Internet Romance

[Tatyana]

I have met someone, sort of by accident on line, through a BBing forum.

We have known each other for two years, bouncing comments off each other, we have had a shared blog on one site for eight months.

We have recently started to MSN and last night we spent five hours, FIVE HOURS on the phone (thank goodness I am not studying right now).

We really click, right now I am trying to view it as a friendship, but I think I am really falling for him.

We will meet in six months, he lives a LONG way away from me, and we have left it quite casual, as you don't really know if you will click in real life, although I do know that we will be friends, enjoy each other's company and have fun while I am visiting.

I think that meeting someone this way is great, as you do get to know them, their personality, everything about them, without the whole temptation of getting physical too soon.

Has anyone else had a similar experience?

Any words of wisdom?

 

[Thandie]

I have met someone, sort of by accident on line, through a BBing forum.

We have known each other for two years, bouncing comments off each other, we have had a shared blog on one site for eight months.

We have recently started to MSN and last night we spent five hours, FIVE HOURS on the phone (thank goodness I am not studying right now).

We really click, right now I am trying to view it as a friendship, but I think I am really falling for him.

We will meet in six months, he lives a LONG way away from me, and we have left it quite casual, as you don't really know if you will click in real life, although I do know that we will be friends, enjoy each other's company and have fun while I am visiting.

I think that meeting someone this way is great, as you do get to know them, their personality, everything about them, without the whole temptation of getting physical too soon.

Has anyone else had a similar experience?

Any words of wisdom?

First I want to start by saying that it's great you met someone whom you have a connection with. It really doesn't happen often; and spending 5 hours talking is just awesome. I remember doing that not so far long ago. However, I'm from NY and we're very careful and suspecious. My advise is to let him come to meet you in your enviroment, not YOU going some place far away without knowing if you two are going to click IN PERSON as you have on line, which is not the same.
You really don't know this person and for all intent and purposes he can be the best thing that walked to this earth, but better be safe then sorry. Please consider him coming to you and let a friend know where you're meeting and details about it.

I really, really, really hope is nothing, but I want you to be safe.

 

[Bikini Mod]

I met my Old Grump online. We got married on our third date - definitely NOT something that either one of us advise that you try at home. LOL We were both older, married, had kids, been through the divorce ringer/custody battles, etc, etc etc. But most importantly, we were VERY experienced internet daters.

Caution is the word of the day, especially since you've not had an internet relationship before. The fact that it has germinated over the course of such a good length of time is in your favor, most definitely. However, that doesn't mean that he is who he says he is, especially if he has a strong online persona on bbing forums.

I lived a REALLY REALLY BAD experience of exactly that nature. I fell in love with a man's online persona and talked myself into believing that the man I met IRL was who I fell in love with. NOT.

Ironically enough I'd only met and fallen in love with two Rangers. I married THE REAL MAN.

Goodness, I really do have to stop dragging my feet and get my online dating book out there already.

 

[Tatyana]

His online persona is not really representative of who he is, he is very funny and a bit outrageous on-line (public).

I saw through the persona ages ago and we started conversing like real people some time ago as well.

I will be cautious, but I have met quite a few people that I know from BBing forums IRL, not romantically though.


I don't know if we will be able to meet for another six months, I am looking into various possibilities to be able to go sooner, but I also have a trip to the States to see my parents in three months.

LOL, married on the third date. That is awesome.

One of us would have to immigrate if things worked out.

I have immigrated before, and as much as I love England, I would move.

I could also take a one year sabatical from my job, so I could go and see if I like living in this other country, test the waters so to speak.

 

[superqt4u2nv]

I have been there done that bottom line is most likely you will click in person. Then your left with the tortures of an LD not saying it can not work just odds are against it working IMO.

 

[the_alcatraz]

I met my wife online. We had a long distance relationship for a while and then we got together.

 

[superqt4u2nv]

I met my wife online. We had a long distance relationship for a while and then we got together.

This is girl talk my dear you have a penis just saying

 

[Bikini Mod]

I have been there done that bottom line is most likely you will click in person. Then your left with the tortures of an LD not saying it can not work just odds are against it working IMO.

But even when you click, is that real?

That is what I am trying to say. The first ranger I met with, yea we clicked, but bigtime. Too bad it took me close to two years to realize he was not who I had fallen in love with AT ALL, but only his online persona that he tried like a mofo to live up to in real time.

Me and my husband both, we were EXACTLY who we portrayed ourselves to be online. He was THE REAL MAN that I married... the REAL RANGER... not the online one. LOL

 

[Thandie]

But even when you click, is that real?

That is what I am trying to say. The first ranger I met with, yea we clicked, but bigtime. Too bad it took me close to two years to realize he was not who I had fallen in love with AT ALL, but only his online persona that he tried like a mofo to live up to in real time.

Me and my husband both, we were EXACTLY who we portrayed ourselves to be online. He was THE REAL MAN that I married... the REAL RANGER... not the online one. LOL

That is also what I was trying to say as well. What he says he is, most likely is not, BIG TIME!

 

[ironwings]

Just FYI... I have met many on line and have never had a bad experience - but I'm sure I am lucky. I met my bf online and the beauty of it is that we could be real with each other because we had no conception of ever being together - we were not on a dating site. It was great - I knew so much about him that I wouldn't have known if we were to have met conventionally.

Always be safe.

 

[Bikini Mod]

Just FYI... I have met many on line and have never had a bad experience - but I'm sure I am lucky. I met my bf online and the beauty of it is that we could be real with each other because we had no conception of ever being together - we were not on a dating site. It was great - I knew so much about him that I wouldn't have known if we were to have met conventionally.

Always be safe.

The internet persona Ranger (which he was a ranger - just not a REAL MAN) and I did not meet on a dating site either. LOL We met here. The only man in all the years I have been on elite that I was ever involved with in any way, shape or form past FRIEND - PERIOD.

My husband, the REAL MAN who was also a Ranger and I did meet on a dating site. But as I said, we were very experienced internet daters and not looking to bullshit anyone.

I would say that like 98% of men I met online (I dated exclusively online) were very nice men but we just didn't gel or click for one reason or another. 1.9% were scary whackjobs. And well, I married the .1%... my Old Grump.

 

[Tatyana]

We are working on arrangements to meet up for New Year's eve.

It is still a bit in the air though.

I meet a lot of lovely men, just not that many that I really, really click with.

I am finding all the planning very exciting, I am loving it.

I am in the States in Feb/March, and I have a date with another lovely man, which is one reason I am rushing this one a bit (really, if it is the right person for you, (even though I don't like the term 'right' I can't think of anything better) then a few months doesn't make that much difference.

Call me funny, but if I do really hit it off with this man, then I am going to have to change the date to a let's hang out like mates as I am all loved up.

 

[Bikini Mod]

We are working on arrangements to meet up for New Year's eve.

It is still a bit in the air though.

I meet a lot of lovely men, just not that many that I really, really click with.

I am finding all the planning very exciting, I am loving it.

I am in the States in Feb/March, and I have a date with another lovely man, which is one reason I am rushing this one a bit (really, if it is the right person for you, (even though I don't like the term 'right' I can't think of anything better) then a few months doesn't make that much difference.

