The Shit Hits the Fan....

[NY Muscle]

Machine... I put most of the blame on his wife. But at the same time, this isn't the first time she'd lied to him about me, the last time being things I said, that he found out wasn't true. I'm mad at him, because even though their relationship sucks, and he knows she's used me against him before, he just takes her word for it, then goes and destroys my relationship with it. That's why I'm mad at him. Now him and my lady relate to eachother, and keep the negative thoughts alive with eachother. When I talk to either of them, they immediately call the other person, and tell them what I said, and then they go over reasons not to believe it. That's why I can't talk to him until they stop talking. It's doing nothing but giving them things to talk about. Talking to her will end up stopping. She can't stand him. She's just using him as a negativity crutch right now.

Millhouse and NY Muscle.... I know what you are saying. It's the hardest thing to do. It is. Trying to let them go. I'm trying to make myself accept the fact, but right now it just isn't working. I can let my friend go, and survive. It's my lady. Right now, I can't seem to live without her. I don't want to chase her too much, but I don't want to be totally out of her life, because the more I am, the easier she can forget, and the easier it is for her to just talk to my friend, and say and hear bad things about me.

I'm just trying to throw in my side of the story.

I'm trying not to tell her I love her, and miss her.

But it comes out on occassion. It's nearly impossible to keep it in. I am working on it... but I won't say thus far I've been successful.

I really miss her. I'm not used to sleeping alone. I'm not used to being in the house without my kids. It's a complete lifestyle change... all because my friend didn't confront me on it first.

That's why I'm angry with him. He just believed her.

But hey... kids believe in Santa... because they are told he is real. They see pictures of him, and sit on his lap in the mall.

But one day, they find out for themselves that is was all a hoax.

That WILL happen with my lady.

I just hope it's not too late for us when it does.

ok this may not be the best thing to say but if it seems as if all hope is lost and she wont come back...... the thing that gets you over one girl is the NEXT girl.......hey reboubnd fucks are the best remedy better than prozac, we all know they work...its the only thing that will make you feel less stressed (sorry ladies on here but it is true)

 

[TEXgrl]

i'm not so sure your friend actually believes everything in his heart, but when you are in a bad relationship like he is, and you want it to work, you will believe anything. if he believes you, then that would make her a liar, and then where would he be? he'd have to make a decision about his life with her that he obviously isn't ready to make. i've been there. you want to believe what this person is saying so badly because you don't want to lose them that you will believe some absolutely ridiculous things. i've let myself believe the opposite of what i've seen with my own eyes, just because i wanted to be with that person. did i finally wake up? yes i did, but it took awhile.

 

[Big Brother Val]

NY Muscle... I don't know if I can do the rebound sex bit. I have been with a girlfriend... only being single for maybe a year total betwen girlfriends, in the past 10 years. This one I thought would go the distance. We've been through hell and back. I wouldn't even know how to go about picking up on a lady right now. I have no real confidence. I forgot how it works.

TEXgrl... thank you for chiming in again. A lady's opinion right now really helps as well. And I think you hit the nail right on the head. He takes it out on me, because he figures our relationship could survive. If he realizes she is lieing, the thought of the context of the lie must be devastating.

But I'm not going to be the scapegoat again. I'm just not going to do it.

I've lost my best friend, and the love of my life at the same time.

This is more difficult that I could have ever imagined it being.

I told her today, I won't discuss the subject, until she's at least willing to be a little open to what I say. Right now, she just tells me I'm a "sick fuckin' liar", and that she knows I did it.

Time will tell.... time will heal... but the real beatings have yet to come. And that's what has me worried.

 

[Lumberg]

I'm with you Big Brother Val.

Yes I know it's frustrating, the worst is when you know the truth but liars have more influence over the person you love than you yourself do.

The Machine gives good advice. I agree that you have to tape record a conversation. Get your hands on any type of recording device, go to a friend's house if you have to, get that bitch on tape copping to the lie.

The phone records bit I don't think is the best defence--you could be setting up a date in a motel on that call for all your girl thinks. Moot point anyway I guess.

You mentioned buying some shirts that you think she'd like you in. How 'bout buying some shirts that YOU'D like you in? Go for it, dude, buy what you want. Don't let her rule your thoughts.

You seem like a nice guy. I would want you for a friend. But you're playing against ruthless people and you have to be ruthless too. One suggestion is to lay back and wait for your buddy and his whore to make a mistake. Next time you talk to your girl try asking her about some of the things the bad people have said. At the least you'll know what you're up against. Try to find mistakes in their lies. Pick away at their reliability and character.

Go for it brother, it's going to be an uphill battle, but once you win it'll just be another ordeal that you survived and made you stronger.

Good luck and keep us updated,

JC

 

[Big Brother Val]

Re: I'm with you Big Brother Val.

Yes I know it's frustrating, the worst is when you know the truth but liars have more influence over the person you love than you yourself do.

The Machine gives good advice. I agree that you have to tape record a conversation. Get your hands on any type of recording device, go to a friend's house if you have to, get that bitch on tape copping to the lie.

The phone records bit I don't think is the best defence--you could be setting up a date in a motel on that call for all your girl thinks. Moot point anyway I guess.

You mentioned buying some shirts that you think she'd like you in. How 'bout buying some shirts that YOU'D like you in? Go for it, dude, buy what you want. Don't let her rule your thoughts.

You seem like a nice guy. I would want you for a friend. But you're playing against ruthless people and you have to be ruthless too. One suggestion is to lay back and wait for your buddy and his whore to make a mistake. Next time you talk to your girl try asking her about some of the things the bad people have said. At the least you'll know what you're up against. Try to find mistakes in their lies. Pick away at their reliability and character.

