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kids are annoying and pointless thread
- Thread starter binö
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jnevin
New member
This.
And it doesn't sound like you and the mom have a very open line of communication when it comes to jr. If you're serious about them/ her, you guys need a plan.
canadianhitman
Well-known member
Do yourself a favor...bail now. Not worth the headache...not even close. You aren't a big fan of kids to being with...and you think you're ever gonna be happy dealing with a bratty one that isn't even yours, with a baby daddy in the picture causing you additional stress? Plus the sex life sliding this early is a pretty solid red flag that this isn't a very good deal for you. Pull the chute.
it is possible you like the kid even less because you resent him for causing a strain in the relationship, you obviously dont love the kid and that's ok, it's not yours there is no bond, but with time it can form, you just gotta be patient.
THIS ^^^ kinda pisses me off when people judge me for not wanting kids, some of us just dont feel the need to have kids...
People judge you for not wanting kids? Keep those people far away.
Personally I think kiddos are a pleasure. There are times when it gets annoying but even the newborn stage was easy. I don't see the big deal why everyone says it is so HARD. It is a strain on a relationship when one person does not want a family. You're forced into a role you don't want, but otherwise (and I say this with just one) kids are cake. Pregnancy was harder. Lol.
mrplunkey
New member
Exactly how old is the kid?
Usually around 3-4 y/o, you can start doing things with the kid which will build your connection. You probably weren't with the mom during the birth and early bonding part, so there may (almost certainly) be a gap in the process of attachment to the kid.
Unless the relationship is already in steep decline, investing in a few activities may be a good idea.
Usually around 3-4 y/o, you can start doing things with the kid which will build your connection. You probably weren't with the mom during the birth and early bonding part, so there may (almost certainly) be a gap in the process of attachment to the kid.
Unless the relationship is already in steep decline, investing in a few activities may be a good idea.
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EarthRider
Guest
this
i love having kids and would never change that.
bino you just don't sound cut out for it, and it sounds like you are going to be a shitty ass step dad anyway. you should get out now bro, and i'm not trying to be a dick. if you're not happy now, nothing a ring will change. kids are needy, they need you to help them and guide them.
if mom doesn't do some things right, well she may not kinow any better. read some parenting books or something.
also, if she starts seeing you be a dickhead to her kids, that will start another strain in the relationship.
Sorry bro, I am sure it's hard being in your shoes. Not all guys are cut out for it. I have a friend who is in your shoes and he is being a stress relieve for mom and helping the situation though.
mistaballoonhands
Banned
What Girthslinger is trying to tell you is you're too big of a poosie to handle children.
I'm not sure I agree, but I wanted to save u some time from reading that.
I'm not sure I agree, but I wanted to save u some time from reading that.
Everyone is a shitty parent in some way. All of us make mistakes and are selfish at times. It has got to be hard when it is not your kid. I can't even imagine how hard it would be when you don't have that love there. If you really want to make it you just have to keep giving. That dynamic you're seeing is a natural dynamic of a family. The mom wants to baby him, the father steps in and helps the kiddo learn how to trust and do things on his own (from someone that is not mom, your role is important). By someone that is "not" mom and more importantly a different gender, that relationship helps him learn how to trust others (outside of mom) and himself. There are a lot of kids that never get to learn that lesson. If you teach him that from a place of love and compassion (and most importantly integrity) he'll learn that stuff. It takes time. If the kid sees that you are cold, and stern he will see you as a hypocrite and a fraud and later see the everything as a fraud. Kids just know what love is and what it is not, bino. I can not stress how important the "not mom" role is on a kiddo. If you're a fraud, he can see it better than any adult ever could. If you don't interact with him with compassion and integrity from your heart, just forget it. It's too important to take lightly.
This is just how a family with children works. Let your gf know that it's natural for you to want to not "baby" him.
This is just how a family with children works. Let your gf know that it's natural for you to want to not "baby" him.
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