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Stps to take for 50/50 custody

the.gladiator1987

the.gladiator1987

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Alright guys I know the baby might not be mine and im waiting for the DNA test after he is born to see if Im the dad or not, BUT I wanna start preparing and doing everything I can for when she takes me to court. Like have a plan for the judge to see how Im gonna take care of him, pay for him, etc.

I KNOW that my ex is gonna try and fuck me over. She is gonna try and get every penny out of me I just know it. Her mom has been on welfare her whole life and i can tell my ex is gonna be the same way its pathetic and disgustingshes like a disgusting pig expect shes skinny

So I was wondering what the judge would want to see if he were to give me 50/50? And what does he not care about? Here is what i would think would be good for me

-going to school
-days i go to school, my parents are free to babysit
-I have 2 jobs at night, when my parents can also babysit
-Ill have some money in my savings
-Ill get 10 letters of reference

I can tell that my ex wil be throwing daggers my way. Saying i abused her, i didnt care about her when she was pregnant, blah blah blah. I want to be the one that just comes with a plan for the baby, has money for him, and is just the one staying positive and thinking about the baby and NOT bringing up anything negative about my ex.

She is about to get her car repo'd, she hasnt had a job since before she got pregnant, she hasnt gone to school in a year, and Im pretty sure it is gonna stay that way. Does that make her look bad at all? I just wanna do everything I can to get 50/50 or even 60/40. Shes a slob and if i go in there with a plan for the baby and financial support would that give me a better chance?

Im gonna talk to family law on monday but if anyone has experience in this id appreciate the comments. I know you guys think i dont listen to u guys but i really do and I come to EF first when i have a question or a problem
 
Troll thread. Dont take the bait, people.
 
Ask yourself an honest question:

Do you really want to help raise this child and be a proper Father or are you just trying to get out of paying her child support?
 
billfred said:
Ask yourself an honest question:

Do you really want to help raise this child and be a proper Father or are you just trying to get out of paying her child support?
Click to expand...


Yes I wanna be a part of this childs life as much as I can bro. I dont care about child support because even if I get 50/50 i still make more, and in california ill have to still pay child support to even out the incomes
 
Whatever it takes. The kid cums first ... then the two dipshits that made him. Going to be sacrifices in your future. Won't be able to buy the latest version of x-box every time one is released.


read in between the lines: "you're fucked, buddy!"
 
PICK3 said:
impossible request, this is a Glad thread ... like a moth to a lightbulb
Click to expand...


I'm actually over it...but maybe because I was figuring out this week exactly how much income this household loses to taxes (fed, state and local), medicare, insurance, tuition for schools (ours and kids)..and not lost but not immediately part of budget..retirement accounts

and knowing someone that got nailed (finally!) for section 8 fraud thats been bilking the system for as long as I can remember

suddenly I decided I don't want to pay for someones kid that doesn't stand a chance and think mandatory government sponsored sterilization is a good idea
 
your chances of 50/50 are slim to none get used to one night during teh week and every other weekend. where your going is a womans world. and don't pay till your ordered by the court. i knew someone who paid for nearly 4 years with reciepts then his ex took him to court and he had to pay from the day the baby was born the court considered the 4 years of payments as a "gift".

But you can buy things that are necessary like food, diapers, formula, clothes. just don't give her any cash till you have to.
 
DannoMight said:
your chances of 50/50 are slim to none get used to one night during teh week and every other weekend. where your going is a womans world. and don't pay till your ordered by the court. i knew someone who paid for nearly 4 years with reciepts then his ex took him to court and he had to pay from the day the baby was born the court considered the 4 years of payments as a "gift".

But you can buy things that are necessary like food, diapers, formula, clothes. just don't give her any cash till you have to.
Click to expand...


actually the best way I've seen to deal with this is to set aside what your presume the child support will be into a savings account thats at the ready to be withdrawn for if they backdate


very rarely does a court go back to birth...but they will go back to the date the motion was filed

my husband got nailed to pay back his ex-skanks fricken welfare though...that was a fun bill
 
the.gladiator1987 said:
why cant I get 50/50? why are the chances slim to none? she hasnt had a job in the past year, she doesnt make her car payments, shes on food stamps

i go to college, work and have savings.

