Ever miss "your chance?"

[patsfan1379]

This morning I broke my Germanesque routine of shower, coffee, stand in place for 2 minutes to signal crap time... then crap.

Well this morning my stupid mom calls right in prep time. I got off track and got in the car to go to work and missed my chance...

No matter what I did, or how hard I pushed... Nothing... Not even a pity fart...

So all day I could think of nothing else... That bloated feeling like you ate a goddamn bag of expanding marshmallows. Cant eat. Cant think. A lot of sweating...

I fear this could ruin my week. Something like this can de-rail me.

 

[SoKlueles]

dang that post is full of poop

 

[psychedout]

I totally thought this was gonna about missing a chance with a girl.

 

[UA_Iron]

I hope you somehow said in your post that you crap before your shower

 

[velvett]

LOL

I totally understand where you're coming from.

DAMN.

 

[BlkDragon]

dang that post is full of poop

Are you purposely trying to incorporate "dang" into everyone of your posts? B/c I swear you didn't always do this.

 

[chesty]

sounds like your full of shit to me

 

[Buddy_Christ]

sounds like your full of shit to me

so full it hurts.

 

[wootoom]

poopy flavored lollipop

 

[Daisy_]

CRAPy haha

 

[chesty]

just date a woman with pms and a dysfunctional family. Guarantee you'll be clean by morning. Better than oil.

 

[slickdadd]

If there is one thing I don't have a problem doing, it's dumping ladies and gents.

 

[Lestat]

lol!!

dude you got sympathy from velvett... you are quickly becoming OG.

 

[biteme]

LMFAO! I am a creature of habit also. I hate anything interfering with my routine.

 

[Ulcasterdropout]

lol!!

dude you got sympathy from velvett... you are quickly becoming OG.

Yeah, done it.

 

[geoboy]

I thought this was going to be a high-concept post about that once-in-a-lifetime career opportunity, or a stock tip not taken that turned out to be worth millions, or a brief window where the love of your life was suddenly available again.

But no. It's a post about crapping.

-

 

[Pain4Gain]

Well, don't leave us hangin', Patsfan1379. Keep us updated on whether you've gotten this CRAP resolved. People love a crappy story.

 

[patsfan1379]

Well, don't leave us hangin', Patsfan1379. Keep us updated on whether you've gotten this CRAP resolved. People love a crappy story.

well, I left the thread last night... Basically I layed in bed for like an hour thinking about what was happening in there... Whether I would need like an auger or something...

did the routine this morning... success...

though I do believe it had more density than a supermassive black hole.

sunk like a lead brick.

 

[velvett]

lol!!

dude you got sympathy from velvett... you are quickly becoming OG.

?

OG???


Please translate for us old farts

 

[jnevin]

That happens every time I have an early tee time. I try to pound coffee and have a good push before I leave, but half the time I end up having to swing with the hounds trying to be released. Get home...... nothing.

 

[Sub-Zero]

This morning I broke my Germanesque routine of shower, coffee, stand in place for 2 minutes to signal crap time... then crap.

Well this morning my stupid mom calls right in prep time. I got off track and got in the car to go to work and missed my chance...

No matter what I did, or how hard I pushed... Nothing... Not even a pity fart...

So all day I could think of nothing else... That bloated feeling like you ate a goddamn bag of expanding marshmallows. Cant eat. Cant think. A lot of sweating...

I fear this could ruin my week. Something like this can de-rail me.

i hate that shit i know exactly what u mean

 

[Sub-Zero]

LOL

I totally understand where you're coming from.

DAMN.

gross girls dont poop

 

[athlete.03]

well, I left the thread last night... Basically I layed in bed for like an hour thinking about what was happening in there... Whether I would need like an auger or something...

did the routine this morning... success...

though I do believe it had more density than a supermassive black hole.

sunk like a lead brick.

The solution is simple: print this thread and send it to your mom so she knows how much distress she caused you and everyone else. She'll respect your poo ritual from then on, friend.

 

[velvett]

gross girls dont poop

LOL and all this time I though he meant the "one" that got away.

oh well.

 

[patsfan1379]

The solution is simple: print this thread and send it to your mom so she knows how much distress she caused you and everyone else. She'll respect your poo ritual from then on, friend.

Oh don't you worry. I made sure she knows the consequences of her actions.