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Is everything forgivable?

fuck that....i never could do that to my gf....never...not worth it at all
 
wootoom said:
would it be bad just to do it once more? fuck im terrible lol
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it wood only be bad if you didn't...

1) put it in her ass

2) donkey punch her while plowing her fartbox and

3) wipe your dick off on her curtains before you leave

ass long as you cover those bases, it's a DAM






























Digi Approved Maneuver :FRlol:
 
AFeedz said:
I have no problem forgiving people. I can do it almost immediately with douchey exes and in more serious cases, people who have really done me harm.

I don't think forgiving someone means you aren't still hurt by an action, it just means you're no longer angry about a situation. How could you wait til you're not hurting anymore to forgive someone? It doesn't make sense to me. I need to forgive someone to start to heal, not heal to forgive.

I don't stay angry because there's just no point. Anger always does more harm to you than it does to someone else. You pick up a hot coal because you want to throw it at someone else and your hand is still the one that got burned.
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for me hurt and anger go hand in hand though.
When you're not hurt, there is then room to realize why that person did what they did, then maybe you can open it up to forgive.
If you can release anger, you're truly lucky. Anger is poison.
 
blueta2 said:
for me hurt and anger go hand in hand though.
When you're not hurt, there is then room to realize why that person did what they did, then maybe you can open it up to forgive.
If you can release anger, you're truly lucky. Anger is poison.
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totally, thats my weakness
 
Fuck that. A little hatred and anger never hurt anyone. There's one person I probably won't ever fully forgive and I'm ok with that.
 
AFeedz said:
I stay hurt for a while, angry not long at all and barely ever.
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Yeah, I don't stay angry for long either. I can let hurt go pretty easily too, I think.

But that part of my personality has been targeted by sketchy types too, so I'm not sure that's a good thing anymore. Anger can be good. Hate can be good. It can protect you, but once it's done it's job protecting you it can turn around and destroy you if you don't find ways to let it go. I don't like to play around with apathy. That might work for some people but I don't want anything or anyone to change who I am and that is not apathetic.

You really do have to feel all the hurt before you truly forgive someone that's really seriously hurt you though. That is really the only way that it works. Most anger is just hurt. If you're still angry you're still hurting from something and if you think you can just forget about it and shove it away somewhere that crap will pop up somewhere else, imo.

I'm talking about serious stuff too, childhood physical and sexual abuse, physically and psychologically abusive relationships and co-workers, infidelity, etc.
 
Blue, try praying to your higher power every day FOR this person to get better, or just for this person in general. I find it hard to believe that by doing that over time you won't forgive them. :heart: good luck
 
smurf2 said:
Fuck that. A little hatred and anger never hurt anyone. There's one person I probably won't ever fully forgive and I'm ok with that.
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I've never understood the hatred thing...I think the hatred card is used too casually; To me hatred means you would wish the person dead or kill them yourself if you could. The worst I feel is a little anger for how I was treated by the Army, not anything toward the Colonel that gave the scholarship to a Brigadiers son in the hope of getting out of TRADOC or the drill sergeants in BCT that indoctrinated us...or even the militarism I was raised with thanks to the "family tradition." In retrospect, I realize my father made a rebellious play by joining the navy instead of the Army like his brothers.

I can't say that I have ever felt hatred.
 
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so far in my life, I can forgive every wrong that i feel i was dealt. I don't have any grudges. I always wondered why so many people in hash situations advise me to forget it ever happened. I haven't been able to manipulate my memory and control what i remember and don't so its a little harder to let go of anger and resentment sometimes. Its just no fun being a grumpy person.
 
smurf2 said:
Fuck that. A little hatred and anger never hurt anyone. There's one person I probably won't ever fully forgive and I'm ok with that.
Click to expand...

It does hurt me though, Not that I need to forgive the world, but it's more of an understanding as to why people do messed up shit.
I've never been a serious abuser in any way, but I cheated on an ex 15 yrs ago. Was the dumbest thing I ever did, the man's wife even confronted me.
I took my lashings, got some help and asked for forgiveness, then forgave myself for being an asshole and never ever did it again, nor will I.
But you see, my wrong doings had nothing to do with my ex or this man's wife, it had to do with how little I felt about my own self. How hurt I was in my life then and how immature I was.
I actually saw this man's wife last summer at a party and we danced together, ate together and she hugged me.
I said to her "You're really strong to have forgiven me"
She said "What you did wasn't personal"

Take a BIG person to do that. I've forgiven some pretty harsh things, but a few things, I can't.

Do you wish you could forgive that certain person?
 
cindylou said:
Yeah, I don't stay angry for long either. I can let hurt go pretty easily too, I think.

