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My teenage son

let her dad put the fear of god in him, first girl i ever dated her dad showed up at the door with his shotgun and a shovel, either that if you really want to break them up, create a fake facebook and start posting flirty things on his facebook page and she will dump him and then boom no sex
 
dabuffguy said:
Why are you under the impression that every teen will respond to discipline by learning how to lie and sneak around more stealthily or turn to some other form of wayward behavior?
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because i've raised 3 children to adulthood, 2 of my own and 1 that was adopted..

and i've had the opportunity to read many books on child development and behavioral modification..

positive motivation in children and in business is always preferred and more effective than negative reinforcement.

but that's just me... oh and my own behavior as a teen and rebellious young adult..

your experience must be different..
 
SpyWizard said:
or you'll take his phone again right?? looks like he's already learned that lesson..

good luck, the girls father may freak out on her and threaten your son with statutory rape.. depending on your states laws..

just sayin
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What the fuck are you talking about???

Fucking statutory rape? They are the same fucking age.

Look, you wanna make some solid suggestions on how to handle this, I'm game. But I have read anything useful in one post you've made.

You act like I should have just let him have the phone and continue an explicit conversation. I get positive reinforcement but he is gonna have negative consequences when he does something he shouldn't.

And I seemed to do fine with with the other boy I raised with similar methods.
 
just...v said:
What the fuck are you talking about???

Fucking statutory rape? They are the same fucking age.

Look, you wanna make some solid suggestions on how to handle this, I'm game. But I have read anything useful in one post you've made.

You act like I should have just let him have the phone and continue an explicit conversation. I get positive reinforcement but he is gonna have negative consequences when he does something he shouldn't.

And I seemed to do fine with with the other boy I raised with similar methods.
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I do agree though that its entirely possible that the girls parents might take the total cocksucker approach. Meaning your son is the asshole and instigator no matter what. Same age or not some parents like to talk out their ass and make empty threats too. Just be prepared for that too.
 
dabuffguy said:
I had the same conversation 5 years ago, and they ended up doing it anyways. I still remember the text I saw on his phone:

"You're lucky your so darn cute that I just have to fall into whatever you want me to do."

This is the mind of a lovestruck horny boy.

I called him on it, and asked him specifically if he would have sex with her if she wanted. Of course he said no, but they did anyways months later, and did it often.

I hope that your son was sincere, and since I don't know him nor did I hear his tone in response, I will say that you need to be the one to determine whether or not he was sincere. Ignore any impulse that tells you to deny your son would lie to you in an important conversation, and be objective. If he really was sincere, then you have made progress.

The next step is to talk with her parents. Sooner rather than later.

Also, tonight, kiss your son while he's in bed and tell him you love him.
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:)

I told him I loved him. And I will. I told him that when he was little I wanted to give him everything, but it didn't work out that way. So all I can do is try to raise him to be the best man he can be. I asked him to consider the consequences carefully. He will most likely condem himself and her to a life of struggle and poverty if she were to have a baby. I told him he has a chance to make a much better life for himself and not to lose sight of his goals.

I really do think he meant what he said. In the beginning of the conversation he admitted he would sleep with her if she gave him the chance. After we talked he was changing his tune. I'm not sure if he can show the restraint in the heat of the moment.
 
Burnthiscorpse said:
I do agree though that its entirely possible that the girls parents might take the total cocksucker approach. Meaning your son is the asshole and instigator no matter what. Same age or not some parents like to talk out their ass and make empty threats too. Just be prepared for that too.
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This is my fear. That's why I was hoping someone who was the father of a girl could help me out with my approach. I'd be more protective of a girl.
 
just...v said:
This is my fear. That's why I was hoping someone who was the father of a girl could help me out with my approach. I'd be more protective of a girl.
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But a father is a dude....and if he's like normal dudes he's a scum bag deep down and doesn't want another scum bag fucking with his daughter. There's that angle too. I know people say girls are easier but I'm glad I have a boy. I couldn't handle the thought sooner or later of some dude stuffing his schlong in my little girl.
 
Burnthiscorpse said:
But a father is a dude....and if he's like normal dudes he's a scum bag deep down and doesn't want another scum bag fucking with his daughter. There's that angle too. I know people say girls are easier but I'm glad I have a boy. I couldn't handle the thought sooner or later of some dude stuffing his schlong in my little girl.
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Girls are easier?

Lol. Everyone I have ever heard say anything about that said boys are much easier.

I pray I have all boys. I don't want a daughter.
 
as long as he is dating and says he is 'in love' with her they are gonna fool around..

i agree with what burn said above, best thing is for him to not date in high school seriously.. go out on a friday night with friends after the game and have dinner/play darts or whatever kids in your town do. but not to obsess over a girl and just hang out with her all the time like it sounds like he is doing. its a bad situation no matter what.. lets say they stay together and then at 18 one goes off to NY for school and the other to FL or whatever.. then what? you get broken hearts with kids who don't know any better.

a lot of guys in high school are too dorky to get girls. the jocks that got girls i can remember several of them go their gf's pregnant and i remember those girls getting abortions or sometimes having the baby and being pregnant at 16..

