Question for the ladies, it's seckshual in nature....

[blueta2]

Um yeah, I probably like to have sex more than my 40-something year old counterparts, but that has nothing to do with what I said. Currently, I still like to have sex (often) with the men I get with, but there's plenty of stuff I don't like to do that I'll do anyways occasionally to make them happier.

And in the future, if/when my libido slows down, I'll apply the same type of thinking to sex.

I'm not an idiot. I don't think this guy's wife can flip a switch and turn her sex drive up. I don't think she can make herself want to have sex more. I'm saying she needs to sacrifice a little and do it anyways for the sake of their marriage.

I bet if a woman wrote this thread saying she was meeting all her husband's needs, but he wasn't meeting hers anymore because he was tired and stressed and blah blah blah, you wouldn't be making excuses for him. You'd be giving us some speech about how he should try his best to work with her. She needs to do the same. It's not that hard. Just spread 'em for like, 10 minutes once or twice a week more often and I'm sure he'd be fine.

I bet you're wrong

And when you get into your 40's, then you can answer how you would feel. When my hormones were going wild at your age, I could not even think about not having sex all the time.

Some woman have stronger libido's than others,

Now having said all this, we have NO IDEA what's really going on with his wife! You just assumed she some selfish bitch! Quite the diagnosis!

 

[AFeedz]

I bet you're wrong

And when you get into your 40's, then you can answer how you would feel. When my hormones were going wild at your age, I could not even think about not having sex all the time.

Some woman have stronger libido's than others,

Now having said all this, we have NO IDEA what's really going on with his wife! You just assumed she some selfish bitch! Quite the diagnosis!

I was joking when I said that the first time, but regardless...even if it's a more medical problem, she's still selfish because if she cared about fixing it for him, she would've gone to the doctor, which I doubt she did or even mentioned. Not fixing it for your husband if it's a medical problem is just as selfish as if the reason was simply that she didn't feel like it.

And my libido may change in 20 years, but my belief that both parties involved need to sacrifice won't. He's sacrificing a little for her to accommodate her needs, really I don't understand why you think it's so impossible for her to accommodate his just because she's 40 years old.

 

[AztecWarrior]

I couldn't be with a women like that. Don't want to rant on you, but it's your fault. You even said, she never displayed any desire for sex to begin with. Should of addresed it, while the relationship was still in it's early stages and could of worked on it. SOL if you ask me. Hope things workout for you though. At her age, you can safely say, she is set in her own ways, such as you are.

 

[just...v]

Oh my goodness, Blueta2 and Annie, lol.


So I'm between both your ages. And I gotta say that I totally agree with Annie on this. Withholding sex is abusive in my opinion. If she has a medical problem then she needs to go to the doc and figure it out. If she's stressed, then she needs to bite the bullet and fuck the bro. Sex is an excellent stress reliever and she will feel better after she does it.

Women often fail to realize how important sex is to a man, especially one in a monogamous relationship. Turning them down is very hurtful.

 

[AAP]

and ..... you......know this......How?

Cause I am too cheap to buy lube for my tricks comfort. Who cares if it hurts? Not like I am seeing them again anyway.


*fast forward to three years later.......*


oh shut up

 

[AztecWarrior]

I bet you're wrong

And when you get into your 40's, then you can answer how you would feel. When my hormones were going wild at your age, I could not even think about not having sex all the time.

Some woman have stronger libido's than others,

Now having said all this, we have NO IDEA what's really going on with his wife! You just assumed she some selfish bitch! Quite the diagnosis!

Aren't you assuming as well? Of course no one here knows the whole truth to thier marriage, but from what he has stated, they seem to love each other. From his actions, I think he deserves better. It's not like he's a bad guy and there is nothing wrong with wanting to have sex with your own wife once in awhile.(I'm above normal by the way ;0)By all the repsonses from both male and female posters on here, she is the odd one out here. Speaking from a male point of view, sex is a big motivation of what we seek...most men anyway. In the end, on both sides you'll often find yourself doing things for the other person that you don't normally have any interest in because you want them to be happy. It's a compromise. You think, I want to spend 2 hours of my life watching some gay ass movie like some love story? Hell no!! I've done it anyway, because I know a women will appreciate I took the time to take her and spend time with her. I'm more simple, let me have some gym time, make some good food in awhile, and make love to me, but dont forget to fuck me crazy stlye once in awhile, I'm good. If I get those 3 things I listed, I'll break my back trying to make that women happy. Believe it.