Call me funny, but if I do really hit it off with this man, then I am going to have to change the date to a let's hang out like mates as I am all loved up.

I feel you on everything you say Tatyana - about hardly EVER clicking with anyone and also about the fun of the anticipation. I was a *professional dater* for quite a while. LOL The furthest I was ever flown for a date was from Paris, France to Oklahoma City, OK. OMG you wanna talk BITTER disappointment! We went to the Bass Pro Shop - I shit you not. The quickest I'd ever traveled after e-meeting someone? I read a profile in the early AM - we spoke on the phone shortly thereafter. I was on a plane from New Jersey to Santa Monica, CA THAT EVENING! LOL

Fun, fun, fun...

 

[the_alcatraz]

I met my wife online. We had a long distance relationship for a while and then we got together.

OMGosh....lol

I didn't notice...I'll stay out of it then...sorry

 

[Stefka]

I have met someone, sort of by accident on line, through a BBing forum.

We have recently started to MSN and last night we spent five hours, FIVE HOURS on the phone (thank goodness I am not studying right now).

We really click, right now I am trying to view it as a friendship, but I think I am really falling for him.

That was me this time last year. I felt ridiculous having an "e-crush," but that ended up being the beginning of the best relationship I have ever been in.

 

[superqt4u2nv]

That was me this time last year. I felt ridiculous having an "e-crush," but that ended up being the beginning of the best relationship I have ever been in.

Aww this post makes me feel so jaded. It for sure can work it is just so hard if there is a great distance between the two people.

 

[Bikini Mod]

Aww this post makes me feel so jaded. It for sure can work it is just so hard if there is a great distance between the two people.

QT you are not jaded, just realistic. A great distance is certainly a HYUGE impact on a relationship.

 

[Thandie]

QT you are not jaded, just realistic. A great distance is certainly a HYUGE impact on a relationship.

I agree. It's not jaded, that's definitely realistic!

 

[Tatyana]

I feel you on everything you say Tatyana - about hardly EVER clicking with anyone and also about the fun of the anticipation. I was a *professional dater* for quite a while. LOL The furthest I was ever flown for a date was from Paris, France to Oklahoma City, OK. OMG you wanna talk BITTER disappointment! We went to the Bass Pro Shop - I shit you not. The quickest I'd ever traveled after e-meeting someone? I read a profile in the early AM - we spoke on the phone shortly thereafter. I was on a plane from New Jersey to Santa Monica, CA THAT EVENING! LOL

Fun, fun, fun...

LOL, I can't believe you did that.


Yes, long distance has a huge impact on a relationship, but being a girl I have thought out a few of those things in advance.

Obviously if it works out, one of us is going to have to immigrate.

Still early days, another three hours on the phone yesterday, and probably about three hours on MSN.

 

[Bikini Mod]

LOL, I can't believe you did that.


Yes, long distance has a huge impact on a relationship, but being a girl I have thought out a few of those things in advance.

Obviously if it works out, one of us is going to have to immigrate.

Still early days, another three hours on the phone yesterday, and probably about three hours on MSN.

LOL Trust me when I tell you that NO internet psycho will pay for a woman's expenses to meet him *just to hack her up*.

I hope ya'll don't think that I EVER laid out a dime (once I *got it*) to even travel AN HOUR to meet a man... did ya'll?

 

[Tatyana]

LOL BM, you do make me smile.

I prefer to pay my own way, it is a thing my mother really emphasised.

I am really grateful now, as I do have a career that allows me to be financially independent, and when I do look around, there are so many women in minimal paying jobs that they would never be able to support themselves, let alone their children on.

This is especially true for the first few dates, I am always torn about splitting the cost, men often do like to pay for the date.

Obviously as you start dating more or are in a relationship, then you do split expenses and treat each other.

Update on romance: I think we spent about 8 hours on the phone in total, probably about 5 hours on MSN.

I have tentatively booked a hotel in the city where he lives for our NYE date.

 

[Bikini Mod]

LOL BM, you do make me smile.

I prefer to pay my own way, it is a thing my mother really emphasised.

I am really grateful now, as I do have a career that allows me to be financially independent, and when I do look around, there are so many women in minimal paying jobs that they would never be able to support themselves, let alone their children on.

This is especially true for the first few dates, I am always torn about splitting the cost, men often do like to pay for the date.

Obviously as you start dating more or are in a relationship, then you do split expenses and treat each other.

Update on romance: I think we spent about 8 hours on the phone in total, probably about 5 hours on MSN.

I have tentatively booked a hotel in the city where he lives for our NYE date.

Tatyana I am all about being "strong and independent". I have been "doin it for myself" for a long damned time... that is, until I learned how to accept the advances of true gentlemen.

I truly do not understand how a woman insisting on paying her way demonstrates anything more than how she doesn't trust a man to be A MAN.

I am sure that the men you are planning on meeting are lovely fellows but believe me when I tell you that no matter how financially pressed a man is, if he REALLY "feels the man" he wouldn't accept your money, especially not right out of the starting gate.

I address how "strong and independent" women actually turn off many men of high value OFF with this attitude (I used to feel that way too, believe me) in the chapter of my book titled "The Independent Woman Trap." <--- in other words we do it to ourselves.

Even if you had more money than Sir Paul McCartney, and he didn't have more than a churchmouse, a high-value male would still not accept you paying for things, especially not early in the relationship.

Men value beauty and women value security, all else stems from this.

A man would be made to feel less the man if he would accept the lady who he is courting to pay for anything. If the relationship becomes longterm then there is no more "his money" or "her money" but only OUR money.

And yes I do understand the importance of women being and remaining financially independent of men. Your mother taught you VERY WELL, Tatyana. However, we as women have sorta screwed ourselves by insisting on flexing our financial muscles too early in the courting process. This doesn't attract high value men. It actually turns them off and the only ones you are left with are the duds (like razorguns) who openly brag (when no woman who they want to boink are within earshot, of course), "I'll be damned if I let any broad 'sucker me into buying them a drink'. I wait till she puts her own money on the bar or some other sucker pay and I move in once I see I have the chance to mak her on FOR FREE."

You think I'm exaggerating? Just read some of the crap that guys post on chat/between the sheets/players board.

The second you extend yourself to a man, he will LET YOU KEEP DOING IT. You do it upfront, then you have set the standard and there is no going back. And then you end up asking yourself (my husband and I have interviewed countless desireable women of all ages), "Why are men such jerks?"

 

[Thandie]

Tatyana I am all about being "strong and independent". I have been "doin it for myself" for a long damned time... that is, until I learned how to accept the advances of true gentlemen.

I truly do not understand how a woman insisting on paying her way demonstrates anything more than how she doesn't trust a man to be A MAN.

I am sure that the men you are planning on meeting are lovely fellows but believe me when I tell you that no matter how financially pressed a man is, if he REALLY "feels the man" he wouldn't accept your money, especially not right out of the starting gate.

I address how "strong and independent" women actually turn off many men of high value OFF with this attitude (I used to feel that way too, believe me) in the chapter of my book titled "The Independent Woman Trap." <--- in other words we do it to ourselves.

