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The Shit Hits the Fan....

Big Brother Val said:
Thank you so much, everyone.

Machine... I've thought about that. Recording her. But I don't know how. I only have a cell phone, not a home phone, and I wouldn't even know where to look. Your idea on the court thing is a good idea also. My friend actually posted on a website about the whole thing, which is that whole slander/defamation of character bit. With that, I could sue. I'm just not that kind of person. I really thank you for your encouragement. Too bad you don't have an office here in Utah... I think you'd make a good counselor, and someone I would trust.

Thanks for your words, they really mean a lot.

As for the device, let me see if I can find anything, as for suing -- you can sue for any reason, with or without evidence (of course, this doesn't correlate to winning the suit, but that's not important). Precisely because it's not in your character is why it may be taken so seriously.
 
http://www.selfdefence.com/index.cgi?ID=goto

phonerecorder.jpg


10 Hour Telephone/Room Recorder
------------------------------------------------------------------------
item# PR10 price: $184.95

Status of Availability: Special Order Item
Usually Ships In 3-5 Business Days

We've taken a Sony TMC-1345 standard Cassette Recorder and modified it into a 10-hour Telephone Recorder! Unit looks like and is the same size as a Sony Walkman. No one will suspect that this recorder is capable of tapping a phone line!
To operate as a telephone recorder, simply insert the telephone recorder mini-plug (included) into the recorder (plugs into the unit the same way you would plug in a pair of headphones), and then plug the other end of the mini-plug into your telephone jack. Once connected to a phone line, the unit will record all conversations from any phone connected to the same line (Example: If you have three telephones in your home and all are on the same phone line, the recorder will record all conversations from all three phones). Records both sides of the conversation and all extensions on phone line. Earphones may be connected so you can listen in on conversations as they take place. Will not cause any noise on the line even if you turn the device on/off in the middle of a conversation.
To operate as a room recorder, simply turn the unit on (no need to connect it to anything). The recorder will provide ample coverage of an average sized room.
A special switch on unit allows you to choose between recording constantly or to record only when voice/noise is detected, and then the unit will stop recording when voice/noise stops. Can record up to 10 hours of conversation (5 hours on each side of a 90 minute tape). No special tapes are required; the recorder uses any standard cassette tape (not included). AA Battery operated.
 
I'm trying to be as cool and as calm as I can. I told her I would only talk to her about the whole situation when she was ready.

The problem is, she continues to talk to my friend and his wife about the whole thing. My friend really thinks my lady is attractive, and I know he likes the attention he is getting right now.

In any case, I try to be calm... I try to be level-headed. But DAMN is that hard.

I just want to beg and plead... but I know that doesn't look good.

I was going to ask her if she'd go to my wrestling show tomorrow. But I doubt she would. I know if she talks to me, she'll talk to my friend, and he'll tell her not to listen to me. He's like the devil's advocate... he's the one keeping the negative thoughts there... and keeping doubt alive, but I can't convince her to stop talking to him.

I don't know what else to do for now. The minutes seem like days... It really seems like this all happened a month ago... and it's only been 1 day. I know there's a lot that's going to come... and it's going to hurt.

I just want her with me. As weak as that sounds... and as troubled as the relationship is... I truly want her with me. Not because I need her... because I want to be with her.

As far as the device, it wouldn't plug into my cell phone... but maybe I could talk to her from my mothers house...

I'm also getting in touch with a lawyer today about it... I saved what he posted on the website, so I have it down.

But again... it's not my way... but maybe it'll show just how against it I am.

I don't know if it'll make me look more guilty or what...

In any case... thanks again. I feel pretty stupid throwing this all out on the board...
 
BBV,

have you given her any reason in the past to make her think that you are capable of cheating? have you cheated in the past?
 
TEXgrl said:
BBV,

have you given her any reason in the past to make her think that you are capable of cheating? have you cheated in the past?


The closest I've come is talking to my x-wife... I went over to her house a while back, because she was having a hard time. I wasn't truthful with my lady about that.

Now... here's the bitch of my situation...

