Problems with the wife over the EF

[Juice Authority]

Spidey's recent thread inspired this post. I don't know about any of you guys that are married with kids but the wife and I and constantly fighting about the time on spend chatting with you gentlemen on this board. I look at it for what it is, a hobby/interest plus it's a social outlet to communicate with people that share common interests. She likes to refer to it as an obsession that's ripping our family apart. I think that's a little extreme but nonetheless it's become a big problem in our house. Have any of you had similar problems at home over the time you spend on this board? If so, how have dealt with it.

 

[Canuck4]

I got the same problem with my girl.
I go on the computer and she gets mad. Before I know it, I been online for more than an hour.
She gets pissed and she wont talk to me for the rest of the night.
Oh well

 

[Juice Authority]

I got the same problem with my girl.
I go on the computer and she gets mad. Before I know it, I been online for more than an hour.
She gets pissed and she wont talk to me for the rest of the night.
Oh well

Not only will she not talk to me, she won't give me any action either.

 

[Goldprospector]

My wife and I worked out our computer problems years ago. We had the "Internet" when it was new and have had time to adjust. Our problems started with chat rooms...it became an obsession with both of us...Later we hade 2 computer and 3 seperate phone lines...so we could both be online at the same time and still get calls. It eventually caused a big riff in our marriage and we split for a few months...but we both evaluated our live and what was important. Now when she goes online...I dont say anything and neither does she when I am online...But if she wants to spend time with me...I stop the puter stuff...and visa vera. It makes you learn to make the most use of your time. I type pretty fast and I read really fast. But we both work and she works night shift and I work swing shift...so I get some time alone to stay on the EF board on a regular basis...
Anyway, the bottom line, if you like the girl...turn the computer off when she asks....spend a little quality time and you would be surprised at how understanding they can be...at least mine anyway.

 

[Juice Authority]

My wife and I worked out our computer problems years ago. We had the "Internet" when it was new and have had time to adjust. Our problems started with chat rooms...it became an obsession with both of us...Later we hade 2 computer and 3 seperate phone lines...so we could both be online at the same time and still get calls. It eventually caused a big riff in our marriage and we split for a few months...but we both evaluated our live and what was important. Now when she goes online...I dont say anything and neither does she when I am online...But if she wants to spend time with me...I stop the puter stuff...and visa vera. It makes you learn to make the most use of your time. I type pretty fast and I read really fast. But we both work and she works night shift and I work swing shift...so I get some time alone to stay on the EF board on a regular basis...
Anyway, the bottom line, if you like the girl...turn the computer off when she asks....spend a little quality time and you would be surprised at how understanding they can be...at least mine anyway.

That's would work fine if my wife spent more time online versus the in front of TV.

 

[Laser0001]

J.A. maybe shes watching TV because your not paying attention to her Just like Im doing to my wife right now.But seriously balance needs to be practiced to maintain a quality life

 

[Nelson Montana]

Not only will she not talk to me, she won't give me any action either.

That's cold.

It's an interesting phenomenon. I imagine this is what it was like when TV or the telephone became popular, but more so. It's like hanging out with your buddies. Nobody wants to leave because you never know what might happen and the more people there are, the better the party.

It is addictive, but sometimes you have to just turn it off. It'll be there tomorrow.

Sometimes either I'll say to my wife, or
she'll say to me; "Enough." And that's all it takes to realize, we've been on too long.

 

[papucho]

When together my Gfriend and I decided to use a half hour time limit, just to check mail and stuff, then late at night it's all mine..... the computer that is

 

[Devastation]

you must make time for her. this board, as great as it it, ain't worth fueding with your woman. i too had to adjust and learn this

 

[c3bodybuilding]

I've had this conversation with my fiancee' a few weeks ago. She was mad that I spent so much time on here. She said I was taking away from 'our' time. Now I only go on when she is playing scrabble with my sister (it's their version of Elite. They love that damn game!), or when she is sleeping. Any free time we both have, we spend it together.

ps. The only problem now, they make me spell check words for them online! Tsk tsk, I tell them thats cheating... lol

 

[Gottso]

I used to say to the woman "well i could just as well be at a bar hanging out rather than being online [in your presence]". guess it was my way of justifying my obsession with being on the comp. Only recently, after 2 years or so of doing this, have I seen just how damaging it can be. For some reason i cant even sit at the computer for more than 20min, which she loves , since im not 'ignoring' her anymore.
anything is good in moderation, but when taken to an exess, it can cause some serious problems. once any party in a relationship feels some sort of neglect due to another's "hobby", something has to change. Either limit the time in the "hobby", get the other person interested in it as well, or get another person.

I know many a 'online buddies' that have had their wives/husbands leave them because of their online obsession.

On the other hand, if you are going on to check the boards for a little bit, she should learn to deal with it and not immediately turn up the tude-ometer.

relationships, a cruel game of give and take!