I had 2 gf's during high school. one of them wanted to get dicked but i turned her down, but we did other things.. reason i turned her down was just because i didn't feel like i was ready, we were only together like a week and she wanted sex... i made 5.20 an hour and i didn't want a baby, i had goals in life and wanted to go to college etc... we dated for 3 months and I had a car so we almost ended up having sex a couple times but we would get interrupted either at my parents house or when we tried to skip school we would get caught. so it never happened luckily. i regret getting into a relationship like that because i ultimately got mind fucked by this girl, now i hear she has 3 kids by 2 different guys... so i could of easily been one of those guys. her parents were dysfunctional and her dad was some irish dude who never liked that his daughter was dating so i beleive his strictness backfired.

anyway they are gonna eventually find a way to do it so its gonna be up to him and what he has learned and seen from life experiences which will determine if he goes through with it or if he says no he wants to wait. but it sounds like a bad situation if he says he 'loves her' .. i would rather my teenage son have sex than be in love with a girl at that age. its gonna end bad eventually. my point being him being in a serious relationship at 15 is more dangerous to me than having protective sex a few times with girls he doesn't really care about. sneak some condoms into his wallet and backpack and try and convince him that he doesn't really love her and there is a big difference between him liking this girl a lot and actual love. hopefully she doesn't end up like burn said keeping him from his goals.. i remember friends that would turn down scholarships or opportunities to go to colleges to stay in our shit town just to be with a girl and then a year later that girl dumps them or cheats on them. those are opportunities that don't come around a 2nd time
 
V.....

I know you've heard a bunch of opinions already about involving blueshirt with your kids, but I think dabuffguy could not have said it any better:

dabuffguy said:
I used to be a tempermental, impatient prick and since growing close to my 14yo cousin these last couple years I have turned into much more of a gentle, yet still masculine person. Not only have I been a support and guidance to him, but he has also made me a much better person through striving to be that good example and wanting him to have someone like that to look to because honestly, I love that kid more than anyone else. His parents thank me for being a good role model and a "big brother".
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If you could get a similar result from connecting your son to blueshirt, how great would that be? For your son, for blueshirt, and for you!
 
SpyWizard said:
because i've raised 3 children to adulthood, 2 of my own and 1 that was adopted..

and i've had the opportunity to read many books on child development and behavioral modification..

positive motivation in children and in business is always preferred and more effective than negative reinforcement.

but that's just me... oh and my own behavior as a teen and rebellious young adult..

your experience must be different..
Click to expand...

I think SpyWizard has some excellent advice and philosophy, in theory. But in application, it is not so simple.
positive motivation should always be considered with teaching kids, but that doesn't mean it will always work.
Is it possible to have a 15 year old boy want to avoid sex the same way you want him to avoid sex?
Maybe that idea could be instiled in some people, but there is no one way to teach that works for every kid.
 
I trust my 16 year old daughter. She says she doesn't want to have sex. She's an honor student on her schools varsity cross country team, and she's dead-set on going to college outside of CA. She's applying to Notre Dame this year, and isn't going to let a BF or a baby get in her way. I'm glad my kid has goals and a good head on her shoulders.
 
I relieved my aggression in the shower last night, and in my wife's pussy yesterday morning. I might do it again in the office bathroom soon.
 
WoodyO said:
I trust my 16 year old daughter. She says she doesn't want to have sex. She's an honor student on her schools varsity cross country team, and she's dead-set on going to college outside of CA. She's applying to Notre Dame this year, and isn't going to let a BF or a baby get in her way. I'm glad my kid has goals and a good head on her shoulders.
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My son and this girl are both honor students. She seems like a daddy's girl, I don't see anything wrong with that. She isn't spoiled or even overly dramatic. What I like about her is she is real good at calling my son out on his bullshit. But she is not my daughter. These are only first impressions

My son wants me to meet her parents. How do I bring this up gently? I'm sure you guys know how abrasive I can be. I have this mama bear thing that makes me much worse.
 
dabuffguy said:
Your first mistake was letting your son have a girlfriend so young.

I had a cousin who was doing his girlfriend at that age and it is his single greatest regret.


Honestly, I'd be very clear that you feel he should be abstinent and try to enforce that, as effective or ineffective it may be.

I coach high school baseball and I know very well the mindset of the teenage boy. If you raised them from day 1 to keep their pants on, then they much more likely will. If that wasn't really talked about much, then he's going to think that his pecker is freem to come out whenever he feels like it.

Being raised with a strict rule that dating is to wait until 16, I never did have sex as a teenager because usually by 16 you have better control over raging hormones. In fact, I'm in my mid 20's, single and still a virgin because I was raised that sex is for marriage and to wait, and I am waiting. There have have been several opportunities for me to score but I chose not to.

