug rats as long as mom can keep them under control.

waht your friends think is irrelevent. the question you should ask yourself is, if you had teh choice, what would YOU choose - a woman who was single, without kids, without debt etc or a woman like the ones yours describing? do you truly have no preference, or is this "i dont mind" stuff jsut a story youre telling yourself, to convince yourself that you "really dont mind" ...when you do

Am I suppose to be looking for anything in particular here?

yeah. youre meant to be looking for this thing called "whatever YOU fucking want"

Is it wrong to view this in dollars and cents?

i wouldnt be asking if it was wrong, id be asking if it was clever, or logical. if you wrote up a list of all the attributes of a woman that YOU personally liked/wanted, how high on the list would "dollars and cents" stuff be? then the next question is - if there are many other important attributes...why are you focussing so hard on the financials? yorue looking for a simple solution to a complex problem

Society tells us men to be good providers, which I can do, but when I'm brought up to see things in business terms its hard to want to adopt a bunch of dept I had nothing to do with.

SOME parts of society tell men to be good providers. religion tells you that, and politicians tell you that, and your family tells you that, because for the most part, we're raised by women (few of whom know how to train an alpha male) and also, because the "provider/nurterer" role is SAFE. no one fears beta males. theyre benign by definition. they dont upset the status quo.

are you happy with this place in society? are you happy being treated this way by women (which at worst is being viewed as a meal ticket)?. is this what you would have CHOSEN for yourself if all other options were on the table?

Where is the benefit to finding someone longterm?

peopel generally benefit from being in a relationship. a little social interaction everyday is neccessary for good health. company keeps you in a good mood etc.

The only things I can see myself needing are better eating habits and a cleaner house. There are areas in my house I haven't dusted since '04. I just swept the kitchen and hardwoods yesterday and found some interesting things hiding in corners and behind appliances. And my eating habits, those seems to be worse when I am dating. Is it just me or when you guys date are you taking her out to restaurants 3-4 times a week? Do women even know how to cook now days, or is it just not as important as it use to be?

why is it a womans place to cook? the traditional "man provides, woman nurtures" model is dying. women are earning as much as men, so it follows then, that men whould be assuming more traditionally female roles (cooking, cleaning).

maybe the solution to your problem is to simply...stop being a lazy bastard, have some personal cleanliness standards, and do some cleaning by yourself.

As for the rest of you, what the hell do you bring to the table? What makes you a good choice as a mate?

me? im a terrible choice as a mate (at the moment), but:

im intelligent
im handsome
i have good social status (and rising)
i am very aware socially and hence a great social viber
i have a good sense of humour (which adds to my social compatibility)
im healthy

...and all that other provider stuff but its offset by the fact that i have a LOT of sexual choce at the moment, and so its risky for girls to be in relationships with me, because i can quite happily give them the boot and find a replacement in about...half a day.

so yah. some stuff to think about.

 

[puddlemonkey]

youre meant to be looking for this thing called "whatever YOU fucking want"

If thats the case I think I'm good sleeping with miscellaneous women and then when I get too old to score anymore I'll just get hookers.

What I want in a woman I don't think exists.

parts of society tell men to be good providers. religion tells you that, and politicians tell you that, and your family tells you that, because for the most part, we're raised by women

Them scandalous bishes!

why is it a womans place to cook?

Are you trying to get me killed? I never said that. At least not so bluntly. lol

the traditional "man provides, woman nurtures" model is dying. women are earning as much as men, so it follows then, that men whould be assuming more traditionally female roles (cooking, cleaning).

Thats all fine and dandy, but many women still expect the guy to fix the cars, mow the lawn, take out the trash, etc. Why should it be a one way street?

maybe the solution to your problem is to simply...stop being a lazy bastard, have some personal cleanliness standards, and do some cleaning by yourself.

Lazy? I own a 5 bedroom house on a acre of land. The simple fact that the house is still standing makes me think I'm doing pretty well! And I have to look after my rental too. I've been called a lot of things but never lazy! I'm a busy boy

 

[Pamela]

I try to put myself in the other persons shoes and think of how it would make them feel!

 

[puddlemonkey]

I try to put myself in the other persons shoes and think of how it would make them feel!

 

[GoldenDelicious]

If thats the case I think I'm good sleeping with miscellaneous women and then when I get too old to score anymore I'll just get hookers.

if thats what you want, then do it! (i know a lot of men who do this. usually they find a lady whose company they like at the same time, and have a loose/open relationship (ie a friendship taht turns into a sexship) but this way of doing stuff is viable

What I want in a woman I don't think exists.

write a list down of what you want, then get a woman that ticks off as many of those attributes as possible.

Them scandalous bishes!

therye not scandalous, theyre jsut women

Are you trying to get me killed? I never said that. At least not so bluntly. lol

who is going to kill you? some chick who doesnt like the idea that she has to reciprocate? if *im* using 90% of my time and effort to support a girl, then i want *her* to use 90% of her time to support me equally. if its *my* place to work and bring home the bacon, then its *her* place to shut up, cook, keep the house clean, and otherwise make both of our lives better

reciprocation is the glue that holds relationships together. if people dont reciprocate, relationships get very unhealthy. if a girl is too stupid, or brainwashed by femenism, or whatever bullshit that she doesnt understand this simple idea, then she has no business being in a relationship.

Thats all fine and dandy, but many women still expect the guy to fix the cars, mow the lawn, take out the trash, etc. Why should it be a one way street?

unless these things are part of your unspoken reciprocal relationship, then who gives a shit what they expect.

in todays society, women can get a job every bit as high paying as a man, and therefore, pay other people to do those things for them. car broken? take it to the mechanic. lawn need mowing? call a gardener. trash heavy? use smaller trashbags.

you get what you give, and tahts that.

Lazy? I own a 5 bedroom house on a acre of land. The simple fact that the house is still standing makes me think I'm doing pretty well! And I have to look after my rental too. I've been called a lot of things but never lazy! I'm a busy boy

youre one guy living in a house. doesnt matter how big the place is, its still only one persons mess.

 

[puddlemonkey]

youre one guy living in a house. doesnt matter how big the place is, its still only one persons mess.

I'm more than happy to invite you to do my acre of yard work if you'd like. Until you own a large lot you cannot comment on the subject!

 

[GoldenDelicious]

buy a goat. never mow anythign again.

 

[puddlemonkey]

buy a goat. never mow anythign again.

Funny you mention that. My father stopped by my house one day while I was at work and left a section of the classifieds on my door. He circled an ad that said, "free goat". I actually thought about it lol.

 

[FriendlyCanadian]

I bring an immense amount of awesomeness to any table

 

[puddlemonkey]

I bring an immense amount of awesomeness to any table

When are you gonna show us some of that awesomeness?