got dumped..BUT I'M GONNA GET PUMPED, HUMPED, JUMPED AND BUMPED!

[Razorguns]

Re: got dumped..

now you can be like chesty and aggravate over her, and stalk her and moan over her and cry over her and plead and beg to her to "change her mind" and keep telling yourself that "she loves you" and it's just a "matter of time" and throw yourself into the wonderful exciting world of denial.

 

[Lestat]

Re: got dumped..

yeah.. that's how i took it.. it still just seemed odd that she'd write that instead of just sticking to the topic at hand.

how long is a while.. just curious.. a month.. a few months.. a year?

21 months.

 

[Lestat]

Re: got dumped..

now you can be like chesty and aggravate over her, and stalk her and moan over her and cry over her and plead and beg to her to "change her mind" and keep telling yourself that "she loves you" and it's just a "matter of time" and throw yourself into the wonderful exciting world of denial.

No dude, that is what I am HOPING I avoid at all costs... it pains me to read those posts from Chesty... I know my post here is of a similar flavor.. but the goal here is to NOT be posting more like this in the upcoming weeks... a one time shot.. a call for some advice to help me get through.. and then be done.


I do feel for Chesty though, don't get me wrong. I didn't even live with this girl... let alone have children.. a home.. all that shit.. I can't imagine what it would be like getting dumped, especially for another dude, in that situation.. I'd likely be suicidal.

 

[gonelifting]

Re: got dumped..

I might have read the whole thread, not sure because I did it in segments. Did she give you a reason why she`s breaking up with you? You were together the whole day and she tells you that night? Was there a problem that you were`nt addressing? Is this the first time this happened? If it were me, I would like to know what my faults are. Of course one woman`s opinion does`nt mean it`s a "fault" but at least you`ll know SOMETHING.

You may not want to share that with us, that`s cool. It just seems from your post that it was sudden. Maybe she met someone else. Hate to say that, I know you`re hurting bro. When they say "I want to explore other" or what ever she said... "freedom"... She might be feeling guilty and wants it over before going with someone else. just a thought.

To me, 23 is young. She does sound like a mature 23 yo but the years gotta pass for the experience... Sorry man. I wish you luck. You`re a smart fucker and will get what you deserve. You`ll look back on this time and say you`re glad it went down like that.

Just know that you`re definately not the first or last person to be going through this. I think this type of pain just shows how much passion someone has inside them.

 

[velvett]

Re: got dumped..

dude.. are you kidding me? i didn't read through this whole thread.. don't feel like it.. but you're telling me she fucking ended the damn email with "you can write too!".. ???

I must confess that is pretty damn cheesy.

Also leads one to suspect that she never took the relationship with the intensity as perhaps he did - ever.

 

[Big Rick Rock]

Re: got dumped..

Bor, time heals all wounds, it will only be a matter of time before you are out of this slump. The best advice I can offer is to sever all communications with this girl. I don’t really think she is relationship material dude…
When a woman gives you the “It’s not you, it’s me” bullshit talk, it usually means they are too busy jumping on new cock to be a good girlfriend to you. The worst is when they tell you that “Things might change in the future”, all they are really trying to say is “I will jump on a few dicks for a while, if I can’t find anybody that makes me cum frequently and treats me like a lady the way you did… I’ll be back. If I find better, then I’ll ask you to please stop calling me.”….
Staying friends with her will only serve to break your heart when you realize she is fucking other dudes, and sucking them off the way you taught her to do it to you. The worst is that if she can’t find a good mate, and you are seeing somebody special, she might try to sabotage your new relationship (happened to me).
You have to understand that somebody in a serious relationship doesn’t just up and realize they want to meet other people and see what it is like to date other people… Her eyes have been fucking wondering for a while, looking at the green grass on the singles side, she just now decided it is time to leave the safety and comfort of your relationship to take the plunge into the dating scene. Fuck her, don’t fucking talk to that biotch anymore. Drop her cold turnkey like a bad habit and don’t look back.

