jealousy about girlfriends ex

[rush74]

I know its very common for guys to be jealous and possesive
about a girl they are going out with and serious about. But I
have this strange obsessive jealousy about my current girlfriend
ex boyfriends BEFORE she met me. I know the past is the past
etc but I found some pictures and letters about their sex life
in explicit detail and I told her about them and I just cant get
it out of my head. I know some will think its pathetic to dwell
on the past and it was before she met etc. but I just cant
get it out of my head. Anyone else like this?

 

[nimbus]

how big is his cawk

 

[heatherrae]

God, that is the most annoying thing ever! Every bf I ever have gets all crazy jealous like that and ruins the relationship. Plus, let's admit it. You didn't just FIND the letters. You were snooping through her stuff, weren't you? Fuck, I probably would have already dumped you over it. I'm so sick of men like this.

Get therapy and don't bring your obsessive thoughts up to your girl. You WILL drive her away.

 

[ortiz34]

Relationship over in 3..2...1..

 

[nimbus]

also, pics or stfu

 

[ponyfitness]

You should type the contents of the letters in here so that we can all wank to them.

Seriously you need to get over it - she's not with them anymore for a reason. And if she does stuff with them that she doesn't do with you in bed it's probably because you suck at it.

 

[jerkbox]

yeah....probably best not to go looking for shit that you don't want to find.....good luck getting that out of your head.

 

[jack sparrow]

Just remember...just about every girl you meet has already had a mile of cawk run through her. Get used to it.

 

[gonelifting]

OK When I got serious with my woman, I threw out all that stuff from other girls. If she's keeping stuff like love letters, I don't think she's truly into this relationship. Thinking about the past is one thing, but keeping letters about sex and stuff... wtf? Is she 100% with YOU now or what?

I disagree twice today with Heather. lol OMG A record!






Oh, #1 was I like the no ass vs the fat ass.

 

[calveless wonder]

she probably shouldn't have been keeping that shit to begin with...especially if it was sexual. love letters...an email, fine...in privacy. But explicit sexual shit?? That has no place in a relationship from the past. Personally, i get rid of all my shit from ex's...including pictures. it has no place in my life.

but yeah, snooping through her shit like that is only doing YOU harm.

I had that problem for awhile, but it was ONLY when me and my girlfriend at the time weren't having sex for a while due to alot of reasons (i.e. her sex drive was non existent). I did the snooping thing and it seriously damaged our relationship....however, it was a warning sign becasue the things i found were NOT acceptable at all. This may be the case with you

people in relationships can have this fucked morbid thinking....it happens bro. but you have to gain control over your thoughts and not make her the center of your universe.

it's your issue and your issue only.

you fucked alot of girls in the past right? DO you think she's obsessing about every vagina you've ever been in? Probably not........

You weren't in the picture at all, so you're suffering over something you can't control

you more you hold onto something the more likely you will lose it. live and die by those words in everything you do and you'll see

 

[velvett]

Did you snoop to find this information?

Is so, then it's what led you to feel the need to do that is what you need be looking at.

Clearly there's no trust in this relationship and without trust you don't have a relationship.

 

[javaguru]

God, that is the most annoying thing ever! Every bf I ever have gets all crazy jealous like that and ruins the relationship. Plus, let's admit it. You didn't just FIND the letters. You were snooping through her stuff, weren't you? Fuck, I probably would have already dumped you over it. I'm so sick of men like this.

Get therapy and don't bring your obsessive thoughts up to your girl. You WILL drive her away.

Don't ask or try to find out information you don't really want to know. My ex-wife was jealous about girls I dated in high school and was always asking me about my number of sex partners. I finally told her the number when we were getting the divorce, she was pissed.

 

[Gambino]

God, that is the most annoying thing ever! Every bf I ever have gets all crazy jealous like that and ruins the relationship. Plus, let's admit it. You didn't just FIND the letters. You were snooping through her stuff, weren't you? Fuck, I probably would have already dumped you over it. I'm so sick of men like this.

Get therapy and don't bring your obsessive thoughts up to your girl. You WILL drive her away.

fuck that, you don't tell the other side of the story, which is that she proly still want's her ex's cack and is using the current for revenge or ego.
same shit happened to me, all you assholes said
"you're just being insecure, etc"

 

[jack sparrow]

I'll never understand this "jealousy of a girls ex" phenomenon. I mean, your fucking kidding me, right?

