Please Scroll Down to See Forums Below if your parents were anything like mine were; the looser bf made a wise move.
born and raised in dust bowl depression oklahoma, my father liked his horse whip and my mother was NO stranger to a sawed off shotgun.
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share a sex-fail story
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born and raised in dust bowl depression oklahoma, my father liked his horse whip and my mother was NO stranger to a sawed off shotgun.
is this where AAP's often repeated "spit and steady pressure" line came from?
is this where AAP's often repeated "spit and steady pressure" line came from?
lol... i see he's told you the story.
broonzy
New member
Ok, here's one. A few years ago I started chatting with this girl online. Long story short, we exchanged a few pics and she wanted to meet. She lived about 3 hrs away, but we decided to meet in a town that was about halfway between the two of us. She said to meet her at this pool hall and she explained where it was.
So I get there and meet her and we go inside and play a few games of pool. I'm a bit shy at first, and she is anything but shy. After maybe 45 minutes of playing pool she basically tells me to stop being shy because she liked me and I was definately going to be getting laid that night. Funny enough, that did take the pressure off and I was able to relax. So we play a bit more pool and decide to go to a club.
We get to the club and she starts talking about how alot of men can't handle her sexually. So I start thinking.."Ok, WTF have I gotten myself into here?" But at the same time I'm curious so I wanna find out what she's talking about. She wants to dance so we go on the dance floor....Now I'm a pretty average dancer, I don't do anything crazy, I move to the music just enough to say I'm dancing. Her.....she's bouncing all over the fucking place....I swear it was like trying to follow a bouncing rubber ball. People are staring and I feel like an idiot so I say lets go get a drink, just to get off the dance floor. So we sit down and again she starts talking about how most guys are intimidated by her agressiveness in bed. Again I start thinking "WTF did I get myself into?", but since I was confident in my abilities I figured I wanted to find out what she was talking about.
So we get ready to leave and she asks me if I have any condoms. I say "Yeah, I brought 3." She says, "You're gonna need more than that, go in the bathroom and get a couple more." I'm thinking "More??, WTF??" I'm usually a once per night kinda guy, but I can make it last a long time, so once is usually enough. Anyway, we get a Hotel room and start going at it.
We get naked and she starts giving me head, and its not that great, she's really rough. Usually blow jobs are like Pizza, even the bad ones are still pretty good....but not this pizza. I figured i'd just endure it for a few minutes and then we'd move on to something else, but it became apparent that she wanted to make me cum, and she wasn't going to stop until I did. So here was my conundrum. She was expecting 4 or 5 rounds of sex, and I knew that if I let my self cum from this, chances are I wouldn't be able to get hard again for the rest of the night. Yet for some reason I convinced myself that if I tried real hard I'd be able get hard again. So I had to concentrate really hard, and it seemed like it took forever, but I managed to make myself cum from her awful BJ.
So....it's now time for round 2, and uh, my dick is about as hard as cooked spaghetti. I think maybe if I go down on her I'll get turned on, so I try that. I'm going down on her and fingering her and she's really getting into it, and I'm actually starting to get semi hard. So I'm fingering and licking and she moans "OMG ...you're gonna get it in the face!" I figured that meant she was a squirter, and I had never been with a squirter, so I wasn't sure what to expect. The way she said it, it was almost like a warning, so I'm thinking, " Why is she so concerned about it getting me in the face?" So I stop licking and I'm only fingering her at this point and I'm leaning my head back because I'm afraid whatever is gonna come out of her is going to shoot out like a fire hose and hurt me somehow. Because of the new way I was positioned I couldn't get good leverage while fingering her and since I wasn't stimulating the clit anymore, her moaning got less intense and I knew I fucked up her orgasm.
Since I had half an erection I thought I would turn her over and fuck her doggy style. If I was hard enough to get it in, I thought rocking it back and forth would get me the rest of the way there. I turn her over and she says something like " If your wondering about that bump on my lower back it's because I broke my tailbone a long time ago and since then I've had that bump." It was dark so I couldn't really see what she was talking about so I just thought to myself, "Yeah whatever, just shut up and let me do this". So I get it in sort of, kind of smooshed in half way. I start trying to work it to get some kind of feeling that will get me there the rest of the way. Then my hand brushed over her lower back and I felt that bump she was talking about. It was huge! It was like a tail was trying to push itself out of the skin! I was totally grossed out after that. There was no way I was going to get an erection, so I had to tell her "I'm sorry but I don't it's going to happen.". So we went to sleep and, we tried again in the morning but between the pressure, and that...bump thing...I still couldn't get hard.
