Having relationship problems

[Bobber]

After 3 months of this girl doing pretty much nothing major wrong I broke up with her last Tuesday. I realized what a dumb ass I was and called her the next day appologizing and thought everything would be fine but I was wrong. It's been over a week now and still everytime she looks at me, which is not very often, all I see is hurt. All I want to do is make it better and she has built such a huge wall around herself that I feel like I can't do anything about it. What the fuck am I supposed to do?

 

[DIVISION]

After 3 months of this girl doing pretty much nothing major wrong I broke up with her last Tuesday. I realized what a dumb ass I was and called her the next day appologizing and thought everything would be fine but I was wrong. It's been over a week now and still everytime she looks at me, which is not very often, all I see is hurt. All I want to do is make it better and she has built such a huge wall around herself that I feel like I can't do anything about it. What the fuck am I supposed to do?

Bobber, you need to have a sit-down with her and explain that you made a huge mistake by breaking up with her and ask her to take you back. She is most likely wondering what SHE did wrong for you to break up with her. If you still care about her, then let her know, look her in the eyes and tell her that from the heart. It's on you now, bro. Put the ball in her court and then it's her perogative whether she wants to continue the relationship or not.

Even if she does want to get back together, she will be feeling hurt for some time now. Expect that, nugga....

Hope this helps, holmes.


DIV

 

[Bobber]

I have done that already bro. I told her I was wrong and how she is fucking so incredible and how I was a retard and had no reason to break up with her. The ball has been in her court for a week now. I even went and got her a really cool huge bowl and filled it with her favorite candies and wrote a poem and put them on her doorstep for when she got home from class this afternoon. I am seriously fucking miserable right now. I just want things to go back to the way they were.

 

[BUBBLES]

After 3 months of this girl doing pretty much nothing major wrong I broke up with her last Tuesday. I realized what a dumb ass I was and called her the next day appologizing and thought everything would be fine but I was wrong. It's been over a week now and still everytime she looks at me, which is not very often, all I see is hurt. All I want to do is make it better and she has built such a huge wall around herself that I feel like I can't do anything about it. What the fuck am I supposed to do?

I have been through a similar situation where the guy wanted two weeks off and did not give me a good reason for the space he wanted. So I told him I am not giving him two weeks off I am giving him a life time off!

So if this girl is as stubborn as me then it would take a miracle for her to take you back! Anyway appologise... but don't hold your breath....
Goodluck!

 

[DIVISION]

I have done that already bro. I told her I was wrong and how she is fucking so incredible and how I was a retard and had no reason to break up with her. The ball has been in her court for a week now. I even went and got her a really cool huge bowl and filled it with her favorite candies and wrote a poem and put them on her doorstep for when she got home from class this afternoon. I am seriously fucking miserable right now. I just want things to go back to the way they were.

Sadly, things will never be "exactly" how they were before. It's possible to move past this, but she will never forget what you did. It's plausible that she might not forgive you and decide that it's best you two go your seperate ways. Like I said, the ball's in her court and it's on her to decide when and if you two will get back together. Give her some time, nugga. When it comes to relationships, women always need to rationalize their feelings and there's no real timetable for that.

I wish you the best of luck, holmes.

DIV

 

[starfish]

She is probably afraid that if you did this to her once then you will do it again.
No girl worth having wants to be put on an emotional roller coaster by a man who is supposed to care about her.

 

[DIVISION]

She is probably afraid that if you did this to her once then you will do it again.
No girl worth having wants to be put on an emotional roller coaster by a man who is supposed to care about her.

Starfish has a point, that's why I said it's entirely possible that you might not get her back no matter what you do. In a relationship there are some things you can't take back.

That ball is in her court.

DIV

 

[Bobber]

Well then I guess I will just feel like shit for the next few days and go back to being the man whore I used to be with my superficial bullshit relationships that are available to me in this rediculous fucking town. Thanks for the replies guys...they reaffirmed what I thought.

 

[split endz]

Bobber, tell her that you have expressed your feelings and do not know what else to do. Don't call continuously, back off a little, make yourself a little scarce. If she still has feelings for you, your absence will make her think about you more. You can't convince her to do anything, she must make that decision.