So what would be the reason a judge would give 50/50 custody to both parents? What would I need to have him decide i can get 50/50
Click to expand...


can you breastfeed? you have an idea what kangaroo care is??
have you taken an infant care class anywhere yet??


the court is just going to assume mom is the better parent for a small child

I have true shared custody with one of my kids...but only because thats what we agreed to and pretty much demanded

we also get along exceptionally well
 
shirlene29 said:
can you breastfeed? you have an idea what kangaroo care is??
have you taken an infant care class anywhere yet??


the court is just going to assume mom is the better parent for a small child

I have true shared custody with one of my kids...but only because thats what we agreed to and pretty much demanded

we also get along exceptionally well
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no i cant breastfeed but she can fuckin put that shit in bottles and give them to me every other week

Ill take infant classes if that will make me look better and get me more prepared. Thats bullshit that she is a betterp arent, no job, no college, shes on welfare, and shes been goin to the bar every week!!! fuck this bullshit
 
the.gladiator1987 said:
no i cant breastfeed but she can fuckin put that shit in bottles and give them to me every other week

Ill take infant classes if that will make me look better and get me more prepared. Thats bullshit that she is a betterp arent, no job, no college, shes on welfare, and shes been goin to the bar every week!!! fuck this bullshit
Click to expand...


right...and you've looked into this enough to know that for the first month minimum the baby gets no bottles right? some would argue not even a pacifier

no job= 100% time with the baby
you're saying..well I've got it covered..my parents will babysit (which btw never works out long term) which isn't the same as you taking care of a kid
no college...I mean, did you graduate? what degree do you have that you're putting to meaningful use?

you look into a four door car yet? car seat safety ratings?
child education trust?
you know what a waiting list generally looks like for preschool?
you consider cord blood banking? know what to put on a diaper rash? aware that some babies are allergic to some brands of diapers?? tylenol v motrin for fevers???
hell...health insurance for the baby????

tuition at some of the schools I posted in another thread costs more than you make in a year

the only way you're gaining custody is if she's a fuck up to the kid...not just at life...thank you for playing
the only way youre getting shared custody is if she agrees to it
 
Seems really unlikely Glad. You are in for a real shitstorm with this one. You will love your child and hopefully it helps you mature more quickly.
 
50/50 custody is basically out of the equasion for you. on the bright side of CS payments they will go by a % of what you make to determine what you pay.

like shirl said the mom has to be a real fuckup to lose custody. the ball is in her court as of now. the mom would have to be caught red handed with drugs or fail several drug tests to lose custody.
 
PICK3 said:
Glad

When are you going to find out if you sired this Satan spawn?
Click to expand...

April 2nd

shirlene29 said:
right...and you've looked into this enough to know that for the first month minimum the baby gets no bottles right? some would argue not even a pacifier


no job= 100% time with the baby

you're saying..well I've got it covered..my parents will babysit (which btw never works out long term) which isn't the same as you taking care of a kid
no college...I mean, did you graduate? what degree do you have that you're putting to meaningful use?

you look into a four door car yet? car seat safety ratings?
child education trust?
you know what a waiting list generally looks like for preschool?
you consider cord blood banking? know what to put on a diaper rash? aware that some babies are allergic to some brands of diapers?? tylenol v motrin for fevers???
hell...health insurance for the baby????

tuition at some of the schools I posted in another thread costs more than you make in a year

the only way you're gaining custody is if she's a fuck up to the kid...not just at life...thank you for playing
the only way youre getting shared custody is if she agrees to it
Click to expand...

ok well i wouldnt expect to have him the first month or even 3-6 months. Not having a job equals more time with the baby? where does the income come from then to support him?

I am a semester away from getting an AA. I havent looked into a 4 door car but I should you are right. But maybe the judge will see that I have put time into all this instead of going to court unprepared..i WILL have a child education trust but how am i supposed to do all this when i dont even know its mine yet lol the judge has got to look at that too. Its not my fault i dont know if im the father, its her fault. lol u make it seem like pre school is like going to grad school or something, im sure my kid can get into pre school no problem. idk what cord blood banking is i should check it out, and rashes/baby info i will get it all researched in the next 10 weeks!

I have health insurance through chili's.

maybe shell just have to agree to it....damnit


lartinos said:
Seems really unlikely Glad. You are in for a real shitstorm with this one. You will love your child and hopefully it helps you mature more quickly.
Click to expand...

