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Do perfect people write & say positive affirmations?

Underwraps

Underwraps

New member
I kind of think positive affirmation statements are kind of silly, but hey, may be they work. So, have they worked for you? Do the ivory tower people use them?

I noticed there's different kinds. The kind you write predicting the future or the kind you write as if the ideal situation already exists for you.

I am... vs I will be
I do vs I will...
I no longer...

And then there's other statement types:
I am now...
I have...
I own...
I live...
I work at...
I traveled to...
I achieved...

Mine? I am patient, I am still kind, I am a successful entreprenuer, I have a great sex life with my spouse and only with my spouse, I don't let mean people bother me anymore, I have a completely toned tummy, I have a larger home, I have healthy, independent, happy children, and so on. :rainbow:
 
Underwraps said:
I kind of think positive affirmation statements are kind of silly, but hey, may be they work. So, have they worked for you? Do the ivory tower people use them?

I noticed there's different kinds. The kind you write predicting the future or the kind you write as if the ideal situation already exists for you.

I am... vs I will be
I do vs I will...
I no longer...

And then there's other statement types:
I am now...
I have...
I own...
I live...
I work at...
I traveled to...
I achieved...

Mine? I am patient, I am still kind, I am a successful entreprenuer, I have a great sex life with my spouse and only with my spouse, I don't let mean people bother me anymore, I have a completely toned tummy, I have a larger home, I have healthy, independent, happy children, and so on. :rainbow:
Click to expand...

lol i don't think you're supposed to just blatantly lie to yourself.
 
nimbus said:
lol i don't think you're supposed to just blatantly lie to yourself.
Click to expand...

it's not lying. your subconcious mind doesn't know what's true and what's not. it just absorbs whatever it's being fed

it's much easier to reach a goal if you imagine yourself already attaining it or think of it in the present tense

it's not about the end result as much as the mindset these affirmations instill
 
calveless wonder said:
it's not lying. your subconcious mind doesn't know what's true and what's not. it just absorbs whatever it's being fed

it's much easier to reach a goal if you imagine yourself already attaining it or think of it in the present tense

it's not about the end result as much as the mindset these affirmations instill
Click to expand...

^^its said this is the technique Arnold used to achieve what he has in bodybuilding.


not sure what your idea of perfect people are....i don't do affirmations but im a naturally cheerful, optimistic person which could equals positive affirmations person. i usually see things eventually working out(even when others think its unrealistic, irrational, not likely, ect)...and they usually do.:)
 
calveless wonder said:
it's not lying. your subconcious mind doesn't know what's true and what's not. it just absorbs whatever it's being fed

it's much easier to reach a goal if you imagine yourself already attaining it or think of it in the present tense

it's not about the end result as much as the mindset these affirmations instill
Click to expand...

the subconscious mind processes a lot of sensory data and knows you don't have a toned stomach if you're a noodlekeg and you look in the mirror everyday. so yea, your subconscious does know what's true a lot of the time, and a lot of her examples are lying to yourself.

she should be choosing affirmations that affirm a mindset, not objective measures like a sixpack or a big house

seems a lot more productive to say, I eat healthy and am on the path to a toned stomach
 
nimbus said:
the subconscious mind processes a lot of sensory data and knows you don't have a toned stomach if you're a noodlekeg and you look in the mirror everyday. so yea, your subconscious does know what's true a lot of the time, and a lot of her examples are lying to yourself.

she should be choosing affirmations that affirm a mindset, not objective measures like a sixpack or a big house

seems a lot more productive to say, I eat healthy and am on the path to a toned stomach
Click to expand...


A friend read me hers and I was taking examples off her model, but IC how the mindset approach is a good idea. Thanks

I already eat healthy, but I still have just a bit too much of the good stuff so I guess I should say: I eat just the caloric intake my body needs for the shape I want. Better to go positive than negative right? vs I will NOT eat more calories than my body consumes for the day.
I don't really use them...was just curious.

Oh, no perfect people out there (it was a defense mechanism), but I do wonder if many of the most successful people around have used them or a positive mindset perhaps just comes more naturally and is more automatic and phrasesdon't have to be written out to say to themselves. I used to think positive affirmations were something only insecure people needed to do and if I did them, that was admitting I was insecure. On a different note, I think many sucessful people are insecure and they're biggest fear is people will find out they are "an imposter" as one leader of a group I know of put it. Thanks for the input.
 
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Underwraps said:
Oh, no perfect people out there (it was a defense mechanism), but I do wonder if many of the most successful people around have used them or a positive mindset perhaps just comes more naturally and is more automatic and phrasesdon't have to be written out to say to themselves.
Click to expand...

Guess it depends on how you define success.

There are those who equate success with the size of house they own or the model of car they drive, while there are some who equate success in terms of a difference they make performing services for others.

Personally the most successful people I've met are also the most humble.

 
calveless wonder said:
it's not lying. your subconcious mind doesn't know what's true and what's not. it just absorbs whatever it's being fed

it's much easier to reach a goal if you imagine yourself already attaining it or think of it in the present tense

it's not about the end result as much as the mindset these affirmations instill
Click to expand...


