Please Scroll Down to See Forums Below
napsgear
genezapharmateuticals
domestic-supply
puritysourcelabs
Research Chemical SciencesUGFREAKeudomestic
napsgeargenezapharmateuticals domestic-supplypuritysourcelabsResearch Chemical SciencesUGFREAKeudomestic

I damn near killed myself masturbating tonight

xpu1l5.jpg

Who are these chicks in your signature?
 
I'll probably regret telling you guys this but whatever. I'm checking out this site named pornhub someone mentioned on razorguns thread. It's like a youtube version of porn. Anyway, it's getting late and I figure now would be a good time to rub one out before bed. I usually don't do it in front of the computer but it's good to change things up every once in awhile.

After a brief search I find an intriguing video and I start to go to work on myself. Vid starts out with a little mish, onto some reverse cowgirl, then some doggy. As I'm getting close to completion I begin to slouch more and more in my chair trying to find that sweet spot before I release. That's when I hear, CRACK!!! With my right hand still engaged I go soaring off the chair! Having catlike reflexes I grab the left arm of the chair but my bodyweight rips it right off and I take it with me as I fall back onto a pile of dirty laundry (for once being lazy and not using my hamper paid off!)

I lay there on the floor trying to gather my thoughts and wrap my mind around what just happened. I look over and notice my chair is no longer in one piece, it's in three. I completely separated the back of my chair from the seat portion, and where the arm rest use to be is now just a metal shank. And of course by this time I am completely limp and blue balled. I tweaked my back pretty bad on the way down, took some hydrocodone and can feel it kicking in now. Just when I thought this day couldn't suck any more it finds a way of doing just that.

loololololololo
 
Didn't know you could catch aids from masturbating. This must have been moved to that section as it relates to puddles.
 
Puddles made me click on meatspin.

I will remember this every time I bump this threat.



















b0und (hah!)
 
Top Bottom