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I'm pretty sure I know what advice I'm going to give, but would like to hear your take...
- Thread starter -Ariel-
- Start date
a misunderstanding? so maybe he's only smoking up 12/7 instead of 24/7. we dont know the details but frankly, she does and she isnt happy with it. yes, she should express her concerns (isnt that a given?) but if she thinks he is going to stop smoking pot of only smoke when she says he can, then she's foolish.nimbus said:
walliwalibus
New member
Open for discussion, i dunno, its like you eiter you like it or not.
Re: I'm pretty sure I know what advice I'm going to give, but would like to hear your
That said, she is my friend, not him, and I think what bothers her is she is torn between her head and her heart, first, to make the guy stop smoking is ridiculous in my opinion, because that will have major physiological and psychological effects... he will most likely have a different persona, and studies show giving up chronic weed smoke, causes huge elevations in anxiety and depression.... dude is not smoking cause he wants to be high all the time, if you are smoking 24/7 it is to avoid some unpleasant feelings. I have no problem with occasionally smoking, and who the fuck am I to be the judge of what is an acceptable smoke schedule? However, dude is an accountant and is responsible for other people's money, and would you want your accountant to be high all the time? I'm one of the most liberal motherfuckers you will meet, however this situation just sounds like trouble in the future. I owe this friend alot, she has pulled me out of a jam or two in the past, and I think what she expected to hear, was not what I told her. I specifically reiterated, I suck at giving relationship advice, because I'm not even close to being knowledgeable in them, and every relationship is unique, and has different rules that make it work. I may have been totally wrong in what I told her, and really just wanted to give my take and get off the phone, cause yesterday I didn't feel like talking on the phone, but did so cause I owe her, second I hate being the voice that promotes ending a relationship. I hate that role. Nimbus may be correct, a compromise could have been met, I'm really unsure. However, I agree with smurfy that even to consider a stop in smoke at all would not be fair to him or her.
This is completely my fault about failing to mention that she did confront him that smoking out so much bothers her, he convincingly argued that he functions just fine while smoking and that he has a lot of stress in his job, which is why uses weed to chill him out. I'm sorry for the oversight, which is huge cause that is a very important issue. I am really unsure what I told her was really the best thing to say. However, the reason I don' t like giving relationship advice is first, I am told objective facts, and given a description, however, there are two things which are missing that are huge, I don't know how they subjectively interact... I'm unfamiliar with their relationship pattern, ie does she light up when he is around, does he put her at ease as well as make her laugh? I'm unable to perceive the inner dynamics of how they connect. My friend is very smart, independent, and a total hawtie, and the fact that she would even consider dating a guy who is high all the time, tells me that first the dude has major game, second, he must be really good at his job and pulling down good dough, third, sounds like a dude who is personable and a good bro to kick it with.nimbus said:
That said, she is my friend, not him, and I think what bothers her is she is torn between her head and her heart, first, to make the guy stop smoking is ridiculous in my opinion, because that will have major physiological and psychological effects... he will most likely have a different persona, and studies show giving up chronic weed smoke, causes huge elevations in anxiety and depression.... dude is not smoking cause he wants to be high all the time, if you are smoking 24/7 it is to avoid some unpleasant feelings. I have no problem with occasionally smoking, and who the fuck am I to be the judge of what is an acceptable smoke schedule? However, dude is an accountant and is responsible for other people's money, and would you want your accountant to be high all the time? I'm one of the most liberal motherfuckers you will meet, however this situation just sounds like trouble in the future. I owe this friend alot, she has pulled me out of a jam or two in the past, and I think what she expected to hear, was not what I told her. I specifically reiterated, I suck at giving relationship advice, because I'm not even close to being knowledgeable in them, and every relationship is unique, and has different rules that make it work. I may have been totally wrong in what I told her, and really just wanted to give my take and get off the phone, cause yesterday I didn't feel like talking on the phone, but did so cause I owe her, second I hate being the voice that promotes ending a relationship. I hate that role. Nimbus may be correct, a compromise could have been met, I'm really unsure. However, I agree with smurfy that even to consider a stop in smoke at all would not be fair to him or her.
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