100% correct. I won't comment on any of the particular circumstances, but I have what I have, and I am where I am, because I put myself here in my mind first. I dare anyone to ask a homeless beggar a few questions, and they'll say "Society always shits on me". I have news for them. Society shits on everybody. Some people get buried in it, and others plow it into a field and grow expensive crops with it :cool: .

Charles
 
You mean like this phagocyte:

stuart-smalley.jpg
 
kx250rider said:
100% correct. I won't comment on any of the particular circumstances, but I have what I have, and I am where I am, because I put myself here in my mind first. I dare anyone to ask a homeless beggar a few questions, and they'll say "Society always shits on me". I have news for them. Society shits on everybody. Some people get buried in it, and others plow it into a field and grow expensive crops with it :cool: .

Charles
Click to expand...

True - lemons or lemonade. It's up to you. I like your example.
 
javaguru said:
I'm good enough...
I'm smart enough...
and people like me....

-Stuart Smally
Click to expand...
superdave said:
You mean like this phagocyte:

http://everythingchangesbook.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/02/stuart-smalley.jpg[/quote]

LOL. I love that guy! Java just missed the "and doggone it" beforee..."people like me".

I really had a good 15 year streak with taking a very Buddhist and Taoist approach to life and my subsistence level barely into middle class lifestyle was just fine for me and my partner for ages. I was haaaappy. Then came REAL life....

So, damnit! I'm having a midlife crisis and questioning all my past decisions and what the hell I do now about it all. I'm losing my bamboo limberness to swaying with life. In some ways I did snap.

I was the happy leaf floating on the river. Now I feel like algae pond scum and I know it's all my own fault and perspective. I was rarely jealous about what others had. I knew I had it good- good enough for me. Then I discovered the Buddha's devil...DESIRE. I love alliteration. ha ha.

Now, I have to decide NOW if it's all good enough for me still or do I get off my ass and go get what I want- besides another affair. That was a weird lithmus test to see if I could get what I want in that arena. It's true - be careful what you ask for as it's not likely to be exactly what you wanted though it's what you wanted. But, now I want all the rest that I do now dare to DESIRE.

So, there's a balance to be attained between being happy with what you have yet having enough drive to go get MORE.
Click to expand...
 
PICK3 said:
Guess it depends on how you define success.

There are those who equate success with the size of house they own or the model of car they drive, while there are some who equate success in terms of a difference they make performing services for others.

Personally the most successful people I've met are also the most humble.
Click to expand...

This has reawakened my desire for a young bald David Carradine. Wow. He wasn't bad until he hit the desert with that crazy hat and long hair.

Btw, didn't know pick3 could be so profound. Nice to see some depth in this cesspool. As one who admires humble people, I assume that is a trait you strive to internalize? That's refreshing. The humble remark is so true according to the business book "Good to Great". All the consistently top companies had humble CEOs who did their work for the company and not for their own egos and reputations. And egoist example? Lee Iacocca- according to the book.
 
They absolutely do. Wether conciously or unconciously. One thing Ive noticed about truly successful people is that they are eternal optimists.
It really is about responsibility, preparation, and opportunity.
 
Underwraps said:
I kind of think positive affirmation statements are kind of silly, but hey, may be they work. So, have they worked for you? Do the ivory tower people use them?

I noticed there's different kinds. The kind you write predicting the future or the kind you write as if the ideal situation already exists for you.

I am... vs I will be
I do vs I will...
I no longer...

And then there's other statement types:
I am now...
I have...
I own...
I live...
I work at...
I traveled to...
I achieved...

Mine? I am patient, I am still kind, I am a successful entreprenuer, I have a great sex life with my spouse and only with my spouse, I don't let mean people bother me anymore, I have a completely toned tummy, I have a larger home, I have healthy, independent, happy children, and so on. :rainbow:
Click to expand...

It's called NARCISSISM and DELUSIONS OF GRANDEUR
 
javaguru said:
I'm good enough...
I'm smart enough...
and people like me....

-Stuart Smally
Click to expand...

i am not very good (but i'm working on it)...
i am not very smart (but i'm working on it)...
and anyone that doesn't like me can take a number...and wait in that line over there...for their turn to go fuck themselves.

-Me :)
 
I am not an optimist - but have been reasonably successful, and satisfied with the way the last couple of years hae gone. Sometimes when I'm down about myself - THAT's when I do some needed self-validation to pick myself up.
 
digimon7068 said:
i am not very good (but i'm working on it)...
i am not very smart (but i'm working on it)...
and anyone that doesn't like me can take a number...and wait in that line over there...for their turn to go fuck themselves.

-Me :)
Click to expand...

I'm gonna borrow that last line bro. Have a few customers that need to get that memo.
 
Rachel...lol said:
I am not an optimist - but have been reasonably successful, and satisfied with the way the last couple of years hae gone. Sometimes when I'm down about myself - THAT's when I do some needed self-validation to pick myself up.
Click to expand...

My philosophy is to plan for the worst and when everything doesn't go to shit you're pleasantly surprised. :)
 
ledhead said:
It's called NARCISSISM and DELUSIONS OF GRANDEUR
Click to expand...

This is exactly the type of thinking that essentially leads to mediocrity in life. But hey, if you're happy with mediocrity, go with that.