 

[havoc]

After 3 months of this girl doing pretty much nothing major wrong I broke up with her last Tuesday. I realized what a dumb ass I was and called her the next day appologizing and thought everything would be fine but I was wrong. It's been over a week now and still everytime she looks at me, which is not very often, all I see is hurt. All I want to do is make it better and she has built such a huge wall around herself that I feel like I can't do anything about it. What the fuck am I supposed to do?

Watch Teen Wolf, that will cheer you up big time.


NON-PLATINUM MEMBER

 

[jh1]

Woah... seek help from Alien Amp Pharm pronto...

That man has some 'begging' under his belt... he can let you know what works and what doesnt....

 

[Carmen]

Well then I guess I will just feel like shit for the next few days and go back to being the man whore I used to be with my superficial bullshit relationships that are available to me in this rediculous fucking town. Thanks for the replies guys...they reaffirmed what I thought.

you'll win her back, it'll take time and patience- she's gunshy now and afraid, but if you really regret breaking up with her, she'll see that. keep talking to her and telling her how you feel about her letting her into your life and give her time.

 

[Kroliczek]

You told her how you feel. You made it up to her as best as you can. I don't know what else she could expect you to do? If you explained yourself, I see you in the right. Any more sounds like too much maintenance. Just my op.

 

[alien amp pharm]

Bobber, tell her that you have expressed your feelings and do not know what else to do. Don't call continuously, back off a little, make yourself a little scarce. If she still has feelings for you, your absence will make her think about you more. You can't convince her to do anything, she must make that decision.

Exactly.

 

[alien amp pharm]

Woah... seek help from Alien Amp Pharm pronto...

That man has some 'begging' under his belt... he can let you know what works and what doesnt....

Hey I can give some good advice....I just don't seem to follow it myself at times.

 

[Bobber]

Well I am 100% positive that she knows how I feel about what i did and what I feel for her. I am not going to contact her in anyway. She said she was going home to see her mom saturday so I will get up early then and put a rose on her windshiels along with a note or poem to reinforce my thoughts. After that no more from my side untill she shows signs of wanting it again. I feel like if I do more she will either keep the wall up or think I am her bitch.

 

[alien amp pharm]

Well I am 100% positive that she knows how I feel about what i did and what I feel for her. I am not going to contact her in anyway. She said she was going home to see her mom saturday so I will get up early then and put a rose on her windshiels along with a note or poem to reinforce my thoughts. After that no more from my side untill she shows signs of wanting it again. I feel like if I do more she will either keep the wall up or think I am her bitch.

If she already knows how you feel, don't leave the flower/poem thing. Give it some time until she comes around.

 

[Bobber]

If she already knows how you feel, don't leave the flower/poem thing. Give it some time until she comes around.

Are you sure? I am getting mixed advice about this from my friends. Half say do, half say don't.

 

[alien amp pharm]

Are you sure? I am getting mixed advice about this from my friends. Half say do, half say don't.

lol, I'm probably the last person to be giving you advice at this.

How much have you did so far of letting her know? Just don't go overboard with it. Let her know how you feel, that you made a mistake, and am willing to make it up to her (I think you already have).

If you must leave the rose/poem, DEFINITELY let that be the last contact you make. Let her decide from then on out.

(Oh, and don't act desperate like I seem to always do)

 

[-SD-]

Are you sure? I am getting mixed advice about this from my friends. Half say do, half say don't.

The key here is she needed to know exactly why you broke up for no reason, since in her mind there wasnt one. In a situation like this when everything is rosy in the relationship and someone inexplicably breaks it off, there is a psychological issue going on with the person that broke it off, i.e. YOU. I know because like a dumbass I did the same thing more than once. You are going ot ahve to get very uncomfortable if you havent already and reveal to her your insecurities and psychological reasoning within yourself for breaking up with her, otherwise she wont trust you fully. Remember, in order for someone to regain trust they cant be in the dark as to why their sig. other did something to hurt them.

 

[bluepeter]

Just do the exact opposite of a high-heeled sissy like me.

 

[split endz]

Bobber, there is great power in backing off. Fight your instincts to crawl back to her on all fours. That image is not attractive to women. Be confident and strong even if you are falling apart inside. You have shown her enough of the sensitive you, now show her the strong you. It may re-ignite her old feelings for you.

 

[BUBBLES]

In a situation like this when everything is rosy in the relationship and someone inexplicably breaks it off,

Could someone please explain why would a guy break off a relationship when all seems rosy?? I am confused about that sort of behaviour.....
What goes on in a man's mind at that point in time? Would it be commitmentphobia or he is looking for greener pastures?

