kids are annoying and pointless thread

[shirlene29]

everyone gave you solid advice bro...

My husband treats my older two obviously different than our two..he doesn't notice it but I do and my 5 yr old has already learned to manipulate it
to be fair the older two have had really horrid male role models and are teenagers to they can be real asshats and the younger two are still young enough that when they do something crazy/annoying they're still cute
I'm MARRIED to the guy and we have kids together so he has more weight in the kid arena than any BOYFRIEND would have, especially one I didn't have kids with.

When I was dating Greg he had zero say over parenting, when I moved in with him he was allowed to enforce his house rules...outside of home was still my parenting arena
he was their friend and if he had a concern over something regarding parenting it was brought up to me and up to me to enforce or veto

Step parents are ultimately always step parents...not the actual parents

My step dad doesn't hold as much weight with me as my dad...my mom is my step brothers' step mom and it goes the same way with them
oddly we do treat each other like distant siblings tho

If its not YOUR baby that you held when they were still wet and puffy eyed...that you stressed over umbilical cords falling off, and diaper rashes...and night time feeding, and toothless grins..and first day of pre-k or kindergarten
and sat with the other parent trying to get jnr to take their first steps between you....or hell fought in an adoption court to have the right to be their parent because you genuinely just love kids and don't have any of your own


you're not going to view things the same because its not the same.
and even when they ARE your own kids, you'll have parenting disagreements that need to be ironed out


it doesn't seem like this relationship is in too good of shape between parenting style differences and the resentment building

 

[cindylou]

Agree shirley. How can a three year old be "appreciative" anyway. Is that how old the little guy is? You don't love kids expecting anything back from them, even gratitude.

 

[smurf2]

Its ok to recognize that you dont want to
Parent other people's kids. That doesnt mean you arent cut out for having your own kids.

 

[smurf2]

Agree shirley. How can a three year old be "appreciative" anyway. Is that how old the little guy is? You don't love kids expecting anything back from them, even gratitude.

Agreed. Some of what the little guy is doing is totally age appropriate. Add in that his parents are divorced and now mommy has a new man in her life. The kid is not going to behave properly all the time. It takes lots of time and patience to teach kids.

 

[mistaballoonhands]

When you get frustrated just stand there with a blank look on your face and dont blink. Look like a crazy man. And then he'll think if he does that again, you might murder him in his sleep. Problem solved.

 

[binö]

this

i love having kids and would never change that.

bino you just don't sound cut out for it, and it sounds like you are going to be a shitty ass step dad anyway. you should get out now bro, and i'm not trying to be a dick. if you're not happy now, nothing a ring will change. kids are needy, they need you to help them and guide them.

if mom doesn't do some things right, well she may not kinow any better. read some parenting books or something.

also, if she starts seeing you be a dickhead to her kids, that will start another strain in the relationship.

Sorry bro, I am sure it's hard being in your shoes. Not all guys are cut out for it. I have a friend who is in your shoes and he is being a stress relieve for mom and helping the situation though.

bro you really don't know me, i've done a pretty good job with my first young kid experience...it just can be frustrating.
the kid is agreeable and mostly easy to work with, i was just pissy and frustrated last night.
his dad has made my life extremely difficult lately (hired PI trailing me, a few calls to my employer allegeing illegal activity, and other things i can't do a thing about) so i am buckling a bit under the weight of all this shit.
i'm a good guy though, and a pretty goood step wtf ever considering what i am working with.

 

[wootoom]

Hey Bino, my gf has been put into a relationship with 2 kids. She wants her own so bad and I jus don't see the connection between her and my kids like the connection I have with them.

I also worry things will change if we have kids together. Which it obviously will a little. There's its up and downs but they are worth it. I love my boys.

 

[AFeedz]

hmmm, i think my opinion is valid regardless if i don't have kids, lotta shitty parents out there should i not judge them just because i have none?
when i see a mom let her 13 yr old daughter date a 25 yr old bro (gf is a sex crimes probation officer for juvies) should i not coment cause i have no kids and just wouldn't understand? that logic doesn't fly with me

I'm with you.

I told a story once on here about being out to dinner and this woman's brat was running through the restaurant like a maniac until he eventually knocked over my drink. I was pissed and I told the woman she had to take care of her kid. She bitched me out for telling her how to raise her kid and some people on here told me I was wrong too.

I don't think I am, though. I don't need to have kids to know when someone is raising a little asshole and when a parent isn't giving their child the proper discipline required for that child to grow up as a well behaved, considerate human being.

My mom would've kicked my ass or just made us all leave if I did that in a restaurant at that kids age.

.............and I completely love kids. I can't wait to have one or two (in like 6 years lol).

 

[mrplunkey]

Hey Bino, my gf has been put into a relationship with 2 kids. She wants her own so bad and I jus don't see the connection between her and my kids like the connection I have with them.

I also worry things will change if we have kids together. Which it obviously will a little. There's its up and downs but they are worth it. I love my boys.

The chances that your GF will want kids will escalate over time. At 22, my GF (future wife) didn't think she'd want children. She turns 27 this month and we have #2 and #3 on the way. She's and incredible mom by any measure -- I've been very impressed.

And there's plenty of good news. Your GF can learn the basics by working with your kids and watching you, so she'll have a head start on dealing with her own. Between you already knowing the ropes and her getting a glimpse of the future, a second round of children often goes much more smoothly than the first.

 

[smurf2]

bro you really don't know me, i've done a pretty good job with my first young kid experience...it just can be frustrating.
the kid is agreeable and mostly easy to work with, i was just pissy and frustrated last night.
his dad has made my life extremely difficult lately (hired PI trailing me, a few calls to my employer allegeing illegal activity, and other things i can't do a thing about) so i am buckling a bit under the weight of all this shit.
i'm a good guy though, and a pretty goood step wtf ever considering what i am working with.

Totally. Its not an easy dynamic for anyone involved for sure. Having realistic expectations helps.