People who use affirmations obviously realize they are not the things they consist of in the affirmation. They don't go around with a sense of entitlement. They construe these statements as merely a tool to shift the paradigm of their internal thought process. In psychology, narcissism is ACTIVELY displayed on the conscious level, so there is a huge difference. Before you go throwing around blanket terms, i think you should realize what the terms actually entail.

It's a tool to shift the subconscious which is incapable of cognitive function and deciphering reality from truth. So whatever message is delivered, it will manifest on a subconscious level which ultimately results in the gearing of your actions or autopilot. You never actually THINK about these things. they just occur.

The fact successful people use affirmations as well as goal setting (concrete goal setting...as in SMART goals. Specific, measurable, attainable, realistic and timely/timeframe) is not a coincidence. Success has to start internally or else you either fall into it by accident (i.e. some people achieve what might be deemed success from an external standpoint though fear.... i.e. fear of being poor, fear of being not good enough) or spin your wheels trying to achieve it. in the case of fear driven success, to most people in that position it's not really success. They may have worked really hard in order to avoid their fear, but that doesn't mean they "feel" like a success even though by society's standards they have a great job and a lot of money.

Only about 1-2% of the population writes their goals down in the proper manner or looks at them on a regular basis. Maybe half that use affirmations. Guess how many people in the world are usually considered successful?
 
javaguru said:
My philosophy is to plan for the worst and when everything doesn't go to shit you're pleasantly surprised. :)
Click to expand...

Planning for the worst basically concedes that you are anticipating it. And whenever you anticipate something, it's going to be more likely to happen whether you realize it or not. Not a good way to live.


There's a huge difference in planning for contingencies in the event <xyz> happens or doesn't happen but another thing to just lollygag through life expecting the worst and hope other than the worst case scenario happens.

you should always go into a situation thinking and believing plan A will work..otherwise you'll do it half ass and with a great deal of hesitation or doubt.but just in case plan A doesn't work, you already have plan B or C or D on standby.

In some cases, a contingency isn't always even neccessary before a problem arises. It depends on your perspective. If you're the type of person who looks at everything analytically "i.e. i have this problem. how do i solve it?" instead of getting all emotional and anxious when shit hits the fan, then it's not really a problem. Those type of people can be really successful because they give 100% into everything they do absolutely believing it will work, and when something arises that's unexpected they can look at it from a problem solving perspective.

The cliche expect the worst but hope for the best is a bunch of bullshit and i want to slap people when they say it. Hope is the most passive thing a person can do.

You should expect the best and have a plan just in case the best doesn't happen
 
calveless wonder said:
Planning for the worst basically concedes that you are anticipating it. And whenever you anticipate something, it's going to be more likely to happen whether you realize it or not. Not a good way to live.

There's a huge difference in planning for contingencies in the event <xyz> happens or doesn't happen but another thing to just lollygag through life expecting the worst and hope other than the worst case scenario happens.

you should always go into a situation thinking and believing plan A will work..otherwise you'll do it half ass.but just in case it doesn't, you already have plan B or C or D on standby.

The cliche expect the worst but hope for the best is a bunch of bullshit and i want to slap people when they say it.

You should expect the best and have a plan for the worst.
Click to expand...

I've never been let down by expecting people to fuck up their basic duties or unforeseen sticky problems. An overly optimistic attitude is what created the internet and housing bubbles...shit doesn't go up forever. I sold my tech stocks a few months before the crash and avoided the internet bubble because I knew people were overly optimistic and too caught up in their greed to realize how over valued tech stocks were. Generally speaking, when people realize they need to implement their contingency plan, after abandoning their optimistic position, it's too late. I can give you a list of disasters where people didn't plan for the worst case scenario...the oil spill in the Gulf is the most recent.

The book "Code Complete" is the bible of software development and the basic rule for planning a software project is to take your estimate..double it and double it again.
 
javaguru said:
I've never been let down by expecting people to fuck up their basic duties or unforeseen sticky problems. An overly optimistic attitude is what created the internet and housing bubbles...shit doesn't go up forever. I sold my tech stocks a few months before the crash and avoided the internet bubble because I knew people were overly optimistic and too caught up in their greed to realize how over valued tech stocks were. Generally speaking, when people realize they need to implement their contingency plan, after abandoning their optimistic position, it's too late. I can give you a list of disasters where people didn't plan for the worst case scenario...the oil spill in the Gulf is the most recent.

The book "Code Complete" is the bible of software development and the basic rule for planning a software project is to take your estimate..double it and double it again.
Click to expand...

there's a huge difference between blind optimism without reevaluating your position from time to time, and a well structured plan A that accounts for many factors you can potentially face.

Being optimistic and being an idiot with no plan or scope of the market are not mutually exclusive. it's not an excuse to not have a well laid out plan or being completely ignorant to what's realistic.

that's what people don't understand when they think it's stupid to optimistic.


If your well laid out plan is dependent on a lot of external variables also, which are harder to control, then the mindset is going to be a bit different. It depends on what you are trying to accomplish. Anything where you have little direct control over is going to be much more difficult to attain.
 
calveless wonder said:
This is exactly the type of thinking that essentially leads to mediocrity in life. But hey, if you're happy with mediocrity, go with that.