Think about this logically people...wtf? What does it really matter?

 

[calveless wonder]

I'll never understand this "jealousy of a girls ex" phenomenon. I mean, your fucking kidding me, right?

Think about this logically people...wtf? What does it really matter?

that's the thing..it's NOT logical, it's emotional. It's almost always usually a feeling of inadequacy or an issue of trust. or sometimes both

it's pretty common when you're young. as you get older, it's something you get over.

 

[jh1]

that's the thing..it's NOT logical, it's emotional. It's almost always usually a feeling of inadequacy or an issue of trust. or sometimes both

it's pretty common when you're young. as you get older, it's something you get over.

FUck you and your streak of beating me to it lateley....

I posted almost this same shit and had to edit it.

 

[the_clockwork]

yeah....probably best not to go looking for shit that you don't want to find.....good luck getting that out of your head.

no fucking shit.. don't pry in her past personal life. I'm sure there are some things in your life she doesn't want to know and that's for a good reason. I never ask girls about their sexual past for a certain reason, it doesn't matter, unless they have crabs or aids..

like jerkbox said, good luck getting that outta your head.. might as well break up with her and start fresh with a new girl

 

[AAP]

Sounds like she was pre-cheating on you before you even met her.

I'd dump her.

 

[hawaiianflash]

Grow a pair of balls and stop having such low self esteem. Who cares who she dated before you?


-flash

 

[javaguru]

Did you snoop to find this information?

Is so, then it's what led you to feel the need to do that is what you need be looking at.

Clearly there's no trust in this relationship and without trust you don't have a relationship.

She's been cheating on him for years before they met....

 

[AAP]

Maybe the girl isn't over the other guy(s) yet.

Maybe the sex was so fantastic, she holds onto those letters as a reminder of the good times (and orgasms) of the past.

Maybe it is a sentimental thing.

When someone doesn't have a lot of happiness in their life, they tend to hold onto to things that remind them fleeting moments of (whatever passes for them) happiness.

 

[Sub-Zero]

I know its very common for guys to be jealous and possesive
about a girl they are going out with and serious about. But I
have this strange obsessive jealousy about my current girlfriend
ex boyfriends BEFORE she met me. I know the past is the past
etc but I found some pictures and letters about their sex life
in explicit detail and I told her about them and I just cant get
it out of my head. I know some will think its pathetic to dwell
on the past and it was before she met etc. but I just cant
get it out of my head. Anyone else like this?

if u cant get it out of ur head then dont be with her. either way ur doomed may as well end it early.

if u can get it out of ur head then do it already and dont care, but doesnt sound like ur about to do that.

is it stuff that she wont do with u? if so make her do it, that bitch

 

[AAP]

The only solution - obviously - is to kill her.

Or at least slap her around a little bit.


Or do like (who was it) show up at the ex's house dressed all in black commando style and throw a fireplace log through his window.

(who the hell did that stunt again?)

 

[jnevin]

Just remember...just about every girl you meet has already had a mile of cawk run through her. Get used to it.

lol

Says the guy dating the Lincoln Tunnel.


Oh my gawd! I'm so funny!!!

 

[Wulfgar]

I just let the girl I am dating have sex with other people, prefereably while I watch. Then I dont have to worry about if she is screwing other dudes because i already know she is.
I figure it eliminates the need for cheating.

 

[Sub-Zero]

OK When I got serious with my woman, I threw out all that stuff from other girls. If she's keeping stuff like love letters, I don't think she's truly into this relationship. Thinking about the past is one thing, but keeping letters about sex and stuff... wtf? Is she 100% with YOU now or what?

I disagree twice today with Heather. lol OMG A record!






Oh, #1 was I like the no ass vs the fat ass.

good point

 

[jack sparrow]

lol

Says the guy dating the Lincoln Tunnel.


Oh my gawd! I'm so funny!!!

Those dudes were just stepping stones. This needed to happen.

 

[Sub-Zero]

fuck that, you don't tell the other side of the story, which is that she proly still want's her ex's cack and is using the current for revenge or ego.
same shit happened to me, all you assholes said
"you're just being insecure, etc"

true, trying to bash down his self esteem so she can run him, thinks its what she wants, a subservient spirit crushed guy to buy her shit, but then she will not be attracted to him after that and leave him...so really shes the one wrecking the relationship.

fuggin hoars

 

[jnevin]

Those were just stepping stones. This needed to happen.