Thanks bro, this shit sucks for real. I jus hope theres a small chance that I can get 50/50. I dont want my kid growing up with her more than he has to anyway. You think it would benefit me in court to say that she cheated, is going to bars while she is pregnant, and isnt making car payments? and hasnt had a job in a year?

DannoMight said:
50/50 custody is basically out of the equasion for you. on the bright side of CS payments they will go by a % of what you make to determine what you pay.

like shirl said the mom has to be a real fuckup to lose custody. the ball is in her court as of now. the mom would have to be caught red handed with drugs or fail several drug tests to lose custody.
Click to expand...


maybe ill roofie her or put some coke in her drink and then drug test her
 
shirlene29 said:
right...and you've looked into this enough to know that for the first month minimum the baby gets no bottles right? some would argue not even a pacifier
Click to expand...
lol@ that theory


shirlene29 said:
you're saying..well I've got it covered..my parents will babysit (which btw never works out long term) which isn't the same as you taking care of a kid
Click to expand...
that's a ridiculous statement


shirlene29 said:
you know what a waiting list generally looks like for preschool?
Click to expand...
We're talking about a newborn, not a 3y/o

shirlene29 said:
you consider cord blood banking?
Click to expand...
WTF does that have to do with custody!!!!!!!!!


shirlene29 said:
tuition at some of the schools I posted in another thread costs more than you make in a year
Click to expand...
lol@ bringing up college costs in a custody dispute for a newborn
 
the.gladiator1987 said:
no i cant breastfeed but she can fuckin put that shit in bottles and give them to me every other week

Ill take infant classes if that will make me look better and get me more prepared. Thats bullshit that she is a betterp arent, no job, no college, shes on welfare, and shes been goin to the bar every week!!! fuck this bullshit
Click to expand...

Further proof that Idiocracy is going to end up being a historical documentary like Nostradomas or something extremely prophatic.
 
why april 2nd? is that when the kid is gonna be born?????

no way to get that shit faster?

i would figure out a way to get that shit asap. if it's not yours, you won't have to think about any of this shit.
 
the.gladiator1987 said:
maybe ill roofie her or put some coke in her drink and then drug test her
Click to expand...

For the sake of this poor girl and her kid, if anyone knows her (via FB for instance) they should really point her to Glad's threads on here, and she should in turn provide them to the judge.
 
honestly bro, if i were you, i'd get a DNA test as soon as possible.

if she's going to bars during pregnancy, get some fucking proof....

i wish you the best bro, but just keep making that $$$$$ and finish up a degree

if the kid turns out as yours, take care of him first. even before yourself.


I actually heard in the past that some women actually go out looking for guys with good genetics and purposely get impregnated by them without them knowing, then rape their wallet for all they can (happened to a good friend of my dads).

i hope this wasn't the case
 
the.gladiator1987 said:
ok well i wouldnt expect to have him the first month or even 3-6 months. Not having a job equals more time with the baby? where does the income come from then to support him?
Click to expand...

That's where YOU come into the picture!

If the baby tests-out to be yours, think of yourself as a wallet that talks for the next 18 years.

HTH
 
ortiz34 said:
lol@ that theory



that's a ridiculous statement



We're talking about a newborn, not a 3y/o

WTF does that have to do with custody!!!!!!!!!


lol@ bringing up college costs in a custody dispute for a newborn
Click to expand...


trusts funds were brought up in my divorce and custody issues
pre-school has a roughly 18 month waiting list ...well non-government subsidized shitholes anyway.
he has sworn avidavits his parents are going to babysit for free until the kid starts the first grade ?? otherwise...theyll want to factor in childcare costs into the $$$ equation...which he hasn't even looked into and will probably shit his pants when he finds out how much daycare costs
and yeah, I know he doesn't give one shit about breastfeeding (80% mothers leave the hospital breastfeeding these days, or did you not get the memo) or cord blood banking....I was trying to make a point he hasn't even bothered to find out what goes into taking care of a new baby...or toddler..etc etc.