But that part of my personality has been targeted by sketchy types too, so I'm not sure that's a good thing anymore. Anger can be good. Hate can be good. It can protect you, but once it's done it's job protecting you it can turn around and destroy you if you don't find ways to let it go. I don't like to play around with apathy. That might work for some people but I don't want anything or anyone to change who I am and that is not apathetic.

You really do have to feel all the hurt before you truly forgive someone that's really seriously hurt you though. That is really the only way that it works. Most anger is just hurt. If you're still angry you're still hurting from something and if you think you can just forget about it and shove it away somewhere that crap will pop up somewhere else, imo.

I'm talking about serious stuff too, childhood physical and sexual abuse, physically and psychologically abusive relationships and co-workers, infidelity, etc.
Click to expand...

Yes that!!

And I often meditate and often "pray" to my higher power for help with this.
My friend said to me "It's possible you hold on to anger because you feel comfortable there"

If someone let's say killed one of my cats, and then I found out this person had let's say autism, I would let it go, forgive and pray for that person, so why can't I forgive others who have serious mental health issues? Is it because they look, walk and talk "normal"
 
miplank said:
Y'all are being some big ass pussies. It's not like someone killed your child. They sucked another cock, or went balls deep in your sister. Who cares, get over it. Nothing you can do about it now so let it go and move on

Balee dat
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best got damn advice in whole thread, balee dat
 
EarthRider said:
best got damn advice in whole thread, balee dat
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Yes, but you would not be saying or feeling this if it was your wife who had her mouth latched on to some other guys scrotum and coming home to you every night kissing you with the mouth she just sucked another guys dick with! trust me!

You've never experienced deep betrayal and I hope you never do. I don't wish it on my worse enemy
 
I have never hurt anyone cause i am just a nice guy like that.

I don't get hurt easily cause I really don't give a fuck what others think or say other then my wife and parents.

well, sometimes plank hurts me, but i get over it
 
blueta2 said:
It does hurt me though, Not that I need to forgive the world, but it's more of an understanding as to why people do messed up shit.
I've never been a serious abuser in any way, but I cheated on an ex 15 yrs ago. Was the dumbest thing I ever did, the man's wife even confronted me.
I took my lashings, got some help and asked for forgiveness, then forgave myself for being an asshole and never ever did it again, nor will I.
But you see, my wrong doings had nothing to do with my ex or this man's wife, it had to do with how little I felt about my own self. How hurt I was in my life then and how immature I was.
I actually saw this man's wife last summer at a party and we danced together, ate together and she hugged me.
I said to her "You're really strong to have forgiven me"
She said "What you did wasn't personal"

Take a BIG person to do that. I've forgiven some pretty harsh things, but a few things, I can't.

Do you wish you could forgive that certain person?
Click to expand...
Absolutely not. I have no desire or intention to forgive him for the trauma myself and my son experienced because of him.
 
Absolutely not. There are some things that a person can absolutely not get forgiveness for.

Sent from my ADR6400L using EliteFitness
 
blueta2 said:
Yes that!!

And I often meditate and often "pray" to my higher power for help with this.
My friend said to me "It's possible you hold on to anger because you feel comfortable there"

If someone let's say killed one of my cats, and then I found out this person had let's say autism, I would let it go, forgive and pray for that person, so why can't I forgive others who have serious mental health issues? Is it because they look, walk and talk "normal"
Click to expand...

Okay, this is a total ADD post...lol. I'm everywhere. I read once that most predators don't know they are predators, and most prey don't know they're prey. You give someone access to delicate parts of your soul and they damaged it. Since I believe we are more than just our bodies, I think while people can hurt and kill someone physically, people can damage and try to kill someone's spirit or soul.

I think it's difficult because you were with him for so long and exposed to it for so long. It was truly traumatic for you, I truly believe that. I think it's comfortable because we want to think that all people have good in them, all problems can be solved, good will always win in the end, won't accept that some of us are just play things for sadistic people, and forces; just objects to them. We have to accept that these people exist and there is nothing we can do about it, and we don't want to. We want to hold them responsible, tell them how they are, why can't they see their disorder? It will drive us mad if we do this for too long, they will never see it. Sam Vankin calls it malignant optimism. Lol. I have it, I have this need to believe that good will always win over evil (it will) and order will always win over disorder, but I think some of us seem to delude ourselves into thinking we can control that victory in others ourselves when we can't. They have magical thinking but so do we. We don't want to accept that they are sick, we want to hold them responsible. When I was a kid I was exposed to someone that was really sick and fugged me up a little but instead of taking it personally I decided the person was sick and that I didn't want to internalize the sick just because I was exposed to the sick. I just sorta absorbed it, but I didn't keep it internalized. Pity is the word I'm looking for. Pity for him and sorrow for the world and humans as sick and cruel as we can be towards each other.

