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Disturbing trend amongst alot of young guys i know that got married.....
- Thread starter NJjuice22
- Start date
awittyusername
New member
Raina said:
I agree. I had 2 girls beg to marry me. However, neither loved me. I just simply met the requirements. I could give them a life they wanted (that outsiders/friends would think is perfect) That's it....
Oh..And, because I would look Damn good in the wedding pic
I love my wedding pictures. I loved my wedding. The marriage was another issue entirely. I kick myself for having done that. When you're going through with it and actually use the justification of "but there are so many non-refundable deposits" you're doomed.
I'll blame myself too for hopeless optimism that things would get better. Not that they'd be magically a-okay after the wedding but that they'd at least stay the same. Everything spiraled out of control and shattered. Hard and expensive lesson learned. But I'm glad to be going through this because it's really put my prioities in line.
I'll blame myself too for hopeless optimism that things would get better. Not that they'd be magically a-okay after the wedding but that they'd at least stay the same. Everything spiraled out of control and shattered. Hard and expensive lesson learned. But I'm glad to be going through this because it's really put my prioities in line.
awittyusername
New member
KillahBee said:
Yes.
I was uninvited to 3 weddings, because I asked them to take it slower...etc.
Two of my friends didn't want me coming over because I asked them to wait on kids. (because they were not happy, and she thought having kids would help)
Now, they are all divorced. One makes it very difficult to visit his kids. Another has to fly 5 hours one way every 2 weeks to visit his daughter. etc
silverbackn
New member
Women who don't respect themselves don't want to be treated well. They don't like themselvses so when you show that you liket them they resent you. A woman with a strong sense of self wants to be treated well, otherwise they want to be treated like dirt. I was with a girl who tried to get me to hit her, she liked the "honeymoon phase". Her ex used to beat her and she didn't understand how I could treat her so well. She had started to equate him hitting her with him caring deeply about her. She was an object to him. She never got it until it was too late. She left me to go back to him, she ended up in the hospital.
The end result is that a relationship isn't 50/50 Its 100/100 either you give that % to making it work or set yourself up for failure.
I was with on man for 11years, alot of things i would have done different, but thats to late to fix. I was and still are a very strong minded woman, I have my own opinon and I make it know, did I expect him to always agree? hell no!
I was the 'do'er' of the relationship, I spoiled him rotten. He was real content in that aspect but still there were other issues. I think alot of my issues were to marry young.. i'd been on my own for a couple years and for the first year together I did what the hell i wanted to do, no matter if he liked it or not. Then kids came along and i let things start changing.... im totally at fault for that. I lived the next years being someone i didn't even reconize. NEVER AGAIN. I may come across here as a bitch, cold hearted .. eh.. and so much more. I am very independant, goal oriented, and a nurturer. But I don't like being walked all over. You give and you take.
I am a very strong willed, strong minded woman. I am open to any discussion, and willing to bend to make things work, but in the end it takes give and take from both.
Every woman wants confidence and a goal oriented strong man. Hell how can you ever feel safe with a man that lets you walk all over him?
I would never tolerate an abusive mate, nor physically or mentally. I need one that is willing to speak his mind. I need one that is confident, independant.
The deal breaker for me is a jealous man. Jealousy is the demise of so many good relationships.
I was with on man for 11years, alot of things i would have done different, but thats to late to fix. I was and still are a very strong minded woman, I have my own opinon and I make it know, did I expect him to always agree? hell no!
I was the 'do'er' of the relationship, I spoiled him rotten. He was real content in that aspect but still there were other issues. I think alot of my issues were to marry young.. i'd been on my own for a couple years and for the first year together I did what the hell i wanted to do, no matter if he liked it or not. Then kids came along and i let things start changing.... im totally at fault for that. I lived the next years being someone i didn't even reconize. NEVER AGAIN. I may come across here as a bitch, cold hearted .. eh.. and so much more. I am very independant, goal oriented, and a nurturer. But I don't like being walked all over. You give and you take.
I am a very strong willed, strong minded woman. I am open to any discussion, and willing to bend to make things work, but in the end it takes give and take from both.
Every woman wants confidence and a goal oriented strong man. Hell how can you ever feel safe with a man that lets you walk all over him?
I would never tolerate an abusive mate, nor physically or mentally. I need one that is willing to speak his mind. I need one that is confident, independant.
The deal breaker for me is a jealous man. Jealousy is the demise of so many good relationships.
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