It does crack me up when my friends that go out and honestly fuhk a different girl a week get put off when the girl they actually date admitts to being with a few different guys. I never wanted to hear about exes, but no shit they exist.

 

[jack sparrow]

Yep. Some people are way too emotional about it too.

 

[mikeflcn]

I agree sounds like a whore....So treat her like one...Donkey Punch maybe??? I didn't read all... so have you been dating this closet sex freak for at least a week?

 

[AAP]

does she read the letters on occassion?

 

[jack sparrow]

I don't understand why a girl is a whore because she kept stuff of her ex boyfriend or has/has had multiple partners. Girls like to fuck too...it ain't just us dudes.

 

[Sub-Zero]

I don't understand why a girl is a whore because she kept stuff of her ex boyfriend or has/has had multiple partners. Girls like to fuck too...it ain't just us dudes.

when you care about someone you try and make them not feel like shit, not strategically place old ex-letters so they find it and feel inadequate like shes thinking of old guy not new guy

 

[jack sparrow]

when you care about someone you try and make them not feel like shit, not strategically place old ex-letters so they find it and feel inadequate like shes thinking of old guy not new guy

Weather or not the letters/photos/stained boxers and multiple latex duplicates of his manhood were strategically planted or not, think about the word "care" and what that's truly supposed to mean.

When someone "cares"...things like this are a non issue.

 

[Wulfgar]

everybody should just fuck everybody and not give a shit about anything

 

[Sub-Zero]

Weather or not the letters/photos/stained boxers and multiple latex duplicates of his manhood were strategically planted or not, think about the word "care" and what that's truly supposed to mean.

When someone "cares"...things like this are a non issue.

agreed, which is why if hes feeling insecure like that either him or her is fucking up and their relationship is doomed

 

[Nathan]

OK When I got serious with my woman, I threw out all that stuff from other girls. If she's keeping stuff like love letters, I don't think she's truly into this relationship. Thinking about the past is one thing, but keeping letters about sex and stuff... wtf? Is she 100% with YOU now or what?

I disagree twice today with Heather. lol OMG A record!






Oh, #1 was I like the no ass vs the fat ass.

Good answer. I agree, you've got to get over it. But I also think some girls are fucking bad with this shit and really make it very hard on the guy. Sometimes it makes me feel detached and like I'd be happier going off and finding something else - like the person I am with is not really with me and I just havent' foudn what I am looking for yet. It's a psychology issue and I'm sorry but if a relationship falls apart because of something like this, often both parties are to blame.

If the mental imagery of someone you care about beign with another person continually pops up, for whatever reason, that's a pretty big fucking problem for a relationship. For whatever reason it is there, I'd say it is both parties' responsibilities to try to prevent such crap from happening. And if it does, deal with it right away, confront it, talk about it and move on.

I know I have a tendency to let it get to me a lot easier than most girls I've dated do, but some of them handled it so fucking badly I lost interest.

 

[NJjuice22]

its more common then you think. Remember everyone on Elitefitness deadlifts 500lbs and is 100% mentally stable. So dont expect understanding here. Your a little insecure, its normal. obsessing about it however is unhealthy.

 

[mikeflcn]

she keeps them to masturbate too.....

 

[heatherrae]

fuck that, you don't tell the other side of the story, which is that she proly still want's her ex's cack and is using the current for revenge or ego.
same shit happened to me, all you assholes said
"you're just being insecure, etc"

If she wanted the other guy's dick, she would go get it. 99% of men have NO PROBLEM giving an ex sex.

If someone is so insecure that their girl or guy can't keep old love letters and mementos from the past, I don't want em.

I kept a whole box of stuff from when my husband and I were together. I still have them. He was special and it was good memories. I don't want him back, but why should I throw out all the mementos of my life over a guy, especially if they aren't even my hubbie yet? Men come and go, but you can't recreate those mementos.

 

[cindylou]

Dont worry too much.

Just because she keeps the pics and stuff does has nothing to do with you.


She will eventually throw them away.


I have not read this thread so I have no idea if this is where the thread is going or not lol

 

[heatherrae]

I don't understand why a girl is a whore because she kept stuff of her ex boyfriend or has/has had multiple partners. Girls like to fuck too...it ain't just us dudes.

true

 

[Gambino]

If she wanted the other guy's dick, she would go get it. 99% of men have NO PROBLEM giving an ex sex.

