The Shit Hits the Fan....

[Big Brother Val]

print out this thread bro, give it to her. cant hurt.

Truth... I'm going to do that. I know she'll say that you guys are on my side, because I didn't tell you the truth about getting blown by my best friend's wife.

I just don't know how much is too much, you know? Do I keep pestering her, hoping she will come around and let her love for me, and her belief in me overcome the bullshit that my friend's whore of a wife has told her?

 

[Big Brother Val]

private detective ? dunno how he could really help you but never know.....

At this point I'm looking at all options... I wish it wouldn't take printed phone records for her to believe me.

She should give me the benefit of the doubt.

Isn't that what you do in a relationship?

I told her what she'd say if someone told me she had blown someone else... and she says "No one would ever say that, because it wouldn't happen, and you know it wouldn't happen"... I said... "You're right. But you should know I wouldn't do that either."

And she said "But no one would even SAY it... ****** is SAYING it happened... why would she lie about it?"

I can't answer why the bitch said she blew me... it doesn't make her look good, and her relationship is better now because of it.

This whole damn thing doesn't make any sense.

 

[WODIN]

You should do the detective thing and get the biatch who lied on tape making a confession somehow. Talk to a few agencies, I'm sure they can work a setup on her. Plus people love to confess shit to total strangers. It's human nature.

 

[Big Brother Val]

You should do the detective thing and get the biatch who lied on tape making a confession somehow. Talk to a few agencies, I'm sure they can work a setup on her. Plus people love to confess shit to total strangers. It's human nature.

Hmmmmm..... maybe that would work.

Is it really worth going this far?

I want my lady to BELIEVE ME!

Not because someone else tells her to. But because she loves me, and knows I love her, and KNOWS I would NEVER do that. I wouldn't be unfaithful to her if I had a shotgun pointed at my head.

She should know that.

Now I've got to look up a few places on line... I'll contact a few people and see what they may do to get a confession...

 

[WODIN]

Hmmmmm..... maybe that would work.

Is it really worth going this far?

I want my lady to BELIEVE ME!

Not because someone else tells her to. But because she loves me, and knows I love her, and KNOWS I would NEVER do that. I wouldn't be unfaithful to her if I had a shotgun pointed at my head.

She should know that.

Now I've got to look up a few places on line... I'll contact a few people and see what they may do to get a confession...

I'm thinking it might work val. I understand your feelings but desperate times, require desperate measures.

 

[WormAAA77]

I'm too lazy to read this whole thread right now but I'm sure I will later. From what I've read thus far it seems you have a lady lying to try to ruin your relationship, no?


How about this-

Would it be possible for you to have your wife/gf, whichever, get on the phone while you call the hag and ask her why the hell shes doing this to you, etc. and your gf/wife will be able to hear the truth?

 

[THeMaCHinE]

The game is chase and pursuit my friend. Do not follow her. Generally, what will happen is that as somebody moves farther away, they will be chased after, causing them to retreat further away. She wants her space, give it to her. It's the best thing you can do right now.

By the way, you are handling this awesomely! Staying focused on your kids, not blowing up, etc... You really are doing great.

As far as counseling, tell her that it's not about her wants or your wants, that you two have a child together and that you two are the child's entire world. Tell her that you don't know if you will stay with her (for real), but that you two OWE it to your child to overcome your personal needs and seek counseling together. Stress to her that it will ease the break, should there be a break.

I REALLY, REALLY want you to go out to the bookstore today and pick up LOVE MUST BE TOUGH by James Dobson, it will help you out a lot at this juncture in your situation. It describes to a tee the dynamics at work at this point -- and a concrete, step-by-step game plan of how to handle things... It will also give you a positive thing to do in your off time. Please do this. I will even send you my copy if you want. There are also other books that I think would be immensely helpful, but start with this one. It helped me a lot.

Even though training is in the shitter, you are doing a great job in keeping going. Even if you totally don't feel like it, keep going! This would also be a great time to start taking about 4-6 grams/day of powdered inositol (a natural supplement). It will help with depressive tendencies without the effects of pharm meds. Split it over 3 -4 doses per day; take with grapefruit juice. Buy the powder as the caps will go too fast. You should be able to pick it up for around $30 or less for a month's supply.

 

[Big Brother Val]

Wodin.... you're right. These are desperate times. I just don't want to act desperate. I think I deserve better than her absolutely dropping her faith in me, because some whore said she should. I am going to look into it, though. Who knows... it just might come down to that.

WormAAA77.... that's the jist of it. My friend's wife lied about blowing me, and my lady believes her. So she doesn't want me anymore. Also... I've actually talked to my friend and his wife on the phone at the same time... even when he wasn't on the phone... she kept saying "Don't fucking try to ruin MY relationship. You know what happened, you should be a man and confess, instead of lying about it." Why would she say that to just me? To convince herself more? I don't really know.

Machine... I'll go pick up that book today. Hell... it can't hurt, right? And thanks for the compliments on how I'm handling it. To tell you the truth, I don't know how I haven't blown up, beat the shit out of my friend, and told my lady to kiss my ass if she's going to believe a tramp that is KNOWN to be a compulsive liar over me.

The days go by REALLY SLOW. It seems like this has happened over the past two months. But it's only been 6 days. I think I want stuff to turn around a bit too fast. It's hard to be patient, and it's hard not to chase her. I WANT her to know how I feel... I WANT her to tell me how she feels... and I WANT her to believe me. She has no reason not to.

I'm going to see the counselor anyway... even if she doesn't. It's not my style... but I have to learn how to not chase her... and how to not let it bother me when she retaliates against me.

 

[Lumberg]

You're doing great, Val, you're holding up pretty well considering. I understand that it's hard, and the kid makes the equation infinitely more complex. The Machine has a point. Appeal to your lady's maternal side and tell her that she owes it to her kid to give counseling a chance. You are heading in the right direction, keep probing ways of getting the bitch on tape.

Good luck,

JC

 

[Big Brother Val]

You're doing great, Val, you're holding up pretty well considering. I understand that it's hard, and the kid makes the equation infinitely more complex. The Machine has a point. Appeal to your lady's maternal side and tell her that she owes it to her kid to give counseling a chance. You are heading in the right direction, keep probing ways of getting the bitch on tape.

Good luck,

JC

Thanks. Maybe I will take that approach. I just don't know if it's too early or not... or if it's better to do it early, so it doesn't get even more out of hand.

This is a new situation for me... and I don't really know how I'm getting by. I just am.