GL mate.

Gottso

 

[Mandinka2]

Tell her u have to do somethin with ur frustration and ya don't want to cheat on her (that will get the guilt trip women love to pull goin), tell her to fuck more and then u wont have to spend so much time here.

 

[Johnny Cut]

i like sex better then i do hanging out with you guys.....when my girl comes over its all about her, but if one of u blows me then maybe ill think about staying on more...lol

 

[Parabellum]

I used to have that problem, then I bought the wife a computer and introduced her to the internet and everything is fine.

 

[drveejay11]

Damn, I feel soooo lucky.....my girl's the shiznittzzz when it come to this shit. I'm online all the time and she's right next to me on the couch 99% of the time doing HER favorite thing/passtime.....reading a book!

Relationships are DEF about mutual respect....but they should also be about allowing your mutual other to live life as they please as long as there's NO disrespect involved. You gotta be happy inside with yourself AND with your relationship otherwise it's NOT worth it IMO y'all!!! It's a fine balance....but it revolves around respect. THIS is what needs to be DEFINED by both you and your partner and NO ONE else.

 

[Lift Chief]

When i've got a girl around the internet becomes secondary.

 

[Canuck4]

Damn, that a big problem then.
Time for a new wife bro

Not only will she not talk to me, she won't give me any action either.

 

[Zyglamail]

Spidey's recent thread inspired this post. I don't know about any of you guys that are married with kids but the wife and I and constantly fighting about the time on spend chatting with you gentlemen on this board. I look at it for what it is, a hobby/interest plus it's a social outlet to communicate with people that share common interests. She likes to refer to it as an obsession that's ripping our family apart. I think that's a little extreme but nonetheless it's become a big problem in our house. Have any of you had similar problems at home over the time you spend on this board? If so, how have dealt with it.

Its obvious there is a problem in your relationship and I dont know the story well enough to even try and place blame and blame isnt really of importance at this juncture getting things back on track is. Having been through divorce before I would say that you need to get to the root of the problem and get it fixed ASAP. If you want to get your marriage back on track, weather your fault or hers, your going to need to do some work. If all she does is complaine about it then the job rests squarely on your shoulders.

 

[Johnny Cut]

or just sue EF ...lol

 

[under_dawg]

When i've got a girl around the internet becomes secondary.

it's true...when it comes down to it, the internet will still be here tomorrow whereas she may not.
UD

 

[CLOBRO]

I had a big blowout with my wife last summer about this issue. I was spending the majority of my time at home online.

Anyway, now I log on at work and at home when she's not around (she works late anywa) and I keep my internet time to a minimum when she is around.

 

[Vicious cycle]

I think you should explain to her that while you love her, leading seprate lives ( eg. having your own hobbies) makes your relationship stronger. It gives you the opportunity to talk to her about new and interesting topics, which in turn opens dialog between the two of you in other areas. Once you explain this to her, then compromise. Tell her you will only spend a certian amount of time on certian days on the computer.

I'm sure she is a resonable person and if she has any interest in saving the relationship, this should work.

 

[THeMaCHinE]

It's totally exasperating for someone to diss you in favor of the computer. And really, if it is taking away from your time together, then it is damaging. Most couples, on average, need 10 hours of undivided (no tv, no kids, etc.) attention per week to maintain and grow the relationship. It needs to work both ways though -- tell her that you'll give up the surfing (or only surf for an hour, whaterver), if she'll do the same thing with her TV -- then go take a walk with her each night, spend some QT.

 

[dzuljas]

J.A. maybe shes watching TV because your not paying attention to her Just like Im doing to my wife right now.But seriously balance needs to be practiced to maintain a quality life

jesus, why do these women need all this attention, im NEVER getting married

 

[Juice Authority]

Re: Re: Problems with the wife over the EF

Its obvious there is a problem in your relationship and I dont know the story well enough to even try and place blame and blame isnt really of importance at this juncture getting things back on track is. Having been through divorce before I would say that you need to get to the root of the problem and get it fixed ASAP. If you want to get your marriage back on track, weather your fault or hers, your going to need to do some work. If all she does is complaine about it then the job rests squarely on your shoulders.

Good point Zyg and I agree. We mostly go at over the little shit like this.

 

[Zyglamail]

Re: Re: Re: Problems with the wife over the EF

Good point Zyg and I agree. We mostly go at over the little shit like this.