No, that's exact type of thinking that helps you discern egocentric people from humble
people. It's good to be confident as long it's in the realm of reality. I think the post was
about idealists who who are presumptuous and make boastful claims.

Define Mediocrity then I'll give you my answer.

People who use affirmations obviously realize they are not the things they consist of in the affirmation. They don't go around with a sense of entitlement. They construe these statements as merely a tool to shift the paradigm of their internal thought process. In psychology, narcissism is ACTIVELY displayed on the conscious level, so there is a huge difference. Before you go throwing around blanket terms, i think you should realize what the terms actually entail.

Before you going around giving definitions of Psych terms I think you need to realise what
they mean. Your not Dr. Elsa Ronningstam who studied Narcissism for 40 yrs.
What UNDERWRAPS noted was all traits of Narcissism ( Boasting what they have and how
great their lives are (lovers of their selves) narcissism in the highest form. Which when
you constantley brag about you self all the time it's on a conscious level.

It's a tool to shift the subconscious which is incapable of cognitive function and deciphering reality from truth. So whatever message is delivered, it will manifest on a subconscious level which ultimately results in the gearing of your actions or autopilot. You never actually THINK about these things. they just occur.

So in essance you really believe your something special living in Never Never land
(delusions of grandeur) which usually starts in the subconscious but eventually ends up
in the conscious.Beacause you constantly entertain those thoughts.

The fact successful people use affirmations as well as goal setting (concrete goal setting...as in SMART goals. Specific, measurable, attainable, realistic and timely/timeframe) is not a coincidence. Success has to start internally or else you either fall into it by accident (i.e. some people achieve what might be deemed success from an external standpoint though fear.... i.e. fear of being poor, fear of being not good enough) or spin your wheels trying to achieve it. in the case of fear driven success, to most people in that position it's not really success. They may have worked really hard in order to avoid their fear, but that doesn't mean they "feel" like a success even though by society's standards they have a great job and a lot of money.

I'll give you that one for the most part. But define success, there are 1000 members here
on EF, and i bet the farm you would have at least 500 different interpetations of success.

Only about 1-2% of the population writes their goals down in the proper manner or looks at them on a regular basis. Maybe half that use affirmations. Guess how many people in the world are usually considered successful?
Click to expand...

Who determines who's successful or not. Some stupid case study. The most successful
people IMO are the one's who are humble and don't have to boast about what they have, and
what they have accomplished or going to accomplish. People with low self esteem do those things which is another trait of narcissism.
 
I think affirmations work. They can create and reinforce healthy attitudes/states of mind.
I think the ones that use a positive message that says that the healthy attitude already exists works better (I am vs I can be).
As for perfect people, I am always turned off by people who act as though their lives are perfect. I believe that friendship and rapport is built on sharing some of our most vulnerable aspects-essentially telling the other person: "Hey, I am not perfect, but I try hard, and I am going to do my best every day to get along in life and be an authentic person. You might not always be happy with me, you might not like the things I say, but I am going to be honest about who I am and what I want, and what you see is what you get. I'm not going to be fake, or pretend that my life is shiny and perfect".
 
Psychology is now heading into a new direction... Incremental thinking or growth mindset vs entity mindsets...
As children we are praised for being smart, for picking things up quickly, well as a result alot of children grow up preoccupied with 'defending' the self, and not trying new things, or when challenged, just giving up, cause they are not gonna be rewarded immediately with praise.
They get concerned with qualities 'qualities', and not not finding solutions.

For some reason, the 'incremental' mindset children, or growth mindset, compare themselves to those who do better, and are less concerned with defending their 'reputations' or identity, and just wanna solve the problem. Over time they are the ones, who despite problematic situations, flourish.

A study was done on kids who in undergraduate suffered from dysphoria, or mild depression, now this is an ideal situation, as activities that normally bring u pleasure, are just now numbing, and no sensation of satisfaction is obtained. So the subjects who had a 'entity' or fixed mindset, those who were concerned more with defending and protecting their version of the self, or self esteem, absolutely failed. They lay in bed, and became despondent.

The subjects who had a growth mindset, or incremental, the ones that somehow understood, over time, that life is process based, well, strangely, they were still depressed, yet their energy levels were higher, and the dysphoria passed much quicker, as they remained entrenched in a life that did not suffer loss of activity and agency.

Point is Happy people, somehow understand it aint' 'identity' but activity...

I'm working on this too.
 
-Ariel- said:
Psychology is now heading into a new direction... Incremental thinking or growth mindset vs entity mindsets...
As children we are praised for being smart, for picking things up quickly, well as a result alot of children grow up preoccupied with 'defending' the self, and not trying new things, or when challenged, just giving up, cause they are not gonna be rewarded immediately with praise.
They get concerned with qualities 'qualities', and not not finding solutions.

For some reason, the 'incremental' mindset children, or growth mindset, compare themselves to those who do better, and are less concerned with defending their 'reputations' or identity, and just wanna solve the problem. Over time they are the ones, who despite problematic situations, flourish.

A study was done on kids who in undergraduate suffered from dysphoria, or mild depression, now this is an ideal situation, as activities that normally bring u pleasure, are just now numbing, and no sensation of satisfaction is obtained. So the subjects who had a 'entity' or fixed mindset, those who were concerned more with defending and protecting their version of the self, or self esteem, absolutely failed. They lay in bed, and became despondent.

