Married People!

[-SD-]

Trust me when I tell you this: as we evolve and move forward in life, our expectations, our personal views, opinions and our personalities change.

For a while, I thought I married Mr. Right, but after several years, I found the evolution of our lives did not have the togetherness it had in the early years, our paths grew apart and as the anniversaries passed, the further we got from each other. Mr. Right turned out to be Mr. Right-Then.

Should you get married? Sorry hun, only you can make that decision. Is it going to be nice? Only time will tell…

Give me a break. This is the part where it is called "for better or worse". People dont say marriage takes work for nothing and if you are "growing apart" then you werent trying to stay close to each other in the first place.

 

[Forge]

I think it's grand for the right people. I think it would be great for me with the right person. But I'm not married to the right person. This is by far the biggest mistake I've ever made. No question about it.

I've never in my life known that I could be this stressed out and unhappy. Had we not gotten married there is no way we'd be together right now. On some level we love each other and always will. But we can barely tolerate being in the same city let alone house. I wish him well. I hope he lives happily ever after. I hope I do too. We just aren't going to be doing that together.

At this point it's too little too late. Things are broken way beyond being fixable. It's incredibly sad and it's so weird to think that soon enough the person who's been the center of my adult life won't be there. But we bring out the absolute worst in each other at this point.

Get married because you want to and because you love someone. Not because you feel like it's what you should do. Whether it be from expectations of your partner or your family or whoever.

Wow Raina, I had no idea your marriage was in trouble, I'm sorry to hear it.



My marriage only lasted 5 years, but they were a fantastic 5 years. There is some real good advice in this thread and lots of truth. Even though I'm divorced I would have no problem getting married again if the right woman came along, with the wisdom that no marriage is guaranteed to last forever. People change over time, and if the couple can't deal with those changes then they will not last, no matter how perfect it once was.

 

[HiDnGoD]

LOL We bought a house NEXT DOOR to my MIL. Their whole family does'nt even knock on our front door before walking in. Gone are the days of lounging out in my underwear. We are happily married though, and her mother is cool, but it still can get a little weird.

Keep walking around in a thong or bikini, they'll get the hint.

 

[texasbrainsandbeef]

Ok here is my little opinion. I have had the wrong person AND the right person much like many people have. Don't ever marry if you want or need to change ANYTHING about that other person. Don't ever marry if you want or need to change ANYTHING about yourself (of course making compromises is a different thing...such as learning to pick up the cloths we men leave laying on the floor). Sex is a very very important part of the married relationship; however, sex is a very secondary thing to a lot of other things. Being best-friends is a lot more important...and we all know that you can't become best-friends overnight. Don't marry unless you want (not feel like you have to) place that other person as the number person in your life over you buddies. This does not mean kickin your friends to the curb...it just means the buddies take a back seat to your spouse. And don't marry unless you are willing to give you full trust, heart, and faith to that person without any conditions and questions. If you can't do all of that stuff...it is not that you shouldn't get married, it is just that you have not found "the one". Of course love is a crazy thing and sometimes we get it wrong, and we learn from those mistakes. As for me...I have found "the one" and I have had the "wrong one" in the past. And having the right one makes life soooooo much better than being alone in my 02. Just my 02, take it for what it is worth. Hope that helps.

 

[KBEKQT]

Give me a break. This is the part where it is called "for better or worse". People dont say marriage takes work for nothing and if you are "growing apart" then you werent trying to stay close to each other in the first place.

You are not living my life, Jack, so STFU.

When your sig other start spending more time holding their GD 12 oz than your hand and is quick to let you know that every FN thing you do in your life is wrong, come back to me and we'll talk. And I'm not gonna give you the pleasure of knowing a whole lot more crap that is too degrading to post up.

 

[Forge]

Give me a break. This is the part where it is called "for better or worse". People dont say marriage takes work for nothing and if you are "growing apart" then you werent trying to stay close to each other in the first place.

The problem is that sometimes it's only one person who "grows apart" and stops trying, while the other is helpless to stop it. Marriage is bilateral, but divorce today is decidely unilateral. This is why a pre-nup is SO important in today's world.

