Is everything forgivable?

[*ebony*]

so far in my life, I can forgive every wrong that i feel i was dealt. I don't have any grudges. I always wondered why so many people in hash situations advise me to forget it ever happened. I haven't been able to manipulate my memory and control what i remember and don't so its a little harder to let go of anger and resentment sometimes. Its just no fun being a grumpy person.

 

[mistaballoonhands]

Forgiveness is a sign I weakness.

 

[blueta2]

Fuck that. A little hatred and anger never hurt anyone. There's one person I probably won't ever fully forgive and I'm ok with that.

It does hurt me though, Not that I need to forgive the world, but it's more of an understanding as to why people do messed up shit.
I've never been a serious abuser in any way, but I cheated on an ex 15 yrs ago. Was the dumbest thing I ever did, the man's wife even confronted me.
I took my lashings, got some help and asked for forgiveness, then forgave myself for being an asshole and never ever did it again, nor will I.
But you see, my wrong doings had nothing to do with my ex or this man's wife, it had to do with how little I felt about my own self. How hurt I was in my life then and how immature I was.
I actually saw this man's wife last summer at a party and we danced together, ate together and she hugged me.
I said to her "You're really strong to have forgiven me"
She said "What you did wasn't personal"

Take a BIG person to do that. I've forgiven some pretty harsh things, but a few things, I can't.

Do you wish you could forgive that certain person?

 

[blueta2]

Yeah, I don't stay angry for long either. I can let hurt go pretty easily too, I think.

But that part of my personality has been targeted by sketchy types too, so I'm not sure that's a good thing anymore. Anger can be good. Hate can be good. It can protect you, but once it's done it's job protecting you it can turn around and destroy you if you don't find ways to let it go. I don't like to play around with apathy. That might work for some people but I don't want anything or anyone to change who I am and that is not apathetic.

You really do have to feel all the hurt before you truly forgive someone that's really seriously hurt you though. That is really the only way that it works. Most anger is just hurt. If you're still angry you're still hurting from something and if you think you can just forget about it and shove it away somewhere that crap will pop up somewhere else, imo.

I'm talking about serious stuff too, childhood physical and sexual abuse, physically and psychologically abusive relationships and co-workers, infidelity, etc.

Yes that!!

And I often meditate and often "pray" to my higher power for help with this.
My friend said to me "It's possible you hold on to anger because you feel comfortable there"

If someone let's say killed one of my cats, and then I found out this person had let's say autism, I would let it go, forgive and pray for that person, so why can't I forgive others who have serious mental health issues? Is it because they look, walk and talk "normal"

 

[blueta2]

Forgiveness is a sign I weakness.

Au contraire, mon frère

 

[mistaballoonhands]

Frere doesn't mean friend does it?

 

[blueta2]

it means Brother, or bro, or brutha

 

[wootoom]

We got to pray just to make it today

 

[mistaballoonhands]

it means Brother, or bro, or brutha

Okay good

 

[cindylou]

hot. speak to me like that, blue