I would even go so far as to say that she really doesnt even know what the problem is or exactly what she wants or even how to go about getting what she wants, she just knows she isnt satisfied with how things are and your time on EF is an easy target for her to express her displeasure with the current situation. Not being in your shoes and seeing just how removed she is from the relationship its hard to determine how far gone she is but one of the biggest mistakes you can make is trying to convince her of anything. When a relationship degrades the mind can become very selfish and unwilling to compromise in the least. Just simply trying to explaine your needs and how EF can fit into your life can be insulting to her because by explaining your needs and where EF fits in you are in essence ignoring her needs at worst and at best showing her that your thoughts are on yourself. Its not logical, but thats the way it works. I simply suggest you start setting aside some time for her. Bring her home flowers on occasion, take time to tell her how much she means to you, ask her questions about her day and simply listen. Show a genuine interest in her.

 

[SofaGeorge]

If your wife says you are spending too much time in front of the computer... get off the computer.

 

[speedy7]

Juice, I value your input to the sight. I understand your connection to people with similar interests but you only know us superficially. Now your wife on the other hand is the other half of you. Spend some more time doing the things you did when you were dating. Restrict your time to EF a little. I think it would be good for you to hang out with some of your pals, go fishing, bowling, car shows, etc, whatever floats your boat.

I know for me I don't have time to be on everyday, but I know that when I need to do research, hang out and shoot the shit with good bros that have similar interests, I come on and hang out. I'm not married but I have good friends that are non juicers that I hang out with.

cheers

 

[raydogg]

Juice I'm walking in your shoes Bro. I've been married 11 yrs. today. Wifey doesn't say too much though about EF because she knows there is plenty of porn that is available for me to look at too. Also, she would never in her wildest dreams think or believe I would try AAS..............Oh yes, I said I've been married 11 yrs so you can best believe my ACTION has slowed down a bit itself so you aren't alone.

 

[tiger88]

I got the same problem with my girl.
I go on the computer and she gets mad. Before I know it, I been online for more than an hour.
She gets pissed and she wont talk to me for the rest of the night.
Oh well

canak is the man

 

[Milhouse]

I never realized how annoying it can be for the other person until last year when I was dating my last girlfriend, I would go to her house and she would be fucking around on the computer with her online friends and it would annoy the shit out me after a while espec when ex's would email her and I aint the jealous type.

Just put the shoes on the other foot and think how would you feel if all she did when you were around was get on the computer.

PS this was when I would show up to see her, she would be like "ok I will be just 5-10 minutes well an hour later still going at it. Time passes fast on the comp

Only reason I spend alot of time online now is because I have a home office I work in and I am single now by choice.

Only other suggestion I can give is next time she gives you grief give her a back hand and let her know who is in charge




Obviously I am being sarcastic there

 

[mt]

Fortunately for me, I'm not married, nor have a girl friend, nor can I get a date. I can spend all the time I want on the net. Lucky me.

 

[wyld1g]

Where is Dr. Phil when you need him?

 

[mt]

Where is Dr. Phil when you need him?

Out promoting his new diet book. The man has no shame.

 

[Big BX]

Damn, I feel soooo lucky.....my girl's the shiznittzzz when it come to this shit. I'm online all the time and she's right next to me on the couch 99% of the time doing HER favorite thing/passtime.....reading a book!

Relationships are DEF about mutual respect....but they should also be about allowing your mutual other to live life as they please as long as there's NO disrespect involved. You gotta be happy inside with yourself AND with your relationship otherwise it's NOT worth it IMO y'all!!! It's a fine balance....but it revolves around respect. THIS is what needs to be DEFINED by both you and your partner and NO ONE else.

Same her. Hell, sometimes she sitting on my lap reading the stuff too. We have the same interests and she is older.

 

[wetback]

i like sex better then i do hanging out with you guys.....when my girl comes over its all about her, but if one of u blows me then maybe ill think about staying on more...lol

I second this except I have a wife.

 

[Singleton]

Substitute for life.

 

[Mythicalbeing]

Like you all my wife does get first priority, but she understands why I'm on the board talking my trash, and sharing, gaining new insights into what has become my world.






AAS is just that without the knowledge needed to use them.
Think I just found my first signature!

 

[Hid-He-Us]

Weeellll Damn,I thought I was all alone! Its nice to be in good company. My Fiance' is very tolerant,but she still has comments now and then. Sometimes I share the contents of certain threads with her thinking she'll find them amusing. She seems to think that all we (bodybuilders) talk about is SEX.

 

[canadianhitman]

Juice,

Just how much time are you spending online? If it is most of your free time, then her gripe is legitimate. But if you're spending an hour a day on the boards, she's being irrational. Add up how much time she spends in a day on her hobbies...as the boards do constitute part of our bodybuilding lifestyle. How is participating on the boards any different than her watching T.V., for example? And don't let her pull the "we can watch TV together" argument off, since we all know it is a very small percent of the time that both partners in a relationship are both actually watching their first choice of programming simultaneosly. (for me, after sitcoms, it's night and day for prefrenece). Need more detailed account of the amout of time you're online to give an accurate assesment.

 

[jubei]

Where is Dr. Phil when you need him?