 

[bigmann245]

You are not living my life, Jack, so STFU.

When your sig other start spending more time holding their GD 12 oz than your hand and is quick to let you know that every FN thing you do in your life is wrong, come back to me and we'll talk. And I'm not gonna give you the pleasure of knowing a whole lot more crap that is too degrading to post up.

im sorry to hear about your story. I never understood why some people even get married. I mean, you and him probably had all the right connections at one point but for some reason when some guys get married they fall back to the 1950's where the man worked, the woman stayed home and had 50 kids. and the man treated his wife like shit. at it seamed acceptable back then. I for one can never treat ANY woman bad. even if she slapped me in the face. upset sure, but I would never lay a hand on another woman or verbally abuse her. the verbal abuse is the worst. some woman would rather be beaten once than be verbally abused all day.

some people think it is so easy, they always have an answer. I like your response to this persons post. no you shouldn’t have to embarrass yourself just to prove your point. when this person gets into a relationship and thinks he has it perfect and one day comes home from work early and finds his wife being pounded on there wedding bed but another guy yelling "your so much better than my husband" you will understand what we mean. I had a friend have that very same thing happen to him. he said he swore he was in a movie. you cant write it any better than that. he just slammed the door shut, grabbed some things and left. she was shocked as shit and her mother had the balls to slap him when he came to pick up his stuff and say it was his fault. he gave her everything. he did whatever she wanted. he still has no idea what went wrong.


KBEKQT I admire your courage and responding to this post. the thing I commend you for is you got out. most woman don’t get out. they keep getting walked on and it only gets worse. move on and look forward. one day you will find that person that makes you extremely happy. take care.

 

[Vicious cycle]

...honestly, is it nice? or does it suck?
and i dont mean in terms of your stuck fucking the same person for life...

i mean in general.
im always gettin told " dont get married son!" and then i find myself tellin that to others .. lol
but i dont suppose i'd have a problem with it..
i guess it just depends on the people in the relationship??

There is a single guy that lives across the street from me and is the same age I am. He owns his home, a Vette, motorcycle and brand new Avalanch. Goes out drinking when ever he wants and by all accounts would seem to be in hawg heaven. Except he's not. He tells me everytime I see him how he wishs he had the wife and kid. His life sounds cool at 22, but at 35+; that's not cool. That's pathetic. Most of the good women are gone, married or have a ton of baggage. Dates are far and few between for him. He spends most of his time drunk and washing his toys alone.

I'm not saying get married for marryings sake. Be in love; just try to find love before you dry up. Nothing worse than an older guy walking into the "hot spot" in town. Makes them look like perverts.

 

[KBEKQT]

the verbal abuse is the worst. some woman would rather be beaten once than be verbally abused all day.

A black eye will go away, but verbal abuse will scar for life. It takes away your selfworth if you are not strong enough or don't have self confidence or makes you build walls as defense mechanism and ruins it for the next guy because you'll never allow yourself to fully open up to someone else.

some people think it is so easy, they always have an answer. I like your response to this persons post

Some people think they have all the answers and all the wisdom in the world, but lack the maturity to fully understand, judge without knowing the whole thruth or don't have enough experience to validate their point of view.

KBEKQT I admire your courage and responding to this post. the thing I commend you for is you got out. most woman don’t get out. they keep getting walked on and it only gets worse.

Thank so much for the support, Bigmann. Making the decision was extremely difficult for me, failure is never an option for me so I was torn for a long time, and tried my hardest to make it work. Reading Superdick...hum...Dave's post really pissed me off. Took it personal and had to fire back. ( I have red hair, can you tell? )

 

[-SD-]

You are not living my life, Jack, so STFU.

When your sig other start spending more time holding their GD 12 oz than your hand and is quick to let you know that every FN thing you do in your life is wrong, come back to me and we'll talk. And I'm not gonna give you the pleasure of knowing a whole lot more crap that is too degrading to post up.

Thats not growing apart, thats called "alcoholism". Probably contributes to why he criticizes you also. Sorry either way.