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Sexual pet peeves

Hard-Bitten

Hard-Bitten

New member
shooooooot !
what is it?

Number one : all guys should know how to pull out in time.

Not here to trash the genders b/c we all are not born with porn star like abilities... or there are some...lol
 
Guys who make distracting slurping noises when they go down (makes me laugh, but not horny)

Guys who think they are rubbing your clitoris but they are basically giving you an indian burn somewhere else.

Guys whose sex talk makes me laugh. I once had a guy say "Oh yeah, ride me like a horse." :worried: That was the end of that.

Guys who grab your head and try to play rough while you are going down on them.

Guys who want to go on for a decade when it stopped doing anything for me 20 minutes ago.

Guys who want to switch positions every 3 seconds.

I could go on and on......

:lmao:
 
heatherrae said:
Guys who make distracting slurping noises when they go down (makes me laugh, but not horny)

Guys who think they are rubbing your clitoris but they are basically giving you an indian burn somewhere else.

Guys whose sex talk makes me laugh. I once had a guy say "Oh yeah, ride me like a horse." :worried: That was the end of that.

Guys who grab your head and try to play rough while you are going down on them.

Guys who want to go on for a decade when it stopped doing anything for me 20 minutes ago.

Guys who want to switch positions every 3 seconds.

I could go on and on......

:lmao:
Click to expand...
you watch too much porn!!! :FRlol:
 
selfish girls
teeth
foreplay that consists of, "here, jump on"
dead fish ( make your own conclusion)
nails that actually bring blood and they think it's sexy
lights have to be off
no imagination, missionary or nothing

I could go on and on too HR!

HR, your a fucking riot....
 
txbondsman said:
selfish girls
teeth
foreplay that consists of, "here, jump on"
dead fish ( make your own conclusion)
nails that actually bring blood and they think it's sexy
lights have to be off
no imagination, missionary or nothing

I could go on and on too HR!

HR, your a fucking riot....
Click to expand...


I'm actually pretty ok with that one.
 
txbondsman said:
selfish girls
teeth
foreplay that consists of, "here, jump on"
dead fish ( make your own conclusion)
nails that actually bring blood and they think it's sexy
lights have to be off
no imagination, missionary or nothing

I could go on and on too HR!

HR, your a fucking riot....
Click to expand...

They can be a turn on
 
where i have to do all the work, it takes 2 too tango.
 
jack_schitt said:
You too? Thats some cool shit, yes?
Click to expand...


It's fantastic. Biting can be good too, but once I had a girl bite my lip so hard it bled, then I fell asleep in the sun and got a pretty sweet burn, making it look like a cold sore. Then she wouldn't talk to me.

Bitches man, bitches.
 
jnevin said:
It's fantastic. Biting can be good too, but once I had a girl bite my lip so hard it bled, then I fell asleep in the sun and got a pretty sweet burn, making it look like a cold sore. Then she wouldn't talk to me.

Bitches man, bitches.
Click to expand...
No shit.

"Is Wayne Brady gonna have to choke a bitch?"
 
jack_schitt said:
Mine too. That and the ****AR Family.
Click to expand...


The Prince basketball one and the Niggar family ones made me laugh so hard my dog thought something was wrong with me.
 
are you jewish heather?? and if so can I call you JAP from now on??..................... :lmao:




heatherrae said:
Guys who make distracting slurping noises when they go down (makes me laugh, but not horny)

Guys who think they are rubbing your clitoris but they are basically giving you an indian burn somewhere else.

Guys whose sex talk makes me laugh. I once had a guy say "Oh yeah, ride me like a horse." :worried: That was the end of that.

Guys who grab your head and try to play rough while you are going down on them.

Guys who want to go on for a decade when it stopped doing anything for me 20 minutes ago.

Guys who want to switch positions every 3 seconds.

I could go on and on......

:lmao:
Click to expand...
 
why does heather strike me as one of those girls that sits back, let's you do all the work...........than has a report card waiting for you the second you finish....???
 
redsamurai said:
why does heather strike me as one of those girls that sits back, let's you do all the work...........than has a report card waiting for you the second you finish....???
Click to expand...



LOL.... no shit.
 
jh1 said:
I'll bet I'd have you doing coke off my abs in under 15 minutes.
Click to expand...

lol....not likely. I've had a couple of friends with a habit, including my current roommate, though she hasn't done it in a while. If I had the slightest inclination to do it...it would have already happened.
 
jh1 said:
I wouldn't know.
Click to expand...


my ass you don't...........I tried it in SF with a stripper and was completely unimpressed.........not only is a tweaking girl completely unerotic, but borderline ANNOYING!! And I wasn't exactly feeling super either..........glad I didn't alot. It's like purposefully bringing on a panic attack.............why do people do this shit?
 
as to the topic............dead fish are my biggest peeves. I've quit in the middle of it because of that shit. Either you're eying me like a tigress or you can go home...................the girls that go primal are my soulmates!!..... :qt: :evil:
 
redsamurai said:
my ass you don't...........I tried it in SF with a stripper and was completely unimpressed.........not only is a tweaking girl completely unerotic, but borderline ANNOYING!! And I wasn't exactly feeling super either..........glad I didn't alot. It's like purposefully bringing on a panic attack.............why do people do this shit?
Click to expand...



