My GF did coke this weekend and lied to me about it should I get rid of her?

[Moe]

Did you know she was a "party girl" before you baceme seriously involved? If so, you can blame no one but yourself for taking issue with her doing coke. If not, you should talk to her rationally about it. Make sure you know why YOU have an issue with her doing coke before confronting her with it. If you are worried that coke will make cheat on you or something along those lines, then it is much more of YOUR issue than hers.

The lying is something else all together. This cannot be said clearly enough--truth is the basis for any good relationship. If she would lie to you about something as "small" as doing coke, what lengths would she go to to hide the "big" things? Just a thought.

Now, if you have reserved yourself to the notion that you can never fully trust her from this point forward, then you already have the answer you seek. THE RELATIONSHIP IS OVER--already. If that is the case, you owe it to her, and especially to yourself to just walk away.

 

[notoriousQQ]

I for one don't see the problem. Strippers and cocaine? Sounds like one hell of a party to me. But, to have some live in trim that is a cokehead and stripper is another thing all together. If she was just some hide you have laying around, no problemo, but, you best kick that bitch to the curb if you are wanting to have a relationship.

 

[LivinLarger]

Oh, I had question? What if she would have done X and screwed your brains out? Would you still be mad?

No, I have done x with her lots of times, I have not seen too many people turn into whores for x or lose their houses/businesses like I have for coke.

I tried to break it off with her yesterday, but she just fell to the floor sobbing, telling me how sorry she is and how much she loves me. I have a soft heart and a womans tears are hard to take.
I know she loves me, and I love her but I think she will hurt me in the end.
Damn life sucks sometimes, I hate making decisions like this.

 

[SofaGeorge]

Leopards do not change their spots.

If you want to stay with her... fine. Just don't expect her to change.

 

[FLASHMAN1]

Been with this girl for 2 years now, she is 23, I am 30 she lives with me and for the most part we get along fine. Problem is, SHE IS A LYING BITCH, as I have found out most women are.
I have a severe problem with trusting this one, 3 mo's after we started going out we got into a fight about something and she ran off and fucked another guy. Her friends all told me what she had done and she denied it completely even though I could tell she was lying.
Finally I called the guy she nailed and found out the truth, she still denied it and only admitted it as I was walking out the door for the last time.
Despite EVERYONE telling me to get rid of her I decided to trust her and get back together.Things have been decent since then and I told her that she would need to rebuild the trust between us.
We like to party a lot here in GR and have lots of mutual friends and party a good bit. I have always told her if she ever does coke that I would get rid of her because I have had a coke head GF before and it was pathetic. Never had money, sneaking around doing coke behind my back, hanging out with who-ever could get it for her, etc, etc you all know how it goes.

Well this weekend she decides to give it a try, I noticed her eyes were huge and she was bouncing off of the walls, it took me about 3 seconds to know what was up. I confronted her, she of course denied it. Did some investigating because I knew she was lying to me and found out someone I know sold an 8 ball to a friend of hers and they had been "going out to the car".
She still denied it, I rode home with a friend and slept next to her pissed as hell. She was still denying it all so I went to the store while she was still sleeping and bought a drug test. When i got back I woke her up and I told her she could piss in the cup for me now, or in an hour for her parents because that's where I would be heading next.
So with that she finally admitted to doing a line, but who know how much she really did or for how long she has been because she is a liar.
She works in a strip club and most of her friends are into coke so I figured she would fuck up sooner or later.
I constantly turn down other women whenever I go out and getting another girl would not be an issue, but it seems all of the good ones are gone and I am sick of weeding through all of the shitty women out there.
I told her I would help her move her shit out and that it would be best for her because I could never see myself marrying her because she is a liar. She started crying and begging me not to get rid of her, telling me I could test her whenever etc etc.
I have seen coke ruin the lives of a few of my friends and I have NEVER tried it and never will. Virtually all of her GF are hooked on the shit and she has a very addictive personality so I bet she will do it again and again......

I am in idiot if do not get rid of her right?....
Just looking for some feedback, this is a big decision for me and I don't really have anyone to talk to about this.

What would you do?
LL

I don't even know why you need to ask for advice in this situation, but here goes.... She ALREADY cheated on you, (that would've been the last straw for me right there), Lies to you constantly, and works in a strip club, where drugs like coke are plentiful and VERY easily available.... do the math bro, BAIL WHILE YOU STILL CAN!!!!! Cuz if you knock her up you're fucked!!! Say good bye!!!

 

[notoriousQQ]

You know in psychology they say that guilt actually keeps you making the same mistakes over and over. Why do we engage in behavior that we know we will feel guilty about and then feel really bad afterwards, yet do the same thing the next day or next time that opportunity presents itself? Well we make guilt our punishment so when that same situation comes up again we feel like we already paid the price last time for what we did (through our guilt) so we fall again whenever put in the same situation in the future.
Man, I used to party a lot. And I can say that whenever I would do blow it would make me feel horrible, I felt like a bad person, a bad partner to the girl that I was with and whenever it would cause problems I can say that I was always sorry, told them how much I loved them, blah blah blah but my behavior didn't change. Some of what I would say was true but it was more realistically I liked the fact that I had someone good in my life that I could depend on, almost like a security blanket and doing blow made me feel like a really bad person and I felt guilty about it. Plus it made me feel like I was lonely and I didn't like that.

So, you might just be this girls back rub, you know, there to make her feel better. The only way she will quit partying is if it is that time and place in her life when she doesn't want that to be part of who she is anymore. Not you, not anyone else will make her stop. You need to be with her if you like how she makes you feel and treats you. If you have a problem with her or her behavior, it's cut and dry, DO NOT BE WITH HER.

 

[Saizen]

This is just FYI. If you can't hang with strippers then your best bet is to leave now. Strippers don't want a guy telling them what they should and shouldn't be doing. They like the "Rock star party" scene and if you can't "hang" with them, then they will tend to look elsewhere. They don't want a ball and chain and they certainly don't want to have a guy with insecurities or a jealous mind frame. Trust me, if there's one thing that I know it's this. I know because 1) I used to strip. 2) I date only strippers 3) My g/f and most of my friends are strippers.

Just something for you to think about!

As for the cheating on you; well my friend you'll find that whether she's a stripper or not. I'd give her the boot for the cheating aspect and not for the partying hard. I like to party hardy

 

[prophet]

girls that do coke are bad news

 

[Milhouse]

I saw propose to her. Its the least you could do.

 

[velvett]

Well, she's lied to you twice and seems to show no remorse for lying to you, as she continus to do so.

So let me tell you this, you're 30 now so I'm going take a chance and make an assumption that you're looking for relationships over fuck buddies right? Would you want to consider a future with a girl that has already lied to you?

I would give her a week to pack up and leave.