If someone is so insecure that their girl or guy can't keep old love letters and mementos from the past, I don't want em.

I kept a whole box of stuff from when my husband and I were together. I still have them. He was special and it was good memories. I don't want him back, but why should I throw out all the mementos of my life over a guy, especially if they aren't even my hubbie yet? Men come and go, but you can't recreate those mementos.

true, i've kept a few momentos from the past
but their is a fine line there...my ex gf crossed it

 

[heatherrae]

true, i've kept a few momentos from the past
but their is a fine line there...my ex gf crossed it

I had an ex bf who wanted me to throw out the few wedding photos that I still had. WTF? He really needed to get over it. We broke up anyway (not over that). So, imagine if I threw out my memories with my ex-hubbie whom I still love and respect over someone to whom I'll never even speak again.

 

[jh1]

I keep videos of sexual conquests and panties of hawt chics I banged.

Along with photos and shit.

Do you think that will be an issue?

 

[Gambino]

I had an ex bf who wanted me to throw out the few wedding photos that I still had. WTF? He really needed to get over it. We broke up anyway (not over that). So, imagine if I threw out my memories with my ex-hubbie whom I still love and respect over someone to whom I'll never even speak again.

the examples you are giving are completely legit...that dude was certainly a tool.
but that's not what i'm talking about...more racy stuff.
like for instance, in my situation, my gal kept a box of stuff from her ex
she said she loved me, over him, etc...but he would call occasionaly and it made me curious...so i checked the box out
one item was a hand written ticket for a few "sponge bath" redeemable at any time
of course it wasn't long before i found out she had been boning this jabroni on the side and it didn't surprize me at all

 

[heatherrae]

the examples you are giving are completely legit...that dude was certainly a tool.
but that's not what i'm talking about...more racy stuff.
like for instance, in my situation, my gal kept a box of stuff from her ex
she said she loved me, over him, etc...but he would call occasionaly and it made me curious...so i checked the box out
one item was a hand written ticket for a few "sponge bath" redeemable at any time
of course it wasn't long before i found out she had been boning this jabroni on the side and it didn't surprize me at all

It wouldn't have been the love coupons or the mementos that would have bothered me. It would have been the returned phone calls that pointed to a problem. My dumb ass ex-bf had some bitch sending him anonymous birthday cards going on about how much she loved and missed him and signed them "Me." Stupid bitch can have his sorry ass...lol. I'm done with him.

 

[hanselthecaretaker]

fuck that, you don't tell the other side of the story, which is that she proly still want's her ex's cack and is using the current for revenge or ego.
same shit happened to me, all you assholes said
"you're just being insecure, etc"

Yeah this is one thing that pisses me off too, people putting words into the mouths of someone/something they don't understand. But in one way it's also kinda like the chicken or the egg debate.....did your insecurity cause her to cheat or did your cause for concern pre empt any infidelity on her part with you?

This is what I had a problem with when things went bad with my ex....she started acting cold and bitter, so I thought it was because of something I did (which was bad, happened at a bar and I was dragged into it, but still I felt responsible like I could have took action sooner....basically we went to a bar to meet friends and this chic I never saw before was with our mutual friends...they were hounding me to dance with her since it was her birthday so I said fine whatever, she's drunk and this is stupid so it won't mean anything. Well next thing I know she's fucking telling me I'll be getting laid if I stick with her that night. I'm thinking you drunk slut then tell her I have a girlfriend! Then I just basically shut down (first mistake) and thought about fucked up this whole thing was while waiting for this girl to get tired of me. Soon after she's pushing me against the wall and groping me, taking my beanie off my head. I didn't want to make an even bigger scene because I know that's what would've happened because I was dealing with a stupid drunk slut, so I rode it out through a couple club songs til there was a slow dance, figuring then would be an easy, trouble free exit. Well one of our female friends jumped in and "saved" me. I felt shitty pretty much from then on, especially after I found out how much it bothered my now ex. I didn't think she'd take it that personally because she knew that drunk chic already and I thought she understood the situation the way I did, but nope).