The subjects who had a growth mindset, or incremental, the ones that somehow understood, over time, that life is process based, well, strangely, they were still depressed, yet their energy levels were higher, and the dysphoria passed much quicker, as they remained entrenched in a life that did not suffer loss of activity and agency.

Point is Happy people, somehow understand it aint' 'identity' but activity...

I'm working on this too.
Click to expand...

You just destroyed Erik Erikson's Psychosocial development theory.

Nevertheless, if it's any consolation too you !! I liked your post, very good!!!
 
-Ariel- said:
Psychology is now heading into a new direction... Incremental thinking or growth mindset vs entity mindsets...
As children we are praised for being smart, for picking things up quickly, well as a result alot of children grow up preoccupied with 'defending' the self, and not trying new things, or when challenged, just giving up, cause they are not gonna be rewarded immediately with praise.
They get concerned with qualities 'qualities', and not not finding solutions.

For some reason, the 'incremental' mindset children, or growth mindset, compare themselves to those who do better, and are less concerned with defending their 'reputations' or identity, and just wanna solve the problem. Over time they are the ones, who despite problematic situations, flourish.

A study was done on kids who in undergraduate suffered from dysphoria, or mild depression, now this is an ideal situation, as activities that normally bring u pleasure, are just now numbing, and no sensation of satisfaction is obtained. So the subjects who had a 'entity' or fixed mindset, those who were concerned more with defending and protecting their version of the self, or self esteem, absolutely failed. They lay in bed, and became despondent.

The subjects who had a growth mindset, or incremental, the ones that somehow understood, over time, that life is process based, well, strangely, they were still depressed, yet their energy levels were higher, and the dysphoria passed much quicker, as they remained entrenched in a life that did not suffer loss of activity and agency.

Point is Happy people, somehow understand it aint' 'identity' but activity...

I'm working on this too.
Click to expand...

i fuck up waaaay too much to be concerned with not fucking up...i'm pretty happy most of the time too :)
 
digimon7068 said:
i fuck up waaaay too much to be concerned with not fucking up...i'm pretty happy most of the time too :)
Click to expand...

LOL...
Yeah, I know, U worry alot... U got a good ratio of worry/take action ratio.

Somehow, u got a radar that allows you to associate reward, with being uncomfortable, or anxious.

There are studies being done on specifying the increments.

Really, it's just common sense.

Hey, this is an excellent book on raising kids, that way.

www.mindsetonline.com
 
-Ariel- said:
Psychology is now heading into a new direction... Incremental thinking or growth mindset vs entity mindsets...
As children we are praised for being smart, for picking things up quickly, well as a result alot of children grow up preoccupied with 'defending' the self, and not trying new things, or when challenged, just giving up, cause they are not gonna be rewarded immediately with praise.
They get concerned with qualities 'qualities', and not not finding solutions.

For some reason, the 'incremental' mindset children, or growth mindset, compare themselves to those who do better, and are less concerned with defending their 'reputations' or identity, and just wanna solve the problem. Over time they are the ones, who despite problematic situations, flourish.

A study was done on kids who in undergraduate suffered from dysphoria, or mild depression, now this is an ideal situation, as activities that normally bring u pleasure, are just now numbing, and no sensation of satisfaction is obtained. So the subjects who had a 'entity' or fixed mindset, those who were concerned more with defending and protecting their version of the self, or self esteem, absolutely failed. They lay in bed, and became despondent.

The subjects who had a growth mindset, or incremental, the ones that somehow understood, over time, that life is process based, well, strangely, they were still depressed, yet their energy levels were higher, and the dysphoria passed much quicker, as they remained entrenched in a life that did not suffer loss of activity and agency.

Point is Happy people, somehow understand it aint' 'identity' but activity...

I'm working on this too.
Click to expand...

Interesting. I went to the website http://www.mindsetonline.com/testyourmindset/results.php
and took the test out of curiosity. I got 8/8 for growth mindset.
The questions were very repetitive though. Why is that?
 
digimon7068 said:
i fuck up waaaay too much to be concerned with not fucking up...i'm pretty happy most of the time too :)
Click to expand...

IMO, you learn much more from your mistakes than your successes. Constant success encourages complacency which eventually leads to a failure which you just might learn something from if you're open re-evaluating your assumptions and methods.
 
javaguru said:
IMO, you learn much more from your mistakes than your successes. Constant success encourages complacency which eventually leads to a failure which you just might learn something from if you're open re-evaluating your assumptions and methods.
Click to expand...

Yeah, but the thing is... most people aren't willing.

I'm not gonna look or bring up the stats... but chicken soup for th soul, it ain't.

Still, if you can reframe the past, then it make moving on, quite more feasible. Gotta be backed by Will, Drive, Spine, whatever you wanna call it.
 
digimon7068 said:
i am not very good (but i'm working on it)...
i am not very smart (but i'm working on it)...
and anyone that doesn't like me can take a number...and wait in that line over there...for their turn to go fuck themselves.

-Me :)
Click to expand...

Is that a big printed sign you put up behind your desk during tax season?
 
