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Are you misunderstood?

calveless wonder

calveless wonder

New member
I was thinking about this recently....

The image and style i've created for myself have only perpetuated this.
Since i was young i always wanted to "appear" a certain way and have acheived that, but the impression people get of me initially is certainly not the one i wanted.

I've molded myself into someone who is in good shape (bodybuilder ish bc of my traps, but not huge), dresses well and has style, and is decently good looking. You think this would be a good thing...but i feel like people prejudge me as kind of a cocky prick, or arrogant or unapproachable, or superficial.
I feel this is especially true in certain environments that are not as..i dunno trendy or whatever. Doesn't help that i am very sarcastic and while i could be completely joking with good intentions, people interpret that as the above. I actually have to be careful with that when i first meet somebody....

Once people get to know me they realize it's not really the case....and that i'm very charismatic, intelligent, deep, laid back and a caring/good person...but it is annoying.I can kinda understand now why girls who "appear" bitchy, often because they look a certain way or very attractive, complain about the same thing.

does anyone feel like this? Do you kinda fit your mold? or no?
 
cavless we often try and shape ourselfs into what we want to be or what we think we should be. The personality always existed from the start but the body is just changed to fit what WE think it should be or want it to be to match our personalities
If a girl is a bitch she shapes her self into a bitch via clothes, makeup and the way she puts herself out to others.

If a guy is skinny and shapes himself into a bodybuilder , he is exactly as he was supposed to act but now he can just be himself in his new body and the whole thing finally fits " the complete transformation " or in otherwards finding yourself..
hence you're personality made you lift weighs it is what you always were , it was your personality that allowed you to become bigger. A skinny guy never gets big becuase his personality is that of a skinny person
 
chazk said:
cavless we often shape ourselfs into what we want to be. The personality always existed from the start.
If a girl is a bitch she shapes her self into a bitch via clothes, makeup and the way she puts herself out to others.

If a guy is skinny and shapes himself into a bodybuilder , he is exactly as he was supposed to act but now he can just be himself in his new body and the whole thing finally fits " the complete transformation " or in otherwards finding yourself..
Click to expand...

that mentality is why people are misunderstood. they think because they appear a certain way...they are the stereotype of it.

maybe the girl just likes the clothes
maybe the guy just likes to be jacked

the really down to earth, beautiful girls i've dated or have been friends with have complained about the above. they have a hard time with people being real and genuine around them...or understanding them. some don't intend it that way but it just works out that.

for guys its different, but in some ways the same. not saying i'm amazing looking or freakish etc in the case of the above but i notice people treat me a certain way before they get to know me...which is the complete opposite of my true personality and demeanor. It takes a good while before someone understands what i'm about and i usually have to go out of my way....that is what i'm referring to.
 
calveless wonder said:
that mentality is why people are misunderstood. they think because they appear a certain way...they are the stereotype of it.

maybe the girl just likes the clothes
maybe the guy just likes to be jacked

the really down to earth, beautiful girls i've dated or have been friends with have complained about the above. they have a hard time with people being real and genuine around them...or understanding them. some don't intend it that way but it just works out that.

for guys its different, but in some ways the same. not saying i'm amazing looking or anything in the case of the above but i notice people treat me a certain way before they get to know me...which is the complete opposite of my true personality and demeanor.
Click to expand...
No stereo types I never said how a bitch acts or dresses did i? Did I say guys with a build are arrogant ? No..
Look deeper inside of the situation you are in.
YOU only percieve people are stereo typing you . Why ? becuase you choose to lift weights and be bigger then a normal person... so are you still a normal person now ? You are still the same person that was inside the smaller body.
Not everyone stereo types people. THE ONLY PERSON STEREO TYPING YOU IS YOU.
be yourself and you will not have a problem. If you are a asshole or a nice guy does not matter the point is just be you
 
PuddleMonkey said:
Its human nature.
Click to expand...
Human nature follows the law of attraction..
we are attracted to things. and that we are not attracted to we are not interested in.

As far as bodybuilding as a image to the public eye . Some women think bodybuilders are big cuddly teddy bears that would never hurt a fly but protect them in times of danger. Those ARE women attracted to bodybuilders.

Women that are NOT attracted to bodybuilders think bodybuilders are assholes,pricks,meatheads becuase they are simply not attracted to them.

You can not please everyone women not every women will be attracted to bodybuilders and some can not get enough of bodybuilders
just as simple as that
 
calveless wonder said:
I was thinking about this recently....

