How can you ask for a prenob from someone you marry?

[plornive]

sk*,
How about just living together and promising to love and support each other until death? If she trusts you, she should have not problem with this.

This really exposes the current idea of marriage for what it is --- a financial contract. A prenup rectifies this.

A prenup is not like planning for divorce. It is an amendment to the policies regarding divorce. It's not like one is assuming divorce will happen. Dividing assets in 2 is an unfair policy.

If your future wife trusts you completely, she should not mind signing a prenup. Although you may trust someone enough to bet half of your current and future assets, why should you? The current policies are unfair to men.

MattTheSkyWalker,
Do you know if there is a way to make prenups last more than 10 years? And why do you say that prenups are unnecessary for 99.999% of the population? Even if someone aquires even just a million in assets, a prenup should be useful. If a very rich guy loses half of his assets, he will still be very well-off. This is not true for someone with around a million in assets, right?

 

[sk*]

If your future wife trusts you completely, she should not mind signing a prenup. Although you may trust someone enough to bet half of your current and future assets, why should you?

Trust.

If my fiance asked me to sign a prenup it would mean she doesn't trust me enough, and I wouldn't want to go along with the relationship.

---

BTW, you say they are unfair to men but what if the female earned more money than the male? It could go both ways ...

-sk

 

[plornive]

I'm not trying to change anything, nor do I care enough to do so.

Just letting you know, you are fooling yourself if you believe there is trust and love in a relationship where you will ask for a prenuptual agreement.

-sk

Why? And how do you have any idea about making a marriage work and last? You're making pretty absolute claims about something you know relatively little about (relative to married people). I reallize that marriage is a personal thing that is not necessarily "taught" or "learned", but I sense the idealism of youth in your ideas. Why not try to be a bit more grey, instead of black or white?

 

[sk*]

Why? And how do you have any idea about making a marriage work and last? You're making pretty absolute claims about something you know relatively little about (relative to married people). I reallize that marriage is a personal thing that is not necessarily "taught" or "learned", but I sense the idealism of youth in your ideas. Why not try to be a bit more grey, instead of black or white?

Well, I look at my parents. When they got married they knew they would be together forever. They knew once they said "I do" that that would be it.

Then we have the 50%+ divorce rate in America. No wonder so many support a prenup. They think about divorce before even getting married, WHAT A JOKE!

-sk

 

[XBiker]

It's pointless to try and show the boy the light.

He has been shown it by numerous people, but just doesn't get it.

Best of luck to him and his future wife.

 

[plornive]

Were having a kind of semantic pissing contest here, so I will try to play from both sides.

If my fiance asked me to sign a prenup it would mean she doesn't trust me enough, and I wouldn't want to go along with the relationship.

2 ways of looking at it:
1. Assume the marriage contract is a one-size-fits-all contract that is fair. Any amendment indicates a lack of trust in one's ability to follow the original contract.
2. See the marriage contract as unfair and biased already. In that case, you can't even tell if the less wealthy of the two people really trusts the other. Amend the contract to make it fair --- now you know if both people really trust each other *equally*.

BTW, you say they are unfair to men but what if the female earned more money than the male? It could go both ways ...

Absolutely. True.

 

[sk*]

It's pointless to try and show the boy the light.

He has been shown it by numerous people, but just doesn't get it.

Best of luck to him and his future wife.

Don't be grumpy X, skate, or whatever.

There is no showing of light, I am saying what I have seen. If you ask for a prenup than there is no trust from the begining.

-sk

 

[plornive]

Well, I look at my parents. When they got married they knew they would be together forever. They knew once they said "I do" that that would be it.

Then we have the 50%+ divorce rate in America. No wonder so many support a prenup. They think about divorce before even getting married, WHAT A JOKE!

-sk

My parents have been together since about 29 years of age, and they will stay together until death I am nearly certain. Their relationship is very close and trusting.

But that's not the point. They could have the same trust with no legally binding financial investment in the marriage.

Legally binding --- now that indicates a lack of personal trust.

 

[sk*]

Were having a kind of semantic pissing contest here, so I will try to play from both sides.

2 ways of looking at it:
1. Assume the marriage contract is a one-size-fits-all contract that is fair. Any amendment indicates a lack of trust in one's ability to follow the original contract.
2. See the marriage contract as unfair and biased already. In that case, you can't even tell if the less wealthy of the two people really trusts the other. Amend the contract to make it fair --- now you know if both people really trust each other *equally*.

I just don't look at marriage as a contract by law. I look at it as more of a contract between two people to stay together forever. No strings attached, just to be together. It gets all messy when you bring the law in. My point was that if the trust is there, there would be no need for any contracts.

-sk

 

[plornive]

Why? And how do you have any idea about making a marriage work and last? You're making pretty absolute claims about something you know relatively little about (relative to married people). I reallize that marriage is a personal thing that is not necessarily "taught" or "learned", but I sense the idealism of youth in your ideas. Why not try to be a bit more grey, instead of black or white?

By the way I am not saying I am any more qualified than you. I am quite young myself. I have been changing throughout my life. How can I know the future when I could not previously predict my current situation? Why the "faith" in marriage?