Wulfgar said:
They absolutely do. Wether conciously or unconciously. One thing Ive noticed about truly successful people is that they are eternal optimists.
It really is about responsibility, preparation, and opportunity.
Click to expand...

ETERNAL OPTIMISTS - I like that. :leap:
 
digimon7068 said:
i am not very good (but i'm working on it)...
i am not very smart (but i'm working on it)...
and anyone that doesn't like me can take a number...and wait in that line over there...for their turn to go fuck themselves.

-Me :)
Click to expand...

LOL. I'm playing w/new faces and here's a cute one on that note: :mommakin:
 
calveless wonder said:
Planning for the worst basically concedes that you are anticipating it. And whenever you anticipate something, it's going to be more likely to happen whether you realize it or not. Not a good way to live.


There's a huge difference in planning for contingencies in the event <xyz> happens or doesn't happen but another thing to just lollygag through life expecting the worst and hope other than the worst case scenario happens.

you should always go into a situation thinking and believing plan A will work..otherwise you'll do it half ass and with a great deal of hesitation or doubt.but just in case plan A doesn't work, you already have plan B or C or D on standby.

In some cases, a contingency isn't always even neccessary before a problem arises. It depends on your perspective. If you're the type of person who looks at everything analytically "i.e. i have this problem. how do i solve it?" instead of getting all emotional and anxious when shit hits the fan, then it's not really a problem. Those type of people can be really successful because they give 100% into everything they do absolutely believing it will work, and when something arises that's unexpected they can look at it from a problem solving perspective.

The cliche expect the worst but hope for the best is a bunch of bullshit and i want to slap people when they say it. Hope is the most passive thing a person can do.

You should expect the best and have a plan just in case the best doesn't happen
Click to expand...

In short, concrete plans and backup plans are good. Be prepared for the worst. Got it. Organization is my summer goal and so part of that is getting rid of crap cluttering up my house and life. If I want to have a business, I have to get my home straight first- on a consistent basis. When I've achieved that, I will start the process of carrying out my business plans. Thanks.
 
ledhead said:
Who determines who's successful or not. Some stupid case study. The most successful
people IMO are the one's who are humble and don't have to boast about what they have, and
what they have accomplished or going to accomplish. People with low self esteem do those things which is another trait of narcissism.
Click to expand...

People with low self esteem go out of their way to put people down while building themselves up. They're overcompensating for something. I think affirmations are goals in silly form- but no less useful and handy like goals.
 
Underwraps said:
Are you speaking from the perspective of an Eagle above looking down on the lowlies or pond scum looking up at the impossible surface you can't reach yourself?
Click to expand...


No, So we figured it out the post was all about you. You probably think your
special, and your positive attitude you have is a front masking a self righteous, superficial snob.Who needs attention on web sight! Your the eagle I'm the scum! sit down!
I probably make more in a quarter then you make in a year!
 
trex74 said:
I think affirmations work. They can create and reinforce healthy attitudes/states of mind.
I think the ones that use a positive message that says that the healthy attitude already exists works better (I am vs I can be).
As for perfect people, I am always turned off by people who act as though their lives are perfect. I believe that friendship and rapport is built on sharing some of our most vulnerable aspects-essentially telling the other person: "Hey, I am not perfect, but I try hard, and I am going to do my best every day to get along in life and be an authentic person. You might not always be happy with me, you might not like the things I say, but I am going to be honest about who I am and what I want, and what you see is what you get. I'm not going to be fake, or pretend that my life is shiny and perfect".
Click to expand...

Aah, wisdom and good vibes. If this thread were a plant, it would be pakalolo/ganja sp?(I don't do drugs though) or a good salad of organic greens with sliced mangoes on top. Thanks guys.:rainbow:
 
-Ariel- said:
Psychology is now heading into a new direction... Incremental thinking or growth mindset vs entity mindsets...
As children we are praised for being smart, for picking things up quickly, well as a result alot of children grow up preoccupied with 'defending' the self, and not trying new things, or when challenged, just giving up, cause they are not gonna be rewarded immediately with praise.
They get concerned with qualities 'qualities', and not not finding solutions.

For some reason, the 'incremental' mindset children, or growth mindset, compare themselves to those who do better, and are less concerned with defending their 'reputations' or identity, and just wanna solve the problem. Over time they are the ones, who despite problematic situations, flourish.

A study was done on kids who in undergraduate suffered from dysphoria, or mild depression, now this is an ideal situation, as activities that normally bring u pleasure, are just now numbing, and no sensation of satisfaction is obtained. So the subjects who had a 'entity' or fixed mindset, those who were concerned more with defending and protecting their version of the self, or self esteem, absolutely failed. They lay in bed, and became despondent.

The subjects who had a growth mindset, or incremental, the ones that somehow understood, over time, that life is process based, well, strangely, they were still depressed, yet their energy levels were higher, and the dysphoria passed much quicker, as they remained entrenched in a life that did not suffer loss of activity and agency.

Point is Happy people, somehow understand it aint' 'identity' but activity...

I'm working on this too.
Click to expand...

I LIKE this! I'm using it this week. Thanks!
 
javaguru said:
IMO, you learn much more from your mistakes than your successes. Constant success encourages complacency which eventually leads to a failure which you just might learn something from if you're open re-evaluating your assumptions and methods.
Click to expand...

