Question for the ladies, it's seckshual in nature....

[miplank]

This whole board is dedicated to people who take anabolic steroids without a prescription.

Now you have a problem with us discussing other meds?

roid rage!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111

 

[nydj66]

( see bolded above) I was thinking of what you said when we went to bed after dinner. Of course, right on schedule, she asked me to massage her shoulders/back, then she wanted her hair played with, then she likes to have her lower back/butt massaged, this is everynight. I was thinking about what NY said and the time was right. Lovingly, mind you, as I rubbed/massaged, I told her that "I liked massaging her, making her relax and feel good. I always love the way her skin feels... and there are things that I like as well. I like to have sex/ intamacy, once or twice a week atleast." She said, 'I know". and I told her that having intamacy made me feel loved and closer to her as a husband. That being married has many hard points, and it has it's wonderful points. and we weren't putting enough effort into the wonderful points." The answer, 'I'm working on it." I spooned her until she went to sleep. There was no,"What can I do? or I'm really tired tonight, but lets work on it tomorrow before it gets late. No, I hear you and it's important to me too", nothing. sigh

I guess I was hoping for a better response. Being positive, maybe she heard me and will try and be more responsive, idk.

Part of the reason that you're in this position is that you obviously have an issue standing up for yourself.

When she says, "I'm working on it." The proper response is, "How about rolling over and working on it right now?" It's not pushy, it's not mean, it's just to the point.

When she refuses then (and she will because she knows she can get away with it) that's when you get indignant. You are being treated unfairly here and you have a right to be pissed about it.

I completely understand your position here...you're being loving and accomodating and she's lucky to have you. You can't understand why she wouldn't reciprocate out of gratitude. The truth is that even at 45, she's not adult enough to understand that. And she doesn't see any danger of losing you over it.

Blueta mentioned earlier about an ex who would bargain for sex and what a turn-off that was. Women are kind of built that way; they are much more likely to be turned on by a man taking what he wants without asking. To a point, of course, you can't really rape her.

So the time for negotiation is when you're talking and away from the bedroom. When it comes time to actually do the deed, you need to expend some effort on the seduction. But first, she needs to be open minded and allow herself to be seduced.

How you get to that point is the sticky part. You may just have to get disgusted enough to leave her over it. But you also have to be ready for the possibility that she may just let you leave (not likely since she's getting more out of this relationship than you). But it's still a possibility.

I don't envy you. But the bottom line is you've picked a bride who is somewhat selfish. Maybe tell her that this isn't working for you and you want to start counceling. She needs to understand that it is a serious problem.

Unless it isn't. In which case you'll just have to live with it.

 

[TC2]

( see bolded above) I was thinking of what you said when we went to bed after dinner. Of course, right on schedule, she asked me to massage her shoulders/back, then she wanted her hair played with, then she likes to have her lower back/butt massaged, this is everynight. I was thinking about what NY said and the time was right. Lovingly, mind you, as I rubbed/massaged, I told her that "I liked massaging her, making her relax and feel good. I always love the way her skin feels... and there are things that I like as well. I like to have sex/ intamacy, once or twice a week atleast." She said, 'I know". and I told her that having intamacy made me feel loved and closer to her as a husband. That being married has many hard points, and it has it's wonderful points. and we weren't putting enough effort into the wonderful points." The answer, 'I'm working on it." I spooned her until she went to sleep. There was no,"What can I do? or I'm really tired tonight, but lets work on it tomorrow before it gets late. No, I hear you and it's important to me too", nothing. sigh

I guess I was hoping for a better response. Being positive, maybe she heard me and will try and be more responsive, idk.

Let me guess...she is a WHITE WOMAN...correct?

She is lazy and only thinks about herself and their is no "fixing" her.

 

[shirlene29]

I'm thinking of something more like this. Just grab her and flip her over on her stomach and tell her that I'm tired of this shit! Grab the KY and show her what a real mans tool can do for her attitude. After I've savaged her and got my nutt, put her on her back and tell her to lick it off giving me time to recover to give it to her again. Wimmen like that kind of thing you know...