My point was...a judge would want to know what a fathers plan was if they were going to force a split custody arrangement...and will want to see strong communication between the parents
he needs a plan a., b., c. to show to a court..whether the kid is his or not.
glad won't even get a say in naming the kid let alone any of the above...perhaps the absurdity was over your head.


personally...I think its very trollish..but whatev...I finished my homework...I don't have anything better to do
 
iggy said:
honestly bro, if i were you, i'd get a DNA test as soon as possible.

if she's going to bars during pregnancy, get some fucking proof....

i wish you the best bro, but just keep making that $$$$$ and finish up a degree

if the kid turns out as yours, take care of him first. even before yourself.


I actually heard in the past that some women actually go out looking for guys with good genetics and purposely get impregnated by them without them knowing, then rape their wallet for all they can (happened to a good friend of my dads).

i hope this wasn't the case
Click to expand...


see that fuckin sucks bro, i can tell that she half wanted a kid with me because im athletic and sexy

How do i get proof shes at the bar? Should i record her there? lol or just have witnesses?
 
shirlene29 said:
trusts funds were brought up in my divorce and custody issues
pre-school has a roughly 18 month waiting list ...well non-government subsidized shitholes anyway.
he has sworn avidavits his parents are going to babysit for free until the kid starts the first grade ?? otherwise...theyll want to factor in childcare costs into the $$$ equation...which he hasn't even looked into and will probably shit his pants when he finds out how much daycare costs
and yeah, I know he doesn't give one shit about breastfeeding (80% mothers leave the hospital breastfeeding these days, or did you not get the memo) or cord blood banking....I was trying to make a point he hasn't even bothered to find out what goes into taking care of a new baby...or toddler..etc etc.

My point was...a judge would want to know what a fathers plan was if they were going to force a split custody arrangement...and will want to see strong communication between the parents
he needs a plan a., b., c. to show to a court..whether the kid is his or not.
glad won't even get a say in naming the kid let alone any of the above...perhaps the absurdity was over your head.


personally...I think its very trollish..but whatev...I finished my homework...I don't have anything better to do
Click to expand...

how is this trollish?

And I WILL get my last name even if she doesnt want the kid to have my last name, that I know 100% sure. But yea she gets to name him, at first she was gonna name him after me and make him a jr. but i dont think thats happening now....

I will have a Primerica mutual fund set up for him before he is born.

I wont need daycare, my parents could have sworn avidavits they can babysit when im not there, they are self employed. My step mom works at home. And money cant be an issue, I make and have more than the mother.

And I know I need a plan a,b,c.....thats why i came here. I honestly believe that my ex wont have any idea that I am doing this, which imo will help me in court when i have a whole stack of papers with a plan for the baby, my schedule and the babys, income papers, and letters of reference. And my ex wont have SHIT, shell just be in court trying to dog me and make me look bad, and ill look professional and supportive of only the babies needs. I think I have a chance
 
she'll get welfare/food card/wic the kid will get medicaid for the medical purposes and you'll be footing a percent of your wages to her (around 25% possibly that will be her income. what sucks is that you hav to pay for the paternity test even if your not the faja. personally i'd her on maury. find out the real way. plus get a trip to new york.

maybe the kid will be born on april 1 and the april fools joke will be.....
 
the.gladiator1987 said:
how is this trollish?

And I WILL get my last name even if she doesnt want the kid to have my last name, that I know 100% sure. But yea she gets to name him, at first she was gonna name him after me and make him a jr. but i dont think thats happening now....

I will have a Primerica mutual fund set up for him before he is born.

I wont need daycare, my parents could have sworn avidavits they can babysit when im not there, they are self employed. My step mom works at home. And money cant be an issue, I make and have more than the mother.

And I know I need a plan a,b,c.....thats why i came here. I honestly believe that my ex wont have any idea that I am doing this, which imo will help me in court when i have a whole stack of papers with a plan for the baby, my schedule and the babys, income papers, and letters of reference. And my ex wont have SHIT, shell just be in court trying to dog me and make me look bad, and ill look professional and supportive of only the babies needs. I think I have a chance
Click to expand...

no you won't. if she doesn't want you in the delivery room or in the hospital you won't have a chance to fill out the form and will not have a choice in the matter.
 
the.gladiator1987 said:
lol that is so gay. It should be a priority for her to get a job, because im not a dead beat dad like most ppl in my situation are.

btw what does HTH mean
Click to expand...