Yes yes. I will not be upset by business failures but look to solutions to FIX the problems. We're all just restating the obvious, but reading, hearing, rethinking them help to reset them or reinforce them in our heads which I think is the purpose of affirmations. Rethinking, reinforcing, resetting.
 
ledhead said:
No, So we figured it out the post was all about you. You probably think your
special, and your positive attitude you have is a front masking a self righteous, superficial snob.Who needs attention on web sight! Your the eagle I'm the scum! sit down!
I probably make more in a quarter then you make in a year!
Click to expand...

Now that's the eagle saying I'm the scum saying I'm the eagle saying you're the scum. Who needs to sit down, really?
 
Underwraps said:
People with low self esteem go out of their way to put people down while building themselves up. They're overcompensating for something. I think affirmations are goals in silly form- but no less useful and handy like goals.
Click to expand...


Led, I think you took this post wrong. I wasn't counteracting, I was adding. No need to be defensive, it wasn't in reference to you. I've done nothing but self deprecate other than my defense of my hope for my kids, so where is this coming from?
 
ledhead said:
No, So we figured it out the post was all about you. You probably think your
special, and your positive attitude you have is a front masking a self righteous, superficial snob.Who needs attention on web sight! Your the eagle I'm the scum! sit down!
I probably make more in a quarter then you make in a year!
Click to expand...

The post is all about US. I invited you to be narcissistic WITH me. And what was it you were saying about people who are humble? Bragging about how much you makes suuuuuure sounds humble. Again, nothing I wrote targeted you other than the eagle question just wondering if you were the one judging or feeling judged. You're obviously the one judging, again, not a humble thing to do. I should not have tried an analogy or used pond scum- too harsh. My bad.

There are some folks here who are pro-psycholigists, what does one say about someone who is constantly negative and looking for cheap shots? What's the fancy jargon for this? And why do people who don't like negative people call positive people self righteous? If it's b/c I want to be positive and nice and civil, I'll take the label. Thank you. I AM SELF RIGHTEOUS, SO RIGHTEOUS! RightCHUS, RIGHTeous. SELF righteous.... The more I say righteous, the more I like it!
 
ledhead said:
No, So we figured it out the post was all about you. You probably think your
special, and your positive attitude you have is a front masking a self righteous, superficial snob.Who needs attention on web sight! Your the eagle I'm the scum! sit down!
I probably make more in a quarter then you make in a year!
Click to expand...

*you're
*a website
*than
 
Underwraps said:
Led, I think you took this post wrong. I wasn't counteracting, I was adding. No need to be defensive, it wasn't in reference to you. I've done nothing but self deprecate other than my defense of my hope for my kids, so where is this coming from?
Click to expand...


I'm sorry myself, i didn't mean to put you out there like that. It seemed like you felt like
I was raining on your parade, and i wasn't. After you posted the thread it heated up, and
I totally believe people should have a positive attitude in life. I can't stand pessimists people
walking around talking negative all the time. However, i was making a reference to the very
end of your post which sounded like the people you were talking about were always boasting how great their lives are. How they have more material items, more money, Great kids, the best of everything,. That's were I brought up the psych issues these types have.

Again, I'm sorry! if i offended you, but it sounded like you were coming at me sideways.
 
calveless wonder said:
This is exactly the type of thinking that essentially leads to mediocrity in life. But hey, if you're happy with mediocrity, go with that.

People who use affirmations obviously realize they are not the things they consist of in the affirmation. They don't go around with a sense of entitlement. They construe these statements as merely a tool to shift the paradigm of their internal thought process. In psychology, narcissism is ACTIVELY displayed on the conscious level, so there is a huge difference. Before you go throwing around blanket terms, i think you should realize what the terms actually entail.

It's a tool to shift the subconscious which is incapable of cognitive function and deciphering reality from truth. So whatever message is delivered, it will manifest on a subconscious level which ultimately results in the gearing of your actions or autopilot. You never actually THINK about these things. they just occur.

The fact successful people use affirmations as well as goal setting (concrete goal setting...as in SMART goals. Specific, measurable, attainable, realistic and timely/timeframe) is not a coincidence. Success has to start internally or else you either fall into it by accident (i.e. some people achieve what might be deemed success from an external standpoint though fear.... i.e. fear of being poor, fear of being not good enough) or spin your wheels trying to achieve it. in the case of fear driven success, to most people in that position it's not really success. They may have worked really hard in order to avoid their fear, but that doesn't mean they "feel" like a success even though by society's standards they have a great job and a lot of money.

Only about 1-2% of the population writes their goals down in the proper manner or looks at them on a regular basis. Maybe half that use affirmations. Guess how many people in the world are usually considered successful?
Click to expand...

hey guys, i think CW uses affirmations
 
PICK3 said:
http://www.elitefitness.com/forum/members/mrplunkey.html
Click to expand...

I'm laughing, but still don't get it....I still can't tell if it's a good thing or a bad thing. So, been coming up with my own definitions.

