I want to fight a bear

[strider364]

Good story but how are you going to wipe your ass after taking a dump in the bears mouth? Your story does not have any toilet paper in it and therefore is super duper gay!

Also wiping your ass with those razors attached to your hands might make things difficult.

 

[from zero]

I like your pluralization of sphincters for the bear. Nice touch.

And why the fuck do you only post at odd hours of the early morning, Nathan?

 

[Sebby]

Wow, you really put alot of thought into that. I'm going with the bear, I'm not sure if your technique is fool proof.

 

[slickdadd]

ell ough ell. That was funny.

 

[the nature boy]

The only condition I would have is that I would have two razor-sharp foot-long blades to work with. I think I could take the fucker. First, I'd drop into a crouch, then I'd scream unbearably and urinate everywhere (I would be sans pants as per my usual daily routine). The bear would inevitably be a little more than flustered by my display (without pants, it takes time for other beings to fully come to terms with the glorious appendage that adorns my crotch), at which time I'd launch into a rhythmic dance of jabs and slashes, all directed at the bear's most sensitive areas, namely its eyes and sphincters. Blinded by my furious attack, the bear would have no other option but to turn and flee. To the bear's dismay, I'd have anticipated this cowardly retreat and would launch myself bodily into the air (remember, I'm not wearing any pants for those of you working hard at your mental imagery), landing on the bastard's back and driving my blades deep into its kidneys. As the beast draws its last breath, I'd shit in its mouth (no pants) as any champion would in any situation where such behavior is deemed socially acceptable, like this one. Now, were I forced to wear pants, on the other hand, I'm sure the whole thing would go down a little differently and the bear would definitely have the advantage. Let's just everybody take a minute to picture me wearing a stained white t-shirt, some plaid knee-high socks and nothing else. I know. I so totally know.

you'd lose. unless the bear you're talking about is Bullit.

 

[from zero]

Re: Re: I want to fight a bear

you'd lose. unless the bear you're talking about is Bullit.

Unless Nathan is trying to steal Bullit's prized food.

 

[the nature boy]

Re: Re: Re: I want to fight a bear

Unless Nathan is trying to steal Bullit's prized food.

man sausage?

 

[Bullit]

Why didnt I post on this thread earlier?

If I posted my hilarious idea now it would just look like a copy of NB's (albeit a much funnier, superior copy).

 

[the nature boy]

Why didnt I post on this thread earlier?

If I posted my hilarious idea now it would just look like a copy of NB's (albeit a much funnier, superior copy).

alas it is true, you are Lord of the Bears.

 

[HG Pennypacker]

Re: Re: Re: Re: I want to fight a bear

man sausage?

meat whistle