 

[Lestat]

Re: got dumped..

I might have read the whole thread, not sure because I did it in segments. Did she give you a reason why she`s breaking up with you? You were together the whole day and she tells you that night? Was there a problem that you were`nt addressing? Is this the first time this happened? If it were me, I would like to know what my faults are. Of course one woman`s opinion does`nt mean it`s a "fault" but at least you`ll know SOMETHING.

You may not want to share that with us, that`s cool. It just seems from your post that it was sudden. Maybe she met someone else. Hate to say that, I know you`re hurting bro. When they say "I want to explore other" or what ever she said... "freedom"... She might be feeling guilty and wants it over before going with someone else. just a thought.

To me, 23 is young. She does sound like a mature 23 yo but the years gotta pass for the experience... Sorry man. I wish you luck. You`re a smart fucker and will get what you deserve. You`ll look back on this time and say you`re glad it went down like that.

Just know that you`re definately not the first or last person to be going through this. I think this type of pain just shows how much passion someone has inside them.

Good questions.

The reasons she gave me at the time were that she wasn't happy with who she was right now. She had this feeling in the back of her mind from time to time that she needed to live life on her own, be single, have some new adventures, meet new people, know what its like to just date.

Now, I sure hope there is no one she had her eye on, that would suck. And here is where I may have dropped the ball...... about maybe 6 months ago.. maybe longer.. we had a talk... it was a near breakup... she felt she wasn't right for me.. that I could be happier with someone else.. that something was missing. And she also mentioned at this time that she has this thought that was eating away at her.. the thought that she just wanted to be single, go out, have fun, do whatever.... freedom.

This hurt at the time, but again this was over half a year ago, probably more, things were not as serious.. they were serious, but the feelings were still growing. We talked about things.. I told her i understood her feelings because I have felt that way before, but she needs to decide whether or not she thinks its worth it to stay together.. I told her I thought it was. I told her that even though right now things may not be perfect, I felt our connection was strong enough that our love would continue to grow, our bond would continue to deepen. And it did, very much so, and that talk was pretty much forgotten by both sides and just chalked up to growing pains, to just part of the normal process of growing together and the thought process that people go through. I'm no expert in relationships and neither is she, we were just taking things as they come, being careful not to rush, but always being considerate of each others feelings. After that talk we had MANY great times today, very intimate emotional times.

I asked her a couple days after the breakup to tell me exactly what it was that was missing. It couldn't just be all her, that is a nice thing to say, but its never true. If it was all her then theoretically once she had her time of freedom, her experiences, she would want me back right where we are today to continue things. But she doesn't feel that, so there is something about the relationship, or something about me that is making her feel that way. I told her for future reference, I'd love to know, so that with other relationships I don't do the same things, or am at least aware. I told her I can take it, I'm a big boy, that I wouldn't just argue with her about the details.. I just wanted to know.

She told me this:
I dont know. theres nothign i can put my finger on but it surely
isn't a glaring fault of yours that is for sure. maybe its US or ME
or something about you that i cant describe but i dont know. maybe
with time when the emotions clear a bit ill have a better
understanding. as vague as this all must feel for you, i dont know
how to explain anything much better.


So that is basically all I have to go on right now as far as the specific reasons.. we didn't fight, we didn't clash too often... certainly on nothing serious. We were so much on the same page it was scary.. we thought very similarly about the world, life, other people, ourselves.

 

[Lestat]

Re: got dumped..

I must confess that is pretty damn cheesy.

Also leads one to suspect that she never took the relationship with the intensity as perhaps he did - ever.

It may be cheezy, but like I said, I think she just feels so bad and was looking for some type of silver lining, something to make me feel better.