 

[alien amp pharm]

Could someone please explain why would a guy break off a relationship when all seems rosy?? I am confused about that sort of behaviour.....
What goes on in a man's mind at that point in time? Would it be commitmentphobia or he is looking for greener pastures?

My ex broke off a perfect relationship to go back to her ex that cheated on her.

It's not just men, but people in general that do stupid crap.

 

[velvett]

So why did you break up with her?

It may never be the same, you've shattered her trust and faith in you and there is no way of knowing if or when she'll be able to have either in you again.

Welcome to your life lesson.

 

[Bobber]

She thought it was because two of my really good friends just ended their serious relationships and I wanted to go be single with them again, which was told to her by one of the friend in questions ex girlfriend. If I had just thought before I spoke everything would be fine.

Now she holds ALL the fucking power and I have zilch.

 

[Bobber]

Could someone please explain why would a guy break off a relationship when all seems rosy?? I am confused about that sort of behaviour.....
What goes on in a man's mind at that point in time? Would it be commitmentphobia or he is looking for greener pastures?

Commitment is deffinetly with out a doubt a major factor, especially when you have been leading a single college party life for the past 2.5 years. As for greener pastures...it's got to be way greener.

 

[gymrat]

hey how's the dog bor?

 

[DIVISION]

So why did you break up with her?

It may never be the same, you've shattered her trust and faith in you and there is no way of knowing if or when she'll be able to have either in you again.

Welcome to your life lesson.

I know it sounds harsh, Bobber......but Velvett is spot-on with her assessment.

I'm sorry you made a bad decision, but now you gotta live with it. I hope she takes you back, but realistically she probably won't.

DIV

 

[jh1]

My ex broke off a perfect relationship to go back to her ex that cheated on her.

It's not just men, but people in general that do stupid crap.

LMAO @ you refering to that as a perfect relationship...

 

[DIVISION]

LMAO @ you refering to that as a perfect relationship...

That's true @ aap...

If it was "perfect" she wouldn't have run back to her ex who cheated on her ass repeatedly.

DIV

 

[alien amp pharm]

I know now it wasn't perfect, but if you could see the way it started out you'd think it was from a fairy tale or something. That's why it's so rough on me.

It's a terrible thing to play with someone's feelings like that if she indeed was playing a game the whole time. I can't believe people sometimes and what they are capable of.

 

[DIVISION]

I know now it wasn't perfect, but if you could see the way it started out you'd think it was from a fairy tale or something. That's why it's so rough on me.

It's a terrible thing to play with someone's feelings like that if she indeed was playing a game the whole time. I can't believe people sometimes and what they are capable of.

Being with a woman in a relationship can seem like fighting a war at times. Love is a dirty game, aap. You know that now because of your situation.

Often, it's truly like war......you against her, fighting for control, a battle of wills.

DIV

 

[Gymgurl]

Could someone please explain why would a guy break off a relationship when all seems rosy?? I am confused about that sort of behaviour.....
What goes on in a man's mind at that point in time? Would it be commitmentphobia or he is looking for greener pastures?

Some men are afraid of commitment (and women) and tend to push people away or find the smallest thing about themthat they can pretend they don't like and dump them.

Just do all you can do and be done. Men seem more attractive when they walk away and not hound you until you give in. I can say this from expereince since I am old enought o be your mother lol. Everyone has given you good advice. If I was her like Sugarplum said, I would be waiting for you to dump me again for no reason and why live like that!

 

[BUBBLES]

I know now it wasn't perfect, but if you could see the way it started out you'd think it was from a fairy tale or something. That's why it's so rough on me.

It's a terrible thing to play with someone's feelings like that if she indeed was playing a game the whole time. I can't believe people sometimes and what they are capable of.

I can understand how you would have felt it was the perfect relationship because I was in a similar situation and when you find out it is over it is such a rude shock...but we were BLINDED by LOVE....anyway the lesson I have learnt is if your instinct tells you something is not right about the person you are seeing (however little!!!) instigate the situation or if you simply do not feel anything for them tell them upfront and don't waste people's time because there are many other goodlooking, sexy and delicious fish in the sea!!!

 

[fistfullofsteel]

There is only one solution if you want her back!!! Send her my way and she will come running back to you and will never leave you. Yeah, I have that effect on women. Damn, I'm good.