 

[just...v]

Aren't you assuming as well? Of course no one here knows the whole truth to thier marriage, but from what he has stated, they seem to love each other. From his actions, I think he deserves better. It's not like he's a bad guy and there is nothing wrong with wanting to have sex with your own wife once in awhile.(I'm above normal by the way ;0)By all the repsonses from both male and female posters on here, she is the odd one out here. Speaking from a male point of view, sex is a big motivation of what we seek...most men anyway. In the end, on both sides you'll often find yourself doing things for the other person that you don't normally have any interest in because you want them to be happy. It's a compromise. You think, I want to spend 2 hours of my life watching some gay ass movie like some love story? Hell no!! I've done it anyway, because I know a women will appreciate I took the time to take her and spend time with her. I'm more simple, let me have some gym time, make some good food in awhile, and make love to me, but dont forget to fuck me crazy stlye once in awhile, I'm good. If I get those 3 things I listed, I'll break my back trying to make that women happy. Believe it.

This is what women don't get. You give a man fantastic sex, I'm talking down and dirty anything he wants like his personal porn star type of sex. And he will be willing to try to give you just about anything you need from him. Men need 3 things: to be appreciated for what they do, to be given their space, and SEX.

 

[cindylou]

Over on another forum...all women..they would all complain about this. I never understood why a woman wouldn't have sex w/ her husband. Johnny and I sorta had the same sexual appetite most of our marriage so sex was never a problem and if it was I wasn't aware of it. I never turned him down but he did turn me down in the last months of pregnancy lol....

the space part...wtf is that? What kind of space does a man need?

 

[nydj66]

So far we have only heard iright's side of the story and there's plenty of room for speculation. But based on what he has posted and my own life experience, here's what happened:

His wife had some kind of emotional crisis (either from the beginning or later in the marraige) requiring her need for AD's. Hence the comment that she hated herself and everything else when she wasn't on them.

Iright went into caretaker mode because he loves his wife and it's the chivalrous thing to do. He started spoiling her and trying to make her as happy and comfortable as possible. He never intended for it to be the way things were permanantly but she was more than willing to accept the coddling and attention and it became the new standard for how they interact.

The really shitty thing is that iright's continuing acts of kindness are what is making him less desireable to his wife. He's become her friend and he no longer appeals to her inate desire to be with an alpha male. She's also 45 where hormones play less of a role and she's on AD's. In a perfect world she would recognize the sacrifice he made and make an equal sacrifice from her end to change the situation.

But she's stuck in the "I've got to figure this out before I can function properly again" zone and so they're at a standstill. As everyone here who's been successful at getting fit knows, sometimes you have to "just do it" and figure shit out along the way. A defining atribute of adulthood is the ability to recognize that short-term sacfrifice is sometimes the only way to achieve long-term success.

Iright heroically and unselfishly jumped in to help his wife when it seemed that she was "drowning" in depression/anxiety. Now the marraige is in trouble (or soon will be) and his wife has not yet realized that fact. Annie and just_v are younger but have already recognized that a relationship needs maintenance or it will break down...just like a car or house or anything else. Let's hope that Iright's wife can learn this before it's too late.

 

[just...v]

Over on another forum...all women..they would all complain about this. I never understood why a woman wouldn't have sex w/ her husband. Johnny and I sorta had the same sexual appitite most of our marriage so sex was never a problem and if it was I wasn't aware of it. I never turned him down but he did turn me down in the last months of pregnancy lol....

the space part...wtf is that? What kind of space does a man need?

They don't always want us in their heads, for one. Some woman push the "what are you thinking" question a bit far. If he is in a mood and doesn't want to say what his problem is then back off. It doesn't mean he's done something wrong or that it's you. He will come to you when he's ready.

The other thing is time to do the things they want to. The gym was a good example. Let them go without bitching about it. The one thing they did before you came around is the one thing their gonna want to do once you're a part of their life.

Sometimes it's time with their friends. Men seem to be more themselves with their friends when they aren't so much with us. What I mean is, some men seem to be a "best behavior" version of themselves when around their chick, so they need time to unwind with their friends.