Even if you had more money than Sir Paul McCartney, and he didn't have more than a churchmouse, a high-value male would still not accept you paying for things, especially not early in the relationship.

Men value beauty and women value security, all else stems from this.

A man would be made to feel less the man if he would accept the lady who he is courting to pay for anything. If the relationship becomes longterm then there is no more "his money" or "her money" but only OUR money.

And yes I do understand the importance of women being and remaining financially independent of men. Your mother taught you VERY WELL, Tatyana. However, we as women have sorta screwed ourselves by insisting on flexing our financial muscles too early in the courting process. This doesn't attract high value men. It actually turns them off and the only ones you are left with are the duds (like razorguns) who openly brag (when no woman who they want to boink are within earshot, of course), "I'll be damned if I let any broad 'sucker me into buying them a drink'. I wait till she puts her own money on the bar or some other sucker pay and I move in once I see I have the chance to mak her on FOR FREE."

You think I'm exaggerating? Just read some of the crap that guys post on chat/between the sheets/players board.

The second you extend yourself to a man, he will LET YOU KEEP DOING IT. You do it upfront, then you have set the standard and there is no going back. And then you end up asking yourself (my husband and I have interviewed countless desireable women of all ages), "Why are men such jerks?"

Wow, you're so right. I couldn't say it better myself.

 

[Bikini Mod]

Believe me Thandie... took me coupla years and waaaaaaaaaaay more dates than I care to remember to figure this stuff out. It was damn near exhausting LOL

Believe it or not MOST of what I have come to learn about men I learned from my husband. He sold out every single dirty "man secret".... you know, the ones that men swear on their balls NEVER to let a woman know? Deny, deny, deny that shit to us but as soon as they don't think a woman is listening they CACKLE and slap one another on the back for women "not knowing" and buying into that "it ain't that way."

 

[Thandie]

Believe me Thandie... took me coupla years and waaaaaaaaaaay more dates than I care to remember to figure this stuff out. It was damn near exhausting LOL

Believe it or not MOST of what I have come to learn about men I learned from my husband. He sold out every single dirty "man secret".... you know, the ones that men swear on their balls NEVER to let a woman know? Deny, deny, deny that shit to us but as soon as they don't think a woman is listening they CACKLE and slap one another on the back for women "not knowing" and buying into that "it ain't that way."

I know it too well. Men always told me that and it took me years to learn it because I'm very independing. I once dated a much younger guy, (then moved in together) with less income and I suggested splitting everything in half. He really got used to it, then he started nickel and diming me, it then moved to he wanting me to pay for most things. I finally ended the relationship and a few months after he moved out he asked me for $10,000 he needed. I never spoke to him again. Not that I don't contribute with men, but when you're out to dinner and a guy sits there saying "you owed me $60.45 is a real turn off. I rather taking out sometimes or whatever.

BTW, he never got a dime out of me, but he kept on trying. I believe I created that by suggesting we splited everything, when he never had to do that in other past relationships. My husband now always tells me, "don't ever pay for any man; it will backfire on you". "Real" men feel needed/wanted and caring when they do. They want to feel they can care for you. Right, wrong or indifferent, that's what it is.
I'll never make that mistake again.

 

[Bikini Mod]

I know it too well. Men always told me that and it took me years to learn it because I'm very independing. I once dated a much younger guy, (then moved in together) with less income and I suggested splitting everything in half. He really got used to it, then he started nickel and diming me, it then moved to he wanting me to pay for most things. I finally ended the relationship and a few months after he moved out he asked me for $10,000 he needed. I never spoke to him again. Not that I don't contribute with men, but when you're out to dinner and a guy sits there saying "you owed me $60.45 is a real turn off. I rather taking out sometimes or whatever.

BTW, he never got a dime out of me, but he kept on trying. I believe I created that by suggesting we splited everything, when he never had to do that in other past relationships. My husband now always tells me, "don't ever pay for any man; it will backfire on you". "Real" men feel needed/wanted and caring when they do. They want to feel they can care for you. Right, wrong or indifferent, that's what it is.
I'll never make that mistake again.

Ding! Ding! Ding!

You don't drive/fly/train/walk whatever to him... HE COMES TO YOU. If he has a lovely home or offers to wonderful accomodations close-by and he lives in a place that you've not been or invites you along for a business trip then you go to him and he pays for every bit of it including a car to the airport or if you drove gas money and parking for you car. He is a man, isn't he?

Women have screwed themselves so badly that now they REALLY CAN "do it all for themselves." Hell, science allows us now to have a baby without a man. We just need his seed. We don't have have him sweaty and disjointed as he tries to *do his thang* (you ARENT in that picture LOL), we don't have to listen to him snore all night after he rolls over because he just thinks he did something and we don't have to get irritated that the asshole expects you to take care of the morning wood when already failed so miserably the night before. We don't have to cook him eggs and get irritated that he wouldn't take the trash out on his way out the front door.... NYICE

When a woman projects the whole "I don't NEED a man" image only NON-MEN will be attracted. In the beginning all will be roses and lollipops because of the excitement of the new experiences - ESPECIALLY if the men are VERY HOT - well-muscled pretty boyz, if they are smart too then the sex will be pretty intense, I've no doubt.... and then you start to realize that they are selfish broke-dick dogs with issues.

But daaaaaaaaaaammmmmmmmmmmmnnnn they were purhty.

(PS - I met hords of non-pretty looking bbers that also fit this profile to a T - not picking on anyone physical type, just that was the first group that popped into m'mind.)

 

[Tatyana]

So are you suggesting that I don't pay for my own hotel and have him pay for it?

How about the flight?

 

[Bikini Mod]

So are you suggesting that I don't pay for my own hotel and have him pay for it?

How about the flight?

I am specifically suggesting that you don't pay for SHIT...

You only accept the invitation if you are truly interested in the chap. Anything else would IMHO be immoral and would fall into the category of "user/empty" gold-digging type female.

You are exceptionally bright, good-hearted and a stunning beauty. If a man that wants to court you can not extend even that much at THE CHANCE to capture some of your time and attention, then where is HIS VALUE?

Trust me when I tell you that a man will step over his own mother to capture the attention of a female in whom he is interested. If he won't, then guess what? HE ISN'T WORTH YOUR TIME OR ATTENTION.

If I want to "hang out" 50/50 then I will do that with my girlfriends (who I know love me because they enjoy my company and not because they want my sex) or my family (who at the very least put up with me because they sorta have to LOL).

I AM DEAD SERIOUS.

 

[Tatyana]

I am not following you.

What does not paying for shit mean?

I have also changed things with meeting up with the second man in Feb, I am moving it to a friends domain, not that it hadn't been, but this is very much a platonic arrangement.

 

[Bikini Mod]

I am not following you.

What does not paying for shit mean?

I have also changed things with meeting up with the second man in Feb, I am moving it to a friends domain, not that it hadn't been, but this is very much a platonic arrangement.

That means that you don't pay for airfare, hotel, meals, parking, or any sort of incidentals connecting with the entire "date". You don't bring the dude a present as any sort of gesture. You don't bake cookies. You don't open doors. You wait for him to help you out of the car. You allow him to order for you. You allow him to help seat you.