Ironically.. she took things more seriously at first then I did.. she told me that she loved me first.. I had to tell her early on that I was feeling smothered and needed to keep some indepedence and space... over time, as I had hoped, those feelings passed and we both looked forward to quality time with each other every day.. but I'd say that the dynamic shifted at different times during the relationship with one person being more serious and into it then the other at different times.. but usually on the completely same page.

 

[Lao Tzu]

Re: got dumped..

No dude, that is what I am HOPING I avoid at all costs... it pains me to read those posts from Chesty... I know my post here is of a similar flavor.. but the goal here is to NOT be posting more like this in the upcoming weeks... a one time shot.. a call for some advice to help me get through.. and then be done.


I do feel for Chesty though, don't get me wrong. I didn't even live with this girl... let alone have children.. a home.. all that shit.. I can't imagine what it would be like getting dumped, especially for another dude, in that situation.. I'd likely be suicidal.

Chestys situation is totally different than yours Bri. He is an old man and he finally realized he threw his family away. You are 27 with no kids. totally different.

Don't know what to tell you though, but considering how you've only been broken up for 6 days from a woman you had a 21 month relationship with feeling bad isn't exactly unheard of.

 

[Big Rick Rock]

Re: got dumped..

Good questions.

The reasons she gave me at the time were that she wasn't happy with who she was right now. She had this feeling in the back of her mind from time to time that she needed to live life on her own, be single, have some new adventures, meet new people, know what its like to just date.

Now, I sure hope there is no one she had her eye on, that would suck. And here is where I may have dropped the ball...... about maybe 6 months ago.. maybe longer.. we had a talk... it was a near breakup... she felt she wasn't right for me.. that I could be happier with someone else.. that something was missing. And she also mentioned at this time that she has this thought that was eating away at her.. the thought that she just wanted to be single, go out, have fun, do whatever.... freedom.

This hurt at the time, but again this was over half a year ago, probably more, things were not as serious.. they were serious, but the feelings were still growing. We talked about things.. I told her i understood her feelings because I have felt that way before, but she needs to decide whether or not she thinks its worth it to stay together.. I told her I thought it was. I told her that even though right now things may not be perfect, I felt our connection was strong enough that our love would continue to grow, our bond would continue to deepen. And it did, very much so, and that talk was pretty much forgotten by both sides and just chalked up to growing pains, to just part of the normal process of growing together and the thought process that people go through. I'm no expert in relationships and neither is she, we were just taking things as they come, being careful not to rush, but always being considerate of each others feelings. After that talk we had MANY great times today, very intimate emotional times.

I asked her a couple days after the breakup to tell me exactly what it was that was missing. It couldn't just be all her, that is a nice thing to say, but its never true. If it was all her then theoretically once she had her time of freedom, her experiences, she would want me back right where we are today to continue things. But she doesn't feel that, so there is something about the relationship, or something about me that is making her feel that way. I told her for future reference, I'd love to know, so that with other relationships I don't do the same things, or am at least aware. I told her I can take it, I'm a big boy, that I wouldn't just argue with her about the details.. I just wanted to know.

She told me this:
I dont know. theres nothign i can put my finger on but it surely
isn't a glaring fault of yours that is for sure. maybe its US or ME
or something about you that i cant describe but i dont know. maybe
with time when the emotions clear a bit ill have a better
understanding. as vague as this all must feel for you, i dont know
how to explain anything much better.


So that is basically all I have to go on right now as far as the specific reasons.. we didn't fight, we didn't clash too often... certainly on nothing serious. We were so much on the same page it was scary.. we thought very similarly about the world, life, other people, ourselves.

Your post just confirmed my original suspicion. That biotch is a scandalous ass ho and wants to fuck around with other dudes. Belive me when I tell you bro, she didn’t just become like this because of something you triggered. The chick has been potential slut material for as long as you’ve known her. Now that you helped her burn the fat off her ass, and taught her how to give good head, now she has the courage to go try it out with other people. She was feeling “safe” with you that’s why she didn’t leave before… She will be a mess in a couple of years, you'll see.