lesson in life: love yourself, learn to love yourself...if you can.

[Nathan]

I don't love myself either. Except for my smile, that thing is outrageous. I'll be all down and hating myself, then I'll be in front of a mirror and will smile about something and I'll be all, "Awwwwwww."

 

[velvett]

You've just admitted that you've been a fake shell for quite some time. You should not be surprised if you lack self-respect or "love for thy self" how could you love something that doesn't even exist. You've been lying to yourself and therefore lying to othersi.

Think about all the people you pushed away from the fabricated you trying to be a macho tough guy, always up, always perfect. Then also consider those that will never trust you because how will they know if it is really you or just another fake?

Maybe when you can accept who you think you really are you will know just how many people deal with the very same challenges in life.

 

[Mandinka2]

You've just admitted that you've been a fake shell for quite some time. You should not be surprised if you lack self-respect or "love for thy self" how could you love something that doesn't even exist. You've been lying to yourself and therefore lying to othersi.

Think about all the people you pushed away from the fabricated you trying to be a macho tough guy, always up, always perfect. Then also consider those that will never trust you because how will they know if it is really you or just another fake?

Maybe when you can accept who you think you really are you will know just how many people deal with the very same challenges in life.

Naw its not really like that Velv (at least not 4 me), I just like to make folks smile in real life y'know. We're all full of insecurities an' crap , but only very few do we take into our true hearts. Its not selfish , its just a reaction to the modern dating bullshit.

 

[Chester_Copperpot]

Good post!

 

[lucidblue]

Thats because every time you fall in love its different.

Thats why you're happy.

We all seek companionship. Some more so than others. I'd guess you're in the right-hand side of the spectrum. You need companionship to be happy.

This is not a bad thing. Its just part of your character.

Problem is(IMO), you think it makes you vulnerable.

It doesn't.

Its what makes you, YOU.

Fonz

Very good point! I think a lot of men and women think love/commitment makes them vulnerable, when it's really what they seek and need. Just make sure you are true to yourself and don't change for every person you are with.

 

[velvett]

Naw its not really like that Velv (at least not 4 me), I just like to make folks smile in real life y'know. We're all full of insecurities an' crap , but only very few do we take into our true hearts. Its not selfish , its just a reaction to the modern dating bullshit.

Point taken.

Yet guarding your heart from being broken is different then trying to be someone you're not through a created image.

 

[Scarlett33]

We all put up a front for others. There is the private self and the public self. If we all were not trying to please others would we bother to dress nicely or groom ourselves at all? It would be much easier just to roll out of bed at the last second not bother to workout, shower, or whatever, and just go to work in what we slept in. Some of the personal hygene/upkeep I do for myself because I feel better physically when I do. But the extra stuff like make-up and hair styling I do to be attractive to others, not just my husband, not just men, but to everyone , man, woman and child,young, old...we all put on a facade. The only ones who don't are maybe mentally ill people, like the schizophrenics that walk the streets just oblivious to anyone else. The rest of us are out to impress.

 

[flexygrl]

But I am scared, scared to lose that feeling again. Scared that the only time I am happy is in love.

Don't be scared. Embrace love! Cherish every moment of it.


When you are trully in love with someone you can be utterly and completely naked emotionally. When someone really loves you they will take all your faults along with all the good things about you. If someone really loves you, they will not try to change you. They will understand that we all have faults. Faults are part of what makes us unique.

HI,

This stage of your relationship is the most beautiful and special. Memories of the "beginning" is what will get you through the bad times. Memories of what it felt like to see her look at you with loving and acepting eyes.

Instead of being scared and fearing the future you are not cherishing these moments. Don't worry about the future. What will be will be. Live in the moment. Cherish all the firsts you have together. If she is a good women and the feelings are mutual, you are in for the ride of your life.

When I close my eyes I can still remeber one of the first times my husband and I laid in bed together, not talking just holding eachother. I can still feel all the emotions running through me. We were both scared, unsure. We were both vunerable to eachother. When you open yourself up like that, that is trully when magic happens. That is when you can feel her soul asking and answering the same questions you have. Open yourself up to it. When it is real love, god, that feeling is sooooo wonderful. Nothing in this world is better than that feeling.

Embrace it. Throw away those fears.

 

[anabolicmd]

 

[shredawg]

Many, many years ago I was about the happiest person just to be alone. Never really would allow myself to get attached or involved in a serious relationship.

Well eventually I met this girl who no mater how hard I tried I couldn’t help falling for and we ended up getting married about 10 years ago. I wouldn’t change a thing about my wife. She is extremely loyal and very supportive of everything I do. She doesn’t care about material things, hell if we have a little extra money she would rather spend it on the kids or me then herself. She let me make trips to Vegas with friends, has no problem when I hang out with friends or spend hours a week in the gym, and she looks good as well . I could go on and on about her, but I wont bore you all.

Even having said all that I honestly still get angry and distant towards her from time to time. I do this because sometimes I think I am putting to much of my happiness in her hands now and get a bit scared because I know if it ended tomorrow I would have a very hard time being happy with myself on my own like I use to be. She can tell when I get in these moods but has no idea why, I just tell her I am under a lot of stress. She will do all she can to make me happier but when I am in this type of mood it just pushes me away more. This stuff has come and gone sence we got married and can last a week or a month. Usually happens when thing are at their best, I just start waiting for something to go wrong.

I feel at a disadvantage in the relationship because she had a few serious relationships before meeting me and knows how it feels to have love and lost. I on the other hand never allowed myself to get attached, things seem to get too serious I would bail out.

If I had to do it over I would not have been this way, I would have experienced what it is like to have someone special break things off with me. I think it would have made me a better stronger person in my relationships later in life.

Live life and get all the experiences you can good and bad, you will meet the right person and be a better happier person in the long run with no regrets. Trust me I know this to be true.