If a man wants your attention then he must fight for it. Because he has gained it enough for you to have telephone and chat exchanges only means that he must move to the *next level* in order to KEEP IT.

You are like Missouri now. You are the, "SHOW ME" state.

He wants you?... then let him fight for THE CHANCE to capture you.

If he isn't willing to jump through hoops for you then guess what.. to quote a book written by A MAN "He's just not that into you". And do you not value yourself enough to only "be caught" by a man who would do nearly anything for you?

Where did I learn all of this?

FROM MEN.

Yup, my old grump gave up every single dirty little "man secret".

 

[Thandie]

That means that you don't pay for airfare, hotel, meals, parking, or any sort of incidentals connecting with the entire "date". You don't bring the dude a present as any sort of gesture. You don't bake cookies. You don't open doors. You wait for him to help you out of the car. You allow him to order for you. You allow him to help seat you.

If a man wants your attention then he must fight for it. Because he has gained it enough for you to have telephone and chat exchanges only means that he must move to the *next level* in order to KEEP IT.

You are like Missouri now. You are the, "SHOW ME" state.

He wants you?... then let him fight for THE CHANCE to capture you.

If he isn't willing to jump through hoops for you then guess what.. to phrase a book written by A MAN "He's just not that into you". And do you not value yourself enough to only "be caught" by a man who would do nearly anything for you?

Where did I learn all of this?

FROM MEN.

Yup, my old grump gave up every single dirty little "man secret".

LOl, I had a feeling Tat would not understand paying for shit. Welcome to the us of America.

BM is right. Even if a guy is not wealthy, he wants to impress the woman he wants. Unless he's selfish or not care or cheap, in which case it's not going to help you.
I wouldn't go as far as him having to pay for your trip to the loo, or he's going to think he's going to have to take care of everything you need. But he should pay for airfare, hotel, your meals and any outings you both have. When you're on your own and you want to do something without him; like breackfast at the hotel and he's not there, then you should pay for that.

Gog, I hope this works for you. This is not the way to get and education on MEN 101! But it is more complicated then we think. Apparently it has taken BM and I years to learn.

I also learned this from different men I've been involved with.

 

[Bikini Mod]

You are dead on Thandie... I love the comment about the loo! You shouldn't have to extend your hand to ask for a dollar to give the washroom attendant. LOL If you want to do something on your own then yes, be prepared to pay for that but if he wants to say pay for you to have massage/nails done or go shopping WITH YOU - then HE PAYS and you say, "Thank you." ...and accept it.

If I had my damned book available for ya'll to get a copy of then believe you me, all of this would be so much less complicated for both women AND men. The Old Grump collectively have had yeeeeeeeeears and thousands of dates between us, dates that were all over the world. We'd also interviewed thousands of men AND women in all sorts of social settings and had a radio show dealing with this specific topic.

Tatyana, I know all of this sounds foreign to you but when you adopt this new attitude you will see that the type of men that you attract will change greatly.

As for being *just friends* with the one guy... hear me loud and clear when I say this, "THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS A HETERO SINGLE MAN THAT REALLY AND TRULY WANTS A HETERO SINGLE FEMALE FRIEND." He may be able to *be OK* with it initially on the surface but eventually when he sees that you do NOT return his romantic interest he will become pissier with you than were you his wife and you'd sexed his best friend... welcome to bizaaro world because HELLO! You were ONLY his friend. But HE will not see it that way.

TRUST ME... Happened to me EVERY SINGLE TIME... since high school LOL

 

[Tatyana]

I think that there is some confusion, a few things have been lost as I haven't provided all the details and you may have gotten the wrong end of the stick.

I also think that there are a few cultural issues going on, as while that might be acceptable in the USA, the relationship between men and women is a bit different in England and Europe.

 

[Bikini Mod]

I think that there is some confusion, a few things have been lost as I haven't provided all the details and you may have gotten the wrong end of the stick.

I also think that there are a few cultural issues going on, as while that might be acceptable in the USA, the relationship between men and women is a bit different in England and Europe.

I am not confused. What would give you that impression?

I lived in Paris for six months and my sister lives in Eastern Europe, my husband dated all over the world. Believe me that I am well aware that the relationship between men and women is different than it is in the US... but truthfully, it really is not.

My husband and I dated internationally and the only difference is that sexually liberated women are not only more accepted in your world but it is also expected. Not to mention that in your part of the world a woman is *allowed to age*. HOWEVER, dear lady, it seems that you are almost *afraid* to ask to be elevated to the platform that you deserve.

I think that you are STUNNING - your mind, your character AND your body/face... Why do you feel that it is improper to be demanding?

I have a tremendous amount of respect for you. You don't have to volunteer ANY part of any *story*. I am telling you that there is NOTHING that you could tell me that would change my advice to you. If you think there is and you don't want to put it out here then, IF you wish, send it to me in a PM. If I am incorrect in my assertion, I will publicly acknowledge this and I will also place an addendum in my book.

Fair enough?

 

[Tatyana]

I think I was raised in a different way, I was going to uni with my father when I was under 5, my mother went back to work when I was very young, both went back to uni while I was in infants/elementary school, my mom made more money than my father and we had a unique non-traditional division of labour in my household.

While what you are saying may be great advice in the current or previous paradigm, I am out to create a new paradigm and a different sort of relationship/space between men and women.

I really don't get the concept of exchanging money for my 'value' or worth, and while it may be one measure of success, money is not the only measure of a good human being.

 

[lartinos]

You have european sensibilties that's all. I've dated woman from europe and they expect to pay half the bill, it's just a normal custom.
I wish we had more of that here, not so I could save money lol. (wouldn't hurt) But that the Euro girls like me for me and not what kind of car I driver or whatever. One girl told me she just doesn't get it that at all.

 

[the_alcatraz]

Wasn't this thread in girl talk?

 

[-Ariel-]

Tat I have no wisdom to offer well cause I just think your inner guide is way more robust/stentorian/pragmatic then my voice. However, I will say this that the internet obfuscated by our lack of cultural/self awareness is becoming more and more embedded with identity. Considering in the United States, unaware of Europe on this, however 26% or 17 million peeps are dating online, I know it's a different issue, however, I believe it is related. I can offer my own experience. I joined in March and this is my first board, I'm totally new. I used to only use the Internet for school predominantly, however, wanting do research on an upcoming 3rd cycle I found this place. One month later I find myself entrenched in C&C. Okay, so I broke up with my SO, like 4 months ago and then have dated 2 girls I met through the internet. The first, I met IRL and we had a connection, however she was an undergrad and only 21, I got tired of hanging out with her undergrad friends. I mean I felt like the old guy on some 90210 televison series. I am dating now a 23 year old, who is basically a female spiritual analogue of myself and it has been going well. She is in EL Paso working on her masters and teaches 6th grade. I spent 4 days 6 weeks ago with her. December its 10 days, the only hang up is obvious, the fact that I have to use SouthWest Airlines to get luvin. I am not for the current paradigm of technological knowledge that is our paradigm, however I will not get into that. What I will get into is that good or bad, online culture is expanding exponentially and while it is not a substitiute for Interpersonal friendship/bonding/intimacy it can be a supplement. The old adage of U take things too seriously, is proving to be contradictory, anything that U use as a medium to connect is going to be personal. In an age where meaning is becoming more important as a large proportion can take survival for granted, expression comes to the forefront, so that said... I'm all for Your Romance and meet up with this very, very forunate soul.
Take Care Gorgeous.
I hope U dug my Profile message.