LOL... You sure you didn't snort meth?

Anyway... effects people differently I suppose. I've heard some peeps say they tried it once and hated they got panicy and paranoid. Those are the peeps that never went back.

For most, it makes you feel on top of the world, euphoric - as far as sex - for me it sux as it does most but you can ferk forever.

X is a much better drug for sects.
 
nefertiti said:
Someone clearly pissed in your cornflakes this morning. Your random angry sounding posts in this thread amuse me.
Click to expand...
hahaahahahahah i try to shoot it in my eye
 
redsamurai said:
what's up blue............sounds like someone has some issues with men...???



If I come to montreal will you have coffee with me?
Click to expand...

Heya Red......have a few issues, but hey, what woman doesn't ;-)
 
redsamurai said:
true.............sounds like you could use someone who'll cook you breakfast the morning after eh??........ :qt:
Click to expand...

My guy cooks me a great breakfast every weekend. It was the filth before him that didn't ;-)
 
redsamurai said:
so you have a great guy now.............what's the problem?
Click to expand...

Well it's like when a soldier comes back from the war. Well, he's back to his safe country but still has post tramatic stress from this battle at war..........well same here ;-)
 
chicks that LOVE to get on top and just grind their clit on you but don't fuck. If its not thrusting in and out, its not fucking.
 
blueta2 said:
Well it's like when a soldier comes back from the war. Well, he's back to his safe country but still has post tramatic stress from this battle at war..........well same here ;-)
Click to expand...



poor girl.........but I understand, I have the same shit...............but I think once I find someone it'll go away........ :)
 
blueta2 said:
Well it's like when a soldier comes back from the war. Well, he's back to his safe country but still has post tramatic stress from this battle at war..........well same here ;-)
Click to expand...

I totally didn't get that. :confused:
 
Lestat said:
chicks that LOVE to get on top and just grind their clit on you but don't fuck. If its not thrusting in and out, its not fucking.
Click to expand...



That's lame bro, you gotta let them do their thing too... I mean it's not like you can't ferking squirt in/on/allover them after they get a little themselves.

Fucking relax, bozo.

I thought your answer would have been more along the lines of girls that whaft a huge plume of ass smell in your face when they bend over or shit stained aierolas or something...

Grinding their clit a bit? Geez. Selfish bastard.
 
jh1 said:
That's lame bro, you gotta let them do their thing too... I mean it's not like you can't ferking squirt in/on/allover them after they get a little themselves.

Fucking relax, bozo.

I thought your answer would have been more along the lines of girls that whaft a huge plume of ass smell in your face when they bend over or shit stained aierolas or something...

Grinding their clit a bit? Geez. Selfish bastard.
Click to expand...
im all for letting them do their thing, but why try to break my cock off in the process? Just get on top and dry hump, don't put my cock in and start grinding around on it contorting it in all kinds of positions.
 
Lestat said:
im all for letting them do their thing, but why try to break my cock off in the process? Just get on top and dry hump, don't put my cock in and start grinding around on it contorting it in all kinds of positions.
Click to expand...



You should talk to KB about that if it's bothering you that bad.
 
jh1 said:
That's lame bro, you gotta let them do their thing too... I mean it's not like you can't ferking squirt in/on/allover them after they get a little themselves.

Fucking relax, bozo.

I thought your answer would have been more along the lines of girls that whaft a huge plume of ass smell in your face when they bend over or shit stained aierolas or something...

Grinding their clit a bit? Geez. Selfish bastard.
Click to expand...

that was one of the best posts ever on EF
 
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Reactions: jh1
Girls that can't suck dick
Girls that are not aggressive
Ugly cooters
Girls who act all "tee hee I'm SOOO embarrassed!!! TEE!!" - shut the fuck up, donkey. you know you're a pig, I know you're a pig, shit your mother knows you're a pig.
Girls who can't ride the cock
Girls who don't understand that pain = love
Girls who cry during sex
Girls who don't worship my cum as the giver of life
Girls who gag
Girls who don't suck me off after I cum
Girls who are older than 22
Girls who don't know how to REALLY dirty talk - don't grunt, no "Oh God" or "Deeper!!" or "FUCK MY PUSSY". This ain't highschool. Either yell "Punch me in the face you fucking piece of shit!!!" or go back to the minor leagues, junior
Girls who aren't shaved bald
Girls who are too used to low value men to realize that it is their PRIVILEGE to have my cock, not their right
 
Last edited:
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Reactions: jh1
heatherrae said:
Guys who make distracting slurping noises when they go down (makes me laugh, but not horny)

Guys who think they are rubbing your clitoris but they are basically giving you an indian burn somewhere else.

