Please Scroll Down to See Forums Below 
circusgirl
New member
Q Modo said:
Well, it depends. Most people will back off once they hear "no". A small proportion of people don't care about others and just want to get their way. These folks will hassle and badger you until they get what they want or until they get sick of you stonewalling. With these people it's not a case of understanding "no", it's realised you won't take that shit.
Anyway, the concept of assertiveness is knowing that in every situation you have the choice to say yes or no, but that each decision will have consequences. You can use your assertiveness to be an inconsiderate bitch or asshole - a lot of people do this because there are a lot of assholes out there. A nice person will take the negative consequences for others of possible actions and decisions into account and say "yes" or "no" respectively.
Example: my grandma wants to go see a movie. SHe wants to see a soppy movie I don't like. I say "yes grandma ok" because I like my gran and she doesn't go to the movies all that often. I can go see XXX or whatever with my friends some other time. I do, however, know, that I COULD say no if I wanted to - and so saying yes ain't a problem.
If a guy hits on me, I smile, say, "thank you for being nice, but I'm straight, comitted and monogamous". I don't tell him to "fuck off" or whatever.
There are some folks who NEVER make a decision though and these are the ones that annoy me. Y;know, the friend you can never get to decide what he or she wants to do as getting a yes or a no outta them is like pulling teeth. The kind who avoids a girl's phone calls for weeks as he can't find the courage to say "it's over" (didn't happen to me, happens occasionally to friends). I didn't mean you. Sounds like you are just a considerate guy.