 

[shrimp poboy]

I met my gf online as well.She reponded to a CL add i had we talked for 2mos met and within 15 minutes after meeting we were having sex and now we are happy as hell together.

 

[-Ariel-]

I met my gf online as well.She reponded to a CL add i had we talked for 2mos met and within 15 minutes after meeting we were having sex and now we are happy as hell together.

Peeps think my world is weird...
I have nothin on U playa...
Its like reality takin bong hits on U.
Your experience, dwarf mine in what U have seen, heard, tasted, felt. Its like the NC-17 version of National Geographic.
LOL

 

[EnderJE]

I hope it works out great for you.

 

[Dial_tone]

Start thinking NOW about whether you would want to live where he is now in terms of:

- being happy given distance to your family
- being able to make a living financially
- any age differences
- goals, children, etc
- When you visit them pay CLOSE attention to how they live.

I spent 2 yrs doing the long distance thing then moved in with them for the next 8 years only to find out she was a lot different from what I thought in terms of lifestyle and what she wanted in life.

 

[lartinos]

Start thinking NOW about whether you would want to live where he is now in terms of:

- being happy given distance to your family
- being able to make a living financially
- any age differences
- goals, children, etc
- When you visit them pay CLOSE attention to how they live.

I spent 2 yrs doing the long distance thing then moved in with them for the next 8 years only to find out she was a lot different from what I thought in terms of lifestyle and what she wanted in life.

Man long distance is tough, I think it's okay for shorter durations with a forseeable end. If it wasn't for my Ex needing to stay at UF an additional year I firmly believe we would still be together. I think DT broke everything down.

 

[puddlemonkey]

I met my gf online as well.She reponded to a CL add i had we talked for 2mos met and within 15 minutes after meeting we were having sex and now we are happy as hell together.

So basically it took you 2 months and 15 minutes to close the deal?

 

[puddlemonkey]

Trust me when I tell you that a man will step over his own mother to capture the attention of a female in whom he is interested.

Never!!!

 

[puddlemonkey]

Where did I learn all of this?

FROM MEN.

Yup, my old grump gave up every single dirty little "man secret".

Clearly he needs to be retrained (AKA beaten!)

 

[snacky cake]

Meeting people from online is like meeting them anywhere else. There are good people and bad people no matter where you meet them. You will find out once you meet him in person if he is what you had hoped for. =-)

 

[Dial_tone]

I didn't really find out until years after I moved to where she was that my internet SO:

- wasn't really a motivated career type person and actually wanted to be a stay at home girlfriend (that didn't want kids)
- was really quite messy but would spend a entire month cleaning before I'd come visit, and that's not exaggeration.
- was not really as active and outdoorsy as portrayed. She did the typical woman thing of doing the treadmill 90 minutes a day til she got a man then she gained about 80 lbs once I moved in.
- doesn't really like or want friends and if she could figure out a way to do would never leave the house as long as she lived.

all absolute truths.

 

[walliwalibus]

OMG.... Good Luck in your adventures and hope the best for you and your "friend".

The internet is the new meat market of finding secks. The club is the old way, which still proves to be quicker, less painful, and more stressful.

 

[puddlemonkey]

I didn't really find out until years after I moved to where she was that my internet SO:

- wasn't really a motivated career type person and actually wanted to be a stay at home girlfriend (that didn't want kids)

LOL Awesome!

 

[Beaverscratch]

Tatyana- If you like the guy and you do end up falling for him, ignore BM and others who tell you to play some game to make it work or to find a "real" man. This "Make him pay" and all that "trust me I know it all" talk is based on BM's past experiences and isnt neccesarily fact. You cant just label people or relationships. You can't predict what will happen either.

I think the guy will demand that he pay for everything anyway. I would never have dinner or any meal with a woman (even if she was my sister, aunt, friend) without paying for the meal. Some guys differ in that respect. It doesnt mean they arent "real men".

 

[puddlemonkey]

I pay for everything when I'm with a girl, but I do it because that's how I was raised and I want to, not because she demands it. If she starts demanding things, she's gone.

 

[ceo]

Tat I have no wisdom to offer well cause I just think your inner guide is way more robust/stentorian/pragmatic then my voice. However, I will say this that the internet obfuscated by our lack of cultural/self awareness is becoming more and more embedded with identity. Considering in the United States, unaware of Europe on this, however 26% or 17 million peeps are dating online, I know it's a different issue, however, I believe it is related. I can offer my own experience. I joined in March and this is my first board, I'm totally new. I used to only use the Internet for school predominantly, however, wanting do research on an upcoming 3rd cycle I found this place. One month later I find myself entrenched in C&C. Okay, so I broke up with my SO, like 4 months ago and then have dated 2 girls I met through the internet. The first, I met IRL and we had a connection, however she was an undergrad and only 21, I got tired of hanging out with her undergrad friends. I mean I felt like the old guy on some 90210 televison series. I am dating now a 23 year old, who is basically a female spiritual analogue of myself and it has been going well. She is in EL Paso working on her masters and teaches 6th grade. I spent 4 days 6 weeks ago with her. December its 10 days, the only hang up is obvious, the fact that I have to use SouthWest Airlines to get luvin. I am not for the current paradigm of technological knowledge that is our paradigm, however I will not get into that. What I will get into is that good or bad, online culture is expanding exponentially and while it is not a substitiute for Interpersonal friendship/bonding/intimacy it can be a supplement. The old adage of U take things too seriously, is proving to be contradictory, anything that U use as a medium to connect is going to be personal. In an age where meaning is becoming more important as a large proportion can take survival for granted, expression comes to the forefront, so that said... I'm all for Your Romance and meet up with this very, very forunate soul.
Take Care Gorgeous.
I hope U dug my Profile message.

Paragraphs man, paragraphs.

 

[ceo]

I pay for everything when I'm with a girl, but I do it because that's how I was raised and I want to, not because she demands it. If she starts demanding things, she's gone.

yep.

 

[desmond]

Just read through the entire thread. Interesting read. Some comments:

(1) Tat i see nothing wrong with internet dating. Never even attempted to do it, but we have to take risks in life, and i'm doubting the % of internet "psychos" exceed the % of psycho's generally
(2) Splitting bills: I'm a bit shocked that only real "men" insist on paying for the bill. The concept of NOT bill splitting seems absurd. Certainly, any women who believes in equal women's rights but not bill splitting is hypocritical essentially in my view; clinging to "privileges" of an outdated era would turn me off. I prefer independent, modern women who adopt this attitude at all times, not only when it suits them.
(3) I don't agree that men never want friendship only out of women. Whilst most of my closet friends are other guys, I have several extremely close female friends and not wanted anything more. And I can think of the same being true for many other male friends of mine.

 

[Thandie]

I think there's a lot of missunderstanding here. From the information we've gotten and so far all we know is that they talk for a long time on the phone and pm a great deal. We don't know how old he is, what he does, if he has children, etc.

