Will you ever stop using love as an excuse??

[KillahBee]

Is there ever an age that we reach where it is just unacceptable to use love/feelings as an excuse? Will there ever come a point where the world doesn't let out a collective "awwwww!" when a woman gives a good old cliched speech about falling for the wrong guy and how he destroyed her soul and scarred her for life? Will the world ever stand up and say, "Hey, that's a sad story, but maybe you should have exercised some control over yourself, since we are human beings and have that ability." It's a nice little fairy tale to tell and a great way to get out of having to stand up and take responsibility for your own actions like an adult. And I don't necessarily blame you, as our entire society lets this happen. But there must be some point where we expect adults to act like adults, even in the game of love, no? I sure as hell haven't seen it yet.

 

[*MissFit*]

What's love got to do with it.. most of us are just confused

 

[KillahBee]

What's love got to do with it.. most of us are just confused

love/emotions/feelings - it's all the same. it's got everything to do with it.

 

[ohashi]

"I hit you because I love you, baby."

 

[mountain muscle]

When was love ever an excuse?

 

[velvett]

Yes, it was somewhere between 31 and 35.
YMMV

 

[ChefWide]

It's never been an excuse, but it remains the most compelling REASON in the whole of the human experience. If it aint, you truely have my sympathies....

 

[KillahBee]

When was love ever an excuse?

constantly. when is it not? I hear it every single day in various ways.

 

[mountain muscle]

constantly. when is it not? I hear it every single day in various ways.

-
AS an EXCUSE? That is sad bro.

 

[KillahBee]

It's never been an excuse, but it remains the most compelling REASON in the whole of the human experience. If it aint, you truely have my sympathies....

I refuse to buy that, my friend. And I don't need your sympathies, but I'll take em anyway.

 

[Sassy69]

When does a reason become an excuse?

 

[velvett]

I don't think ya'll are getting what Killah's saying.

Hmm

Let's see.

I can't function like a normal human being because this guy I thought I liked was flirting and trying to fuck all of my friends. Oh Woe is me.

or

I can't function like a normal human being because I work 16 hours a day and my wife betrayed me by having an affair with the lanscaper. Oh Woe is me.

My life sucks because so an so screwed my heart over.

I'm gonna to make you feel back because you don't love me the most.












I MEAN REALLY.

 

[ChefWide]

I refuse to buy that, my friend. And I don't need your sympathies, but I'll take em anyway.

YOU make the choice to give in, give up, or take the fucking bull by the horns and make the search worth while. Any of the above is viable depending on where you are at, at this moment...

so... you dont buy it? ok. I hope that one day you will. Hows them apples, Killah?

 

[KillahBee]

YOU make the choice to give in, give up, or take the fucking bull by the horns and make the search worth while. Any of the above is viable depending on where you are at, at this moment...

so... you dont buy it? ok. I hope that one day you will. Hows them apples, Killah?

as long as I am happy, thems apples will taste just fine.

 

[ChefWide]

I don't think ya'll are getting what Killah's saying.

Hmm

Let's see.

I can't function like a normal human being because this guy I thought I liked was flirting and trying to fuck all of my friends. Oh Woe is me.

or

I can't function like a normal human being because I work 16 hours a day and my wife betrayed me by having an affair with the lanscaper. Oh Woe is me.

My life sucks because so an so screwed my heart over.

I'm gonna to make you feel back because you don't love me the most.












I MEAN REALLY.

Oh.. i get it. Sorry kilah, i was looking at this entirely the wrong way.

 

[Sassy69]

Love is the line of constant battle between emotion & logic because where it goes is 50% dependent on how you feel and 50% dependent upon how the other person feels -- or let me rephrase that 25% dependent on how the other person feels and 25% dependent on how you perceive the other person feels.

And then there is the "leap of faith" factor.

If it feels like its a good, productive thing, then you may feel that it is actually a logical decision to make that leap of faith to move across the country for someone, move in w/ them, whatever. If you don't, it may be that you will never know how that chance would've turned out. The leap of faith may be emotion-driven, but logic should tell you to at least have a Plan B if Plan A doesn't pan out like you thought. That's your "mitigation" for the 50% dependence on the other person.

If you take a shot at somethign and it doesn't work out, the emotion of it all can really slam you to the ground for a while, but, if your options are to curl up & die or to go on living, logic says you need to give yourself a reasonable (not UNreasonable) period of time to heal the emotions but then start enacting Plan B to get back on track.

There again comes the leap of faith when you realize that yes, you can live w/o that person or situation that you think would've made everything perfect. And on you go to bigger & better adventures.