Where is riker anyways?

 

[apbt549]

JA what zyg says is right a year ago or so i had the same problem with my now wife .we would fight about the time i spent on the computer if you sit back and think about it there is a life going on around you your wife kids all she wants is for you to pay attenion to her like you do to the forums.this is what i did i just started spending less time online 30mins here or there its alittle easier for me b/c my wife works nights.

sit down and talk to her tell that you have intrest on the forums but you will spend less time online and spend more time witrh her but you still want to be on the forums.....good luck ....

 

[kingc_79]

my gf used to get mad and not know why i was on all time. then i got her to enter the recent strongman contest i was in and now she's hooked. to strongman, working out, and elite

 

[Juice Authority]

Juice,

Just how much time are you spending online? If it is most of your free time, then her gripe is legitimate. But if you're spending an hour a day on the boards, she's being irrational. Add up how much time she spends in a day on her hobbies...as the boards do constitute part of our bodybuilding lifestyle. How is participating on the boards any different than her watching T.V., for example? And don't let her pull the "we can watch TV together" argument off, since we all know it is a very small percent of the time that both partners in a relationship are both actually watching their first choice of programming simultaneosly. (for me, after sitcoms, it's night and day for prefrenece). Need more detailed account of the amout of time you're online to give an accurate assesment.

I have a pretty full life. I'm married with a 16 month old boy, run a financial services business own a few properties and am involved with my church on the weekends. I usually spend most of the time online when I get home from work during the week and sporadically on the weekends. We just found out tonight that she is pregnant with our second child!

 

[kingc_79]

I have a pretty full life. I'm married with a 16 month old boy, run a financial services business own a few properties and am involved with my church on the weekends. I usually spend most of the time online when I get home from work during the week and sporadically on the weekends. We just found out tonight that she is pregnant with our second child!

congratulations!

 

[Juice Authority]

Thanks guys. The news was a surprise as neither of us were expecting this, especially me since I just finished up with a cycle and my sperm count must have been on the low side.

 

[canadianhitman]

Dude, after reading all that's going on in your lives, I'm afraid I have to take your wife's side in this argument if you're anything over 1/2 hour or so during the weekdays, and 1 hour on weekends. Congrats on the second child.

 

[Juice Authority]

Dude, after reading all that's going on in your lives, I'm afraid I have to take your wife's side in this argument if you're anything over 1/2 hour or so during the weekdays, and 1 hour on weekends. Congrats on the second child.

She's right. The problem is a like discussing the things we discuss here and she has zero interest in this stuff. Moderation is key. Unfortuntunately I have no idea what that words means.

 

[OXANDRIN]

i would say 3/4's of the people who are on elite all the time have serious social anxiety disorders and possibly personality disorders

 

[Juice Authority]

i would say 3/4's of the people who are on elite all the time have serious social anxiety disorders and possibly personality disorders

Are you included in that 3/4's or are you part of the remaining 1/4?

 

[THEEGAME2544]

"Hi, I'm Theegame2544......and I'm an Eliteoholic" We should start Elitoholics Annonymous.....But all joking aside, an hour on elite per day is plenty.

 

[Hid-He-Us]

Congradulations on the new conception...........My baby is 18 yo now.

 

[George Spellwin]

Juice, don't restrict your time at Elite, we need you right here bro, just give your wife a gift Platinum Membership and invite her to join in the fun. Soon she'll be hooked too and then maybe you will be the next star couple of Elite -- just like the kronks.

 

[SofaGeorge]

You know... Juice... that is an interesting idea. Hook your wife up one night so she is on the board.

 

[boss]

if you get her hooked like i did you will never have this problem. now that she is due i am here more than her but when the baby comes i may not be here as much also.

 

[thelegacy]

If your wife says you are spending too much time in front of the computer... get off the computer.

Man -this is the smartest thing ive heard yet---is it just me or if the internet causes a marriage to split up or make your spouse very upset maybe you should revaluate whats truly important...

 

[SofaGeorge]

Man -this is the smartest thing ive heard yet---is it just me or if the internet causes a marriage to split up or make your spouse very upset maybe you should revaluate whats truly important...

Bro, if my girlfriend told me she thought I was spending too much time on the internet and not enough time with her - I'd turn the computer off that night.

 

[Stillgoing]

I have a pretty full life. I'm married with a 16 month old boy, run a financial services business own a few properties and am involved with my church on the weekends. I usually spend most of the time online when I get home from work during the week and sporadically on the weekends. We just found out tonight that she is pregnant with our second child!

Congratulations JA. I'm like you, family, busy career, church, etc. I keep Elite on while at work and post when I have a spare minute here or there, or to take a quick mental break. I never post at home. I'm lucky though, my wife likes me to juice, so, she is certainly understanding of the need to keep up with the bros.....