Mo'ed up: 1) What the Jeffersons did in when they came into money "Weezy, we gone mo'ed up to da top!", said George.
2) What happens when someone beats the crap out of you "I got mo'ed up by mrplunkey last night.", said pick 3.
3) When my lawn looks nice "I just mo'ed up and reconfigured my landing strip.", said Smurphy.
4) When a moderator gets on your case for an infraction which we newbies do a lot:verygood: "Crap, I got mo'ed up for that post.", said Underwraps.
5) When your MOJO meter is on full cuz someone gave you karma bytes "Mr. Bino just mo'ed up my MOJO! :)", said me.
6) When something is just being too much of something "That Cris3kkk is just so mo'ed up."
 
ledhead said:
I'm sorry myself, i didn't mean to put you out there like that. It seemed like you felt like
I was raining on your parade, and i wasn't. After you posted the thread it heated up, and
I totally believe people should have a positive attitude in life. I can't stand pessimists people
walking around talking negative all the time. However, i was making a reference to the very
end of your post which sounded like the people you were talking about were always boasting how great their lives are. How they have more material items, more money, Great kids, the best of everything,. That's were I brought up the psych issues these types have.

Again, I'm sorry! if i offended you, but it sounded like you were coming at me sideways.
Click to expand...

Glass was half full, not half empty. Maybe ask for a refill before you tip the glass over. Apology accepted. Keep the vibes positive, man.:rainbow:
 
Just thought I'd share this. I wish I could give it to every person who won't accept responsibility for their own choices.

The Bottom-Line
[SIZE=+1]Face it: nobody owes you a living.[/SIZE]
[SIZE=+1]What you achieve, or fail to achieve in your lifetime,[/SIZE]
[SIZE=+1]Is directly related to what you do.[/SIZE]
[SIZE=+1]No one chooses his parents or childhood[/SIZE]
[SIZE=+1]But, you can choose your own direction.[/SIZE]
[SIZE=+1]Everyone has problems and obstacles to overcome,[/SIZE]
[SIZE=+1]But that, too, is relative to each individual.[/SIZE]
[SIZE=+1]Nothing is carved in stone.[/SIZE]
[SIZE=+1]You can change anything in your life[/SIZE]
[SIZE=+1]If you really desire to do so.[/SIZE]
[SIZE=+1]Excuses are for losers.[/SIZE]
[SIZE=+1]Those who take responsibility for their actions[/SIZE]
[SIZE=+1]Are the real winners in life.[/SIZE]
[SIZE=+1]Winners meet life's challenges head on[/SIZE]
[SIZE=+1]Knowing that there are no guarantees.[/SIZE]
[SIZE=+1]They give it all they've got[/SIZE]
[SIZE=+1]And never think it's too late,[/SIZE]
[SIZE=+1]Or too early to begin.[/SIZE]
[SIZE=+1]Time plays no favorites[/SIZE]
[SIZE=+1]And will pass whether you act or not.[/SIZE]
[SIZE=+1]Take control of your life:[/SIZE]
[SIZE=+1]Dare to dream and take risks.[/SIZE]
[SIZE=+1]Compete.[/SIZE]
[SIZE=+1]If you aren't willing to work for your dreams,[/SIZE]
[SIZE=+1]Don't expect others to work for yours.[/SIZE]
[SIZE=+1]Believe in yourself,[/SIZE]

[SIZE=+1]The Bottom-Line![/SIZE]
[SIZE=+1]Author Unknown [/SIZE]
​
 
chris302001 said:
lol no i think the message of self responsibility and life being what you make of it works.
Click to expand...

I agree, you want something go for it, I hate people who leave things to faith, destiny and God, like if it's "meant to be" it will happen.... what ever....
 
chris302001 said:
lol no i think the message of self responsibility and life being what you make of it works.
Click to expand...

:verygood: You actually said something w/o an expletive to me? Damn, now I'm really gonna miss you. Leaving to help Smurf out? Life for her is crappy, but she's scrappy. Who needs luck when you have tenacity right?
 
Underwraps said:
:verygood: You actually said something w/o an expletive to me? Damn, now I'm really gonna miss you. Leaving to help Smurf out? Life for her is crappy, but she's scrappy. Who needs luck when you have tenacity right?
Click to expand...

Why is this a negative post? It was actually meant to be positive.
 
Underwraps said:
:verygood: You actually said something w/o an expletive to me? Damn, now I'm really gonna miss you. Leaving to help Smurf out? Life for her is crappy, but she's scrappy. Who needs luck when you have tenacity right?
Click to expand...
Funny, you make this thread about being successful and being a "good" person, yet you put down two individuals who you know nothing about.

In my eyes that's pathetic.

It's sad we lost a valued member who helped and respected everyone and gained a slimeball rat like you....
 
iggy said:
Funny, you make this thread about being successful and being a "good" person, yet you put down two individuals who you know nothing about.

In my eyes that's pathetic.

It's sad we lost a valued member who helped and respected everyone and gained a slimeball rat like you....
Click to expand...

I was giving Smurf a compliment! She's scrappy! I was refering to her getting layed off - that was about the crappy part. It was just a joke not executed well. Read it with a different POV. I was still poking fun at them for all the s**t they gave me, but also trying to be facetious. Geez, I hope THEY got it. I was not attacking, I was trying to joke w/them. I actually saw they were trying to be cool with me. They were leaving good karma b4 their departure only I didn't know they were leaving or left. Can you see where my heart :heart: was now?
 
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