Tell your kid that if he's horny to spank it before hooking up with his girl.

If he was trying to talk her into it, then she probably doesn't want to and he's in the wrong for being aggressive about getting that poon, which is not love at all. Sex and love are not the same thing.
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What u going to do when u fin somebody and that person u saved ur self for didn't do the same . What ur doing with ur wife some other guy was doing the same thing . It would bother the hell out of me .
 
how often do I need to remind everyone of this?

Oral sex is NOT "sexual relations"!

That's like, a law now. The POTUS said so. Executive order and shit.
 
You cannot ask someone to take BC. I never took it nor would I ever! I was smart enough to know when I started having sex that I was not going to force hormones in my body. You cannot ask someone to do that.

Let him wear condoms....non invasive. If he's responsible, he will always wear one.
 
blueta2 said:
You cannot ask someone to take BC. I never took it nor would I ever! I was smart enough to know when I started having sex that I was not going to force hormones in my body. You cannot ask someone to do that.

Let him wear condoms....non invasive. If he's responsible, he will always wear one.
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Walk away skank
 
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blueta2 said:
You cannot ask someone to take BC. I never took it nor would I ever! I was smart enough to know when I started having sex that I was not going to force hormones in my body. You cannot ask someone to do that.

Let him wear condoms....non invasive. If he's responsible, he will always wear one.
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This post is so absurd I've been reading it for the past 5 minutes trying to formulate a response. I still can't figure out what to say.
 
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What's so absurd??! How can another parent ask another parent to put their child on birth control?! That is a VERY personal choice for a person, so it's up to the girl, not the parents, the man or another parent.

The pill is not without side effects.

Pretty friggin easy to understand!
 
-SD- said:
As a ternage mom you have no credibility when telling your teenager to not fuck.
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Sure she does. She's a parent and teaching her child to make better choices. We do learn from our mistakes, though her having kids at 20 is not necessarily a mistake!
 
-SD- said:
Teens arent going to fumble around with condoms in the heat of the moment
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Sure they will if they know the consequences.
There is also something called STD's which the pill does not cover.
It also doesn't mean the women may not forget to take the pill one day.
 
blueta2 said:
Sure she does. She's a parent and teaching her child to make better choices. We do learn from our mistakes, though her having kids at 20 is not necessarily a mistake!
Click to expand...

Yea we already went over all that some time ago here.
 
blueta2 said:
Sure they will if they know the consequences.
There is also something called STD's which the pill does not cover.
It also doesn't mean the women may not forget to take the pill one day.
Click to expand...

Teens know the consequences of tons of stuff in life, but they get their hand stuck in the cookie jar anyhow. No impulse control, thats what makes them teens.
 
blueta2 said:
Go for it!!! Tell me, as a man, how a woman should not control what goes into her body!!
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You said ask. No one is forcing her to take anything. If they are going to be having sex they need to have a discussion about all forms of BC, and if someone wants to ASK the daughter if she'd like to go on BC then they can do so. You made a ridiculous statement and are now twisting words to make it sound more reasonable.
 
-SD- said:
Teens know the consequences of tons of stuff in life, but they get their hand stuck in the cookie jar anyhow. No impulse control, thats what makes them teens.
Click to expand...

Totally agree, but my point was no one can force a woman to take the pill.
 
redshirt27se said:
You said ask. No one is forcing her to take anything. If they are going to be having sex they need to have a discussion about all forms of BC, and if someone wants to ASK the daughter if she'd like to go on BC then they can do so. You made a ridiculous statement and are now twisting words to make it sound more reasonable.
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Of course they need to have a discussion, but V was saying she was going to ask her parents to put her on bc. My point was "you cannot ask another parent or anyone to do anything"...
I was not twisting anything.....my words have been consistent.

You just read it like you chose the first time....
 
blueta2 said:
Of course they need to have a discussion, but V was saying she was going to ask her parents to put her on bc. My point was "you cannot ask another parent or anyone to do anything"...
I was not twisting anything.....my words have been consistent.

You just read it like you chose the first time....
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Consistent is only good when it's subjective or accurate. When you're wrong it's good to mix it up a bit. You're interchanging ask and force as if they were synonyms. Asking implies choice. Force implies no choice. Your original post reeked of misguided feminism, which is hilarious in it's own right since you support the guy always wearing a condom which puts all the power in the male's hands.
 
redshirt27se said:
Consistent is only good when it's subjective or accurate. When you're wrong it's good to mix it up a bit. You're interchanging ask and force as if they were synonyms. Asking implies choice. Force implies no choice. Your original post reeked of misguided feminism, which is hilarious in it's own right since you support the guy always wearing a condom which puts all the power in the male's hands.
Click to expand...

Are you on Bath Salts??!

Oh God forbid the man takes responsibility!
 
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