HTH = Hope this helps

Here's how the system is setup. She won't work and you will. That means she'll get the vast majority of the parenting time. That in turn means she'll get more child support. And *that* means you get to work more, which will give you even less time with the kid. So once you've taken-on another job and are working evenings and weekends, she'll run around bitching to all her friends about how you never spend time with the kid. But that won't be the worst part. The worst part will be the unemployed guy living with her who uses some of your child support payments for beer and cigarettes (oh, and the latest X-box games as well).

HTH!
 
mrplunkey said:
The worst part will be the unemployed guy living with her who uses some of your child support payments for beer and cigarettes (oh, and the latest X-box games as well).
Click to expand...

Funny thing is that this hypothetical guy and glad would probably get along great under different circumstances.

Also, please video the hearing and post it on here.
 
DannoMight said:
she'll get welfare/food card/wic the kid will get medicaid for the medical purposes and you'll be footing a percent of your wages to her (around 25% possibly that will be her income. what sucks is that you hav to pay for the paternity test even if your not the faja. personally i'd her on maury. find out the real way. plus get a trip to new york.

maybe the kid will be born on april 1 and the april fools joke will be.....
Click to expand...


Could I really go to Maury? How would I even begin to try ad do hat?

lol i hope this is all a big joke nro, thatd be the sweetest thing to ever happen in my awesome life. It sucks how she can be such a slob and get all these benefits. her mother has always been on wic/welfare/food stamps and i can see how my ex is gonna be just like her. She also sleeps around and one time even had sex with a friend just to pay rent, god im so gld im out. Its almost worth the child support payments every month to be out ofthat bullshit
 
DannoMight said:
no you won't. if she doesn't want you in the delivery room or in the hospital you won't have a chance to fill out the form and will not have a choice in the matter.
Click to expand...


My sister put her last name on the birth cert, the father fought for it and won instantly. Because he was the father, why would the kid not get the fthers last name? I dont have to be there to sign the cert, because i dont know if im the father so thats my reason why i wouldnt sign it in the first place.

So I do have a choice, the kid will most likely always get the dads last name
 
I'm really just hoping this kid isn't yours.....I thought I was havin a rough time...all I have to do is think of you and my perspective changes
 
mrplunkey said:
HTH = Hope this helps

Here's how the system is setup. She won't work and you will. That means she'll get the vast majority of the parenting time. That in turn means she'll get more child support. And *that* means you get to work more, which will give you even less time with the kid. So once you've taken-on another job and are working evenings and weekends, she'll run around bitching to all her friends about how you never spend time with the kid. But that won't be the worst part. The worst part will be the unemployed guy living with her who uses some of your child support payments for beer and cigarettes (oh, and the latest X-box games as well).

HTH!
Click to expand...

lolol ur fuckin funny bro, i like the sarcasm in ur posts but the fucked up part is that IT's FUCKIN TRUE

I feel more used than a bloody tampon at the end of a girls period
 
cindylou said:
I'm really just hoping this kid isn't yours.....I thought I was havin a rough time...all I have to do is think of you and my perspective changes
Click to expand...


lol

Well yea it definitely sucks but ive always been a positive dude. When I get a speeding ticket i just learn to laugh about it, its not the end of the world like the new fracesca batistelli song :)

Ppl have it a lot worse than me, which gets me thru what Im going thru. I have a home, i have the ability to go to college, i shower every day and have water, I have a loving family, I have a car and 3 jobs, I have thletic ability, I have a high IQ believe it or not lol, I am sociable and i can listen to ppl with empathy, and believe it or not im thankful for this baby if its mine, God has a reason to place him in my life whether i think its good or not
 
the.gladiator1987 said:
Could I really go to Maury? How would I even begin to try ad do hat?

lol i hope this is all a big joke nro, thatd be the sweetest thing to ever happen in my awesome life. It sucks how she can be such a slob and get all these benefits. her mother has always been on wic/welfare/food stamps and i can see how my ex is gonna be just like her. She also sleeps around and one time even had sex with a friend just to pay rent, god im so gld im out. Its almost worth the child support payments every month to be out ofthat bullshit
Click to expand...

of course!! you can tell the crowd everything you you just posted. like hookin for da rent. just being a whore in general. they will boo you though till the test results are in. maury specialized in paternity, cheating/polygraph S/O's, he/she's, and disfigurements. you can be like these people. (als it may help to have a sweet dance routine in case the results go your way)



 
I dont think anyone believes you have a high IQ.
 
lol @ using an online IQ test via myspace and believing the results.
 
