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Things you only do when your drunk…
Ask for extra-hot chilli sauce on your kebab
Try and get off with your best mate's girlfriend
Piss in your girlfriend's cupboard/out the window/anywhere except in the bathroom.
Give a running commentary, out loud, on anything you do, even though you're alone (eg. ah'm gonna go into the kitschen, ah'm gonna get myshelf A beer, an' ah'm gonna drink it... thatsh whad am'm gonna do...etc.)
Get a tattoo/try to tattoo yourself
Use classy chat-up lines like: "You've got phemoninal...phemonim.....Great tits. Can I shag you?"
Fall down open manholes
Chuck up in the back of taxis
Climb onto the roof of bus shelters - to get a better view of the stars, Man
Pull a moonie
Think it's really funny to put all your female flatmate's underwear In the freezer compartment
Make "punch" out of half a bottle of vodka, a bottle of red wine, and Some Strongbow then Drink it
Get thrown out of a nightclub for taking all your clothes off
Sing "Beers, beers, we want more beers, all the lads are cheerin', Get the fookin' beers in. Beers beers we want more beers" etc. To your Girlfriend's parents.
Dance as if you are John Travolta in Saturday Night Fever. And bump into things. And break them. And not give a flying f*** about it.
Make yourself a delicious snack of English mustard on stale white bread
Decide that the waste bin would look better on your head
Fall asleep on the stairs, with your trousers around your ankles
Decide to walk home, even though it's seven miles away
Fall asleep in a bus shelter
Fall asleep on the night bus and wake up at dawn, in the middle of nowhere, having had your shoes nicked
Fall asleep with a pint glass full of water on your chest, and only spill it when you wake up in the
morning
Steal bottles of milk from doorsteps
Order the hottest curry on the menu
Ring up every woman in your address book at 2am and say, "Hi, I was just thinking about you. Maybe we should meet up. Now-ish..."
Attempt to shag any woman who shows a passing interest in you
Get into a fight with a taxi driver
Say, "You're my best mate, you are", to people you've just met
Decide that you and your ex-girlfriend really should be together
Join the French Foreign Legion
Make a bonfire of photos of your ex-girlfriend
Get really emotional, put on the most morose record in your collection and weep about nothing in particular
Dig out you photo albums, get even more emotional, ring up old friends who've moved abroad and
tell them they're your best mate ever.
Attempt to phone the Pope, the Queen, the Whitehouse, etc
Make lots of inadvisable bets
Ask for extra-hot chilli sauce on your kebab
Try and get off with your best mate's girlfriend
Piss in your girlfriend's cupboard/out the window/anywhere except in the bathroom.
Give a running commentary, out loud, on anything you do, even though you're alone (eg. ah'm gonna go into the kitschen, ah'm gonna get myshelf A beer, an' ah'm gonna drink it... thatsh whad am'm gonna do...etc.)
Get a tattoo/try to tattoo yourself
Use classy chat-up lines like: "You've got phemoninal...phemonim.....Great tits. Can I shag you?"
Fall down open manholes
Chuck up in the back of taxis
Climb onto the roof of bus shelters - to get a better view of the stars, Man
Pull a moonie
Think it's really funny to put all your female flatmate's underwear In the freezer compartment
Make "punch" out of half a bottle of vodka, a bottle of red wine, and Some Strongbow then Drink it
Get thrown out of a nightclub for taking all your clothes off
Sing "Beers, beers, we want more beers, all the lads are cheerin', Get the fookin' beers in. Beers beers we want more beers" etc. To your Girlfriend's parents.
Dance as if you are John Travolta in Saturday Night Fever. And bump into things. And break them. And not give a flying f*** about it.
Make yourself a delicious snack of English mustard on stale white bread
Decide that the waste bin would look better on your head
Fall asleep on the stairs, with your trousers around your ankles
Decide to walk home, even though it's seven miles away
Fall asleep in a bus shelter
Fall asleep on the night bus and wake up at dawn, in the middle of nowhere, having had your shoes nicked
Fall asleep with a pint glass full of water on your chest, and only spill it when you wake up in the
morning
Steal bottles of milk from doorsteps
Order the hottest curry on the menu
Ring up every woman in your address book at 2am and say, "Hi, I was just thinking about you. Maybe we should meet up. Now-ish..."
Attempt to shag any woman who shows a passing interest in you
Get into a fight with a taxi driver
Say, "You're my best mate, you are", to people you've just met
Decide that you and your ex-girlfriend really should be together
Join the French Foreign Legion
Make a bonfire of photos of your ex-girlfriend
Get really emotional, put on the most morose record in your collection and weep about nothing in particular
Dig out you photo albums, get even more emotional, ring up old friends who've moved abroad and
tell them they're your best mate ever.
Attempt to phone the Pope, the Queen, the Whitehouse, etc
Make lots of inadvisable bets