I believe we were talking about the INITIAL meeting. People do what's best suited for them once they're compatible. If we are talking about sharing, then why does Tat has to: get time off from work, pay all her expenses, going to a place she's not familiar with to meet a practical stranger while he has to make no effort or make any expenses. I think that's a recipe for dissaster. If he either comes to her (which is what I initially suggested or they share the expense) then it sounds more reasonable then the way it's being planned. It's human nature that when one of the two parties starts assuming most of the effort, that's how the relationship will be established. And I'm not talking financial, just who's putting more into the relationship then the other. Unless you're very young or have never had a relationship, you don't know what I'm talking about.

I think we're also talking about a different generation, where I believe Tat is not in her 20's nor is the guy she's meeting (I guess) therefore is a bit different. Men from my generation tends to open doors (which I particularly don't care for since I can do that, but somehow they feel insulted, ha) and do other things that most young men (and not all) don't think about.

I'm personally looking out for her best interest and safety, since to me he's just a guy whom she seems to have a connection with, but don't know at all. I don't know Tatyana either, but I certainly know her a lot more then I know him. So I'll continue to believe she should be safe..

 

[beefcake28]

I pay for everything when I'm with a girl, but I do it because that's how I was raised and I want to, not because she demands it. If she starts demanding things, she's gone.

Exactly.

 

[UA_Iron]

When you meet him make sure he wears a condom. Dont fall for the "I'm on male birth control" line

 

[Smurfy]

lol BM went hog wild up in this piece

 

[Bikini Mod]

I think I was raised in a different way, I was going to uni with my father when I was under 5, my mother went back to work when I was very young, both went back to uni while I was in infants/elementary school, my mom made more money than my father and we had a unique non-traditional division of labour in my household.

While what you are saying may be great advice in the current or previous paradigm, I am out to create a new paradigm and a different sort of relationship/space between men and women.

I really don't get the concept of exchanging money for my 'value' or worth, and while it may be one measure of success, money is not the only measure of a good human being.

I do understand what you are saying 100%, believe me. But wanting to create a whole new paradigm functiong in a world where what I stated still exists, well, that will be a task. Not impossible - NOTHING is impossible, but you will most certainly find yourself flustered a time or six... as I did find myself on many occasions. The last time it happened is when I said, "I am tired of beating my head about the walls. I am not the one who created 'the rules' and I still think they suck but doing shit this way, well it just isn't working for me anymore." So instead of bucking the system I learned to function within it and found myself A LOT happier, a lot more quickly. The same happened to my two best gf's who recently got engaged; and they are in their mid 40's so they certainly spent their fair share of time "bucking the system" too. (PS - none of us EVER wanted to remarry... EVER )

I was raised in a traditional Eastern European household where even though my mother wanted to get a job outside the home to help with the bills, my father would not allow it. Interestingly enough this all changed when my parents bought a business when I was 11 and the bulk of the household duties shifted to me and then my little sister. My mother worked ALONGSIDE my father - one without the other would have = no money coming in. I was the same with my exhusband. We had our own business, both my mother and I WORKED (brought money in) but WE were the only ones to care for the household (with the exception of cutting the lawn and shoveling the snow) and the children too.

I only have an issue with the last sentence. What would make you think that I think that money has ANYTHING to do with a human being, being GOOD?

Money has ZERO to do with a human being good or bad. But the ability to generate a good/tremendous income most certainly DOES increase their desirability when it comes to selecting a life mate.

And DT - you are correct about not having common life goals (or being deceptive/deceived about it) is definitely something that will quickly erode an otherwise happy relationship. In the beginning when everything is fresh and new and exciting tiny little annoying habits might actually seem "charming". But as the newness of sex and the freshness of the situation wheres off these tiny charming quirks become tremendous sources of contention. Now add to the mix that you find that you don't really want YOUR LIFE to go in the direction of the other person and the powder keg quickly ignites leaving both parties scratching their heads wondering, "What THE HELL was I thinkin?"

 

[Bikini Mod]

I think there's a lot of missunderstanding here. From the information we've gotten and so far all we know is that they talk for a long time on the phone and pm a great deal. We don't know how old he is, what he does, if he has children, etc.

I believe we were talking about the INITIAL meeting. People do what's best suited for them once they're compatible. If we are talking about sharing, then why does Tat has to: get time off from work, pay all her expenses, going to a place she's not familiar with to meet a practical stranger while he has to make no effort or make any expenses. I think that's a recipe for dissaster. If he either comes to her (which is what I initially suggested or they share the expense) then it sounds more reasonable then the way it's being planned. It's human nature that when one of the two parties starts assuming most of the effort, that's how the relationship will be established. And I'm not talking financial, just who's putting more into the relationship then the other. Unless you're very young or have never had a relationship, you don't know what I'm talking about.

I think we're also talking about a different generation, where I believe Tat is not in her 20's nor is the guy she's meeting (I guess) therefore is a bit different. Men from my generation tends to open doors (which I particularly don't care for since I can do that, but somehow they feel insulted, ha) and do other things that most young men (and not all) don't think about.

I'm personally looking out for her best interest and safety, since to me he's just a guy whom she seems to have a connection with, but don't know at all. I don't know Tatyana either, but I certainly know her a lot more then I know him. So I'll continue to believe she should be safe..

Will you marry me?

I can also get my own door, but I choose NOT to. Matter of fact my husband gets offended if I reach for my own door. Here's a funny story, when I get pissed off at him I won't ALLOW HIM to open my door. But that is just us... It works for US.

As for the men talking about a woman DEMANDING he pay. Where did ya'll get the impression that A LADY would demand anything? If you don't do something that she would like then she doesn't demand it, she just won't return your call. It is THAT simple.

One of the lines that drew me most to my husband on his internet profile "I am very demanding, but I don't demand a thing." As soon as I read that I thought to myself, "This guy REALLY *gets it*"

As for anyone who made some sort of commented about how I fabricated any part of me or my life - which parts did I FABRICATE exactly?

Oh yea, I mean, with the exception of having a husband with a pulse. The IP's addys proved me out for a fibber long ass time ago... where you been since then?

 

[puddlemonkey]

As for the men talking about a woman DEMANDING he pay. Where did ya'll get the impression that A LADY would demand anything?

From you, post #34. You even put it in bold lol. You asked Tat, "Why do you feel that it is improper to be demanding?".

 

[Bikini Mod]

From you, post #34. You even put it in bold lol. You asked Tat, "Why do you feel that it is improper to be demanding?".

I can see where the two statements might seem confusing.

You can be demanding without ever demanding a thing.

Read what I wrote about my Old Grump's online dating profile.

 

[Tatyana]

Wasn't this thread in girl talk?

Yes, it was.

I moved it.

There were a few issues that came up that I was not entirely comfortable with, for example, that girltalk is not really exclusive for women and really is there a need for a forum that is exclusively female.

 

[samoth]

really is there a need for a forum that is exclusively female.

I agree completely. Then again, when male mods post there, others will follow their example. (Whether Shadow back in the day, or others now...)

 

[desmond]

It may be generational thing.

I certainly would not even think to open a girl's door. Not only would I assume the girl could do it, this degree of chivalry would be viewed cynically by most girls I know.