The night me and my friend's wife supposedly did this, my lady and I had fought. And I went for a drive. (that's nothing new, I do it when we fight to avoid saying things that may hurt eachother). Anyway... my friend's wife called me while I was driving. She was talking about her relationship problems, I was talking about mine.

I've known this gal for 8 years. I figured it was just talk, trying to help eachother. I've been talking to both of them about making their relationship work.

Anyway... here's the problem... she chose the night I talked about above, as the night we did our thing. Why? Because I'm unaccounted for. Just driving? Well... I could have been anywhere, right? And she was out that night (where, I don't know)... so she wasn't home either...

And SLAM!... there it is.

I can't account for myself, as I was on the freeway, about 80 miles from home, with no one to see me, as it was 2:00 in the morning.

The evidence makes it look bad. But the thought that my lady would not even consider listening to me really hurts.
 
Big Brother Val said:



My best friends wife told him that me and her have been sleeping together.


Did you really sleep with her ? If yes then why are you complaining about the shit happening to you ?
 
Remember that no decisions need to be made right now -- give yourself permission to sit it out and ponder for awhile.

I'm sorry it's come to all of this. You will make it though. I believe in you and I know that others do to.

And remember, you can only control your own actions, as is with anybody else. If she chooses to sit and listen to him over you, that is her (bad) decision. You can't control that, and neither can your (ex?) friend -- of course he's not helping, but it sounds like he has a serious character flaw too if he's going through a potential divorce, abuse, etc. and using the opportunity to try to nestle up to your girl. In any case, it doesn't sound like any of them are very good friends to you at this point.

Try asking her if the situation were turned and that he was claiming she was cheating with him, how we she defend it. Ask her exactly what she needs to exonerate you.

It does not sound weak to say you want to be with her. It's just a fact. There's no reason to be ashamed of any of this. Though you may change your mind about wanting to be with her. Is it that you want to be with her, or that you don't want to be alone?

You are doing the right thing in talking it out. That's usually where the best resolutions come from.

Check out a few of the books I talked about, particularly LOVE MUST BE TOUGH by Dobson, and think about switching strategies up a little.

And don't forget, you're the good guy here. And you will not end up alone. There are people out there that CAN and WILL treat you the way you deserve to be treated. You've done nothing wrong here and you are a fantastic father to your children -- use this opportunity to devolop your relationship with them. Go out to a park, Chucky Cheese's, etc... they probably need a little reassurance right now and it's amazing how the simple love of a child can transform things.

I know that I literally owe my life to my daughter.

Stay strong brother.
 
Big Brother Val said:



The closest I've come is talking to my x-wife... I went over to her house a while back, because she was having a hard time. I wasn't truthful with my lady about that.

Now... here's the bitch of my situation...

The night me and my friend's wife supposedly did this, my lady and I had fought. And I went for a drive. (that's nothing new, I do it when we fight to avoid saying things that may hurt eachother). Anyway... my friend's wife called me while I was driving. She was talking about her relationship problems, I was talking about mine.

I've known this gal for 8 years. I figured it was just talk, trying to help eachother. I've been talking to both of them about making their relationship work.

Anyway... here's the problem... she chose the night I talked about above, as the night we did our thing. Why? Because I'm unaccounted for. Just driving? Well... I could have been anywhere, right? And she was out that night (where, I don't know)... so she wasn't home either...

And SLAM!... there it is.

I can't account for myself, as I was on the freeway, about 80 miles from home, with no one to see me, as it was 2:00 in the morning.

The evidence makes it look bad. But the thought that my lady would not even consider listening to me really hurts.

BINGO! there it is!

Cell phone records my brother, date time, number called length of call, etc... it's all there black and white. How can you be screwing her when you're talking on the phone to her? That is it.
 
Big Brother Val why dont u print out this whole thread, replys and all and give it to her let her read it....its a LONG shot but MAYBE it will help.

and find a huge juicehead bitch to BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF your buddies wife.. no JOKE!! not for nothing but that would SERIOUSLY make me re-evaluate my position on NEVER laying my hands on a girl..i personally wouldnt hit her, but man id probably get her to the ground and hog tie her, no joke and yell at her and shit.

i know some big bitches, where u live?
 
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