How to get myself fired

[canadianhitman]

Wait a minute, you get this signing bonus, they put in a stipulation that if you voluntarily leave you have to pay it back, but if they terminate you, you get to keep it, and they don't have any stipulations on certain REASONS for termination that would invalidate that agreement?

Fuck not showing up, just come to work with booze and get drunk on the job.

As long as he can get a ride to and from work, I like this idea added to mine. The whole 'binging alcoholic' routine will seem so much more believable if he has an actual buzz and booze on his breath.