The image and style i've created for myself have only perpetuated this.
Since i was young i always wanted to "appear" a certain way and have acheived that, but the impression people get of me initially is certainly not the one i wanted.

I've molded myself into someone who is in good shape (bodybuilder ish bc of my traps, but not huge), dresses well and has style, and is decently good looking. You think this would be a good thing...but i feel like people prejudge me as kind of a cocky prick, or arrogant or unapproachable, or superficial.
I feel this is especially true in certain environments that are not as..i dunno trendy or whatever. Doesn't help that i am very sarcastic and while i could be completely joking with good intentions, people interpret that as the above. I actually have to be careful with that when i first meet somebody....

Once people get to know me they realize it's not really the case....and that i'm very charismatic, intelligent, deep, laid back and a caring/good person...but it is annoying.I can kinda understand now why girls who "appear" bitchy, often because they look a certain way or very attractive, complain about the same thing.

does anyone feel like this? Do you kinda fit your mold? or no?
Click to expand...
im very shy, and used to be a fatty goofy fucker.

i wanted to look scary cause i think bodybuilders are awsome, so i started getting huge.

now im that "crazy lifter dude". but inside im still a goofy fat fuck.

arnt you the one who told me making yourself into a scary jacked dude is just that...becoming a hard to approach misunderstood scary jacked dude...?

anyway, my friend in hs senior year said,
"everyones afraid to talk to you at first cause they think you are going to be a dick, then they hear you talk and realize your a nice guy...then they actually listen to you and think youre a dick again".

everyone hates me waaah, no girls approach me, i suck, we suck, lets post on EF all day
 
I am only misunderstood by dumb people ....
I am so," BAM!!!! This is ME!!!!!!!" Only a dummy could misunderstand...
 
Don't give a fuck if I am or not. Just a free spirit. Watching the wheels go round and round. Wheeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!
 
I understand what he is saying and I do humbly disagree.

OTHER PEOPLES' PERCEPTION HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH YOU.... THAT IS, UNLESS YOU ALLOW IT.

That is why I always tell others to never let someone else decide YOUR reality.

If someone doesn't "get me" that is THEIR loss... not mine. :)
 
PuddleMonkey said:
Fine... I'll participate.

I'm not misunderstood, I AM a jackass. I didn't always use to be this way, I use to be very kind and warmhearted, but scandalous people and Asian drivers turned me into an ass.
Click to expand...
+1


speaking of wonton drivers.....i got sideswiped in a hit and run by one the other day. i should get a free numa sistey nine wit fry rye.




i know, i know....hell awaits me.
 
ldsck dsfa f54 sdgfge545hhs gssa fgfg asdgdgg dgds, dsfdadf.

dsfe jghiu kykyujh gfgf, fgfg, ffd, dsffsfdads fasfdsf.

dsfhg gfnfn .
 
I am totally misunderstood irl everyone who meets me thinks i'm a stuck up bitch at first but I'm just aloof.

knowing me is loving me. lol. hahaha

I know true stuck up snobby bitches. I hate them and i'm not that.
 
i hear ya....its those first impressions.....which are based on appearence. As you get older and wiser you learn not to judge a book by its cover and appreciate that everyone is different.
 
MightyMouse69 said:
in the end, you live with yourself - if you have created a false impression - you will feel empty since you know the truth.
Click to expand...


absolutely... i hate people that put up a false front and then change after you get comfortable with them. especially when you start a relationship... my wife did that to me while we dated for 3 years before we got married. she even told the marriage counselor that she told me what she thought i wanted to hear and then after we got married her true self came out. lots of years of trouble because of it. if it were not for my son i would have left a long time ago but i stayed and we worked things out once she learned to be herself and i got used to it. but the lies is what really upset me.

basically if you lie about yourself to others it will come out eventually then your labeled a lier.
 
bigmann245 said:
absolutely... i hate people that put up a false front and then change after you get comfortable with them. especially when you start a relationship... my wife did that to me while we dated for 3 years before we got married. she even told the marriage counselor that she told me what she thought i wanted to hear and then after we got married her true self came out. lots of years of trouble because of it. if it were not for my son i would have left a long time ago but i stayed and we worked things out once she learned to be herself and i got used to it. but the lies is what really upset me.

basically if you lie about yourself to others it will come out eventually then your labeled a lier.
Click to expand...