You've gone through all the stages of moving on. You've replenished your self esteem and grieved the person you were that trust and loved with innocence. You still have empathy, you're still able to feel love, even feel hate. Shouldn't we pity those who can't feel? They are miserable creatures; creating hell on earth for themselves, and they'll never have the ability to realize it. They will never get better unless by the grace and mercy of God. What a terrible, hellish, burning miserable existence. It makes my heart burn when I think these people live like this. This personal hell does not need a lock and chain on it's doors, these people don't want out.

No matter what anyone does to you they can not take away your ability to do good. You don't find forgiveness, just the place where you give it; it's an act of your own free will. We have the ability to hurt others just like others hurt us. If we see ourselves in them, we can see that they are just afraid; they have their own wounds, just like we do, we do and have hurt others too. Then, we will be able to see in ourselves our own inner darkness and allow our higher power (or ourselves, whatever your flavor) to give us the thing we always wanted ; real love.

Most people don't realize once they are in an intimate relationship that the other person you're with has given you access to their emotional pathways, access to the most vulnerable parts of their soul, and we have to watch who we give that access to ourselves, so we can never forget. So, while we have to guard our hearts we have to guard their hearts too (those who give us access to their hearts) With two people guarding and caring about the other person's heart and soul as much, even more than their own, I don't see how you can go wrong because there is no selfishness in that place and there is real agape divine love. Peter Kreeft calls that love hard and precious, like a diamond and I won't allow myself to love anyone again that can't grasp that.
 
javaguru said:
I've never understood the hatred thing...I think the hatred card is used too casually; To me hatred means you would wish the person dead or kill them yourself if you could. The worst I feel is a little anger for how I was treated by the Army, not anything toward the Colonel that gave the scholarship to a Brigadiers son in the hope of getting out of TRADOC or the drill sergeants in BCT that indoctrinated us...or even the militarism I was raised with thanks to the "family tradition." In retrospect, I realize my father made a rebellious play by joining the navy instead of the Army like his brothers.

I can't say that I have ever felt hatred.
Click to expand...

i could write a long ass list of people that clearly fall into the category of "the world would be a better place if this muh-fugger got dead"...hell...you could start with the whole damn country of france...
 
cindylou said:
Okay, this is a total ADD post...lol. I'm everywhere. I read once that most predators don't know they are predators, and most prey don't know they're prey. You give someone access to delicate parts of your soul and they damaged it. Since I believe we are more than just our bodies, I think while people can hurt and kill someone physically, people can damage and try to kill someone's spirit or soul.

I think it's difficult because you were with him for so long and exposed to it for so long. It was truly traumatic for you, I truly believe that. I think it's comfortable because we want to think that all people have good in them, all problems can be solved, good will always win in the end, won't accept that some of us are just play things for sadistic people, and forces; just objects to them. We have to accept that these people exist and there is nothing we can do about it, and we don't want to. We want to hold them responsible, tell them how they are, why can't they see their disorder? It will drive us mad if we do this for too long, they will never see it. Sam Vankin calls it malignant optimism. Lol. I have it, I have this need to believe that good will always win over evil (it will) and order will always win over disorder, but I think some of us seem to delude ourselves into thinking we can control that victory in others ourselves when we can't. They have magical thinking but so do we. We don't want to accept that they are sick, we want to hold them responsible. When I was a kid I was exposed to someone that was really sick and fugged me up a little but instead of taking it personally I decided the person was sick and that I didn't want to internalize the sick just because I was exposed to the sick. I just sorta absorbed it, but I didn't keep it internalized. Pity is the word I'm looking for. Pity for him and sorrow for the world and humans as sick and cruel as we can be towards each other.

You've gone through all the stages of moving on. You've replenished your self esteem and grieved the person you were that trust and loved with innocence. You still have empathy, you're still able to feel love, even feel hate. Shouldn't we pity those who can't feel? They are miserable creatures; creating hell on earth for themselves, and they'll never have the ability to realize it. They will never get better unless by the grace and mercy of God. What a terrible, hellish, burning miserable existence. It makes my heart burn when I think these people live like this. This personal hell does not need a lock and chain on it's doors, these people don't want out.

No matter what anyone does to you they can not take away your ability to do good. You don't find forgiveness, just the place where you give it; it's an act of your own free will. We have the ability to hurt others just like others hurt us. If we see ourselves in them, we can see that they are just afraid; they have their own wounds, just like we do, we do and have hurt others too. Then, we will be able to see in ourselves our own inner darkness and allow our higher power give us the thing we always wanted ; real love.

