that vials of UG vials of test in aus are $250/$300 upwards!! arghhhh and shipping for everything is expensive!
but on a serious note what is pissing me off.....
fucking self critical seasonal clerkships that are stressing me the fuck out
exams that are stressssssssing me out to the point im about to have nervous breakdown
confused about whether to stay in this turbulent long term relationship that im in..... seems to be good fora few months then a mega disaster happens
im studying, earning fuck all money and have a $13k debt
Now - yeah im bitching - some things stress other people out which are way less heavy, others need alot more to get stressed but i have been losing my shit lately.
Started picking up the occasional social cigarette (stopping now!), needing valium just to get to sleep to stop my mind racing, having alcohol urges because Im so fucking on edge all the time (I gave up the booze a while ago so I dont drink at all) and hardly having time to smash out the gym....
I went on a holiday to cuba/jamaica/mexico and my uni made me come to melbourne to resit the exam over 1 % point. literally received a 49%... cunts. and to top it off I just booked another holiday and uni has changed the date of one of my exams for a subject so iv had to pay for a new flight home (luckily domestic)
HOWEVER.... its only been over the last few months after being so self destructive that i came to the realisation..... what good is life if your not happy. I want to start hitting the gym again 6 days a week, who cares what other people think of me, I dont have to get the highest marks, I dont have to get a job at one of the huge commercial law firms, and I dont have to compare myself to anyone else. If things dont work out with my girlfriend then its not the end of the world. I have a great family and friends and need to focus on the positives. Not get bogged down. Might start meditation as opposed to medication..... I guess iv been feeling good the last couple of days... feel like iv had an awakening... ALL IS GOOD IN THE WORLD AT LEAST I HAVE MY HEALTH ;-)