Interesting, I've been chastized/questioned as to why I am so "in-your-face-take-me-or-leave-me-but-this-is-reality-regardless" with everyone I meet. They asked what could I hope to gain from such brutal honesty as it would most certainly turn a number of people off. The above reason is EXACTLY what I have avoided my entire life...

When I was younger, I had no backbone, so I tried so hard to mold to what I THOUGHT was expected of me - to please my partner. But that sorta backfired when nothing I did was good enough, I was always "in trouble" for something. Then when I said, "Fuck this" and started doing whatever I wanted as at least this way, I would be happy to a certain degree I was told that I had changed.

Huh?

Well I learned BIGTIME.

My husband knew the score before we ever went on a date... People still find my brutal honesty shocking. You would think they would find it refreshing. :whatever:
 
SublimeZM said:
anyway, my friend in hs senior year said,
"everyones afraid to talk to you at first cause they think you are going to be a dick, then they hear you talk and realize your a nice guy...then they actually listen to you and think youre a dick again".
Click to expand...

I am exactly the opposite.
I look really sweet and innocent so everyone thinks that I'm nice.
Then I start talking and, as I am an indefatigable smart ass, they think I am a bitch.
Then, if they actually listen to what I say (and if they're smart) they realize that 90% of what I say is said in jest, and they think I'm nice again.

But, as most people dont listen, I usually end up stuck in bitch zone.
And, as I think most people are stupid, I don't care.
 
BIKINIMOM said:
Interesting, I've been chastized/questioned as to why I am so "in-your-face-take-me-or-leave-me-but-this-is-reality-regardless" with everyone I meet. They asked what could I hope to gain from such brutal honesty as it would most certainly turn a number of people off. The above reason is EXACTLY what I have avoided my entire life...

When I was younger, I had no backbone, so I tried so hard to mold to what I THOUGHT was expected of me - to please my partner. But that sorta backfired when nothing I did was good enough, I was always "in trouble" for something. Then when I said, "Fuck this" and started doing whatever I wanted as at least this way, I would be happy to a certain degree I was told that I had changed.

Huh?

Well I learned BIGTIME.

My husband knew the score before we ever went on a date... People still find my brutal honesty shocking. You would think they would find it refreshing. :whatever:
Click to expand...
Men dont want fronts or fake pleasers, but men also dont want "in your face" type women.
 
BIKINIMOM said:
Interesting, I've been chastized/questioned as to why I am so "in-your-face-take-me-or-leave-me-but-this-is-reality-regardless" with everyone I meet. They asked what could I hope to gain from such brutal honesty as it would most certainly turn a number of people off. The above reason is EXACTLY what I have avoided my entire life...

When I was younger, I had no backbone, so I tried so hard to mold to what I THOUGHT was expected of me - to please my partner. But that sorta backfired when nothing I did was good enough, I was always "in trouble" for something. Then when I said, "Fuck this" and started doing whatever I wanted as at least this way, I would be happy to a certain degree I was told that I had changed.

Huh?

Well I learned BIGTIME.

My husband knew the score before we ever went on a date... People still find my brutal honesty shocking. You would think they would find it refreshing. :whatever:
Click to expand...



yes it is refreshing... thats how i am. im a "take me or leave me" type of guy... i dont play games and beat around the bush. when my wife and i were separated i dated this one girl who always had me guessing how she felt or thought. she told someone else the reason we didnt workout is because i dont play the game. sorry but im 33 years old and even when i was 17 i didnt play those games. if you like me tell me, if not tell me....
 
I am rarely misunderstood,
I walk my own path, listen carefully, speak infrequently and softly.
(It helps that my voice sounds like Sam Elliott)
 
superdave said:
Men dont want fronts or fake pleasers, but men also dont want "in your face" type women.
Click to expand...

Not true about ALL men, only about MOST men, but then again, I didn't WANT "most" men. I was looking for exceptional and rare and didn't change a DAMNED THING... and then whaddaya think happened?

I FOUND HIM!!! :heart:

That's why I tell people who are exceptional and rare never to compromise themselves as it would stand to reason their counter part will be equally exceptional and rare.... no?
 
that reminds me

my sis isnt her true self

i found her myspace page and she passes off pics of me as herself

she lied on her blog about a restaurant we were going to - she made it sounds like it was a cooler more hipper place to be - i thought that was a weird thing to lie about the place we were going was fine

people are fucking weird.
 
PuddleMonkey said:
Fine... I'll participate.