Most people don't realize once they are in an intimate relationship that the other person you're with has given you access to their emotional pathways, access to the most vulnerable parts of their soul, and we have to watch who we give that access to ourselves, so we can never forget. So, while we have to guard our hearts but we have to guard their hearts too. With two people guarding and caring about the other person's heart and soul as much, even more than their own, I don't see how you can go wrong because there is no selfishness in that place and there is real agape divine love. Peter Kreeft calls that love hard and precious, like a diamond and I won't allow myself to love anyone again that can't grasp that.
Click to expand...

Awesome post! All these years of therapy and not once did she ever put it in these well defined terms. Once again proving, only those who walked the road, know the true direction.
Thanks for this, really!
 
sterolizer said:
Forgiving doesn't mean you have to forget
Click to expand...
This, forgiving means no longer being angry and not holding something against someone, however, that doesnt completely change what has been said and done, I've been able to forgive people who never asked for forgiveness and never changed and yet have had a hard time forgiving those who were truly remorseful for their actions
 
cindylou said:
Yeah, I don't stay angry for long either. I can let hurt go pretty easily too, I think.

But that part of my personality has been targeted by sketchy types too, so I'm not sure that's a good thing anymore. Anger can be good. Hate can be good. It can protect you, but once it's done it's job protecting you it can turn around and destroy you if you don't find ways to let it go. I don't like to play around with apathy. That might work for some people but I don't want anything or anyone to change who I am and that is not apathetic.

You really do have to feel all the hurt before you truly forgive someone that's really seriously hurt you though. That is really the only way that it works. Most anger is just hurt. If you're still angry you're still hurting from something and if you think you can just forget about it and shove it away somewhere that crap will pop up somewhere else, imo.

I'm talking about serious stuff too, childhood physical and sexual abuse, physically and psychologically abusive relationships and co-workers, infidelity, etc.
Click to expand...

I'm talking about serious stuff also, aside from infidelity because I haven't been married and while it sucks, I don't consider cheating in a non-marital relationship to be in the same "serious" category as those various other forms of abuse.

I disagree though. I can't wait to forgive someone until after I've healed, even and especially with the serious stuff. As long as I'm still holding something against the person, I can't heal and I don't see how anybody could, but we're all different I guess.

Not to say I go forgive for the serious stuff immediately, but I have to and do forgive long before I'm done healing. I'll hurt much after I've already forgiven the person for what they've done.
 
AFeedz said:
I'm talking about serious stuff also, aside from infidelity because I haven't been married and while it sucks, I don't consider cheating in a non-marital relationship to be in the same "serious" category as those various other forms of abuse.

I disagree though. I can't wait to forgive someone until after I've healed, even and especially with the serious stuff. As long as I'm still holding something against the person, I can't heal and I don't see how anybody could, but we're all different I guess.

Not to say I go forgive for the serious stuff immediately, but I have to and do forgive long before I'm done healing. I'll hurt much after I've already forgiven the person for what they've done.
Click to expand...

I agree with what you're saying and that's the way it should go ideally, but when it does not happen that way automatically (which is what I think blue was trying to figure out...why can't I forgive person x when I forgave person y) was where I was going. It's not always a decision or an event, sometimes it is a process and for those of us who forgive easily it can be confusing and uncomfortable to not find your way through these things when it does not happen automatically. When you want to forgive and let go, but can't. I was talking about hurt, specifically hurt masquerading as anger. What I guess I was trying to say is that if you are angry and having trouble forgiving and want to let go of the anger, the process of finding the place where you're able to forgive is different when it does not just come, automatically...you have to recognize what you're actually feeling. Sometimes it does not happen as it should, like you are able to do. Sometimes you have to search for that place where you're able to give forgiveness, what comes automatically, or easily to you. That's all I was saying. :)
 
no it isnt, for example,I do not speak with my parents,rough child hood,dad is a drug addict, I often remember boiling water so I can have a hot bath because drugs were more important than his kids. eventually it spiralled into him stealing from family, and my mother stood by him condoning it.

they havent met my kid never will, even though last week my mother contacted me to tell me she has advanced colon cancer.

so no not everything is forgivable,and her illness doesnt erase the pain the two of them have caused me.
 
theoak01 said:
no it isnt, for example,I do not speak with my parents,rough child hood,dad is a drug addict, I often remember boiling water so I can have a hot bath because drugs were more important than his kids. eventually it spiralled into him stealing from family, and my mother stood by him condoning it.

they havent met my kid never will, even though last week my mother contacted me to tell me she has advanced colon cancer.

so no not everything is forgivable,and her illness doesnt erase the pain the two of them have caused me.
Click to expand...

Stop being a pussy. If people are able to forgive those who have committed murder to someone in their family or they love. Then anyone can forgive for anything. You're being a big bitch
 
anyone want a pic of my freshly manscaped taint? I nicked myself, so I can't promise it'll be pretty.
 
plank still hasnt sent me a pic of his wife, greedy ass nicca, i share but this mufucka cant meet me in the middle

weak azz
 
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