"please pee in the cup ms Stilleto. Not on your pants."

[stilleto]

I went to the doctor today and they needed a urine sample.

"please pee in the cup and leave it on the metal shelf in the bathroom. Thank you."

I go to do the thing, which i knew wasn't going to be easy, since I had just peed before I left for the doctor.

I'm contorting myself so that when that stream comes, i can capture it. Except, ye of big boobs will attest to the fact that I can't see past them. one hand is holding myself from falling over. the other hand is holding the cup. I don't have any other hands to hold the boobs in so i can watch for the pee to happen.

I twist a bit. I can see.
I can see the pee going into the cup, and then somehow changing directions and hitting the seat, then dripping off onto the calf of my jeans.

luckily, there wasn't much there. but... i had to go back to the waiting room, with everyone knowing I had just peed in the cup, and everyone seeing the left bottom half of my jeans having a bit o' the pee on it.

 

[-SD-]

Best thread ever!*




*by an ef chick

 

[jh1]

Random Drug Testing = teh suck.

 

[stilleto]

Random Drug Testing = teh suck.

i guess it would be, but thank goodness... i don't have to have one, ever.

 

[jh1]

^ Oh don't say ever. It could happen.

 

[stilleto]

^ Oh don't say ever. It could happen.

not in marketing, which is where I work.
they encourage creativity anyway- VP always jokes with me to go get high (she doesn't know that i do) and come up with some good ideas.

but if they did ever test, i'm screwed.

 

[LuluDeren]

You're lucky they didn't want a stool sample.

 

[fistfullofsteel]

i hope you caught that shit on tape. you need to post it.

 

[stilleto]

You're lucky they didn't want a stool sample.

oh snap.
lol

 

[all the whey]

i hope you caught that shit on tape. you need to post it.

Here is a pic.

And, it confirms what we have all thought for sometime. Stilleto is the Devil.