Might have a 9 yr old daughter that I want to find

[SDRaver]

One the money issue...

I would pay it because it's for Celine. I'd would just like to stay out of the courts as much as possible. Meaning that If Kaz alone gave me set dates to visit Celine I'd give her my word and abide by it.
one more thing. I have no ill will against the new husband. He's only looking out for his family and I respect him for that. But if he was in my situation I garuntee he'd probably want to see his daughter and have his wife's support during it.
when she said she, Kaz felt bad for me for missing out on stuff like seeing her crawl for the first time, or when she spoke her first words It hit something in me that I can't really explain other than a profound sense of loss. It may be one of the reasons why I've had such tight bonds with some of the daughters of women I've dated in the past. Hell there's a five year old gir in Cali that's still is conviced that whenever she see's Howie Long on TV she tells everyone that's "my Joe" LOL Rambling now LOL
If I had her ex-husband's personal info I'd plaster it all over this internet because of some of the wicked things he did to Kaz and Celine. But that's another topic for another time.

 

[GinNJuice]

Re: You a cali boy too Gin

I grew up in Central Cali. (Monterey County-Salinas Valley). I lived in San Diego from 97-01. and go back whenever I can

I was born and raised in Bakersfield, CA. After I got out of the military, I knew there were better places to live than Bakersfield. I really like Texas and have been here for about 4 years.


On the money issue, I think you have a golden opportunity to be pro-active about the child support. I think if you end up seeing her, then you'll have to pay it anyway....... but if you get it to them without them asking for it, then you'll be highly respected by them (even the husband) for being genuine about your desire to be involved in her life.

I grew up in a single parent home and times were tough. If my dad had given my mom some more money, it would have been a lot better for us.

Believe me, a 9 year old will know what child support is all about and she probably thinks that you are/were not around because of the money issue (that's a natural assumption). If you freely give the money up front, then she will always respect it and know that the money was not why she didn't know you sooner.

Worse case: you pay the money (by taking on debt), and the parents still won't let you see you're girl...... and.... the courts won't let you see her either until she's 18......... sounds bad, but when you finally do see her, then you can honestly say that you've paid child support for years, and that you were still not able to see her (her parents fault)......... you will have her respect, most likely.... and can begin your relationship then.

 

[SDRaver]

I hear what you are saying

Yeah I know Bakersfield LOL.
I am going to call the grandmother in 5 minutes to give her the phone card for Kaz and what I want to do. Until anything esle happens I plan on just setting up a seperate accout to dump money in just for Celine. Let everyone know what happended when I know.
I grew up with a single parent and 2 sisters. Can think of many of times when the money would have came in handy. Well I'll make my call and see what happens. I'm curious to hear from any women on this board that may have had situations like this and how they feel.

 

[SDRaver]

Talked to the grandfather tonight for first time

He was very polite and understanding of the situation. He said he would tell his daughter that I had called and to be patient with her. He said she has some serious issues to deal with right now concerning one of her three daughtes.
Also issues with her husband pertaining to me. I told Kaz's father that if she needed to call me for any reason she could day or night it didn't matter. I owe her a lot so I belive that if her and Celine need anything whatsoever I will step up
I don't have a whole lot but I'd gladly give anything I have to help them out.

 

[SDRaver]

Hopoefully if things work out

I just hope that My side of the family will be able to meet both mom and daughter. Because they all want to and want to soon.

 

[SDRaver]

on a side note

Thanks to everyone who has given me Karma. Not expected but still appreciated

 

[SDRaver]

Well....

The family knows that I want to initiate the paternity test. Not becuase of doubt but because that was one of the demands by the husband.