Please Scroll Down to See Forums Below 
Protobuilder
New member
Figure some of you idiots could use this. LoL Some of it is useful, some of it is nuts, but all of it is pretty damn funny.
Source: http://powerandbulk.com/phpBB2/viewtopic.php?t=823
The Gospel according to [WildBoarMan] (aka the Don't be a Pussy workout)
WildBoarMan is here!
Listen, for god's sake!!!!!
Turn off this blue text. It is giving me a headache. Are you fuckers color blind?
A question to the monitors...where the hell did you find some of these people? They do no research and they want to be spoon fed a goddamn routine and probably want a personal trainer to hold their hands while they do it.
It's quite simple, listen carefully, fellas.
Don't be a pussy.
Let me explain:
Q: Wah! My legs won't grow! What can I do WildBoarMan?
A: Quit being a pussy and squat. Squat high reps, squat low rep, squat your fucking sister, but squat. If you have energy left over, then do some additional leg work. Like stiff leg deadlifts. Do these progressively heavier, and one day, you too, will be able to hoof a 200lb boar 2 miles through the woods to your car.
Q: Wah! My biceps are too small! What can I do WildBoarMan?
A: Quit being a pussy and do some high rep breathing squats. Just use your bodyweight and puff out 3 breaths between each rep. When you are done, pound your fucking biceps by doing 2 exercise: curl grip pull ups and dumbbell hammer curls. The breathing squats are a proven method to fire up your metabolism, and following those with tough biceps work is the way to get them to grow.
Q: Wah! My lower back hurts! What can I do WildBoarMan?
A: Quit being a pussy!!!! First of stretch your fucking hams, glutes, lower back, and calves. Then do some goddamn lower back work. Let's make it simple for you pussies. Just fucking deadlift, high reps, low reps, I don't care, just do it heavily and progressiveley. Do good mornings, do stiff legs (which, incidentally when done right will stretch your glutes and hams as well)
Q: Wah! I need a routine! What can I do WildBoarMan?
A: Quit being a (all together now) PUSSY! Here is a routine that will make you a fucking man.
Session 1:
a. Standing overhead press: 5x5 a la 2 warmup sets and 3 hard fucking sets of 5.
When you get all 3, move the weight up.
b. Standing curls: Do 5 sets of 5, just like above, supersetted with the presses. Maury did these and he was definitely not a pussy, even though he got plenty.
c. Squats: 1-3 warmups the 1x20. Yes, these are breathing squats done with a weight you can only do 10 with. Trust me, you will be able to do this if you are not a pussy.
d. Stiff leg Dead: 2x15. Yes girls, this does hurt. But keep at it.
e. Ab work: Work it hard, don't be a _____. (fill in the fucking blank, numbnuts!)
Session 2:
a. Deadlifts: 5x5, see the guidelines above
b. Bench press or dips: 5x5, see above\
c. Dumbbell Rows: 3x10-15
d. Chins: 3 sets for maximum reps. I know, too much back work...well, you need this much goddamn back work if you don't want to look like a pussy! Plus, chins help to decompress the spine after heavy lifting a bit.
e. Ab work...as above.
Do one of these programs every 3 days or so. Work it hard, and don't be a big fucking pussy, and maybe you're 175 lb skinny-fat asses will fill out into a nice manly physique.
Hope this helps!
____________________________________________________________
You can call this the New and Improved Don't Be a Pussy Workout.
First off let's say some things about volume. Too much volume too fast is bad. You'll feel like a pussy, and regress like nothing else. But, greater volume isn't bad, it is good. And it has it's place in every routine much like some HIT-like to failure training does.
Volume is a good way to boost work capacity. Add a set a week for 3 weeks, then back it back down, then ramp it back up. Cycling is the way to success. Life is a cycle. Training should be cycled. Unlike some other unnamed idiots believe, periodization was not invented to coorespond with steroid cycles. Volume, when coupled with adequate nutrition, is where most of your cross-sectional muscle increases will occur. For hypertrophy purposes, it's probably best to increase volume on single joint movements.
