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Might have a 9 yr old daughter that I want to find
- Thread starter SDRaver
- Start date
talked to legal today
The guy I saw for my military legal counsel said I was the first guy he has ever seen come in that wanted to initiate a paternity issue.
By the time I pay for lawyer's fees, backchild support paternity test, and anything else I'm looking at an easy $ 20,000.00 in fees.
first off I just can't pull that money out of nowhere. Then again I don't want money being a big reason why I can't see her. OMG, I'd just rather put that money strictly to use for my daughter than some lawyers.
I don't feel right using legal means to force visitaion. I just wish we could just sit down and discuss this. Hell if I have to I'll just use my 2 week winter vacation to walk up and down Jacksonville FL. Kaz (the mom) said they live right by the water so hey that's a start
I just don't feel right trying to start a family with children one day when I don't even have contact with my first. I've never wanted to try so hard or do so much for someone I've never met. I fully believe that there's a place for me in Celine's life.
I haven't heard from Kaz in 3 months now. This sucks too because the holidays are coming and I dread it knowing there's a part of me out there somewhere.
The guy I saw for my military legal counsel said I was the first guy he has ever seen come in that wanted to initiate a paternity issue.
By the time I pay for lawyer's fees, backchild support paternity test, and anything else I'm looking at an easy $ 20,000.00 in fees.
first off I just can't pull that money out of nowhere. Then again I don't want money being a big reason why I can't see her. OMG, I'd just rather put that money strictly to use for my daughter than some lawyers.
I don't feel right using legal means to force visitaion. I just wish we could just sit down and discuss this. Hell if I have to I'll just use my 2 week winter vacation to walk up and down Jacksonville FL. Kaz (the mom) said they live right by the water so hey that's a start
I just don't feel right trying to start a family with children one day when I don't even have contact with my first. I've never wanted to try so hard or do so much for someone I've never met. I fully believe that there's a place for me in Celine's life.
I haven't heard from Kaz in 3 months now. This sucks too because the holidays are coming and I dread it knowing there's a part of me out there somewhere.
TxArmyGuy
New member
Can't you go to Jag?Considering I haven't gone to them yet I dont think they would charge you for the help
Why dont you try getting her number from her mother and explain to them how much this is hurting you. You know the sympathy card
There are people on here that can do a search and find out the newest phone number and address...I would take my 2week leave and head down there...But thats just me...I couldn't allow someone to keep me from seeing my child
I've said a few prayers for ya today and will say another for you before I go to bed...Seeing how I'm not a heavy relig. person this has def caused me to stop and think on a spiritual level
I just dont think I could be so calm and understanding
Why dont you try getting her number from her mother and explain to them how much this is hurting you. You know the sympathy card
There are people on here that can do a search and find out the newest phone number and address...I would take my 2week leave and head down there...But thats just me...I couldn't allow someone to keep me from seeing my child
I've said a few prayers for ya today and will say another for you before I go to bed...Seeing how I'm not a heavy relig. person this has def caused me to stop and think on a spiritual level
I just dont think I could be so calm and understanding
HUGHJORGEN
New member
Re: My heart was ripped out today
GO to legal aid- It's free- Since you did not give up parental rights the adoption is invalid, as you have to sign away your rights for it to be valid. A well written letter form an attorney expaining that if you are not allowed to see your daughter immediately, you will contest the adoption should take care of things nicely!
SDRaver said:Celine's mom hasn't called me for the last 4 days. I called the grandparents to make sure everything was ok. Obviously the husband got his way because I was informed that they don't want to bring this up to Celine til she's at least 16.
The grandmother spoke on her daughter's behalf saying that the marriage is new and that they don't need and distractions right now and that I need to accept that. Complete change of events
First off the husband completey insults Celine's mom by saying that "she will have a paternity test done". Basically casting doubt on her certainty as who the father is and I know this hur her.