How's THAT!! I'll show HER who's boss.... and then call the best divorce lawyer I can find.

not that this is the best approach ^^^^ but have you tried going for forceful/primal in a hot and sexy way? because..some wimminz DO actually like that from time to time to keep things interesting??

fwiw..my husband was on zoloft 2 years ago..it destroyed his sex drive and it never really fully recovered after he was off it

 

[TC2]

not that this is the best approach ^^^^ but have you tried going for forceful/primal in a hot and sexy way? because..some wimminz DO actually like that from time to time to keep things interesting??

fwiw..my husband was on zoloft 2 years ago..it destroyed his sex drive and it never really fully recovered after he was off it

yep..they sure as fuck do...I don't ask, I don't fuckin barter or beg. I pick up my wife..throw her over my shoulder, throw her on the bed, take take her clothes off and just take it.

Every women I have ever been with has told me that this is how it should be done.

 

[canadianhitman]

I agree with those saying you need to stop doing the things she likes having done for her until she notices they've stopped...and then it leads to the dialog that you were illustrating to her what she has been doing to you for so long. If, after that, she's still not willing to meet you halfway, you have to consider pulling the plug. And fuck the hiding behind the script shit; she has to figure out a way to meet you halfway REGARDLESS; why the fuck should you be forced to near celibacy the rest of your life? This is the kind of shit that leads half the guys I know to cheat: in reality they'd like to get out entirely, but they love their kids to much to become an every other weekend dad.

 

[canadianhitman]

And before blueta2 gets on her soapbox regarding my post re: hiding behind the script med side effect, I have practiced what I preached. Years ago, when ripping up I used femara...which completely destroyed my sex drive. Did I just look at the woman I was with and say "sorry, honey....but my sex drive has been destroyed because of a side effect...so you're out of luck"? No, because that's just bullshit selfish behaviour; I popped a blue pill a couple of times a week and rocked it. I wasn't even into it (funny things happen when you remove all estrogen from your body as a male), but she never knew the difference, because I acted like I was into it and was sporting the steel. So if his wife needs to pre-pack her hoo-ha with some lube and fake it, so be it. You should never expect someone else to suffer in silence because of something that's your issue.

 

[ceo]

She DOES need to be put in her place. I'm not telling him to go treat her like a dog, but yeah, I do think something needs to be done. I, personally, would never want to be in a relationship that was one sided. And I wouldn't want to be in a relationship where, when I confronted my partner about my needs being met, they ignored me but still expected their own needs to be met.

He pretty much made it clear he got no reaction from her when telling her nicely and truthfully what he needed from the relationship, so obviously words and Mr.Nice Guy didn't work. I don't think she's going to realize how much it sucks for him to not have his needs met until her needs are no longer met either.

Women like this drive me nuts and this is why men always complain. So many women are all "me me me, excuse excuse excuse". I'm sorry, but do you honestly think she deserves to have all of her needs met when she's meeting none of his? That's bullshit. Even if it is her libido, suck it the F up and just give him a little something. You think he wants to rub her ass every night? I'm sure he does sometimes, but I doubt every single night...but he does, because he cares.

Relationship is practically spelled s-a-c-r-i-f-i-c-e. It doesn't matter if she wants to or not or if her libido is up at that moment or not. He's not asking for it every day. She needs to deal with it and sacrifice a little for the happiness of the person she loves.

So yeah, I think I gave some pretty great advice.

BOOM!

I like you AnnieFiedler!!

 

[nydj66]

boom!

I like you anniefiedler!!

+1

 

[IrightI]

LOL, these are ALL good, one way or anther. What I'll do will be a hybrid of what NY first suggested and tc2. lol I DO appreciate all those who responded, it is a REAL issue. I told Eb's the other day on a thread she had that marriage is one of the hardest things that she'll ever do. I think that mine is a little more bumpy than some, but not so different than most. I also appreciate the fact that the thread was taken seriously by everyone, even the ones who posted just once busting my balls, knowing yall, even that was a good thing.

Thanks everyone, I'll let yall know how this goes.

TxB