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walliwalibus
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Agreed. I could think of hundreds of things my wife does that just bugs the sheitte outta me, maybe this is a biggie on her list. Agreed. Mellow too..... now exhale.
I'm pretty sure I know what advice I'm going to give, but would like to hear your take...
- Thread starter -Ariel-
- Start date
I agree with the Donut Lover. No ultimatums like that.
Waht I would do is tell him she's leaving because their lives are going "in opposite directions" or whatever, and if things change later on, they can always give it another go. No hard feelings, blah blah, but she can't really "accept" his 24/7 smoking. Stuff like that.
Ariant, I'm coming to your place with some beer.
Waht I would do is tell him she's leaving because their lives are going "in opposite directions" or whatever, and if things change later on, they can always give it another go. No hard feelings, blah blah, but she can't really "accept" his 24/7 smoking. Stuff like that.
Ariant, I'm coming to your place with some beer.
walliwalibus
New member
Well, I dunno..... maybe...... mmmmmmmmmmmmm....... let me think............... uhhhhhhhh........ huh huh ah huh huh huh huh huh huh huh huh, yeah man, let me think.
Re: I'm pretty sure I know what advice I'm going to give, but would like to hear your
I thank you all for the advice, and took your words into consideration... I am not a relationship guru, or even novice, so I didn't know what to tell her, most of my relationships were pretty mild and my longest relationship was less than 2 years, and I'm 30 so, I am not an expert in telling people how to establish a long term one...
That said, I told her this morning while she was at work, and while I wasn't hehehe, that at 28, and she's looking for a stable dude, that ultimatum's... like Smurf said, are not the way to go... she a hawtie, and will have not have any problems, however, I told her if he is escaping 24 hours a day, then something is not right psychologically with him. Don't get me wrong I occasionally smoke out, not ashamed of that... I got my shit together, however, I refuse to smoke in the day, just feels wrong... but i do so to chill out and it is a form of escape or distraction... and its not vitamin c, it doesn't improve my shit or anything like that... this I know. Sometimes, it may add to my creativity, but not alway.
I told her, that she should listen to what her intuition tells her and not me or her friends... however, it sounds like she wants to establish something solid, and it also sounds like she really likes him other than pot smoking, so I told her, with the knowledge that she actually thinks I'm may have a tiny bit of knowledge, which I really don't in relationships, that it would be best to move on and find someone else because dude who smokes 24/7 appears to have the disposition to escape from his conscious... and if there is something eating at him all the time, this is a person who needs to work on that and really can't be responsible or even trusted to build a longterm commitment out of... I mean she knows this cognitively, no surprise, but it never surprises me that once our emotions are involved how we throw logic right out the window... I do this anyway. You guys gave great advice and I'm grateful for all of you taking the time to listen to me. Now its time to me to return to my schedule of reading, getting out of shape, taken the last 4 weeks off of working out, and a whole lot of Couch Love...
I thank you all for the advice, and took your words into consideration... I am not a relationship guru, or even novice, so I didn't know what to tell her, most of my relationships were pretty mild and my longest relationship was less than 2 years, and I'm 30 so, I am not an expert in telling people how to establish a long term one...
That said, I told her this morning while she was at work, and while I wasn't hehehe, that at 28, and she's looking for a stable dude, that ultimatum's... like Smurf said, are not the way to go... she a hawtie, and will have not have any problems, however, I told her if he is escaping 24 hours a day, then something is not right psychologically with him. Don't get me wrong I occasionally smoke out, not ashamed of that... I got my shit together, however, I refuse to smoke in the day, just feels wrong... but i do so to chill out and it is a form of escape or distraction... and its not vitamin c, it doesn't improve my shit or anything like that... this I know. Sometimes, it may add to my creativity, but not alway.
I told her, that she should listen to what her intuition tells her and not me or her friends... however, it sounds like she wants to establish something solid, and it also sounds like she really likes him other than pot smoking, so I told her, with the knowledge that she actually thinks I'm may have a tiny bit of knowledge, which I really don't in relationships, that it would be best to move on and find someone else because dude who smokes 24/7 appears to have the disposition to escape from his conscious... and if there is something eating at him all the time, this is a person who needs to work on that and really can't be responsible or even trusted to build a longterm commitment out of... I mean she knows this cognitively, no surprise, but it never surprises me that once our emotions are involved how we throw logic right out the window... I do this anyway. You guys gave great advice and I'm grateful for all of you taking the time to listen to me. Now its time to me to return to my schedule of reading, getting out of shape, taken the last 4 weeks off of working out, and a whole lot of Couch Love...
Are you an alter?
In my mind its not really for us to judge this dude about his pot smoking habits. i mean, she says he's high "24/7" but that could mean that he tokes up every night before bed. we really dont know him or his motivations for smoking and it doesnt matter. if she is unhappy with whatever the frequency is of his marijuana habit, whether its once a month or everyday day all day, then she needs to make a decision about whether or not she wants to continue in the relationship. period
Re: I'm pretty sure I know what advice I'm going to give, but would like to hear your
whoa! when did you get back?
Oceano said:
whoa! when did you get back?
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