Most people are probably going to disagree with me right now but I am not gonna follow the crowd. I was in just about exactly the same boat as you a painfull divorce led me to attempt to drink myself to death for a few years and I let myself go. My fricking liver just would not quit. Anyway I eventually got a DUI/DWAI blah blah and I realized I could actually hurt someone else so I fixed my problem. First and foremost you have to mentally learn to live again. People will always die, relationships will end, tragedies will happen in everyones lives let go of those things. Sure grieve but let them go the longer you hold onto them the worse you will be. plain and simply quit beating yourself up you deserve to better your life everyone does so quit holding on to things you can not control. Secondly, at your age it does get harder so I would try just HRT a very small amount of testosterone per week (Maybe 200/mg week) it will help improve your mood, and give you more energy increase your libido etc. that was what I was prescribed for HRT. Most people here are here to get huge, but I suggest to you that not for getting huge but for the reasons I just mentioned mood and energy mostly. I will be 36 here soon and you may have some younger guys telling you that is BS but they do not know yet as you were probably like me and could not even pinch an 1/4 inch of fat anywhere on your body in my 20's! Never give up, Keep looking up! You deserve it and get your head back on straight firstly