do you hold a grudge?

[sugashane]

I can carry a grudge like a suitcase handcuffed to my wrist if I want.

+1. Key word is "can" though.

 

[Thandie]

for some reason, I am unable to hold a grudge in life. Now, you may think this is a positive trait but it isn't. It means that people tend to do things repeatedly and I keep forgiving so long as they say they are sorry. I seriously have to quit doing that!

How about you? Do you forgive and forget or do you have the memory of an elephant?

I'm like you and can't hold a grudge. Sometimes is embarassing because sometimes someone has done me wrong, then I run into the person years or months ago and I forget what happens and I say "Oh HI how are you" Of course they look at me like I'm nuts, then I remember this person has done me wrong. However, if I'm wronged a few times, I cut them off completely. At that point I don't forget.

 

[heatherrae]

I'll tell you how to learn to do it, because I had a problem with it, too, and wish I had this as an option when I was a young mother: WATCH Nanny 911 and SuperNanny! Religiously! I'm dead serious. Watch enough of those shows and you learn what you need to do to head off bad habits getting ingrained in kids and how important consistency and all that other shit is.

Look, children learn by example. Well those lessons carry through into your adulthood. How do we really learn to parent, other than by watching what our own parents did when we ourselves were kids? Well, if you grew up in a household that was in any way dysfunctional, you're just going to pass those lessons on to your kid. Despite all hopes otherwise, you WILL do everything your parents did under a stress situation unless you have prepared a backup plan on how to handle catastrophes.

Yeah, that's a good idea. I don't have television (no cable) but I find that show very entertaining when I do get to see. it. I read lots of parenting books but I tend to have a laid back, somewhat permissive style already with my son. I wouldn't let him be a brat, though. He's really too young right now to discipline much. I just try to redirect him or distract him for now when he gets into things he shouldn't, but I know the day is getting here when he will be more willful.

 

[musclemom]

Yeah, that's a good idea. I don't have television (no cable) but I find that show very entertaining when I do get to see. it. I read lots of parenting books but I tend to have a laid back, somewhat permissive style already with my son. I wouldn't let him be a brat, though. He's really too young right now to discipline much. I just try to redirect him or distract him for now when he gets into things he shouldn't, but I know the day is getting here when he will be more willful.

Heather, just keep it in the back of your mind, okay? Nobody sets out to parent a brat, it just happens and there you are.

Boys can be every bit as manipulative as girls, seriously, and that manipulation starts around age 2 (I'm not kidding). I'm not talking about disciplining him, now, actually what I'm saying is laying down laws early on. The big thing with kids is 1) Set a schedule, stick to it, kids thrive with essentially the military mind set; 2) give them responsibilities early on, even a 2 or 3 year old can pick up their room and help make the bed, put away clothes, etc.; 3) Be consistent. If you said NO to it yesterday, say no to it today and say no to it tomorrow and don't waver. If you said yes to it yesterday and you say no to it today, that sends mixed messages; 4) don't let them get under your skin and don't blow your top.

 

[Scotsman]

I wouldn't say I hold a grudge per se. Though if I feel someone has truly wronged me they might as well have died. I won't speak to them unless absolutely necessary and I wouldn't take the time to piss on them if they were on fire.

If I feel I have been wronged I am absolutely incapable of forgiving them ever, but I don't let it steer my life I just cut them out like a cancer.

Cheers,
Scotsman

 

[velvett]

I can carry a grudge like a suitcase handcuffed to my wrist if I want.

So can I.

I can forgive or excuse but there's very little that I can forget.

I'm open to give people chances to redeem themselves but I am equally as open to not give those chances and have no problem with that.

 

[Creepusmaximus]

for some reason, I am unable to hold a grudge in life. Now, you may think this is a positive trait but it isn't. It means that people tend to do things repeatedly and I keep forgiving so long as they say they are sorry. I seriously have to quit doing that!

How about you? Do you forgive and forget or do you have the memory of an elephant?

Liar. Women in general can't let anything go.

 

[heatherrae]

I don't hold and grudge either HR. At times I have even said to myself "I WISH I could still be mad at them for what they did to me because they deserve it!" But I cannot do it. I get over stuff really easy.

Exactly what I say to myself!

 

[the_alcatraz]

I am too quick to forgive.

 

[heatherrae]

Heather, just keep it in the back of your mind, okay? Nobody sets out to parent a brat, it just happens and there you are.

Boys can be every bit as manipulative as girls, seriously, and that manipulation starts around age 2 (I'm not kidding). I'm not talking about disciplining him, now, actually what I'm saying is laying down laws early on. The big thing with kids is 1) Set a schedule, stick to it, kids thrive with essentially the military mind set; 2) give them responsibilities early on, even a 2 or 3 year old can pick up their room and help make the bed, put away clothes, etc.; 3) Be consistent. If you said NO to it yesterday, say no to it today and say no to it tomorrow and don't waver. If you said yes to it yesterday and you say no to it today, that sends mixed messages; 4) don't let them get under your skin and don't blow your top.

that is great advice. i do need to be more structured with him. i need work in that area.