Things pretty much took a nosedive from there because of this. She said there were other reasons too but I figured this was more or less the straw that broke the camel's back. A few weeks later she said she wanted to not have a boyfriend anymore but still wanted to see me. I didn't understand the point in this really, and this was where I thought there was a good chance she was getting some from another guy. I almost was to the point of driving to her place to catch her in the act, but fortunately I didn't turn into a completely undignified bitch. I finally told her of my suspicions and she was taken aback by it, and later that it bothered her all weekend. The last thing she said to me was to stop talking to her for a while.

After 3 or so months still at this point I'd rather be alone than deal with relationship drama. I realize more and more that no matter how mature you think you are, you can always do better.

 

[katdav]

Yeah this is one thing that pisses me off too. But in one way it's also kinda like the chicken or the egg debate.....did you insecurity cause her to cheat or did your cause for concern pre empt any infidelity on her part with you?

This is what I had a problem with when things went bad with my ex....she started acting cold and bitter, so I thought it was because of something I did (which was bad, happened at a bar and I was dragged into it, but still I felt responsible like I could have took action sooner....basically we went to a bar to meet friends and this chic I never saw before was with our mutual friends...they were hounding me to dance with her since it was her birthday so I said fine whatever, she's drunk and this is stupid so it won't mean anything. Well next thing I know she's fucking telling me I'll be getting laid if I stick with her that night. I'm thinking you drunk slut then tell her I have a girlfriend! Then I just basically shut down (first mistake) and thought about fucked up this whole thing was while waiting for this girl to get tired of me. Soon after she's pushing me against the wall and groping me, taking my beanie off my head. I didn't want to make an even bigger scene because I know that's what would've happened because I was dealing with a stupid drunk slut, so I rode it out through a couple club songs til there was a slow dance, figuring then would be an easy, trouble free exit. Well one of our female friends jumped in and "saved" me. I felt shitty pretty much from then on, especially after I found out how much it bothered my now ex. I didn't think she'd take it that personally because she knew that drunk chic already and I thought she understood the situation the way I did, but nope.
Things pretty much took a nosedive from there because of this. She said there were other reasons too but I figured this was more or less the straw that broke the camel's back. A few weeks later she said she wanted to not have a boyfriend anymore but still wanted to see me. I didn't understand the point in this really, and this was where I thought there was a good chance she was getting some from another guy. I almost was to the point of driving to her place to catch her in the act, but fortunately I didn't turn into a completely undignified bitch. I finally told her of my suspicions and she was taken aback by it, and later that it bothered her all weekend. The last thing she said to me was to stop talking to her for a while.

After 3 or so months still at this point I'd rather be alone than deal with relationship drama. I realize more and more that no matter how mature you think you are, you can always do better.

So let me get this straight...you let some drunk chick, grind on you, 'molest' you on a public dance floor thru 3 songs with your girlfriend watching...and the best response you could think of was to "shut down"?????

 

[Sub-Zero]

its more common then you think. Remember everyone on Elitefitness deadlifts 500lbs and is 100% mentally stable. So dont expect understanding here. Your a little insecure, its normal. obsessing about it however is unhealthy.

i deadlift almost 500 lbs, when i get to 500 lbs do i automatically become mentally stable?

 

[Sub-Zero]

I had an ex bf who wanted me to throw out the few wedding photos that I still had. WTF? He really needed to get over it. We broke up anyway (not over that). So, imagine if I threw out my memories with my ex-hubbie whom I still love and respect over someone to whom I'll never even speak again.

you still love and respect your ex hubbie? that means you fucked up then probably.

so what did you do to fuck up your marriage? i highly doubt he still loves and respects you.

 

[Sub-Zero]

It wouldn't have been the love coupons or the mementos that would have bothered me. It would have been the returned phone calls that pointed to a problem. My dumb ass ex-bf had some bitch sending him anonymous birthday cards going on about how much she loved and missed him and signed them "Me." Stupid bitch can have his sorry ass...lol. I'm done with him.

so you can keep sexual letters from an ex but arnt allowed to talk to them?

heather im gunna try and be nice here, but i STRONGLY STRONGLY STRONGLY, disagree with you, and think your a hypocrite, about this particular issue, and most issues dealing with opposite sex relations

 

[Sub-Zero]

So let me get this straight...you let some drunk chick, grind on you, 'molest' you on a public dance floor thru 3 songs with your girlfriend watching...and the best response you could think of was to "shut down"?????

do you dance with other guys in bars or just your mega man or whatever you call him?

if the you only dance with your mega man, then i excuse you, but if you dance with other people in bars, and smash your ass up against their cocks and grind on them and such, then shame on you.

also, didnt you try and go for glasses of wine with your ex, or was it just coffee?