But I may be wrong. Most female friends of mine are through law school and may be atypical in this respect. And I have never had as friend "girly girls" who I'd expect even in this generation to be receptive to extreme chivalry.

But I still adhere firmly to the view that guys can be friends with girls without wanting more.

Thandie: I can understand your reasoning for the initial date given Tat is taking the time off work.

Will you marry me?

I can also get my own door, but I choose NOT to. Matter of fact my husband gets offended if I reach for my own door. Here's a funny story, when I get pissed off at him I won't ALLOW HIM to open my door. But that is just us... It works for US.

As for the men talking about a woman DEMANDING he pay. Where did ya'll get the impression that A LADY would demand anything? If you don't do something that she would like then she doesn't demand it, she just won't return your call. It is THAT simple.

One of the lines that drew me most to my husband on his internet profile "I am very demanding, but I don't demand a thing." As soon as I read that I thought to myself, "This guy REALLY *gets it*"

As for anyone who made some sort of commented about how I fabricated any part of me or my life - which parts did I FABRICATE exactly?

Oh yea, I mean, with the exception of having a husband with a pulse. The IP's addys proved me out for a fibber long ass time ago... where you been since then?

 

[Arabian]

Good luck

 

[Bikini Mod]

It may be generational thing.

I certainly would not even think to open a girl's door. Not only would I assume the girl could do it, this degree of chivalry would be viewed cynically by most girls I know.

But I may be wrong. Most female friends of mine are through law school and may be atypical in this respect. And I have never had as friend "girly girls" who I'd expect even in this generation to be receptive to extreme chivalry.

But I still adhere firmly to the view that guys can be friends with girls without wanting more.

Thandie: I can understand your reasoning for the initial date given Tat is taking the time off work.

You are partially correct. Here in the south that is still expected by most. Though I was born and raised in NJ for most of life I was raised very Eastern European and old-school. When I was a young girl I didn't *demand* these things *without demanding them* either. I rejected alot of how my parents raised me because "they were out of touch with reality and that was back in the day and my mother was old WTF did she know?"

Then as I grew up I realized that I prefered this sort of treatment by a man whose company I chose to keep. And the first old school gentleman I dated blew if for all other men. Believe it or not, he was POOR but was a southern gentleman. Ultimately I screwed some aspects of that up because I pursued, I gave too much and I LET HIM treat me like crap (aside from the old school southern manners, that is). I should have cut my feelings off THE FIRST TIME he treated me like crap and not carried a torch for nearly another year. But hey... live and learn, right?

I also have female friends who, like me, rejected the way we were raised and finally after being treated like crap by men because "we could do it ourselves and we didn't NEED a man to do it for us" they all saw that there had to be a better way. So they tried to employ the same point of view that I had come to realize to their own dating lives... and they became MUCH HAPPIER. As I said, both are now engaged to men who absolutely worship them.

May I ask you something? Could you see yourself absolutely worshipping the ground that your lady walks on? If she doesn't deserve this, then move on to finding one that does.

 

[-Ariel-]

Yes, it was.

I moved it.

There were a few issues that came up that I was not entirely comfortable with, for example, that girltalk is not really exclusive for women and really is there a need for a forum that is exclusively female.

Good Move
Better Sig.
Hi Tat.

 

[desmond]

Bikinimom:

I am glad your are currently very happy. Having said that I'm aware of women who are happy in less traditional relationships. Whatever works for the couple is great I guess

I do understand that if one is completely infatuated with another, this may lend itself to excessively chivalry. But I don't understand why it doesn't work both ways. I mean there is no reason why both the guy and girl can't do nice things for each other - taking/shouting out impromptu to some nice venue. Further, I can't see why these "nice things" are restricted to tradition - e.g., husband taking wife out to dinner; wife preparing husband a meal. The relationship can be equal and reciprocal in this regard I think.

The inequality of "traditional" relationships has practical virtues; it narrows areas of dispute if both parties accede "the traditional contract", as any activity will presumably be guided by one party without debate. But it would seem stifling and oppressive (to both parties) to me, preordaining our behavior to some degree.

Having said that, I have never been exceedingly infatuated with anyone; you have. So so far, its advantage you lol

You are partially correct. Here in the south that is still expected by most. Though I was born and raised in NJ for most of life I was raised very Eastern European and old-school. When I was a young girl I didn't *demand* these things *without demanding them* either. I rejected alot of how my parents raised me because "they were out of touch with reality and that was back in the day and my mother was old WTF did she know?"

Then as I grew up I realized that I prefered this sort of treatment by a man whose company I chose to keep. And the first old school gentleman I dated blew if for all other men. Believe it or not, he was POOR but was a southern gentleman. Ultimately I screwed some aspects of that up because I pursued, I gave too much and I LET HIM treat me like crap (aside from the old school southern manners, that is). I should have cut my feelings off THE FIRST TIME he treated me like crap and not carried a torch for nearly another year. But hey... live and learn, right?

I also have female friends who, like me, rejected the way we were raised and finally after being treated like crap by men because "we could do it ourselves and we didn't NEED a man to do it for us" they all saw that there had to be a better way. So they tried to employ the same point of view that I had come to realize to their own dating lives... and they became MUCH HAPPIER. As I said, both are now engaged to men who absolutely worship them.

May I ask you something? Could you see yourself absolutely worshipping the ground that your lady walks on? If she doesn't deserve this, then move on to finding one that does.

 

[EnderJE]

I didn't really find out until years after I moved to where she was that my internet SO:

- wasn't really a motivated career type person and actually wanted to be a stay at home girlfriend (that didn't want kids)
- was really quite messy but would spend a entire month cleaning before I'd come visit, and that's not exaggeration.
- was not really as active and outdoorsy as portrayed. She did the typical woman thing of doing the treadmill 90 minutes a day til she got a man then she gained about 80 lbs once I moved in.
- doesn't really like or want friends and if she could figure out a way to do would never leave the house as long as she lived.

all absolute truths.

She better have given up the buttsecks.

 

[Bikini Mod]

Bikinimom:

I am glad your are currently very happy. Having said that I'm aware of women who are happy in less traditional relationships. Whatever works for the couple is great I guess

I do understand that if one is completely infatuated with another, this may lend itself to excessively chivalry. But I don't understand why it doesn't work both ways. I mean there is no reason why both the guy and girl can't do nice things for each other - taking/shouting out impromptu to some nice venue. Further, I can't see why these "nice things" are restricted to tradition - e.g., husband taking wife out to dinner; wife preparing husband a meal. The relationship can be equal and reciprocal in this regard I think.

The inequality of "traditional" relationships has practical virtues; it narrows areas of dispute if both parties accede "the traditional contract", as any activity will presumably be guided by one party without debate. But it would seem stifling and oppressive (to both parties) to me, preordaining our behavior to some degree.

Having said that, I have never been exceedingly infatuated with anyone; you have. So so far, its advantage you lol

I was neither infuated with my husband, nor did I love him when I consented to marry him. But he DID and STILL DOES TO THIS DAY, worship me. And I have never behaved in such a way that he should not.

When a man worships a woman, it is her end of the deal to behave in such a way that it would warrant continued worship. <--- not such an easy task.

