Urinals are…

[WODIN]

Simply boring! Plane, white, nothing to do while you are relieving your bladder. Urinals are dull, boring and unimaginative. If you have a bladder like mine that holds back more water than the Hoover Damn then you are going to be spending a couple of minutes emptying that sucker several times a day. I spend probably a good half-hour a day doing nothing but peeing.

Therefore I have a lot of time in which to think about stuff. Today I thought wouldn’t it be neat if urinals had some kind of game associated with them. Like one where you can hit little ducks as they go by and get points, or one where you raise a little ball up a tube and get prize x associated with distance y.

You could even have them rigged to give out cash prizes based on performance levels against some form of normalized pee chart that measures, frequency, volume, dispersion patterns. The applications are really endless and wide open…..so to speak.

 

[Rex]

Ever go to Franklin Field on U Penn campus? There is one big urinal in the bathroom that water is constantly flowing down. Just like pissing on a wall.

 

[HappyScrappy]

the urinal in our bathroom is currently in permaflush mode.
it was nice pissing in there, it was like standing next to a running brook, or perhaps a sewage treatment plant.
calming.

 

[beastboy]

I would love to have one that didn't allow piss to spalsh all over you!

 

[Nathan]

In front of my favorite urinal there's an add of a half-naked woman wearing some brand of shoes or another. At first I thought it'd make urination a far more enjoyable procedue, however, I was reminded that it is especially hard to urinate while sporting wood. It's also hard to hide it when your wang is in plain view and, it ends up, getting repeated erections in the men's washroom is not looked upon kindly.

 

[HappyScrappy]

I would love to have one that didn't allow piss to spalsh all over you!

sounds like you might be doing something wrong.

 

[beastboy]

sounds like you might be doing something wrong.

Enlighten me!

 

[HappyScrappy]

Enlighten me!

urinals are the white things on the wall that are slightly concave. sometimes they have minty cakes at the bottom of them.

sounds like maybe you are hitting the wall, or the mirror - both are common mistakes.

also be sure to unzip/unbutton your trousers prior to unleashing the flow from within.

the more you aim towards the curved parts, the less it will splash out at you - hence why the wall/mirror strategy is a poor one at best.

also, be sure that someone next to you isn't pissing on you.

 

[beastboy]

also, be sure that someone next to you isn't pissing on you.

Not funny! this has happened to me!

And BTW....wasn't it you that talked about crouching over the sink to do my duty......your a big f-ing help!

 

[Puddles]

It's stuff like this that makes me much happier to be a woman!

 

[beastboy]

It's stuff like this that makes me much happier to be a woman!

I've seen a women's bathroom...not pretty...some women are completer pigs!

 

[HappyScrappy]

if I ever get a female dog, I'm gonna name her Mrs. Puddles.
especially if she pisses all over the place. like I do.

and yeah bestboy, I've pissed in the sink a few times.
rarely in resteraunts though.
they have very little splashback - especially if you aim for the drain.
or the guy next to you.

 

[WODIN]

Stand back about 4 feet and let it rip beast boy...that way you won't be in the direct blow back area. Works for me. Then you waddle up to the urinal as your stream goes down.

 

[HappyScrappy]

also, there is the Kingpin approach where you pull your pants down and sit in the urinal backwards.
this also allows you to make poopsy if you like as well.
not that the other way is stopping you.

 

[beastboy]

Stand back about 4 feet and let it rip beast boy...that way you won't be in the direct blow back area. Works for me. Then you waddle up to the urinal as your stream goes down.

Too muck physics involved.....I end up pissing on the walls. then I don't waddle quick enough so I piss on my shoes too.

 

[Warik]

Why not just use the toilet so your exposed penis is not in the midst of other exposed penii. I've never understood the logic of urinals.

-Warik

 

[Bullit]

... sometimes they have minty cakes at the bottom of them.

I always wondered what those things taste like. Damn you musta been hungry.

 

[HappyScrappy]

1) one never needs to be hungry in order to enjoy a minty treat.

2) Warik's comment on logic is amusing in light of his response.

personally, I feel that is the best part of the urinal experience - all of the other dudes' wangs just smacking up against your own.
I don't know if I've ever used a urinal and not had some direct contact with more cock. that is just part of the design I guess.

maybe that is beatboy's prob, he needs to do more rubbing against those around him since they are so out in the open and all.

 

[Bodhidogma]

Why not just use the toilet so your exposed penis is not in the midst of other exposed penii. I've never understood the logic of urinals.

-Warik

hahaha - penii.