The biggest choice you make as part of Plan B is to STOP letting the person of Plan A destroy your attitude about life & living, because that miasma of hate / confusion / sadness / jealousy / distrust / whatever just permeates the air around you and everyone else knows it. That pretty much kills your chances for moving on to a better life.

Its your choice to make a situation constructive or destructive.

So I guess, the age when you are mature enough to do the above, then you have arrived.

Its easy in theory (see above, written in a few minutes on a web browser), but in execution its a little more complicated. I try to follow the above, but sometimes it just doesn't work that way initially. Eventually tho.

 

[mountain muscle]

When does a reason become an excuse?

A reason you look for, a real excse happens.

Fake emotions you portray to get some, real emotions make you wish you didn't have to let her go in the morning.

When you walk down the sreeet, see a gorgeous woman that smells like her, and the scent makes you think of just her.

Hearing her breath when she is not there.

Feeling her lips, tasting her skin the next day.

Want me to go on?

 

[KillahBee]

Oh.. i get it. Sorry kilah, i was looking at this entirely the wrong way.

not a problem bor. Velveeeeeeta is pretty dead on. I am not damning love, or even the whole fantasy world associated with it, I am talking about people that use love as an excuse. They make poor, poor decisions based on "love" (or "feelings"), they let "love" completely change their lives, and then when it all goes wrong, they blame love or create this fairytale story to make their poor choices seem "alright". If these people approached any other aspect of life in this manner (finance, work, etc.) they would be laughed at. I guess my whole point is that there needs to be a balance between feelings and logic when it comes to the decision making process with relationships. At least that's how I am, which isn't exactly what women want to hear, but I will never let my heart write a check my brain can't cash.

 

[Smurfy]

this thread is just too much.

 

[saint808]

the important thing is that no one is bitter.

 

[KillahBee]

this thread is just too much.

I wasn't talking about you, muffin. I still love you.

 

[Smurfy]

I wasn't talking about you, muffin. I still love you.

LOL you make my day.

No, I was just saying that this kind of discussion is so overdone all the time. Its almost like Im sick of hearing about this crap. Relationships. Love. Dynamics between men and women. WTF. In 200 years they will be posting the same threads. And there still wont be any concrete answers.

So, let's talk about somethin' else.

 

[KillahBee]

LOL you make my day.

No, I was just saying that this kind of discussion is so overdone all the time. Its almost like Im sick of hearing about this crap. Relationships. Love. Dynamics between men and women. WTF. In 200 years they will be posting the same threads. And there still wont be any concrete answers.

So, let's talk about somethin' else.

fine. we're broken up. and I faked it.

 

[ChefWide]

not a problem bor. Velveeeeeeta is pretty dead on. I am not damning love, or even the whole fantasy world associated with it, I am talking about people that use love as an excuse. They make poor, poor decisions based on "love" (or "feelings"), they let "love" completely change their lives, and then when it all goes wrong, they blame love or create this fairytale story to make their poor choices seem "alright". If these people approached any other aspect of life in this manner (finance, work, etc.) they would be laughed at. I guess my whole point is that there needs to be a balance between feelings and logic when it comes to the decision making process with relationships. At least that's how I am, which isn't exactly what women want to hear, but I will never let my heart write a check my brain can't cash.

you had me at 'not a problem'.

 

[Smurfy]

fine. we're broken up. and I faked it.

That's fine. As long as we can still have sex.

 

[jackangel]

i don't like the term 'excuse' that much, but 'legal defense' has a nice sound to it.

 

[mountain muscle]

I don't think ya'll are getting what Killah's saying.

Hmm

Let's see.

I can't function like a normal human being because this guy I thought I liked was flirting and trying to fuck all of my friends. Oh Woe is me.

or

I can't function like a normal human being because I work 16 hours a day and my wife betrayed me by having an affair with the lanscaper. Oh Woe is me.

My life sucks because so an so screwed my heart over.

I'm gonna to make you feel back because you don't love me the most.












I MEAN REALLY.

I certainly hope KB isn't saying that.

AND I MEAN REALLY.

 

[mountain muscle]

I don't think ya'll are getting what Killah's saying.

Hmm

Let's see.

I can't function like a normal human being because this guy I thought I liked was flirting and trying to fuck all of my friends. Oh Woe is me.

or

I can't function like a normal human being because I work 16 hours a day and my wife betrayed me by having an affair with the lanscaper. Oh Woe is me.

My life sucks because so an so screwed my heart over.

I'm gonna to make you feel back because you don't love me the most.


I MEAN REALLY.

First one is about lust, Second is about betrayal.
Neither have to do with love just lack of.

V...you didn't let some man mess with you did you?

If so name and addy please.


KB have a drink on me, or one of the beer girls, better yet.

 

[Ulcasterdropout]

Love, WTF is that?