Go for it brother, it's going to be an uphill battle, but once you win it'll just be another ordeal that you survived and made you stronger.

Good luck and keep us updated,

JC

I'm up against a lot of facts. I posted them above somewhere. She knew what song was on the radio, what I was wearing, where we were parked when she blew me.

Now keep in mind that I was driving... so the car thing is believable... I was listening to a certain song, but I did tell her what that was... and I have about 10 different gray shirts I wear, one almost every day. She said I had on a gray shirt... now to them, it proves everything. But at the same time, those facts are easily dismissed.

I'm up against a whole lot of crap... but mostly a severe lack of trust from my lady.

I love her.

I hope that will be enough to get us through... if not... I have no choice but to move on.

It's definately an uphill battle... and right now it seems impossible to win.

Thank you for taking the time to write on this. It's definately appreciated.

 

[SkullFuct]

Val, I dont post here much but I know that you are very nice guy. It made me feel bad that this girl of yours believes someone else over you. As much as it hurts now you know what she is made of-truly, and its not ever close to what you are.
I have the feeling that time will clear this up.

 

[SkullFuct]

Thank you.

I don't know... I try to put myself in her shoes... and I can't imagine just saying it was over, without talking to her about it first.

I love her. She knows that. She even said yesterday that she knew it... but then she threw her defenses back up and said she wanted nothing to do with me... and loving eachother wasn't enough, because all I want is sex, and that I'd get it where I could, with anyone I could.

I know that the beginning of this whole thing is the hardest. Right now, it doesn't seem like this situation is surviveable. It seems like I'm so hollow inside... I don't know how the hell I came in to work today, and I have a wrestling show tomorrow... who knows how that will go, as my tag team partner is my best friend... who now wants nothing to do with me.

Thanks again for taking the time to hear me rant.

I feel like I'm caving in... it seems like it's been a month since all this happened... and it's not quite the 24 hour mark.

Val, Now you know what its like to see when people say "I'll always stick by you..." and "I've got your back..."
only to look over your shoulder and have them be gone.

 

[Big Brother Val]

Skullfuct... yeah... I keep looking over my shoulder to see if one of them has come back around... but they haven't.

They're busy keeping eachother company... and trashing me to eachother. I think that's the part of this that hurts the worst.

Every morning for the past 3 days, I wake up in the morning, hoping she'll by lying next to me, and this will all have been a really shitty dream.

I'm trying now just to deal with it... not call her or talk to her at all... or my friend... I emailed him and told him if he wants to talk like a man, even throw punches like a man, he knows where to find me... but that I was done with him until he stopped talking to my lady.

I'm not interested in defending myself. It'd be like defending the fact that the sky is blue. It's just truth. I just want it resolved. I just don't think that's going to happen.

Yesterday, she called me from work, right in front of this bitch at her work that I've never been able to stand, and starts tearing me down... I could hear the girl in the background laughing, and saying "ooooooohhhhh" while she was tearing me down, telling me how sick I made her and such.

I just said "I love you." and hung up on her. Then didn't answer when she called back.

That's the hard part... trying to pretend she doesn't exist.

Thanks for taking the time to write.

 

[RADAR]

WOW!! BB VAl i'm just now reading this- talk about being dug into a hole!!!!I had friends like that once- if you can ever resolve this the best thing that can happen in the future is to distance,yes DISTANCE yourself from those friends!! THEY ARE NOT YOUR FRIENDS!!! PEROID!!! Also NY Muscle beat me to it-but i would copy this thread -edit it and have someone you trust to give it to her to read(Maybe it could help). Obiously her calling you from work it sounds like her other friend is also feeding the fire, so just tell her you will talk when she is ready to listen and hang up-you do not need to keep listening to her shit! I know how this hurts and how you really care for her from our previous talks so all i can say i hope this mess turns out for the better for you, and maybe the phone records will help in your situtation. You have all of us pulling for you here at Elite.(Crossing my fingers) Good Luck my friend!........ RADAR

 

[Big Brother Val]

WOW!! BB VAl i'm just now reading this- talk about being dug into a hole!!!!I had friends like that once- if you can ever resolve this the best thing that can happen in the future is to distance,yes DISTANCE yourself from those friends!! THEY ARE NOT YOUR FRIENDS!!! PEROID!!! Also NY Muscle beat me to it-but i would copy this thread -edit it and have someone you trust to give it to her to read(Maybe it could help). Obiously her calling you from work it sounds like her other friend is also feeding the fire, so just tell her you will talk when she is ready to listen and hang up-you do not need to keep listening to her shit! I know how this hurts and how you really care for her from our previous talks so all i can say i hope this mess turns out for the better for you, and maybe the phone records will help in your situtation. You have all of us pulling for you here at Elite.(Crossing my fingers) Good Luck my friend!........ RADAR

Thank you, my friend. I'll tell you... distancing myself is the hardest thing to do right now. I just want everyone to act like this never happened, and we all just never bring it up again, and continue on... but I know that's impossible. It's hard not to drive by our home... I guess I should say "HER" home... and see if she's there, and ask her to talk.

Last night I had a wrestling show... I wanted her to be there. I found myself in mid match, scanning the faces in the crowd for her.

I couldn't believe it. I still put on a good show... but my mind was only half there.

It's been 3 days now. Seems more like 3 months. I can't believe how slow time is going by.

Thanks again for writing. This board is literally the only place I have to vent... and to my x wife, because me and her are like best friends... but I still feel odd talking to her about my lady now, because I know my x wife still loves me... so I don't want to hurt her feelings by talking about it.