Anyway, that was worst sexual performance ever.
So I get there and meet her and we go inside and play a few games of pool. I'm a bit shy at first, and she is anything but shy. After maybe 45 minutes of playing pool she basically tells me to stop being shy because she liked me and I was definately going to be getting laid that night. Funny enough, that did take the pressure off and I was able to relax. So we play a bit more pool and decide to go to a club.
We get to the club and she starts talking about how alot of men can't handle her sexually. So I start thinking.."Ok, WTF have I gotten myself into here?" But at the same time I'm curious so I wanna find out what she's talking about. She wants to dance so we go on the dance floor....Now I'm a pretty average dancer, I don't do anything crazy, I move to the music just enough to say I'm dancing. Her.....she's bouncing all over the fucking place....I swear it was like trying to follow a bouncing rubber ball. People are staring and I feel like an idiot so I say lets go get a drink, just to get off the dance floor. So we sit down and again she starts talking about how most guys are intimidated by her agressiveness in bed. Again I start thinking "WTF did I get myself into?", but since I was confident in my abilities I figured I wanted to find out what she was talking about.
So we get ready to leave and she asks me if I have any condoms. I say "Yeah, I brought 3." She says, "You're gonna need more than that, go in the bathroom and get a couple more." I'm thinking "More??, WTF??" I'm usually a once per night kinda guy, but I can make it last a long time, so once is usually enough. Anyway, we get a Hotel room and start going at it.
We get naked and she starts giving me head, and its not that great, she's really rough. Usually blow jobs are like Pizza, even the bad ones are still pretty good....but not this pizza. I figured i'd just endure it for a few minutes and then we'd move on to something else, but it became apparent that she wanted to make me cum, and she wasn't going to stop until I did. So here was my conundrum. She was expecting 4 or 5 rounds of sex, and I knew that if I let my self cum from this, chances are I wouldn't be able to get hard again for the rest of the night. Yet for some reason I convinced myself that if I tried real hard I'd be able get hard again. So I had to concentrate really hard, and it seemed like it took forever, but I managed to make myself cum from her awful BJ.
So....it's now time for round 2, and uh, my dick is about as hard as cooked spaghetti. I think maybe if I go down on her I'll get turned on, so I try that. I'm going down on her and fingering her and she's really getting into it, and I'm actually starting to get semi hard. So I'm fingering and licking and she moans "OMG ...you're gonna get it in the face!" I figured that meant she was a squirter, and I had never been with a squirter, so I wasn't sure what to expect. The way she said it, it was almost like a warning, so I'm thinking, " Why is she so concerned about it getting me in the face?" So I stop licking and I'm only fingering her at this point and I'm leaning my head back because I'm afraid whatever is gonna come out of her is going to shoot out like a fire hose and hurt me somehow. Because of the new way I was positioned I couldn't get good leverage while fingering her and since I wasn't stimulating the clit anymore, her moaning got less intense and I knew I fucked up her orgasm.
Since I had half an erection I thought I would turn her over and fuck her doggy style. If I was hard enough to get it in, I thought rocking it back and forth would get me the rest of the way there. I turn her over and she says something like " If your wondering about that bump on my lower back it's because I broke my tailbone a long time ago and since then I've had that bump." It was dark so I couldn't really see what she was talking about so I just thought to myself, "Yeah whatever, just shut up and let me do this". So I get it in sort of, kind of smooshed in half way. I start trying to work it to get some kind of feeling that will get me there the rest of the way. Then my hand brushed over her lower back and I felt that bump she was talking about. It was huge! It was like a tail was trying to push itself out of the skin! I was totally grossed out after that. There was no way I was going to get an erection, so I had to tell her "I'm sorry but I don't it's going to happen.". So we went to sleep and, we tried again in the morning but between the pressure, and that...bump thing...I still couldn't get hard.
Anyway, that was worst sexual performance ever.
You know, people are going to think this is just a haha type post, but it really did happen.
If they only knew the extent of it and not just assume it all happened in one room, in one zipcode then they really would think we were lying. Hard to believe that a simple trip to get a candle ended with the hitching porn queen going back to that trailer park.
(Which she wasn't bad looking at all even considering how long ago she had been doing it. Right promotion she could be doing the MILF types as one of the top billers.)
chris302001
Banned
jnevin
New member
I was not the catcher.
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