I'm not misunderstood, I AM a jackass. I didn't always use to be this way, I use to be very kind and warmhearted, but scandalous WOMEN and Asian drivers turned me into an ass.
Click to expand...

fixed it for you buddy!
 
cindylou said:
that reminds me

my sis isnt her true self

i found her myspace page and she passes off pics of me as herself

she lied on her blog about a restaurant we were going to - she made it sounds like it was a cooler more hipper place to be - i thought that was a weird thing to lie about the place we were going was fine

people are fucking weird.
Click to expand...

I should hook her up with my friend. She can tell him that she's young, very rich and beautiful and that she wants to marry him even though she's never met him and he's been married 3 times... She can tell him that she'll pay his child support for him too... He'll fall for it because he has an overinflated opinion of himself. He's mad at me for making fun of him. I was just giving him a dose of his own medicine. Must have been bitter.
 
BIKINIMOM said:
Not true about ALL men, only about MOST men, but then again, I didn't WANT "most" men. I was looking for exceptional and rare and didn't change a DAMNED THING... and then whaddaya think happened?

I FOUND HIM!!! :heart:

That's why I tell people who are exceptional and rare never to compromise themselves as it would stand to reason their counter part will be equally exceptional and rare.... no?
Click to expand...
People have their own definitions of what is an exceptional woman or man, but of course the point is to not compromise what you want in that definition. I happen to like lower key and women with "sweet" personalities, not women who are in my face about everything. Ive compromised that before and doesnt work......for me.
 
superdave said:
People have their own definitions of what is an exceptional woman or man, but of course the point is to not compromise what you want in that definition. I happen to like lower key and women with "sweet" personalities, not women who are in my face about everything. Ive compromised that before and doesnt work......for me.
Click to expand...

Feel you 100%.

I KNOW I am waaaaaay too over the top for most people, forget men. Interesting though, I find so many people that happily *take* my energy, it's very draining. Why I often want to be alone and to myself.

I AM incredibly sweet and charming, but I do have a very quick wit and won't hesitate to mentally spar/verbally fence as I do enjoy it so much <--- that is what I think scare most men. (Admittedly I don't give women NEARLY as much guff.) For those men who found this to be engaging and enjoyable as well, we were a PERFECT fit, at least in that regard.

Ironically when we are out, it is The Old Grump that is the attention whore. LOL He can't go ANYWHERE without engaging someone in a conversation. Me, I just sit back and enjoy the show. :D
 
calveless wonder said:
I was thinking about this recently....

The image and style i've created for myself have only perpetuated this.
Since i was young i always wanted to "appear" a certain way and have acheived that, but the impression people get of me initially is certainly not the one i wanted.

I've molded myself into someone who is in good shape (bodybuilder ish bc of my traps, but not huge), dresses well and has style, and is decently good looking. You think this would be a good thing...but i feel like people prejudge me as kind of a cocky prick, or arrogant or unapproachable, or superficial.
I feel this is especially true in certain environments that are not as..i dunno trendy or whatever. Doesn't help that i am very sarcastic and while i could be completely joking with good intentions, people interpret that as the above. I actually have to be careful with that when i first meet somebody....

Once people get to know me they realize it's not really the case....and that i'm very charismatic, intelligent, deep, laid back and a caring/good person...but it is annoying.I can kinda understand now why girls who "appear" bitchy, often because they look a certain way or very attractive, complain about the same thing.

does anyone feel like this? Do you kinda fit your mold? or no?
Click to expand...

Sometime I wonder how I am perceived by others. I'm not entirely sure. I don't think a person is seen in the same light by everyone else, as it's all quite relative.

People come across as different in different environments: social, professional, relationship, family, et cetera. It's hard to generalize any given person into a single, well-defined mold -- or, at least it's hard for me to generalize in that manner unless I know someone very well.

I tend to agree with Puddle. People usually go off of first impressions and stereotypes, since that is all the initial information they are given. Once they learn more, their perceptions of that person often (but not always) change.



:cow:
 
samoth said:
Sometime I wonder how I am perceived by others. I'm not entirely sure. I don't think a person is seen in the same light by everyone else, as it's all quite relative.

People come across as different in different environments: social, professional, relationship, family, et cetera. It's hard to generalize any given person into a single, well-defined mold -- or, at least it's hard for me to generalize in that manner unless I know someone very well.

