JKurz's Log "Mirrors are all hidden"!

[JKurz1]

Whelp, just for kicks, I weighed in today...won't do it again for a week, but just wanted to see where I was and average it out. Down another pound. SImply put, I am not eating the foods I should be as constructed by my guru. I was up a solid 9-10lbs and now am rapidly decreasing. So, at 6'2, 170 I've decided that I am going to either run a good mild cycle of 300mg cyp and 400mg of eq or just the old fashion 200mg hrt dose till I blow out the two botlles I have. Then, I am going to do a pct of prov, clomid, hcg and nolva. THEN, I am going to stay clean and get rechecked by my doc. I know I am low, very low. This is causing me to not eat what I should because I know that having low testosterone levels leads to sub. fat storage and is very discouraging. This will allow me to hopefully pack on 20lbs thats my goal, to get my energy and life back. And allow my mind to settle knowing that I have enough test running through me to make serious gains as long as I eat my ass off. I know I can eat the 4,000+ CALS IF I am confidedent my levels are up to snuff. Muscle memory will come back and I should feel good. Will you guys support one of my decisions? I am praying the pct will restart me and I'll be good to go....breaking my training and eating probs.....guys? Shawdow? Last time.....will u support this decision or am I ruining my life? If you say the latter, I will in fact wait......but I just wont bulk with as many cals......my training has been intense and awesome and so has my diet for the most part....I just need to get those extra meals in and settle my mind......please?

 

[BiggT]

JK, you answered your own question. It is in your mind. You "know your levels are low"....how? Did you draw blood and analyze it?

The point is that you're mind fucking yourself.....eat the 4200 cals and continue improving in the gym, don't worry about carbs on off days and steroid cycles and HRT and PCT or any of that crap....if you are dying to, go to the doc and get your hormone levels tested, it probably isn't as bad as you think. Lets play the common sense game.....Can you still have a hard-on? Do you take notice of attractive women and sometimes have not so pure thoughts about them? lol....if the anwers to these 2 questions are 'yes' then your body is certainly producing testosterone, so chill out.

 

[JKurz1]

JK, you answered your own question. It is in your mind. You "know your levels are low"....how? Did you draw blood and analyze it?

The point is that you're mind fucking yourself.....eat the 4200 cals and continue improving in the gym, don't worry about carbs on off days and steroid cycles and HRT and PCT or any of that crap....if you are dying to, go to the doc and get your hormone levels tested, it probably isn't as bad as you think. Lets play the common sense game.....Can you still have a hard-on? Do you take notice of attractive women and sometimes have not so pure thoughts about them? lol....if the anwers to these 2 questions are 'yes' then your body is certainly producing testosterone, so chill out.

I WAS TESTED Awhile back..u know this....you want the truth? My hard ons SUCK....I go limp sometimes...sure I love attracted women, but I havent had a gf since I broke up with my last one 7 months ago....I dont think about sex often, and the worst part??? I have absolutely no sperm during ejaculation...Im not mind fing myself bro....I think we botrh can agree I need this to get on the ball.....thoughts?

 

[BiggT]

Sorry to undermine the situation, JK.....How long ago were you tested? Do you notice any improvements since you started eating better?

I'll bump for Shadow.....

 

[JKurz1]

no prob...test a year ago, but nothing has changed except my weight dropped....I gained a few lbs on the new diet, then people started to wo me with the low test = fat ain thing....so now my weight is going down again....I just need the boost...I think it can only have positive effects!

 

[JKurz1]

sHADOW?

 

[The Shadow]

Sorry to undermine the situation, JK.....How long ago were you tested? Do you notice any improvements since you started eating better?

I'll bump for Shadow.....

I think ultimately K will do what he wants to do.

You might as well hit a moderate cycle

 

[fortunatesun]

I still think there's something wrong with your reasoning, JK. You've admitted you're not following your diet plan correctly. I'm not seeing how the logic flows directly to 'begin cycle' instead of 'work on eating habits'.
Though I've posted for holding off, I'm not against a basic test cycle. I agree it could be useful in terms of libido, fat storage, and appetite. What I think is wrong, though, is ignoring the basic problem. Everyone knows diet is a major cornerstone of progress, moreso than aas. Everyone who's spent an amount of time here at EF knows that if your diet is wrong, your cycle will be wrong. Before you start, make the commitment to common sense and get first things first.

 

[JKurz1]

my diet is right...my diet is well constrcted and I was being stupid/irrational. Think of it as 4,000 cals and someone like me gets weary...think of the oavg. fat sedetary person, they have no idea what they eat and I'm sure it's close and a bunch of shit...my diet is 99% clean...how can it be detremental? I may swing a small test cycle if I can stay on this diet to a tee for awhile FIRST....I gained a good 3lbs the first week then started reading shit about fat storage and low test...that is what brought me down....I may have an eating disorder....but I never had one till I started reading these f-ing boards. This truly is the only board where I know I will get support and very good knowledge...the other ones (nameless) I visit for reads give me different answers for the same question. Another reason why I have a tendency to ask a ? over and over...I want a consensus...thnx boys...Im back on track...just as long as I get my fing kitchen sink clogg fixed...please dont cost a fortunre! lol

When I do a small cycle , say for 10 weeks, pct, rest then tested by doc...what should I do?

300mg test/wk and 400mg eq divided into 2 doses a week....what about prop at 100mg then three days later cyp at 200mg...300mg a week....

 

[fortunatesun]

OK- all I'm saying is eating takes a great deal of dedication. You don't skip leg day, back day, cardio, etc. Eating everything you're supposed to is just as important. Show some steel and pound down your food like you mean it.