DannoMight said:
she'll get welfare/food card/wic the kid will get medicaid for the medical purposes and you'll be footing a percent of your wages to her (around 25% possibly that will be her income. what sucks is that you hav to pay for the paternity test even if your not the faja. personally i'd her on maury. find out the real way. plus get a trip to new york.

maybe the kid will be born on april 1 and the april fools joke will be.....
Click to expand...

Maury actually moved the his show directly across from where I live on the other side of the Long Island sound in Stamford, CT now.
 
and if you check the ORIGINAL threads I was the first one to tell you to go on Maury. You never listen dood.
 
the.gladiator1987 said:
lol I am listening now bro! You should see if you could hook it up since you are so close, I need to learn a sick dance like those blaque fools tho since im white
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lol, I am sure you will think of something. But, you need to follow up to try and get on the show. You also have to talk your Ex into doing it. (tell her she will get paid and become famous or some shit)
Too bad you never took my advice about the youtube videos. You could have just given them a link to the whole story. Your chance of getting on the show will be much harder. But hey... I told you about 100 times to do it.
 
lartinos said:
lol, I am sure you will think of something. But, you need to follow up to try and get on the show. You also have to talk your Ex into doing it. (tell her she will get paid and become famous or some shit)
Too bad you never took my advice about the youtube videos. You could have just given them a link to the whole story. Your chance of getting on the show will be much harder. But hey... I told you about 100 times to do it.
Click to expand...


yea they gave me a number to call if they dont reply soon... i bet i can still make some youtube vids? And then i can call them and give them the links

she better fuckin agree, ill say she gets paid hella money lol
 
the.gladiator1987 said:
yea they gave me a number to call if they dont reply soon... i bet i can still make some youtube vids? And then i can call them and give them the links

she better fuckin agree, ill say she gets paid hella money lol
Click to expand...

I am sure she'll atleast get a few hundred bucks, also they will figure out who's kid it is for free.
 
You should fuck her in the pooper and take a picture of you doing so.

Because that will be the last time you do it to her and she'll be doing it to you for the next 18 years.
 
DannoMight said:
on the bright side of CS payments they will go by a % of what you make to determine what you pay.

like shirl said the mom has to be a real fuckup to lose custody. the ball is in her court as of now. the mom would have to be caught red handed with drugs or fail several drug tests to lose custody.
Click to expand...

Not necessarily. The judge determines how much the child needs to have it's basic needs met each week and sets it accordingly. If you don't make that much or can't afford that much on the job you have now, you either work more hours, find a second job or get a raise. Has nothing to do with what you make in determining what the amount is set at. They set the amount, you pay the amount or the mother calls the po-pos to report you.

And if the mother gets caught with drugs or shit... doesn't matter. The state will spend more $$$ on making her a better mother than it would instead of just handing the kid over to the father.

BTW - make sure you mention the savings you have when you go to court. So the judge can dip his hand into that as well for the mother.
 
AAP said:
Not necessarily. The judge determines how much the child needs to have it's basic needs met each week and sets it accordingly. If you don't make that much or can't afford that much on the job you have now, you either work more hours, find a second job or get a raise. Has nothing to do with what you make in determining what the amount is set at. They set the amount, you pay the amount or the mother calls the po-pos to report you.

And if the mother gets caught with drugs or shit... doesn't matter. The state will spend more $$$ on making her a better mother than it would instead of just handing the kid over to the father.

BTW - make sure you mention the savings you have when you go to court. So the judge can dip his hand into that as well for the mother.
Click to expand...


this^^^
I've seen it as high as 55% of gross....lotta ppl don't even net the difference

the whole child support arrangement is a scam
when states and the fed collect it they can keep a percentage of it...you know..to offset the cost of support enforcement..you know, for the kids
 
Some states use child support tables. They look up the support based on each parent's income and their parenting time. There's a minimum payment (regardless of how little either parent makes) and a maximum payment (regardless of how much either parent makes). But of course there is a process for raising the ceiling based on extenuating circumstances.