The only reason I found this out is beacuse I called to make sure everything was alright otherwise no notice. I bet if the new husband had a daughter out there he'd sure as hell want to see her.
the worse part is I will be in the middle east within a year. God forbid something would happen but I don't want anything to happen and never had met my daughter.
I think of all the things I've already missed and it kills me. 1st steps, new teeth, 1st words, that first time a baby grabs your finger and you just stand there in amazement. Now I'm beeing told that i will basically have to miss another 7 years at least.
I didn't want to do this but I will be seing a lawyer tomorrow to see if I have any type of rights. Specially since they knew I was out there and knew I was still in the military. No one ever informed me of the adoption. this is the mom's 3rd marriage so I know she's feeling the pressure to make it work. but damn her husband shouldn't give her grief over me.
If Celine knows I'm out there then why keep it from her that much longer. The last thing Celine's mom told me was that if her husband tried to make her choose between him or her kids that her kids would come first and that I would see Celine. Guess things change. It was like someone said here's a picture of your gorgeous child that you won't get to see. I have never felt this empty ever.
I play the part at work and around friends but when I'm alone I let it all out.
GO to legal aid- It's free- Since you did not give up parental rights the adoption is invalid, as you have to sign away your rights for it to be valid. A well written letter form an attorney expaining that if you are not allowed to see your daughter immediately, you will contest the adoption should take care of things nicely!
Thanks guys
Yeah I went to JAG. I guess I was trying to explain in civilian terms LOL. Not sure if everyone knew about JAG in civilian world. I honestly don't thinkd Kaz would be mad if I showed up. I just know she's under intense pressure to make her marriage work. I think that I will try to contact the grandparents to let them know that I would like to speak to their daughter. All they can do is say know.
I'm willing to pay back child support if need be and would be willing to try to get stationed near there by working the Florida phase of Ranger School. IF that's what it takes. I don't think any sacrifice would be to big at this point when it comes to having contact with my daughter.
I'm seriously thinking about just hanging in Jacksonville FL for my 2 week vacation to find her. I'm gonna start talking to some people who specialize in this stuff today. I will defintiey pursue the ideas that some of you have posted. They make sense. If I did get to see her this year, the first thing I would do is probably go see my own father who I've never seen in 30 years. One step at a time though.
I'll keep update as they come.
Yeah I went to JAG. I guess I was trying to explain in civilian terms LOL. Not sure if everyone knew about JAG in civilian world. I honestly don't thinkd Kaz would be mad if I showed up. I just know she's under intense pressure to make her marriage work. I think that I will try to contact the grandparents to let them know that I would like to speak to their daughter. All they can do is say know.
I'm willing to pay back child support if need be and would be willing to try to get stationed near there by working the Florida phase of Ranger School. IF that's what it takes. I don't think any sacrifice would be to big at this point when it comes to having contact with my daughter.
I'm seriously thinking about just hanging in Jacksonville FL for my 2 week vacation to find her. I'm gonna start talking to some people who specialize in this stuff today. I will defintiey pursue the ideas that some of you have posted. They make sense. If I did get to see her this year, the first thing I would do is probably go see my own father who I've never seen in 30 years. One step at a time though.
I'll keep update as they come.
HUGHJORGEN
New member
I'm telling you- you have more rights than you know.
I'm just though I'd try to contact family one more time before going the legal route. One the birth certificate she put father unknown so maybe that made the adoption easier. She actually did that to try to protect me. She was 17 and I was 19 when it all happened. she didnt' want her parents to try anything. I wouldn't be surprised to find my self down in jasksonville FL sometime soon.
I know for a fact the mom can't initiate this because of the husband so it might be easier on her if I do. I'm just trying to do this with as little conflict as possible. But I will take advantage of all my rights if need be.
I know for a fact the mom can't initiate this because of the husband so it might be easier on her if I do. I'm just trying to do this with as little conflict as possible. But I will take advantage of all my rights if need be.
GinNJuice
New member
I'll give you my opinion on this situation...
First, I think it's very stand-up that you are looking for your daughter. I know it is probably causing stress in your life too, emotionally and financially.