 

[calveless wonder]

do you dance with other guys in bars or just your mega man or whatever you call him?

if the you only dance with your mega man, then i excuse you, but if you dance with other people in bars, and smash your ass up against their cocks and grind on them and such, then shame on you.

also, didnt you try and go for glasses of wine with your ex, or was it just coffee?

http://big-rudy.seesaa.net/image/Megaman04.jpg

is this him?

 

[heatherrae]

so you can keep sexual letters from an ex but arnt allowed to talk to them?

heather im gunna try and be nice here, but i STRONGLY STRONGLY STRONGLY, disagree with you, and think your a hypocrite, about this particular issue, and most issues dealing with opposite sex relations

I didn't keep anything sexual. I kept our playbills from theater and musicals, tickets, love letters, pictures, tickets, matchbooks from vacations, etc. He was my husband and these were very special to me.

I don't care if a bf keeps his old pictures and stuff. So, i'm not being hypocritical. The difference is that she was sending my bf stuff WHILE WE WERE TOGETHER. It wasn't stuff from the past. Plus, that isn't the reason why I broke up with him, but in hindsight I should have, because it turned out that he WAS A CHEATER. I actually got mad at her, not him.

And to answer your question about me screwing up with my ex-hubbie, sure I did. Not in the way that you are insinuating, though. He and I didn't not divorce because either of us were unfaithful, and, yes, he still loves and respects me. We are still friends and always will have kind things to say to each other and about each other.

 

[Sub-Zero]

http://big-rudy.seesaa.net/image/Megaman04.jpg

is this him?

maybe hes too gay and thats why she wanted to stay friends with her ex?

 

[katdav]

do you dance with other guys in bars or just your mega man or whatever you call him?

if the you only dance with your mega man, then i excuse you, but if you dance with other people in bars, and smash your ass up against their cocks and grind on them and such, then shame on you.

also, didnt you try and go for glasses of wine with your ex, or was it just coffee?

Damn, you have a good memory!

I have not danced with any other men since I met the King.

 

[puddlemonkey]

Ok, out of boredom I'm going to read all 3 pages, brb with my response...

 

[katdav]

maybe hes too gay and thats why she wanted to stay friends with her ex?

I'm retarded...thats why I wanted to stay friends.

 

[Sub-Zero]

And to answer your question about me screwing up with my ex-hubbie, sure I did. Not in the way that you are insinuating, though. He and I didn't not divorce because either of us were unfaithful, and, yes, he still loves and respects me. We are still friends and always will have kind things to say to each other and about each other.

the reason is very important on whether or not i take the rest of your posts in this thread seriously or not.

im actually being serious, not trying to attack you, but guys and girls (yours and mine especially) opinions when it comes to these things are very different, and IMO if you fuck up once, its "in your blood" so to speak, and all other actions (such as keeping old momentos) are taken as a sign, not as something harmless.

people are your ex's for a reason, but they were also your bf/gf for a reason...very strong attraction. were all human and all tempted, so why keep momentos around thats going to keep temptation fresh?

 

[Sub-Zero]

I'm retarded...thats why I wanted to stay friends.

sorry im out of karma for today. this was a very h onest post, and i agree, but weve all been retarded at some time...and its cool of you to be able to admit it, unlike most women (cough =heatherrae= cough)

 

[heatherrae]

the reason is very important on whether or not i take the rest of your posts in this thread seriously or not.

im actually being serious, not trying to attack you, but guys and girls (yours and mine especially) opinions when it comes to these things are very different, and IMO if you fuck up once, its "in your blood" so to speak, and all other actions (such as keeping old momentos) are taken as a sign, not as something harmless.

people are your ex's for a reason, but they were also your bf/gf for a reason...very strong attraction. were all human and all tempted, so why keep momentos around thats going to keep temptation fresh?

Well, why we broke up was complicated. There were financial stresses because he lost his income for abouth a year and then worked for a company that stiffed him out of his pay and then went out of business. I was working 60-80 hours a week as a brand new attorney, etc. We both made mistakes and sort of grew apart. I wanted to work on it. He wanted to divorce. We may have gotten back together, but then he got transferred to Wisconsin.

It wasn't a simple matter of either of us being obviously terrible to the other one.