That's where a low-income male with a full-time job gets killed. The guy has little income and the woman typically has zero. The woman's free time lands her 10/14 days with the kid, so the tables are already skewed two times over. But then the guy hits the minimum threshold and can easily wind-up paying 50%+ of their paycheck for support.
 
mrplunkey said:
Some states use child support tables. They look up the support based on each parent's income and their parenting time. There's a minimum payment (regardless of how little either parent makes) and a maximum payment (regardless of how much either parent makes). But of course there is a process for raising the ceiling based on extenuating circumstances.

That's where a low-income male with a full-time job gets killed. The guy has little income and the woman typically has zero. The woman's free time lands her 10/14 days with the kid, so the tables are already skewed two times over. But then the guy hits the minimum threshold and can easily wind-up paying 50%+ of their paycheck for support.
Click to expand...

It goes back to him finding out the laws in his state...there's so many little rules that someone can get caught on. Same with the whole name on the certificate thing. There's so much more to it then just talking to a judge.
 
shirlene29 said:
right...and you've looked into this enough to know that for the first month minimum the baby gets no bottles right? some would argue not even a pacifier

no job= 100% time with the baby
you're saying..well I've got it covered..my parents will babysit (which btw never works out long term) which isn't the same as you taking care of a kid
no college...I mean, did you graduate? what degree do you have that you're putting to meaningful use?

you look into a four door car yet? car seat safety ratings?
child education trust?
you know what a waiting list generally looks like for preschool?
you consider cord blood banking? know what to put on a diaper rash? aware that some babies are allergic to some brands of diapers?? tylenol v motrin for fevers???
hell...health insurance for the baby????

tuition at some of the schools I posted in another thread costs more than you make in a year

the only way you're gaining custody is if she's a fuck up to the kid...not just at life...thank you for playing
the only way youre getting shared custody is if she agrees to it
Click to expand...

Not true.
 
jnevin said:
Not true.
Click to expand...

friend had a baby recently and uses similac mostly, she says breast feeding hurts so bad, she couldn't stand it long enough for her little girl to finish up. baby was only a few days old when she started with the packaged bottled milk.


also glad, how is it that you still dont know if its yours or not? how is that not driving you crazy?!! do you know when the baby is due?
 
I broke down and gave Abby her first bottle while I was still in the hospital..so the first 48 hours. I also gave her a bink while I was in teh hospital. At the same time...if this chick wants to bf her baby she has to be less than an hour away at all times at least the first 30 days wouldn't you think? I already can't remember how that goes but those damn kids need to be fed at least every three hours and breastfeeding takes FOREVER compared to a bottle. I remember the first 30 days being in a haze because all I did was feed the baby it seemed..thats it. Putting her on a food and sleep schedule was my main concern for the first three months; I had no life outside of that.
 
*ebony* said:
friend had a baby recently and uses similac mostly, she says breast feeding hurts so bad, she couldn't stand it long enough for her little girl to finish up. baby was only a few days old when she started with the packaged bottled milk.


also glad, how is it that you still dont know if its yours or not? how is that not driving you crazy?!! do you know when the baby is due?
Click to expand...

My daughter was so small when she was born she couldn't latch on. My ex used that as an excuse to pump only and never try to breast feed. Within a month, she had stopped breast feeding all together because she couldn't look as skinny as she wanted to since she had to eat more to produce the milk.

Really lucked out with that one.
 
lol no one tells you that if that baby latches wrong ONCE that you'll bleed and you have to put the baby back on the boob an hour later even though its scabbed over...no thanks! I was serious about breastfeeding too but it hurt so much I have to give her a bottle just to give myself a break from teh pain. Toe curling pain
 
wait a minute this thread is taking a turn for the worse.

glad you financially fuct if dis yo baby!! practice your maury dance!! do the worm for all of us
 
cindylou said:
lol no one tells you that if that baby latches wrong ONCE that you'll bleed and you have to put the baby back on the boob an hour later even though its scabbed over...no thanks! I was serious about breastfeeding too but it hurt so much I have to give her a bottle just to give myself a break from teh pain. Toe curling pain
Click to expand...

Motherhood fail!!!!!!!!!!111111
 
cindylou said:
lol no one tells you that if that baby latches wrong ONCE that you'll bleed and you have to put the baby back on the boob an hour later even though its scabbed over...no thanks! I was serious about breastfeeding too but it hurt so much I have to give her a bottle just to give myself a break from teh pain. Toe curling pain
Click to expand...