Guys whose sex talk makes me laugh. I once had a guy say "Oh yeah, ride me like a horse." :worried: That was the end of that.

Guys who grab your head and try to play rough while you are going down on them.

Guys who want to go on for a decade when it stopped doing anything for me 20 minutes ago.

Guys who want to switch positions every 3 seconds.

I could go on and on......

:lmao:
Click to expand...
a whole lifetime of sex ed in this one post!! :artist:
 
girls who don't like to fuck longer than 1 orgasm or 20 minutes
girls who don't put MY cock in their mouth while i cum
girls who don't massage my balls or suck the cum off my cock after i blow
girls who like to cover their face with their hair while they blow me
girls who don't know how to put their hair up while they blow me
girls who don't know how to ride reverse cowgirl

heather would be the worst fuck ever

edit: fixed, lol.
 
Last edited:
swole said:
girls who don't like to fuck longer than 1 orgasm or 20 minutes
girls who don't put their cock on my mouth while i cum
girls who don't massage my balls or suck the cum off my cock after i blow
girls who like to cover their face with their hair while they blow me
girls who don't know how to put their hair up while they blow me
girls who don't know how to ride reverse cowgirl

heather would be the worst fuck ever
Click to expand...


WTF?
 
swole said:
girls who don't like to fuck longer than 1 orgasm or 20 minutes
girls who don't put their cock on my mouth while i cum
girls who don't massage my balls or suck the cum off my cock after i blow
girls who like to cover their face with their hair while they blow me
girls who don't know how to put their hair up while they blow me
girls who don't know how to ride reverse cowgirl

heather would be the worst fuck ever
Click to expand...

DUDE!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 
Apparently swole thinks heather would be a bad lay cause she doesn't have a cock she can put on his mouth while he cums

:worried:
 
KillahBee said:
Apparently swole thinks heather would be a bad lay cause she doesn't have a cock she can put on his mouth while he cums

:worried:
Click to expand...

fuck dude i didn't catch my typo before the hyenas got me lol
 
swole said:
fuck dude i didn't catch my typo before the hyenas got me lol
Click to expand...



you know what's funny........when scrolling through this thread I thought I was like the only tool that caught that, so I like immediately replied to JH1 saying I second that...................well I scroll down further and it's like the only thing dudes are talking about. Like everyone nailed it...............just shows you how on point you have to be here.............but that's why I love it here, nigga's is ruthless up in here!!! :lmao:
 
Might be ruthless around here, but dang.. you can't go around saying you want some chic to put her cock in your mouth while you cum anywhere...

Unless ur Perkle... we all know that nug is 4 real.
 
men that don't make any noise.....

men that cum in to seconds when they have you super hot and then its over

same ole positions and no imagination
 
Lestat said:
chicks that LOVE to get on top and just grind their clit on you but don't fuck. If its not thrusting in and out, its not fucking.
Click to expand...
For me just the opposite.

Guys who just want to thrust in and out and don't know that it isn't doing much.
 
swole said:
girls who don't like to fuck longer than 1 orgasm or 20 minutes
girls who don't put MY cock in their mouth while i cum
girls who don't massage my balls or suck the cum off my cock after i blow
girls who like to cover their face with their hair while they blow me
girls who don't know how to put their hair up while they blow me
girls who don't know how to ride reverse cowgirl

heather would be the worst fuck ever

edit: fixed, lol.
Click to expand...
:argue:

I just know to get what I need. Most girls try to perform like the porno girls then fake like it really got them off. LOL.
 
Gymgurl said:
men that don't make any noise.....

men that cum in to seconds when they have you super hot and then its over

same ole positions and no imagination
Click to expand...

we should never have sex :worried:
 
PUBES!
Shave them.
All of them... completely.
That means check from the bottom of your beave all the way back to around your asshole!

Then you have the girls that think they know everything. You are nailing them from behind. They are getting into it and start doing their shit. The only problem is they have zero consistencey with their movement. This can lead to my cock coming out and smashing into them. That can lead to my cock bending in half and popping.
If you break my dick I will probably kill you.
Its pretty simple. Stay at the same pace or just say "do this" and change it.
Safety first people.
*Note that does not mean condoms. They are stupid!
 
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