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Man.... this was horrifying. I woke up and stumbled to pee, passed the mirror and saw this black spot on my neck. I thought "oh I must have cut myself shaving". Then it dawned on me that I haven't shaved yet as I hadn't had a shower.
Hmmmm..... so I look in the mirror and touch it. IT FUCKING MOVED!!!!!
So did I. Flailing around and running through the house until the most logical plan of action came to mind. To call 9-1-1.
I was one "1" away from doing so when I thought of something really important. What if the paramedics come and they are not cute? What if it is a dumpy overly botox ex real estate agent in her 50s starting her second career because houses are not selling? Obviously, I would have to put on clothes for that.
Nevertheless, I decided to handle this crisis myself. After having 2 cosmos and shooting 500mg test and 400mg tren into myself for courage I proceeded to throw some closed fists into my neck to stun the creature. After ripping him off I proceeded to judo throw him across the room where I dashed over and curb stomped him the exact same way I would do Suge Knight. (whether he was attached to my neck or not). I think I killed him before he could get a distress signal call out.
Little fucker impaled on a toothpick in my driveway now to warn his other little friends to stay the fuck away.
Hmmmm..... so I look in the mirror and touch it. IT FUCKING MOVED!!!!!
So did I. Flailing around and running through the house until the most logical plan of action came to mind. To call 9-1-1.
I was one "1" away from doing so when I thought of something really important. What if the paramedics come and they are not cute? What if it is a dumpy overly botox ex real estate agent in her 50s starting her second career because houses are not selling? Obviously, I would have to put on clothes for that.
Nevertheless, I decided to handle this crisis myself. After having 2 cosmos and shooting 500mg test and 400mg tren into myself for courage I proceeded to throw some closed fists into my neck to stun the creature. After ripping him off I proceeded to judo throw him across the room where I dashed over and curb stomped him the exact same way I would do Suge Knight. (whether he was attached to my neck or not). I think I killed him before he could get a distress signal call out.
Little fucker impaled on a toothpick in my driveway now to warn his other little friends to stay the fuck away.