I had a lot of similar experiences. I did not find it the enjoyable bonding experience everyone said it should be, most times anyway. Didn't last too long doing it.

So..another motherhood fail!! ;)
 
Roxy/cindy must both be subpar american white moms, minority or foreign moms would have pwned that shit

lololll
 
superdave said:
Roxy/cindy must both be subpar american white moms, minority or foreign moms would have pwned that shit

lololll
Click to expand...

lol...I know..I was reading that other thread thinking...damn...no wonder I can't find a date!! I'm white! A whole lotta fail going on in here.

Back to the Maury dance...
 
cindylou said:
lol no one tells you that if that baby latches wrong ONCE that you'll bleed and you have to put the baby back on the boob an hour later even though its scabbed over...no thanks! I was serious about breastfeeding too but it hurt so much I have to give her a bottle just to give myself a break from teh pain. Toe curling pain
Click to expand...


yea, she also mentioned the blood. I never even thought of bottle feeding my yet to be conceived baby, but after seeing how twisted up in pain her face got when she attempted a feeding, kinda got a bit scared.lol i thought it was because the baby wasn't latched on right, but she said thats how the nurse told her to do it, plus i was flipping through one their baby instruction/guide books at the time and it looked right.
 
*ebony* said:
yea, she also mentioned the blood. I never even thought of bottle feeding my yet to be conceived baby, but after seeing how twisted up in pain her face got when she attempted a feeding, kinda got a bit scared.lol i thought it was because the baby wasn't latched on right, but she said thats how the nurse told her to do it, plus i was flipping through one their baby instruction/guide books at the time and it looked right.
Click to expand...

My lactation consultant said that it shouldn't hurt like that if they are latched correctly. IDK. I had to have one of the nurses sneak me in some formula just so I could rest them :D lol...I pumped when I got home from teh hospital and eventually quit producing milk because I just couldn't pump enough to supply enough to continue...plus it didn't help my supply that I was supplementing with formula....

I don't think it is anything to be scared about..but it's good to be prepared for it. You really have to be serious about breastfeeding to continue because if you have formula lying around its just too easy to use it and then your supply drops and its hard to try and get it back up....
 
*ebony* said:
yea, she also mentioned the blood. I never even thought of bottle feeding my yet to be conceived baby, but after seeing how twisted up in pain her face got when she attempted a feeding, kinda got a bit scared.lol i thought it was because the baby wasn't latched on right, but she said thats how the nurse told her to do it, plus i was flipping through one their baby instruction/guide books at the time and it looked right.
Click to expand...

you were right. baby was not latched on correctly.
 
cindylou said:
My lactation consultant said that it shouldn't hurt like that if they are latched correctly. IDK. I had to have one of the nurses sneak me in some formula just so I could rest them :D lol...I pumped when I got home from teh hospital and eventually quit producing milk because I just couldn't pump enough to supply enough to continue...plus it didn't help my supply that I was supplementing with formula....

I don't think it is anything to be scared about..but it's good to be prepared for it. You really have to be serious about breastfeeding to continue because if you have formula lying around its just too easy to use it and then your supply drops and its hard to try and get it back up....
Click to expand...

Too bad I didn't know you were having these problems. I am an excellent lactation consultant. You could have flown me out and I would have gotten you and Abby set up straight. I did it for my wife and Brian Jr. Serios.

As for the second part of your post, we had formula stocked, but wifey kept Brian Jr. on the boob for 6 months. Probably would have kept him on longer but he had teeth and had taken to biting down on her nipple and ripping off the teet. After a couple of those he was done. LOL!
 
bruised nipples from teeth are seriously uncool...dunno how it turned into a breast feeding discussion but anywho...

keeping formula stocked is a good idea in case it goes to hell
artificial nipples in the first month will fuck it up...so will pumping...
and I don't think any mother should be made to feel bad if they can't or don't breast feed.. "lactivists" piss me off
personally I think its easier..no bottles to heat up, no formula to mix...and it burns about 500-800 cals a day


and LOLOL@ people trying to give anyone advice on how a custody hearing will go regarding shared custody when they've never actually gone through one
and also...what are the chances its even his kid and if it his...he won't bolt in the first three months anyway
 
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