I tend to agree with Puddle. People usually go off of first impressions and stereotypes, since that is all the initial information they are given. Once they learn more, their perceptions of that person often (but not always) change.



:cow:
Click to expand...

emop.jpg
 
calveless wonder said:
thanks dickhead. set a great tone for this thread
Click to expand...

And you wonder why people see you this way. Maybe the use of the work dickhead may give you a hint. Name calling is not nice. Just a thought,
 
yeah yeah yeah, for the people who are saying "it only matters what you perceive" or whatever....that's fine, i know who i am. i don't need anyone else to tell me that

but real life is real life.
and real life evidence and feedback i've gotten dictates otherwise. i usually get "wow, i didn't know you were so cool and laid back" once a person gets to know me.

i'm sure the other people who feel the same way know what i'm talking about
 
calveless wonder said:
yeah yeah yeah, for the people who are saying "it only matters what you perceive" or whatever....that's fine, i know who i am. i don't need anyone else to tell me that

but real life is real life.
and real life evidence and feedback i've gotten dictates otherwise. i usually get "wow, i didn't know you were so cool and laid back" once a person gets to know me.

i'm sure the other people who feel the same way know what i'm talking about
Click to expand...

"wow, i didn't know you were so cool and laid back"
 
calveless wonder said:
yeah yeah yeah, for the people who are saying "it only matters what you perceive" or whatever....that's fine, i know who i am. i don't need anyone else to tell me that

but real life is real life.
and real life evidence and feedback i've gotten dictates otherwise. i usually get "wow, i didn't know you were so cool and laid back" once a person gets to know me.

i'm sure the other people who feel the same way know what i'm talking about
Click to expand...

"it only matters what you perceive" or whatever....
 
calveless wonder said:
yeah yeah yeah, for the people who are saying "it only matters what you perceive" or whatever....that's fine, i know who i am. i don't need anyone else to tell me that

but real life is real life.
and real life evidence and feedback i've gotten dictates otherwise. i usually get "wow, i didn't know you were so cool and laid back" once a person gets to know me.

i'm sure the other people who feel the same way know what i'm talking about
Click to expand...

All the whey is correct.

YOUR PERCEPTION IS REALITY.

In other words, believe it or not, if someone doesn't "get you" then that is their loss or on them... NOT YOU.

And no matter how hard it may seem, if the perception of others bothers you, YOU CAN CHANGE THAT.... but only if YOU WANT TO.

The mind is very powerfull. Most people are sheeples that can not think for themselves <---- therein lies your advantage.
 
BIKINIMOM said:
All the whey is correct.

YOUR PERCEPTION IS REALITY.

In other words, believe it or not, if someone doesn't "get you" then that is their loss or on them... NOT YOU.

And no matter how hard it may seem, if the perception of others bothers you, YOU CAN CHANGE THAT.... but only if YOU WANT TO.

The mind is very powerfull. Most people are sheeples that can not think for themselves <---- therein lies your advantage.
Click to expand...

YOUR PERCEPTION IS not REALITY.
 
calveless wonder said:
yeah yeah yeah, for the people who are saying "it only matters what you perceive" or whatever....that's fine, i know who i am. i don't need anyone else to tell me that

but real life is real life.
and real life evidence and feedback i've gotten dictates otherwise. i usually get "wow, i didn't know you were so cool and laid back" once a person gets to know me.

i'm sure the other people who feel the same way know what i'm talking about
Click to expand...

what did these people perceive of you prior to the comment "wow..."?
 
calveless wonder said:
yeah yeah yeah, for the people who are saying "it only matters what you perceive" or whatever....that's fine, i know who i am. i don't need anyone else to tell me that

but real life is real life.
and real life evidence and feedback i've gotten dictates otherwise. i usually get "wow, i didn't know you were so cool and laid back" once a person gets to know me.

i'm sure the other people who feel the same way know what i'm talking about
Click to expand...
they just say that to you're face. " I didn't know you were so cool and laid back " so does that mean those people think you were not cool and not laid back ? No, you have no idea what they thought about you,Only what they have told you...
 
chazk said:
they just say that to you're face. " I didn't know you were so cool and laid back " so does that mean those people think you were not cool and not laid back ? No, you have no idea what they thought about you,Only what they have told you...
Click to expand...

whatever drugs you take, i want some.

and alot of it!!
 
Frequently. I'm shy around new people who all know each other and a bit insecure...but it somehow comes off as seeming aloof and like i am "too good" for people.
 
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