Volume is also a fine way to boost strength. A technique that is tailor-made for pussies is the power ladder, first popularized by Pavel the Latvian Sell-Out. For increased strength, a ladder could be constructed this way:
1. 275x1/2/3/1/2/3/1/2/3
2. 285x1/2/3/1/2/3
3. 285x1/2/3/1/2/3/1/2/3
4. 295x1/2/3/1/2/3
5. 295x1/2/3/1/2/3/1/2/3
etc.
Train frequently, maybe every other day, and don't even approach the point of failure. If you think you might fail on the next set, stop right there, and return to a single. If you have a bad day, the ladder might look like this:
295x1/2/1/2/1/2/1/1
Don't be a pussy and get all wound up over it. The body's capacities change, from day in the day out. Just don't go near failure, and keep up the ladder 2-3 x weekly, and you'll be amazed when your pussed out 315 lb deadlift is now around 355! Amazing. You just have to be prepared for the Delayed Onset Muscle Soreness that accompanies the initial sessions of higher volume work.
So, let's say you want to get stronger now. Stronger than you've ever been, but without getting crazy with the Westside Barbell stuff. Who the fuck can understand that shit anyway, eh?
This program will be a 4x weekly program. Just for shits and giggles, and to assist the average pussy who will do this routine, let's base it on ladders.
Session 1: Leg Strength
Squat Ladder: I don't care if you use the front squat or the back squat. Start out with an easy ladder of 1/2/3/1/2/3/1/2/3. Add weight when that ladder gets easy.
Step Ups: Strictly for assistance. Use heavy dumbbells. Do 3 sets of 10 the first week, 4 sets of 10 the second week, and 5 sets of 10 the third week.
Ab work: Pick two hard ab exercises, superset them, and do 3-5 supersets at the end of your workout.
Session 2: Overhead Strength
Press Ladder: Once again, I don't really care what press variation you use. I'd suggest standing overhead press. Start out with an easy ladder of 1/2/3/1/2/3/1/2/3. Add weight when that ladder gets easy. On your last set, do as many 4-6" lock outs as you can. I got that directly from Dan John.
Weighted Chin Ladder: Oh yeah, you can't get away from the back work you pussies! A pathetic bastard like myself might start with unweighted ladders. Once again, try for 1/2/3/1/2/3/1/2/3, and add weight when that's pretty easy.
Oblique Work: Choose 1 oblique exercise and do 3-5 sets. Do 'em heavy and quite whining you pussies!
Session 2: Lower Back Strength
-sadly, this is where we separate the men from the boys
Good Morning Ladder: Keep the form strict, start off with something you can handle, and follow the guidelines for the squat.
Zercher Squats from bottom position: We'll keep it simple: Do 5s until it gets too heavy, then do 3s. Don't kill yourself, but make it hard.
-Holy Fuck! This is my least favorite movement, and probably one of the most painful things you can do. Feel free to eliminate this in favor of Glute/Ham Raises done in the methodology I described above for step ups. Even I, a non-pussy would have to evaluate how I felt before doing this!
Ab Work: If you did the Zerchers, you don't need to do ab work. If you didn't, follow the above guidelines.
Session 4: Horizontal Pressing Strength
Bench press variation ladder: Perform as already described. Pick CGBP, BP, Floor press, Board presses, or whatever.
Chin Ladder: at this point in the week, you lower back will be trashed. Do another chin ladder to help yourself stretch out.
Oblique work: As above.
As always, feel free to toss in bicep, calf, and grip work AFTER you have done the rest of the workout. Even some interval style cardio or sled draggin' might be in the picture if you manage to grow a dick.
I would do the above workout for 3 weeks. On the fourth week, reduce the volume to a single trip up the ladder or 1-3 sets of assistance work, then on the fifth week, choose different variations of the main movements, and maybe even change up the assistance. Every fourth week should have a dramatic decrease in volume, to let yourself rebound and supercompensate.
Notice all the execise choices are easy to understand and "low technique". This is so the anti-Olympic lifting whiners can actually consider this program for themselves as well.
Feel free to tinker with this all you want. It is my gift from me, to you, in the immense hope that you will become less of a pussy by following it.
Source: http://powerandbulk.com/phpBB2/viewtopic.php?t=823