I worry about your fear of dyeing in the Gulf..... if you do get to see your daughter before you go, and god-forbid you died a little while later, then your daughter would be devastated...... Stay alive bro!
If you are really willing to pay the back child support, then you should DO IT, no matter what it takes. Take out a loan if you have to. If you paid it, then it would be a Good-Faith effort, and you really do owe it anyway, right? I think if you paid the child support, it would help your daughters family, and I'm guessing that they would let you see her. DON'T make them ask you for the money again, since YOU are the one disrupting their situation. However, you should use a third party to prove that you paid and how much. I think if you paid up front, then you may be able to avoid the legal fees, assuming that they come around. If not, then at least you have fulfilled your financial obligation.... and you can pursue it from there.
Good luck and keep us posted
First, I think it's very stand-up that you are looking for your daughter. I know it is probably causing stress in your life too, emotionally and financially.
I worry about your fear of dyeing in the Gulf..... if you do get to see your daughter before you go, and god-forbid you died a little while later, then your daughter would be devastated...... Stay alive bro!
If you are really willing to pay the back child support, then you should DO IT, no matter what it takes. Take out a loan if you have to. If you paid it, then it would be a Good-Faith effort, and you really do owe it anyway, right? I think if you paid the child support, it would help your daughters family, and I'm guessing that they would let you see her. DON'T make them ask you for the money again, since YOU are the one disrupting their situation. However, you should use a third party to prove that you paid and how much. I think if you paid up front, then you may be able to avoid the legal fees, assuming that they come around. If not, then at least you have fulfilled your financial obligation.... and you can pursue it from there.
Good luck and keep us posted
I would pay
The funny thing I asked the mom, Kaz about that and it wasn't an issure. She said she'd never use that as a reason. I think the husband just threw that out there to see if I'd back off but no dice. Hell Celine has all kinds of benefits entitled to her by me being in the military but husband doesn't want even the slightest bit used because that would give me contact with Celine.
My last marriage forced me to file bankruptcy but I've since reocovered thank goodness. I've already started setting money aside.
I really don't think I'll get capped if I go to the Gulf. It's just that being on the front lines just put me at a little more risk than say Joe Blow the payroll clerk LOL. I will call the grandparents to see if they can get her to contact me. In fact I have even got a pre-paid phone card for her so that she dosen't have to pay long distance. That's not a big deal. I"m just trying to make it as easy as possible for Kaz to contact me.
Hopefully the grandmother still talks to her daughter, Kaz. a few months ago they weren't because of religious differences.
I would like my family to know Celine as well. I'm the first grandchild in my family and Celine would be the first great-grandchild in our family.
Like I said before I can see how this would be even more of a shock if Celine has never known she has a biological father out there but she does know and has for a while. She even asked her mom a few times about it.
The funny thing I asked the mom, Kaz about that and it wasn't an issure. She said she'd never use that as a reason. I think the husband just threw that out there to see if I'd back off but no dice. Hell Celine has all kinds of benefits entitled to her by me being in the military but husband doesn't want even the slightest bit used because that would give me contact with Celine.
My last marriage forced me to file bankruptcy but I've since reocovered thank goodness. I've already started setting money aside.
I really don't think I'll get capped if I go to the Gulf. It's just that being on the front lines just put me at a little more risk than say Joe Blow the payroll clerk LOL. I will call the grandparents to see if they can get her to contact me. In fact I have even got a pre-paid phone card for her so that she dosen't have to pay long distance. That's not a big deal. I"m just trying to make it as easy as possible for Kaz to contact me.
Hopefully the grandmother still talks to her daughter, Kaz. a few months ago they weren't because of religious differences.
I would like my family to know Celine as well. I'm the first grandchild in my family and Celine would be the first great-grandchild in our family.
Like I said before I can see how this would be even more of a shock if Celine has never known she has a biological father out there but she does know and has for a while. She even asked her mom a few times about it.
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