We still love each other as friends, and if I ever marry again I would like to have someone as good and kind as he is. Overall, he probably wasn't my exact perfect match, and I wasn't his.

 

[covergrl80]

Don't snoop!!!! If you have to snoop then obviously you don't have any trust in your relationship. So the question is why are you this relationship....

 

[puddlemonkey]

God, that is the most annoying thing ever! Every bf I ever have gets all crazy jealous like that and ruins the relationship.

I have the opposite problem, I'm not attentive enough apparently. I've had many ex's deliberately try to make me jealous to see if I care, and when it doesn't work (because I don't care) they get all upset. Of course I probably wouldn't have to deal with these stupid games if I'd stop dating girls 10 years younger than myself.

 

[heatherrae]

the reason is very important on whether or not i take the rest of your posts in this thread seriously or not.

im actually being serious, not trying to attack you, but guys and girls (yours and mine especially) opinions when it comes to these things are very different, and IMO if you fuck up once, its "in your blood" so to speak, and all other actions (such as keeping old momentos) are taken as a sign, not as something harmless.

people are your ex's for a reason, but they were also your bf/gf for a reason...very strong attraction. were all human and all tempted, so why keep momentos around thats going to keep temptation fresh?

and the mementos that I am talking about were from my relationship WITH MY EX-HUBBIE, not from another relationship. I think you got what I was saying confused. When I was married, I didn't have any mementos from past relationships. The only mementos I have of that nature are from my ex-husband.

 

[Sub-Zero]

Well, why we broke up was complicated. There were financial stresses because he lost his income for abouth a year and then worked for a company that stiffed him out of his pay and then went out of business. I was working 60-80 hours a week as a brand new attorney, etc. We both made mistakes and sort of grew apart. I wanted to work on it. He wanted to divorce. We may have gotten back together, but then he got transferred to Wisconsin.

It wasn't a simple matter of either of us being obviously terrible to the other one.

We still love each other as friends, and if I ever marry again I would like to have someone as good and kind as he is. Overall, he probably wasn't my exact perfect match, and I wasn't his.

what you just told was the excuses for the "mistakes" that cause the relationship to be irreparable

so what exactly did you do to cause the marriage to end?

 

[Sub-Zero]

Don't snoop!!!! If you have to snoop then obviously you don't have any trust in your relationship. So the question is why are you this relationship....

didnt you snoop onto your ex-bfs myspace>?


lotta hypocrites(women) up in here

 

[heatherrae]

what you just told was the excuses for the "mistakes" that cause the relationship to be irreparable

so what exactly did you do to cause the marriage to end?

hmmmmm....i worked too much. I was mad at him because he didn't work at all and his self esteem suffered. We said some not so nice things to each other and fought over money. Stuff like that. It is hard to type on the internet a simple reason. It isn't always that simple of a reason. We just got sort of neglectful of each other's needs.

 

[covergrl80]

didnt you snoop onto your ex-bfs myspace>?


lotta hypocrites(women) up in here

That damn guy left the his yahoo wide open and a nude photo of a chic up. What else was I supposed to do.

If there is a reason to snoop then do it, and in my situation there was a very good reason. I am not sure you would call what I did snooping. There has to be another name for it

 

[calveless wonder]

That damn guy left the his yahoo wide open and a nude photo of a chic up. What else was I supposed to do.

If there is a reason to snoop then do it, and in my situation there was a very good reason. I am not sure you would call what I did snooping. There has to be another name for it

Don't snoop!!!! If you have to snoop then obviously you don't have any trust in your relationship. So the question is why are you this relationship....

right...that's not hypocritical.

 

[Sub-Zero]

That damn guy left the his yahoo wide open and a nude photo of a chic up. What else was I supposed to do.

If there is a reason to snoop then do it, and in my situation there was a very good reason. I am not sure you would call what I did snooping. There has to be another name for it

i dont believe you that it was left wide open.

and your reason is because you suspected him of cheating. nobody is going to snoop for fun, something triggers the need to.

also, heatherrae: im sorry about your marriage maybe u guys should try again?

 

[hanselthecaretaker]

So let me get this straight...you let some drunk chick, grind on you, 'molest' you on a public dance floor thru 3 songs with your girlfriend watching...and the best response you could think of was to "shut down"?????

