My GF did coke this weekend and lied to me about it should I get rid of her?

[velvett]

#1, she has lied to you, and i'm all for forgiving someone when they lie, if they want to make an effort to stay with you. good for you for trying to make it work.

#2, shame on you for giving an ultimatum on what drug is OK, and not OK for her to do. while i do agree that coke can be an easily abused drug, she's a grown up and should be able to make her own decisions on what she wants to do or not do. by making it a "forbidden" drug, you've made it very desireable to try, and also given her no choice but to lie to you when she does try it. she's immature for hiding it, and lieing and you are equally immature for trying to control her.

#3, her living with you for free, not pulling her weight, paying bills, etc, looks very much to me like another way you are trying to control her. i think thats also why you are picking someone who is somewhat younger than you, you can control them easily. would she still be with you if you asked her to pull her weight?

bottom line is, you have no say in what she does to her body, its her decision. the best you can do is say how you feel about the situation, but ultimately the only person you can control is yourself.

*********************

so, answer my question, would she still want to live with you if she had to pay for her room and board, at least half?

nice guy or not, you are saying some girls would whore themselves out for coke, or whatever their drug of choice is. don't you think you are basically paying for her affections by not asking for her to carry her weight? trust me, she's already whoring herself out, its just not for drugs, its for room and board. ask her to pay, see if she sticks around

Go Tex!






Ouch, the truth burns.....

 

[LivinLarger]

Damn you ladies are tough lol

so, answer my question, would she still want to live with you if she had to pay for her room and board, at least half?

Yes I do she actually offers to pay rent on a regular basis, she makes more money than I do (and I make a GOOD living) so it would not be a biggie for her.

As far as I know this is the FIRST time she has ever tried it, I do love her and I want to make sure this is the last time if we work it out.

Anal, as far as needing a sober man, if this does not work give me a ring, I am about to give up on women J/K

So why are you still debating about it here?

I have 2 years invested in her and I care about her, that sums it up.

 

[TEXgrl]

if she offers to pay, why not let her? all i'm saying is, no matter how much time you have invested in her, the biggest problem lots of couples have is financial.....she doesn't have a financial issue with you, so life is good, huh? a true test of whether she actually WANTS to be there is if she has to pay for something.

as far as telling her coke is out, end of story, how about a compromise? only do it if you are there. that way you know how much, etc. not only will it establish some trust between the two of you again, it also doesn't make it some forbidden desireable object she can't have. you'd be amazed the shit i didn't want to do, etc, once someone said it wasn't forbidden!! especially at her age.

now, where the hell were you when i was single? i've never had anybody pay my way 100%.

 

[LivinLarger]

I am buying a bigger, nicer house soon and we have agreed that she will pay rent then as it will be a bigger burdon for me and then I will need her help.
I could compromise on the coke and have her do it only with me around, but I am worried about her getting hooked on it.
I have wanted to try it for awhile myself as I have tons of self control and am not the addictive type and I I get hooked it's on me.
I am tight with her parents and it would kill me to have to tell them I introduced their daughter to coke and now she's hooked.
I have stayed away because I did not think it would be fair to her because I know she has wanted to try it for some time.
I am not one of those people who blame drugs for everything but even you must admit that people do get hopelessly hooked on coke.
If we ever did agree to try it, it was something I wanted to experience for the first time together and that was a big "if" we ever did it.
As far as telling her not to do it, it was never a CONTROL issue, I care about her and I did not want her to take the chance that she may get hooked on the stuff.

 

[AAP]

A woman lying? Damn. Never heard of that before.

You can always:

Fuck that ass.
Sell her coke.
Live rent free while she is up in detox.

 

[Frackal]

The real problem here is you. You are codependant. You are mentally abused and you don't even know it. They bitch cheats on you, is doing blow, hanging out with strippers and you just put your nuts in your purse and say "yes dear"! Man the fuck up and go and get some new clean pussy!

One of my ex's starting hanging with the wrong crowd. Started with weed, then X, then LSD, and i heard she was doing coke eventually, but i dumped her already. Relationships are too hard let alone when one of the partners is on drugs. I saw her like two years later and I had gained like 20 pounds from lifting and was beating off new pussy with a stick. She was really sad. Fuck it.

Good advice

 

[KAYNE]

I am buying a bigger, nicer house soon and we have agreed that she will pay rent then as it will be a bigger burdon for me and then I will need her help.
I could compromise on the coke and have her do it only with me around, but I am worried about her getting hooked on it.
I have wanted to try it for awhile myself as I have tons of self control and am not the addictive type and I I get hooked it's on me.
I am tight with her parents and it would kill me to have to tell them I introduced their daughter to coke and now she's hooked.
I have stayed away because I did not think it would be fair to her because I know she has wanted to try it for some time.
I am not one of those people who blame drugs for everything but even you must admit that people do get hopelessly hooked on coke.
If we ever did agree to try it, it was something I wanted to experience for the first time together and that was a big "if" we ever did it.
As far as telling her not to do it, it was never a CONTROL issue, I care about her and I did not want her to take the chance that she may get hooked on the stuff.

MAN, WAKE THE FUCK UP!!!


KAYNE

 

[velvett]

I have 2 years invested in her and I care about her, that sums it up.

Dude!


Ok, listen.

So you have spent 2 years - big woopie - better than being married in one year and wake up 10 years later and ask yourself what the hell did I do? So you'll stick it out because it's been 13 years and why leave the comfort zone even if it's bad for you?
You'll be 43 and miserable but you'll be in good company.

So you've made it clear that you want to stick it out with this girl - it's your life - you need to do what you want to do.

Both the MEN and the WOMEN here have pointed out so many reasons why you should re-think a future with this girl and you admited earlier that your friends don't agree with you being with her either.

Who knows, maybe we're all wrong.



It's gonna be one rude wake up call.

 

[KAYNE]

SO YOURE GOING TO WASTE ANOTHER TWO YEARS TRYING TO SEE IF IT WILL WORK OUT??? TRUST ME, IT WILL NOT. IF SHE IS THE WAY YOU SAY SHE IS, FIRE HER ASS.

TRUST ME MAN, I WENT THROUGH SOMETHING VERY SIMILAR. IT WILL NOT WORK OUT. YOU SOUND LIKE YOU ARE TRYING TO RATIONALIZE STAYING WITH HER. YOU ARE PUSSY WHIPPED. IT WILL FEEL LIKE A LOAD IS OFF OF YOUR SHOULDERS ONCE YOU STOP WORRYING ABOUT A LYING WHORE.




KAYNE

 

[The Shadow]

better than being married in one year and wake up 10 years later and ask yourself what the hell did I do?




Listen to her...