There is a fat (350+ of blubber) dude in the cubicle next to me, but he eats every hour on the hour. He has his own microwave and small fridge right next to him, when his food is ready it makes a cheerful "ding!". Sometimes its warm food, sometimes its just a bag of doritos, but EVERY HOUR on the hour this guy is stuffing something into his mouth. Ordinarily I wouldn't mind, but I've known COWS that have better table manners than this guy. He smacks his lips, he grunts like he is having hot sex, he eats with his mouth open, he follows gulps of soda with a loud "AHHH!". When he gets up to go somewhere, it sounds like he is deadlifting 1000 lbs he makes so many grunts, then he huffs and puffs his way to wherever he is going, I swear I don't know how he hasn't had a heart attack yet. He's broken no less than 3 office chairs THIS YEAR, last time they bought him a heavy duty chair that seems to be holding up, although it squeaks more than a mouse in a trap.
Nothing against fat people, but this guy should be put out of his misery so mine can end.