JKurz's Log "Mirrors are all hidden"!

[ProtienFiend]

I WAS TESTED Awhile back..u know this....you want the truth? My hard ons SUCK....I go limp sometimes...sure I love attracted women, but I havent had a gf since I broke up with my last one 7 months ago....I dont think about sex often, and the worst part????

This can be stress, poor nutrition, or psychological... amoung other things.

 

[ProtienFiend]

When I do a small cycle , say for 10 weeks, pct, rest then tested by doc...what should I do?

300mg test/wk and 400mg eq divided into 2 doses a week....what about prop at 100mg then three days later cyp at 200mg...300mg a week....

You have no business doing a cycle now because youll crash and be worse off then where you started. You really need to all out bulk and get FAT!!! You can always diet it off especially if you are as ecto as you say.

 

[Tweakle]

I think a gram of test and some Abombs would be just what you need right now.

Maybe stressing a little less over things might help too

 

[Madcow2]

I still think there's something wrong with your reasoning, JK. You've admitted you're not following your diet plan correctly. I'm not seeing how the logic flows directly to 'begin cycle' instead of 'work on eating habits'.
Though I've posted for holding off, I'm not against a basic test cycle. I agree it could be useful in terms of libido, fat storage, and appetite. What I think is wrong, though, is ignoring the basic problem. Everyone knows diet is a major cornerstone of progress, moreso than aas. Everyone who's spent an amount of time here at EF knows that if your diet is wrong, your cycle will be wrong. Before you start, make the commitment to common sense and get first things first.

This is basically the classic distraction to avoid confronting the core issue. We all do this in life. It's actually where just about every bad issue and habit comes from. Chronic overeaters feed themselves to feel better and not think about their problems. Alcohol, drugs, just about everything - even keeping the house clean. The problem is that you can run and you can plug your ears and go 'lalalal' as loud as you can in the process, but eventually no matter how far you run and for how long you can't get away from it. You are running from yourself and eventually, you just need to stop running and playing games, sit down, get calm, center yourself, take an objective look and deal with it. Maybe you have to do that every day, multiple times a day so you don't listen to your head/mind games and you do what you are supposed to be doing (deliberate actions, not being controlled by random drifty thought). It's not like the problem is going anywhere. You'll have to face it sometime. So you can run, or you can turn, stand your ground, and fight. Now or later, you'll have to fight sometime anyway. You might get beat down a bit from time to time, but get back up and keep swinging. Maybe get counceling or help to see it more clearly or advice on tackling this particular issue.

 

[carlsuen]

One Of The Best Post Ever In The World!!

 

[anotherbutters]

Exactly. Very well put madcow. JK, if you want concensus on things, I back every letter of what madcow just said. Read it and re-read it, then read it again. I think he's articulated what all of us were thinking but didn't put down in words.

 

[blut wump]

I just read through pretty much all of this thread. First of all congratulations on your progress. You seem to have made some solid steps forward in a reasonably short time.

Just stop beating yourself up and embrace your goals. Time and again I see comments along the lines of "I know I'm being crazy but...". Just drop the 'but' and accept that you know that sometimes your actions are not in your own best interests. When you catch yourself acting against your own best interests just ask yourself the simple question of whether you want to move forwards or go backwards. If you decide that you'd prefer to move backwards then continue with your action. Learn to catch your bad moments and see them for what they are.

Regarding the aas cycle, you've spent a couple of weeks deciding not to run a cycle while filling your drawer with gear. Give the plan a chance to work before picking holes in it and jumping onto another plan. What are you going to do when you're two weeks into your cycle and the gains haven't begun? Stop jumping around from plan to plan and see this exercise and diet part of your self-improvement through to a reasonable conclusion.

 

[silver_shadow]

JK, let me put it this way - you have low test right now due to so many possible reasons, not the least of which is overtraining and undereating for years. if you jump on the AAS bandwagon now, that is going to be a temporary fix. lets assume you do go this way - you will then maybe gain 10-12 quality lbs of muscle. very good. now you come off. you are going to crash in a HUGE way in all probability. what happens then? answer - you will likely lose everything you gained. PLUS your endo test levels might well be at a new low, with possibly greater HPTA shutdown then ever before. now what are you going to do? you're already quite depressed in general - you're going to get more depressed and get back on cycle sooner rather then later. see what i'm getting at - your quick fix is going to set you back even further and you will be dependent on AAS.

the position you have put yourself in there are 3 options:
1) do nothing - ie give up bodybuilding altogether... i know you're not going to do that. so it will definitely be either:
2) the quick fix - AAS. OR
3) be strong willed and fight it out - some things in life DO NOT come easy and in this case you know what it is. there's no escaping that this is the only way to do it.

so the choice is your's - i hope you make a wise informed decision

 

[JKurz1]

Thanks for all the support and posts...I am not running from the problem, I am attempting to conquer it....I know my test levels right now are nil. So the best scenerio would be to run a pct and see where I stand. My other option is to run a small cycle with a proper pct and then get tested. Trust me, Im not looking for a temp. fix but a perm one. One that will allow me to eat, train and be happy.

I think overall, a SMALL test cycle will allow me to eat the calories required without the fear of geting too fat. I know my low test and this amount of cals will lead to nothing but fat gain with a minimal amount of mass. Sort of like a woman. They dont have nearly as much test as we are suppose to and therefor cant gain mass. I am in the same ballpark right now. SO what I am going to do is run a small cycle followed by a very on point pct and hope that I restart natty. Then get tested. If everything is up to par, I will promise to never touch gear again. If I make that promise, will u guys support it? COuld you tell me your thoughts on the best possible and safest way to cycle it for 10 weeks followed my a good pct.

300mg test split between prop and cyp
400mg eq/ week 10 weeks

hcg, clomid and nola on hand. Thanks bros....

 

[anotherbutters]

Un-fucking-believable.

Get yourself tested, then you know where you stand right now, not where you stood a year ago. Keep eating. Keep training.