True, in retrospect soon after I realized I should have put a stop to it much earlier, but my thinking at the time was (perhaps due to the fact we had a fight before getting there so I was a little depressed about that)
- it was her birthday, I'll be a "nice guy". It was also obvious I was just playing along with the drunk girl to please her and her friends. She started acting slutty about half way through the ordeal, and of course I didn't like it but they knew her better than I, so I figured they must have expected this type of behavior. With the majority of younger people's slack morals these days it's not like this is so shocking a scene anyway, so I'll deal with it til I see a convenient exit since everyone already knows it means nothing anyway. My ex thought of it much differently, and I can understand that completely. I would've stopped it much sooner had I know how she saw the situation. If you're thinking "How would she have not seen it any other way!?!" then I'll make you aware that this is a girl who was ready to have sex with me the morning after we met (maybe sooner), had I not been more cautious with her. How could I have known she would reverse her moral stance when it came to some as meaningless as having her boyfriend get dragged by her friends into dancing with some drunk girl at a bar? I know I let it go too far in general but I never knew until I saw her ignoring me afterwards that she would've taken it so seriously.


Try to be a nice guy for one and end up hurting another.

 

[covergrl80]

i dont believe you that it was left wide open.

and your reason is because you suspected him of cheating. nobody is going to snoop for fun, something triggers the need to.

also, heatherrae: im sorry about your marriage maybe u guys should try again?

He left the computer on, i went to get it , moved the mouse around to bring the screen up and there it was.

 

[katdav]

True, in retrospect soon after I realized I should have put a stop to it much earlier, but my thinking at the time was (perhaps due to the fact we had a fight before getting there so I was a little depressed about that)
- it was her birthday, I'll be a "nice guy". It was also obvious I was just playing along with the drunk girl to please her and her friends. She started acting slutty about half way through the ordeal, and of course I didn't like it but they knew her better than I, so I figured they must have expected this type of behavior. With the majority of younger people's slack morals these days it's not like this is so shocking a scene anyway, so I'll deal with it til I see a convenient exit since everyone already knows it means nothing anyway. My ex thought of it much differently, and I can understand that completely. I would've stopped it much sooner had I know how she saw the situation. If you're thinking "How would she have not seen it any other way!?!" then I'll make you aware that this is a girl who was ready to have sex with me the morning after we met (maybe sooner), had I not been more cautious with her. How could I have known she would reverse her moral stance when it came to some as meaningless as having her boyfriend get dragged by her friends into dancing with some drunk girl at a bar? I know I let it go too far in general but I never knew until I saw her ignoring me afterwards that she would've taken it so seriously.



Try to be a nice guy for one and end up hurting another.

It was meaningless to you...I would have been hurt and pissed. Be nice to the one you love, not the drunk chick......

 

[heatherrae]

I have the opposite problem, I'm not attentive enough apparently. I've had many ex's deliberately try to make me jealous to see if I care, and when it doesn't work (because I don't care) they get all upset. Of course I probably wouldn't have to deal with these stupid games if I'd stop dating girls 10 years younger than myself.

I would to have a bf that didn't get jealous. every one I ever have snoops and acts like a nutjob.

 

[javaguru]

I would to have a bf that didn't get jealous. every one I ever have snoops and acts like a nutjob.

I wouldn't give a shit about you or what you do.

 

[EnderJE]

Fuck him too. Solves everything.

 

[heatherrae]

I wouldn't give a shit about you or what you do.

hhhhhmmmmmmmmm.... sort of like now?

 

[hanselthecaretaker]

It was meaningless to you...I would have been hurt and pissed. Be nice to the one you love, not the drunk chick......

That was my original plan but I got detoured by no solicitation on my own part, then crumbled. I should've listened to myself but ended up learning the hard way for getting into something I never would've otherwise.

I'm an awful person for making a mistake.

 

[Tweakle]

I had one ex like that, she had a shoebox of letters and photo albums of the 'good old days'. It didn't last long, and neither will yours I think

No guy really wants to know anything about who's been there before him, but when my 110lb fiance told me her last long term boyfriend could fit into her clothes he became a non-issue

 

[katdav]

That was my original plan but I got detoured by no solicitation on my own part, then crumbled. I should've listened to myself but ended up learning the hard way for getting into something I never would've otherwise.

I'm an awful person for making a mistake.

Sorry for picking on you............... You're right we all make mistakes.

 

[Wulfgar]

i am sure he had a much smaller penis than you bro

now you can stop worrying about it