Past that, one must ask of their partner, "Are you a giver or a taker." There is no in-between. When two givers align, there is an endless circle of giving. What could be better than that?

 

[Frisky]

I am specifically suggesting that you don't pay for SHIT...

You only accept the invitation if you are truly interested in the chap. Anything else would IMHO be immoral and would fall into the category of "user/empty" gold-digging type female.

You are exceptionally bright, good-hearted and a stunning beauty. If a man that wants to court you can not extend even that much at THE CHANCE to capture some of your time and attention, then where is HIS VALUE?

Trust me when I tell you that a man will step over his own mother to capture the attention of a female in whom he is interested. If he won't, then guess what? HE ISN'T WORTH YOUR TIME OR ATTENTION.

If I want to "hang out" 50/50 then I will do that with my girlfriends (who I know love me because they enjoy my company and not because they want my sex) or my family (who at the very least put up with me because they sorta have to LOL).

I AM DEAD SERIOUS.

Gosh... I'm so with you on this one... And still find myself doing the exact opposite and getting the ticket... blah blah. I'm stubborn E, I so need some dating help!

 

[-Ariel-]

I was neither infuated with my husband, nor did I love him when I consented to marry him. But he DID and STILL DOES TO THIS DAY, worship me. And I have never behaved in such a way that he should not.

When a man worships a woman, it is her end of the deal to behave in such a way that it would warrant continued worship. <--- not such an easy task.

Past that, one must ask of their partner, "Are you a giver or a taker." There is no in-between. When two givers align, there is an endless circle of giving. What could be better than that?

+1
Great rebuttal
Great Post
Could not agree any more than I do.
Still nodding in approval. LOL

 

[cindylou]

I dont wanna be worshiped

I'd rather do the worshiping

Honestly. Is that effed up?

 

[-Ariel-]

I dont wanna be worshiped

I'd rather do the worshiping

Honestly. Is that effed up?

I want both... like I dig Me.
if she digs Me.. Well we have sometin in common.
Combine that with Me diiggin on her.
And she digs her.
Wow. 2 things.
2 things 9 times out of 10 leads to the 3rd.

The 3rd being the L word.
So yeah Balance, I guess.

No Cindy Not F'ed Up.

 

[Frisky]

I want both... like I dig Me.
if she digs Me.. Well we have sometin in common.
Combine that with Me diiggin on her.
And she digs her.
Wow. 2 things.
2 things 9 times out of 10 leads to the 3rd.

The 3rd being the L word.
So yeah Balance, I guess.

No Cindy Not F'ed Up.

we should get married... forget about Pdaddy... I don't think he's right for you

 

[-Ariel-]

we should get married... forget about Pdaddy... I don't think he's right for you

IN
Oh I meant Pdaddy, like don't tell him bout the rich sister as in I would get cawkblawked by that pimp.
LOL
He's a cutie sure, but yeah... I"m not gonna pull the thing his best friend did and try to kiss him.
Yeah, I've hoisted up some geigh,-shoe shoppin for U and lip glossin for Letto- but not gay. LOL
Hell yeah, we'd have to bring our ID's though.
Oh wait U are being facetious... Pawned x 2

 

[Frisky]

IN
Oh I meant Pdaddy, like don't tell him bout the rich sister as in I would get cawkblawked by that pimp.
LOL
He's a cutie sure, but yeah... I"m not gonna pull the thing his best friend did and try to kiss him.
Yeah, I've hoisted up some geigh,-shoe shoppin for U and lip glossin for Letto- but not gay. LOL
Hell yeah, we'd have to bring our ID's though.
Oh wait U are being facetious... Pawned x 2

I'd let you buy me all the shoes and lip gloss you ever wanted.

and I would never think you were geigh... hell the reward for such a generous act would be to die for...

 

[Smurfy]

which one of you jamokes it gonna pay my electric bill this month?

 

[-Ariel-]

I'd let you buy me all the shoes and lip gloss you ever wanted.

and I would never think you were geigh... hell the reward for such a generous act would be to die for...

The thing is like Martial Art training + Prodigious Workout Fiend + Southern Hawtness=
6 times a day.
I'd have to show the Crouching Tiger my Hidden Dragon.
-I'm not even sure what that means, it just sound good...-
LOL

 

[Bikini Mod]

I dont wanna be worshiped

I'd rather do the worshiping

Honestly. Is that effed up?

I am not judging dear lady.

I used to be JUST LIKE YOU... then I got tired of getting the short end of the stick.

The first time you get treated like you are the only woman on the planet after being taken for granted and being treated like shit your whole life, you get hooked.

Then it's a matter of finding a guy who is a good guy (a lot of men use the "worship game" to pull the wool over a woman's eyes just so they can tag that, then do whatever they want and keep coming back for more free ass as long as that woman will allow).

IMHO THE ONLY REASONS ONE SHOULD CHOOSE A LIFE PARTNER:

1. LIKE

2. RESPECT

3. COMMON LIFE GOALS


If any one of these components is missing, it will not work longterm period.... I don't care how good *the sex* is. LOL ... or how much one *thinks* they love that other person.

 

[Thandie]

I want both... like I dig Me.
if she digs Me.. Well we have sometin in common.
Combine that with Me diiggin on her.
And she digs her.
Wow. 2 things.
2 things 9 times out of 10 leads to the 3rd.

The 3rd being the L word.
So yeah Balance, I guess.

No Cindy Not F'ed Up.

I like that!!

 

[Frisky]

The thing is like Martial Art training + Prodigious Workout Fiend + Southern Hawtness=
6 times a day.
I'd have to show the Crouching Tiger my Hidden Dragon.
-I'm not even sure what that means, it just sound good...-
LOL

Suddenly I feel some love...

I like to Crouch, and I like to Hide... I say we just do it!

 

[Grumpy Old Man]

I am not judging dear lady.

I used to be JUST LIKE YOU... then I got tired of getting the short end of the stick.

The first time you get treated like you are the only woman on the planet after being taken for granted and being treated like shit your whole life, you get hooked.

Then it's a matter of finding a guy who is a good guy (a lot of men use the "worship game" to pull the wool over a woman's eyes just so they can tag that, then do whatever they want and keep coming back for more free ass as long as that woman will allow).

IMHO THE ONLY REASONS ONE SHOULD CHOOSE A LIFE PARTNER:

1. LIKE

2. RESPECT

3. COMMON LIFE GOALS


If any one of these components is missing, it will not work longterm period.... I don't care how good *the sex* is. LOL ... or how much one *thinks* they love that other person.

I'm pretty fortunate.

 

[puddlemonkey]

I'm pretty fortunate.

That she hasn't castrated you yet?

 

[pdaddyII]

Post up a decent picture of your face, and i will let you know the outcome.

kthankbye

 

[Grumpy Old Man]

That she hasn't castrated you yet?

Nah, too late she already has my balls in her purse. And yes, I am P-whipped also.

 

[-Ariel-]

Nah, too late she already has my balls in her purse. And yes, I am P-whipped also.

LOL
Hey GOM.

 

[Sub-Zero]

yal married yet?

 

[binö]

damn son

 

[the_alcatraz]

Useless thread bump - thread closed.